Authors: Debi V. Smith
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
Arissa cracks my bedroom door open as I pull on denim shorts. “Hunter, Jason, and Alana are here to help with cookout prep,” she announces.
“Thanks. I’ll be out soon.”
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” I answer, tucking my white tank top into my shorts. I grab my hair dryer and turn it on as I flip my head over. I wave the hair dryer around and comb my left hand through my hair. Arissa plops onto my bed and stares at the ceiling. I turn off the hair dryer after a few minutes and brush out my hair.
“Jason and Hunter talked to us,” she says. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a real bitch again.”
“Yeah, you have. Can you finally leave it alone?” I put the hair dryer away.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Please. I’m tired of us fighting over a guy who’s just my friend. Nothing more. It’s possible for that to happen, you know.”
“I know. I just forget that sometimes.” She pauses as if she’s thinking how to explain herself. “Are you moving to L.A. with Jason?”
Not what I expected, but it is Arissa. Avoiding the uncomfortable whenever possible because she hates dealing with it. “Only if he has a plan,” I answer, sitting at my vanity and picking up the blush and a large brush. I get just a hint of the color onto the brush and apply it in light strokes.
“I admire you for that.”
“For what?”
“For sticking to your guns and for not being so impulsive.”
I peek at her over my shoulder and ask the question I’m thinking. “What would you do?”
She rolls onto her side and props herself up on her forearm. “If Damian were in L.A. and asked me to move with him, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
“Do you think I’m being…Miss Goody Two-Shoes?” I swivel around and cross my arms on the back of my chair, leaning into it.
“Not prissy. Cautious.”
“Is that bad?”
“Not always. But what’s the worst that could happen if you did go and you didn’t have a plan?” she asks.
“He asked me the same thing last week.”
“Well?” she asks, quirking an eyebrow, not allowing me a fraction to avoid answering.
“We end up broke and move back home.”
“Is that so bad?”
“I thought you didn’t want me to go?”
“That was before Jason came home looking so haggard that one weekend.”
I know she’s worried about him. She’s just as much his friend as I am. For all of her boisterous, carefree personality, she loves deeply. But it would make her look vulnerable if she showed it.
I love her for it. If she hadn’t crossed the street over four years ago, I wouldn’t be here today. I’d still be across the street, lonely and afraid.
“What’s the point if we go, fail, and then come back?”
“The point is you went out there and
tried
. You took a chance without a plan and
left your past behind
.”
Tears sting my eyes. “How is it I’m not living with them anymore and they can still mess me up?”
Arissa walks over and enfolds me in her arms. “They’re always going to be there on the sidelines, Sis. They raised you and filled your head with what they wanted to. Your father abused you horrifically, and they both made you feel like you were worth less than dirt.” She lets go and peers down at me. “You don’t get over that shit overnight.”
I wipe my eyes carefully with the tips of my fingers. “I know. I just wish it wasn’t so ingrained sometimes. Some days I feel normal, like my past never happened. Like I always lived with you, Mom, and Dad. Then other days it’s
wham
, right in my face.”
Arissa grabs a tissue off my dresser and hands it to me.
“Thanks.” I take the tissue and dab the corners of my eyes.
“Just think about it. Maybe your ‘one day at a time’ is more about them than it is about you. You survived with them for over sixteen years living one day at a time. Maybe it’s time for you to go and grab life by the balls. You can do
anything
. I admire that about you too.”
“Stop making me cry!” I blindly grab a tube of lipstick and throw it at her.
She turns to her right defensively and the lipstick hits her arm and falls to the floor.
A knock at the door makes us both turn. “Come in!” I call.
The door opens and Mom pops her head through the opening. “Are you two coming out to help?”
“Yeah, Mom,” Arissa answers, then heads out with her.
I pick up the lipstick I threw at Arissa and set it back in its place.
“What do you want me to help with, Mom?” I ask, joining them in the kitchen.
Alana slices onions on one end of the island. Arissa slices mushrooms at the other end. Hunter tosses a salad at the counter, stopping long enough to draw me into a quick embrace.
