Family Ties (29 page)

CHAPTER SEVENTY

I gather my purse and tote bag to leave work for the day when a bouquet of white calla lilies appears in front of me. I lift my head and Jason greets me with his bright smile. I jump out of my chair and throw my arms around him. He buries his face in my neck, lifts me up, and inhales deeply.

I run my fingers through his dark hair. “You know how to surprise me.” His scent fills my head and grounds me.

“I couldn’t wait for later.”

“I’m not complaining.” 

He sets my feet back on the ground. “Are we still on for dinner with Riss and Damian tonight?”

“Yeah. I just need to go home and change. Have you been home?”

This is his first time home in two weeks. Dark circles have taken up residence under his eyes. He looks pasty and thinner, despite his smile. He nods. “Dad and I spent a few hours watching movies. I left him listening to some jazz when Mom got home.”

Dad joins us, briefcase in hand. “I guess you don’t need a ride home.” He smiles and hugs Jason.

“No.” I pick up my bags. “We’ll be right behind you.” 

Jason slips his arm around my waist and doesn’t let go until we get to the car. He passes me the flowers still in his hand. I was so excited that I hugged him without taking them from him.

“Thank you for the flowers,” I say once we’re in the car.

He looks over and beams. “You’re welcome, Parker.” He palms my cheek with his left hand as he brushes his lips over mine. He sits back and sighs.  

“You don’t look well,” I say, concerned. I bring our joined hands to his face, running my thumb along his jaw.

He presses his lips to my hand. “I’m not happy up there,” he admits. “I miss you. I miss my parents. I miss having my own room.”

“Don’t practices start in a month or so?”

“Yeah,” he answers, turning the key in the ignition. “I’m not sure I was really ready for all of this.” 

“All of what?”

“College. Leaving you. Being away from Dad. Living with three teammates who party most of the time.” 

“I’m sorry.” A tug on my chest from an invisible line connecting us reels me in. I want to hold him and cut away everything causing him this misery.

“I wish you were with me up there.”

“J—“

“I know. I know. You would just make it more bearable. And I wouldn’t be living with three Neanderthals.” 

I chuckle. “They hardly sound like Neanderthals when we’re on Skype.” 

A slight smirk crosses his face. “I make them behave.”

Jason takes my flowers to the kitchen for a vase when we arrive home while I get ready for our double date. Arissa comes into my room as I pin my hair up.

“What’s up, Riss?” I ask through the bobby pin between my teeth.

“Is Jason okay? He doesn’t seem like himself.” 

I take the pin out and stick it strategically into my hair. “He told me in the car he’s not happy up there.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.” I touch up my makeup. “He wishes I were there with him.”

“You’re not going, are you?” she asks, worried.

“No. As much as I miss him and want to go, I’m not ready.”

She sits on my bed and leans back. “I’m not ready for you to go, either.” 

“You weren’t opposed to it when he asked me the first time.”

“I can change my mind. It’s my prerogative,” she says with sass.

I stand and turn to her. “Don’t tell me you’re getting all sentimental and weepy on me,” I tease.

“No. I just like having you around.” She smiles and stands up.

“Let’s go wow our men.” I hook my arm through hers and lead her out.

Jason holds my hand in his lap as we peruse the menu.

“What are you guys getting?” Jason asks Arissa and Damian.

“Shrimp Fra Diablo,” Arissa answers, setting her menu down.

“Angus Top Sirloin,” Damian states.

“Same here.” Jason grins. He turns to me. “What about you, Parker?”

I recognize what he’s doing. I did it when keeping secrets was the priority. Managing the conversation to keep the topic you don’t want to discuss far from the table. “Paella.” I take a sip of water.

“How’s school going for you?” he asks Arissa and Damian.

“Not bad,” Damian answers. “I’m glad I chose not to keep on playing football. I don’t think I could handle school and football right now.”

“What about you, Jericho?”

She perks up and plasters on a smile for Jason. “A lot of work, but I’m enjoying it.”

“How’s it going for you, man?” Damian asks.

Jason shrugs. “It’s been rough. I miss everyone.”

The server comes by and we give her our order.

“I’m glad you didn’t go further away,” Damian says. “I like being able to see you on the weekends. At least until the season starts. We’ve all spent so much time together it feels like a piece is missing when you’re not here.” 

“It’s nice being able to come home most Fridays,” he admits, then kisses the back of my hand.