“You can put all that on the dining room table,” she answers, pointing to the dishes, glasses, and utensils she just took out of the cabinets.
I step over to Alana and give her a hug.
“Hi, honey.”
“How are you doing?” I ask her.
She smiles. “I’m hanging in there.”
I hug her again, then peek outside as I carry the dishes to their destination. Jason and Dad stand near the grill, each with a drink in one hand and the other hand in a pocket, talking as they look out into the yard. I cradle the dishes and observe the two men who saved me. A swelling in my chest causes me to catch my breath as I think it should be Mike that Jason’s standing with out there.
“Sara?”
I jump and nearly lose the dishes.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Mom.” I tear my gaze away from outside and hurry to the table.
Mom sends me out with the chicken next. Dad and Jason turn around and smile when they see me.
“There’s my Parker.” Jason meets me halfway, taking the platter of chicken. He leans over and leaves a tender kiss on my forehead.
My cheeks flush and Dad chuckles. “Do you guys need anything else?”
“More water,” Jason answers, passing me his glass.
“More tea.” Dad hands over his.
The Rivens arrive and the quiet work morphs into chatter and laughter.
After eating, we relax and settle into a quasi-food coma.
“I understand you’re headed back to L.A. tomorrow, Jason,” Felix says, breaking the silence.
“Maybe,” he replies.
All heads turn to Jason. This is the first time he’s mentioned not going back to school. From Alana’s stunned expression, I figure he didn’t mention it to her either.
“I’ve just been thinking. That’s all. And I had a long talk with Andrew before everyone got here.”
My head whips to Dad, giving him a questioning look. He shrugs slightly. I shift back to Jason.
“I haven’t decided yet, Parker. But I thought about what you said about me not doing it all. Andrew just helped me process some of my thoughts. That’s all.”
“She’s right you know,” Alana says. “You don’t have to do it all.”
“I’m seeing that now, Mom. I thought I’d be letting Dad down if I didn’t go back to school, play basketball, and get my degree.”
“And here I was thinking about going back with you,” I state.
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Riss got me thinking too.”
Everyone stares at Arissa, who squirms from all the attention she would normally bask in.
“She can be really smart when she wants to be,” I add.
“My daughter?” Dad asks, dropping his jaw and raising his brows in feigned disbelief.
“Dad!” Arissa exclaims.
He snickers. “Joking!”
Jason leans into me. “Really?” he whispers.
“Yes,” I whisper in return.
“All right,” Dad says. “Who is ready for game time?”
A chorus of “Me,” rings out and we get up and head inside.
An hour later, Alana, Felix, and Shelly leave and I’m saying goodbye to Hunter at the door. He has both of my hands in his. “I’m going to miss you if you go,” he says.
“I’ll miss you too, but we’ll come down and visit. You know Jason’s going to want to see Alana as much as he can. And you can always come up to see us.”
“Truth.” He cinches his arms around me.
I let myself relax into him. If I leave, it’ll be just me and Jason. No Arissa. No Hunter. No one else to lean on but each other. A tear escapes at the thought.
“Hey,” he whispers. “You’re not gone yet.” He releases me. “We’ll deal with it when it happens, okay?” I nod. “I’ll call you later.”
“Thanks, Hunter.”
Jason and I go to my room where he sits at the head of my bed, relaxing against my pillows, and I sit facing him.
“You’re thinking about staying,” I say.
“You’re thinking about going.” He picks up a stuffed animal, a puppy he won for me at the Fair, and plays with it absently.
“What are we going to do?”
“What did Riss say to you?”
“She said I needed to leave my past behind and take chances.”
He presses the floppy ears together. “She has a point.”
“That’s why I started thinking again.”
“You would really go back with me without a plan?”
“Not right away. We at least need a place. I can’t live with you in the dorm.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to change your mind. It’s…not you.”
“Maybe there’s a new Sara in town.” I grin.
“I might like New Sara a lot.” He grins back.
“What about you?” I cover his knee with my hand. “You’re really thinking of staying?”