Nicole and Becky approach the table and Becky sets a hand on the back of Jason’s chair. It’s like they have Sara Sonar, able to detect me in any public area.

“Where’s Hunter in all this?” Nicole asks, motioning her finger in a circle. “There’s only four place settings.”

“Why don’t you call him and ask? Oh, wait. He changed his number when you wouldn’t stop calling him. Stalker much?” I ask as Damian leaves the table.

Jason squeezes my hand and gives his head a slight shake. He doesn’t want me to egg them on and cause a scene, but they’re the ones who sought us out. Becky’s hand slides to Jason’s shoulder. His jaw tightens and he draws his arms closer to his body.

“What’s the matter, Jason?” she asks. “Not getting what you need from Sara?”

He brushes her hand off. “You would never understand, Bec.”

She bends over, cleavage almost in his face. He edges away. “Why don’t you try me? She’s just playing you and Hunter anyway.”

I shake my head in silence, staring at the table, then glance between Becky and Nicole. “It must be a sad existence for both of you to keep chasing men who don’t want you. What is it they say is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Jason and Hunter don’t love either of you.”

Nicole smacks her palms on the table, glaring at me. “You took what was ours.”

I lean in. “Neither of them
ever
belonged to you. Get that through your thick skull.”

Ice water stings my face and runs down into my dress. I let out a yelp from the shock and wipe the water from my eyes. Nicole holds an empty water glass with a wicked smirk on her face. “Fat ho.” She slams the glass down.

Damian returns with several male staff members and the manager, then sits back down in his seat. “Ladies,” the manager addresses Becky and Nicole, “I need you both to leave.”

Nicole spins on her toes, hair whipping around, and Becky follows her out. A server hands me a towel.

“Do you want to leave?” Jason asks as I use the towel to blot my face.

“It’s only water, J.”

Arissa sniggers. “At least it wasn’t milk this time.”

I laugh with her. “Let’s just enjoy our dinner and try to forget they were here,” I say as the food is brought out.

Dinner passes without further drama. We keep any mention of the sisters out of the conversation. To include them would be to give them the power they crave. I refuse to let them have it.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE

Jason’s head rests on his forearm on the doorjamb when I open the front door. He peers at me with a drawn face, then steps inside, picking me up around my waist in a desperate embrace. His tears fall as he buries his face in my shoulder.

“Oh, J. No,” I say, like Simon just kicked me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me. My own tears dampen his shoulder. I weave my fingers through his hair to keep him close.

We knew this day would come, but we didn’t know when. Death doesn’t give you a date. He shows up unannounced and takes you whether you’re ready or not.

Jason’s body shakes violently as his sobbing transforms into a howling lament. He falls to his knees, sitting back on his calves and still holding me.

Mom peeks in from the dining room briefly before returning to dinner. I hold him tight despite the awkward positioning, and let him grieve. Dinner dishes clatter in the kitchen as the wracking leaves Jason’s body.

He situates us with his legs crossed under me. Still not the most comfortable for me, but I don’t tell him that.

I stroke his face. “Can I get you anything?”

He shakes his head and cinches his arms tight. “Don’t leave.” His words come out as a croak.

Mom kneels next to us and runs her hand across his back. Jason looks up with red, wet, puffy eyes. She offers him a glass of water. He shakes his head again. “Take it, Jason,” she says.

He reluctantly accepts the glass, takes a long draught, and hands it back. “Thank you,” he whispers.

“I’m sorry about your dad, Jason. He was a wonderful man and I’m going to miss him.”

Jason nods with his mouth turned down. Mom hugs him from the side, then places the glass on the table in the entry before returning to the kitchen.

“When did you get home? I thought you were staying in L.A. this weekend.”

“Late this morning. I changed my mind. I wanted to spend some time with him after Mom told me last night he was disoriented.”

I squirm a little at the uncomfortable position. “Do you want to go into the TV room?” 

He nods again and releases me. I take the glass with us and make him drink more before we settle on the sofa. He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.

“Where’s your mom?” I ask.

“Home.”

“Alone?”

“Yeah.” His eyes widen and his mouth gapes in horror.

“Mom!” I shout. She rushes to the door. “Alana is home alone.” 

“We already called the Rivens. I’ll get your dad and we’ll head over there.” 

“I’m sorry, Rose,” Jason says, threads of frailty wending their way through his voice. “I can go back.”

“It’s okay, sweetie. You stay here for a bit. Go home when you’re ready.”