“Yeah. The last week has been hard. I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and I don’t know if I can keep my head in the game on the court and in school. If I had to go today, I couldn’t. It’s too fresh. One minute I’m okay. The next minute, something triggers a memory of him and I’m a wreck.”
I take his hand in mine. “You’re grieving. It’s natural.”
“I know. But you’re right.” He sets the puppy next to him. “Maybe I take the rest of the semester off and go back next semester.”
“What did Dad say to you?”
He flattens our palms together, then slips his fingers between mine. “He told me to follow my heart and do what’s best for me.”
“Wise man.”
“I agree.” He smiles crookedly.
“So what do we do?”
“I don’t know, Parker. All I know is whatever I do or wherever I go, I want it to be with you. If I wake up tomorrow still unsure about what I want to do, I’m calling Coach and asking for another week.”
“Buying some time?”
“Sanity.” He brings our intertwined hands to his chest and places my hand over his heart. “You are my heart, Parker. Always.”
He sits up and runs his free hand up my face. Our lips meet and I shudder inside. I slide my hand up his chest and around his neck. He breaks contact and pulls away.
“What?” I ask.
“Arissa and Damian are waiting for us.”
“Right. You distracted me.”
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
Jason lays out the blanket and we sit facing the ocean. He called his coach this morning, saying he needed another week. Then, he called me, wanting to go to the beach.
He strips off his shirt and tosses it to the side. “Do my back?” he asks, handing me a bottle of sunscreen.
I squeeze some lotion into the palm of my hand and work it into his back until I can’t see any trace.
He takes the bottle. “Your turn.”
I slip off my tank top and skirt, turning my back to him. His warm hands work the sunscreen in methodically from my neck to the top of my bikini bottom. He winds his arms around me when he finishes. I cozy up to him and rest my arms on his legs.
Nothing needs to be said. You can say just as much in the silences with each other as you can with words. Our silences are filled with the ease of our friendship, the comfort we bring each other, and love.
He rummages around in his backpack with one hand. Unable to find what he’s searching for, he uses both hands. I twist around out of curiosity.
“No peeking,” he says.
I twist further.
He uses both hands to turn my head towards the ocean. “It’s a surprise.”
“J—“
“Shhh. Watch the waves,” he orders, digging through his backpack again.
The waves come in long sets of three. Taking their time, then spilling onto shore as if sighing with pleasure.
The rustling stops and his arms are around me again. I settle back into him.
“I meant what I said last night about wanting to be with you,” he reminds me.
“I know you did.”
“No, I really mean it, Parker. The only certainty in my life right now is I always want to be with you.” He opens up his left hand and picks something out of it with his right index finger and thumb.
The sun glares in my eyes and I squint, but it doesn’t help. I grab his wrist and pull it to my face. He’s holding a platinum ring with emeralds set on either side of a diamond.
My heart races and flutters. I turn halfway around to Jason, with serious, but shining eyes.
“I want to be with you always and forever, Parker. Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” I answer without hesitation.
His half-cocked grin breaks up one side of his face and he slides the ring on my finger. It slips on too easy.
“We can take it to get sized this week.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“It’s the ring Dad gave to Mom when he proposed to her.”
“I can’t take this,” I say, sitting up fast.
“Relax, Parker. She gave it to me after graduation. She hasn’t worn it in years. She wanted me to have it when the time is right.”
“But we never decided anything.”
“No, but we’ll figure it out, even if it means I stay here.”
“What about basketball?”
“Basketball isn’t my life, it’s a means to an end that I happen to like. It got me a scholarship. I’d miss it, but I can find pick-up games if I really want to play. I didn’t decide this on a whim.”
I smile. “Can we go tell my family?”
“Anything you want, Parker.” He draws me closer and kisses my lips softly. “Ready?”
I nod and we gather up our clothes and the blanket, then head for the car. Jason fishes his phone out of his board shorts and dials as we walk. “Hey, Mom…Yeah, we’re good…Mom, I’m fine…I just called to see if you could meet us at Sara’s…No, really, we’re all right…I love you too. I’ll see you soon.”