“I didn’t mean to do that.” 

I stroke his face with light fingers. “J, it was an accident.”

His eyes lock on mine. They’re still red from crying. “After they took his body, I felt so empty. I needed you. I needed to hold you.” His weeping starts anew and he hides his face in my shoulder once more.

“It’s okay,” I say soothingly, stroking his hair. “Mom and Dad are going over and we’ll go back when you’re ready.”

“I want him back.” He sobs.

“I know,” I acknowledge, and kiss the top of his head.

Arissa enters with unusual quiet and leaves a box of tissues on the coffee table.

“Thank you,” I mouth to her.

“You’re welcome,” she mouths in return. “Do you want me to stay with you guys, or go with Mom and Dad?” she asks out loud.

“Whatever you want to do, Riss,” I answer.

“I’ll call Damian and see if his parents can drop him off here,” she states, then leaves the room.

Jason quiets again a few minutes later. I pass him a tissue. He wipes his eyes with it, then his nose. I hand him the water and he takes a long pull before handing it back.

“Have you eaten?” I ask.

He shakes his head.

“Do you want me to ask Riss to bring you something?”

He shakes his head again, then rests it on my shoulder. Arissa comes back. She must be hanging around in the hallway.

“Sandwich,” I mouth.

She gives me a thumbs up and leaves again. She returns a few minutes later with a turkey, lettuce, and tomato sandwich and holds the plate out to Jason.

“Oh, jeez,” he says, surprised. “Thanks, Jericho.”

“No problem,” she responds without her trademark snark and leaves with his glass.

He sets the plate on my lap and takes a small bite of the sandwich, chewing slow. I run my fingers through his hair and softly kiss his forehead. He pecks my cheek once he swallows his food. “Thank you, Parker.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did more than you know.” He takes another small bite.

Arissa returns with the glass and sets it on the coffee table.

“Thanks again, Jericho.”

“You’re welcome. Do you want to finish your dinner?” she asks me.

The corners of his mouth curve down deeper. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, J. When I needed you, you rushed over without eating breakfast after I woke you up.”

“Yeah, but you made me pancakes.”

“Correction. I heated up Mom’s pancakes for you.”

“Same difference.” He gives a small smile for the first time.

“Dinner, Sis?” Arissa asks, a reminder of the other subject matter and that she’s still in the room.

“Yeah. I’ll get it.” I move to get up, but Jason holds tight with his left arm.

“I’m not ready to let go of you yet,” he says, subdued.

I turn to Arissa and mouth, “Sorry.”

She returns a few minutes later with the remnants of my dinner.

Damian arrives as Jason and I finish eating. “Hey,” he says, bumping fists with Jason. “Sorry about your dad.”

“Thanks, man.”

“If you need anything we’ll be in my room,” Arissa states, taking Damian by the hand and leading him out.

“Do you want to talk about it yet?” I ask.

“I don’t know if I can,” he answers.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to. I want you to know. He loved you too. But it’s just so…raw.” 

“It can wait.” I don’t want to push him before he’s ready. It’s not a good feeling.

He goes on anyway. Always determined to be strong, everyone’s unfailing rock. “He fell asleep after I tried to feed him lunch.” He inhales deep and swallows. “He slept longer than usual, so I went to check on him after I finished my laundry. He was gone.” Tears stream down his face.

“I’m so sorry,” I say as I cry with him.

“He was lying there so still and his skin felt like ice.” He stares at the floor. “I called Mom and she rushed home. If I hadn’t skipped classes today—“ he chokes up and draws me into him.

“I wanted to crawl out of my skin while we made calls to family while waiting for the ambulance and the hospice worker. I wanted out of there. I wanted to hold you.” He moves his hands to my head and pushes it back, locking our eyes. “Come back to L.A. with me. Please,” he pleads.

“J, I…“ I falter.

“I want you with me. I miss you every day we’re apart.”

“It’s a big decision. Let me think about it. I’m not saying no. I’m saying I don’t know,” I clarify. “Besides, where would I live? You’re in the dorms.”

“We can get an apartment off-campus.”

I ignore his suggestion. “Will you let me think about it? Even if it means not going back with you?”

He casts his eyes down and nods once, then touches his forehead to mine.

“I love you, J, but I can’t just jump into something like this.” 

“I know. I shouldn’t have asked again. I just miss you so much without anyone up there who really knows me like you or my parents, or even Arissa.”