“She okay?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says, slipping the phone back in the pocket and sliding his arm around my waist. “She worries a lot now that Dad’s gone.”
“I should probably call home to let them know your mom is coming.”
Dad answers the phone and I let him know Alana is heading over once I assure him we’re all right.
Everyone is waiting in the front room, on their feet before I have the front door fully open.
“What’s going on?” Mom asks, unease lining her face.
“What happened?” Alana asks frantic.
Jason and I look at each other then back at them. Jason lifts our joined hands with the ring facing them.
Arissa squeals and jumps up and down. Mom and Alana cover their mouths and hug each other. Jason releases my hand and hugs Dad, then Damian. Arissa breaks through everyone, still squealing and jumping, to tackle me in a bear hug. Her squealing is contagious as I join in the jumping with her.
“You had us all worried,” Mom declares.
“I told you not to worry,” Dad says.
I study him, looking rather pleased with himself. “Did you know about this?”
“We might have discussed it yesterday,” he answers, a mischievous grin breaks out across his face.
“And you didn’t tell me?” Mom smacks his shoulder.
Arissa ceases her squealing and jumping to grab my hand and examine the ring.
Alana wraps her arms around Jason. “You could’ve told me it was about our talk this morning.”
He settles into her embrace and kisses the top of her head. “I wanted to tell you in person and not over the phone.”
Alana grabs me unceremoniously next and enfolds me in her arms. I hold her tight. She breaks away after a moment and places her hands on my cheeks. Tears stream down her face. “I wish Mike were here to see this.”
“I bet he’s watching us right now,” I say, wanting it to be true.
Damian swoops in and swings me around, whispering, “Don’t be giving your sister any ideas now.”
“Pressure’s on,” I whisper back. I wink as he sets me down and steps away.
He points his finger at me. “You. Are. Bad.”
“Moi?” I splay my fingers across my collarbone.
“We need to celebrate.” Dad says before Damian can answer. “Damian, why don’t you call your parents and ask them to come over?”
“Sure.”
“I’m going to get us some champagne,” Dad announces, then looks at Mom. “Is there anything you want me to pick up?”
“Enough…Never mind, I’ll go with you.”
“I’ll go too,” Alana chimes in.
“I’m going to change,” I say, heading to my room.
Jason follows. I do the best imitation I can muster of Arissa raising a lone eyebrow. He laughs then lifts up my bag, a reminder that he’s carrying it up for me.
Once in my room, he sets my bag next to the bed and takes hold of my waist, covering my mouth with his. He kicks the door closed and tugs me closer. My hands slide into his hair as he trails soft kisses down my neck. His hands find the hem of my skirt and skims my hips underneath.
A soft gasp escapes my lips as every nerve ending prickles. “J.”
“Hmm?” he vocalizes, settling on the spot right above my collarbone to run his warm tongue around.
“Oh, God. J.” I lose strength in my legs and I tighten my hold on him.
“Like?” he asks, continuing to give his attention to that spot.
“Oh, yes, but stop.”
He straightens with his half-grin on display. “I was enjoying myself and so were you.”
“True, but Felix and Shelly are on their way here.”
“So many people always getting between us,” he says melodramatically, as if we’re in a Shakespearean tragedy. He kisses my forehead. “I’ll go change in the bathroom. Meet you in the TV room?”
I nod and turn around. He swats my behind before opening the door and I let out a shriek as I jump back around. He laughs and puts a finger to his lips to shush me.
“Get changed already, Parker,” he orders, hastening his exit.
I change into my jade green sundress, then brush my hair back into a ponytail. I move to my bed and pick up the phone, punching in the numbers I have memorized.
“Sara!” Hunter exclaims. “What’s up, my friend?”
“Jason asked me to marry him.”
“No way!”
“Yes way! You’ve got to come over. My parents are out right now getting food and Damian’s parents are on their way.”
“Give me an hour. I’m still at the skate park.”
Damian, Arissa, and Jason are watching a San Diego Chargers game with Felix and Shelly, who hug and congratulate me when I join them.