“Is UCLA where you want to be, then? Why not transfer back here and be at home with your mom?”

“He wanted me to go to a good college, Parker.” 

“He also wanted you happy, not miserable.”

“I can’t leave in the middle of the semester. Plus, there’s basketball. I made a commitment.” 

“It’s your decision.” He can’t reason while grieving and he can’t recognize he’s choosing to appease everyone else. I’ll save the discussion for another time.

“Right now, I just want you.” His hands move to my cheeks, his lips barely brushing mine before he tips his head back. “I should get home.” 

“Let me get Arissa and Damian.”

“I’ll go with you. I still don’t want to let go of you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I remind him.

“I know. I just need your touch. It’s keeping me together right now.” 

I climb off his lap, leaving my hand on his shoulder until he gets up. We slip an arm around each other and walk to Arissa’s room; I knock on the door.

“We’re decent!” she calls out.

I crack the door open. “Jason’s ready to go home. Did you guys want to come with us?”

“Yeah,” Damian says, sitting up from his reclined position on Arissa’s bed. “I can drive if you want, J.”

“Sure.” He pulls his hand out of his pocket and tosses the keys to Damian.

Jason crawls in the back of his car and slides over while holding my hand. We are silent on the drive to his house. He traces patterns on my arm with his index finger. Up, down, around, side to side. I recognize the anxiety and allow him the peace he needs in the moment.

He tenses as Damian pulls into the driveway. I squeeze his knee and he glances at me, tears pooling above his lower lashes. His eyes close as he inhales and the tears run. My thumb strokes the first one away and he grasps my forearm.

Arissa and Damian head into the house.

He unbuckles our seatbelts, then lifts me onto his lap and I straddle him. His hands travel into my hair and I wind my arms around his neck, touching my lips to his. He opens up and takes my mouth with his.

The storm rumbles through me and I want it to consume me. I toss my head back as he trails kisses along my neck. He lays me across the back seat as he hovers over me. I want his body pressed against mine.

He closes in on my neck and lightly trails his tongue under my ear, sending crashing waves down my body. I ignore the voice telling me to fight the tempest, and the power of the storm sweeps me away. 

He pulls back and his eyes pierce mine as we breathe heavy. “I want you so bad right now,” he says, but his words are tinged with sorrow instead of need. 

“I know,” I say between jagged breaths, my senses returning. “But it can’t be like this. You’re emotionally charged right now.” 

“I just want something to make me forget for a little while.” He straightens out my shirt and cradles my face in his hands, kissing me hard and quick. “I’m sure they’re all wondering where we are.”

Everyone is gathered in the kitchen and dining room when we walk through the door. Alana runs out and enfolds Jason in her arms. He hugs her with his other arm, refusing to release my hand. Time falls away as they weep together.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” he says, the mutual grieving subsiding for now. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to leave you alone.” 

“It’s okay.” She lets go and pecks kisses all over his face.

“I just needed Sara. I should have said something.”

“Honey, you found your dad. I understand wanting to get out of here.” She turns to me with tear-stained cheeks and red eyes, sniffling. “Thank you for sending everyone over.” 

I draw her into an embrace. “I’m sorry about Mike.”

“Thank you, honey.” She releases me, kissing my cheek in the process. “Are you hungry?” she asks us.

She’s the nurse, the caretaker, with her head on straight in the midst of a crisis, being strong for everyone in the room instead of falling apart. He gets it from her.

“No. Arissa made me a sandwich,” Jason answers.

We head into the dining room where Dad, Felix, and Shelly offer Jason their condolences and hugs. He returns them with his free arm, still refusing to release my hand.

Shelly and Mom work in the kitchen for the next few hours making dishes for Alana and Jason that they can reheat later. Alana sits with Felix and Dad at the table, talking in subdued voices. Arissa and Damian turn on a movie in the TV room, Jason decides to join them, but doesn’t pay attention to the movie. He hides his face on my shoulder once more as we hold each other.

The Rivens, along with Damian, leave a few hours later after the kitchen is cleaned up and the food stored in the fridge and freezer. Mom and Dad get ready to take Arissa home after setting plans with Alana for tomorrow.

“Can Sara stay?” Jason asks them, clutching my hand like he’s afraid we’ll be separated. “I’ll bring her home by whatever time you want her home.”

Mom gives him a comforting smile. The one I saw the day they moved in. “Sweetie, she doesn’t have a curfew anymore, remember? Just bring her home when she’s ready.”