Mom, Dad, and Alana return with groceries and champagne at the start of halftime. Mom shoos me and Jason out of the kitchen. “Go,” she says, waving us off when I try to argue.
We return to the football game and Hunter joins us when he arrives. He presses into my side and grabs my left hand, checking out the ring.
“Congrats,” he says.
Jason and I thank him at the same time.
“So, give me the deets.”
We take turns telling Hunter how Jason proposed and everyone’s reaction when we came home until Arissa interrupts to tell us dinner is ready.
The addition of leaves lengthen the dining room table set with Mom’s good china. A platter of steaks lays in front of Dad’s seat with side dishes spread out over the table. Everyone has a crystal flute in their hand. Mom and Dad each pass one to me and Jason and Felix hands one to Hunter.
“I know we normally dine informally,” Dad says, “but this is a special occasion. Our families have been tied together through our children for the last two years. Now one of those ties will be binding. To Sara and Jason,” he toasts raising his flute toward the middle.
A run of clinking fills the air as we tap glasses.
“You kids get one glass,” Dad says, pointing to each one of us. “That’s it.”
Arissa gives him a mock salute. “Yes, Sir!”
“Let’s eat!” Mom calls out.
“So, Sara,” Shelly says as we take our seats. “Will you be going back to L.A. with Jason?”
“We’re going to discuss what would be better for both of us this week.”
“That’s great thinking,” Alana says.
“It was all Jason’s idea.” I smile at her.
“I have such a smart son.” She beams and pinches his cheek.
We rest against the backs of our chairs with our hands on our full bellies when we finish eating.
“That was wonderful, you guys. Thank you,” I say.
“Yes, thank you everyone,” Jason echoes.
“We still have dessert!” Arissa exclaims with a bright smile.
“I think I need to digest all this first.” Felix extends his stomach and rubs it with both hands.
Shelly slaps his arm. “Have some class, Felix.”
“That is class for him, Mom,” Damian quips.
“What’s for dessert?” Jason asks, peeking over his shoulder at the island.
“Chocolate cake!” Arissa answers.
I glance at Arissa, who is grinning from ear to ear and appears ready to burst. I give her a perplexed look and she jumps out of her seat. Shelly and Alana clear the table while Mom cuts the cake and Dad makes coffee.
“I have something for you!” She stoops behind her chair, then straightens up with a pile of magazines in her hands and approaches me. “Your first set of bridal magazines.” She holds the stack out to me.
“Holy shit, Riss.” I set the magazines, which weigh a ton, in my lap. Hunter peeks at them.
“Mom and Alana bought them, so they’re really from them.”
“You suggested we pick them up, honey,” Alana says.
My head swims with thoughts of the details that will need to be arranged. Location, dresses, flowers, food, cake, music, invitations, guest list. “I have a lot of work to do.”
“I’ll help,” Jason says, taking the magazine on top and flipping through it.
“You know I will too,” Arissa adds, still standing next to my chair, hands clasped in front of her.
“Me three,” Hunter chimes in.
I know Arissa’s waiting for the question every best friend wants to be asked, but it’s fun to see her squirm sometimes. “Riss, will you be my maid of honor?”
“Yes!” She throws her arms around me. The magazines spill onto the floor. Damian, Felix, Hunter, and Jason shuffle around in their seats to pick them up.
“Riss,” I yelp, tapping her shoulder. “Need air.”
“Sorry!” She releases me and wipes her face with her fingers.
“Did you think I wasn’t going to ask?”
“Kind of.”
“You’re my best friend
and
my sister. Who else would I ask?”
She shrugs and returns to her seat.
My gaze flicker to Hunter. “I want you up there with me too.”
He grins. “You can count on me.”
Jason sets the magazines on the table in front of him. “What are you going to do with all of these anyway?”
“Ideas, J.”
“Ah.”
“And since you said you’d help, you’re going to look through them with me.”
“No!” He presses the back of his hand to his forehead and throws himself back in the chair. “I can’t do it. It’s too much. Please, don’t make me.”
“Man up, Waters,” Arissa says.
He lays his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Jericho.”