Far From Heaven (17 page)

“With all my heart,” he said, and ripped the Gatlin contract in two.

Chapter Thirteen

Maddie came off the bed where she’d collapsed in tears, choking and gasping for breath. Oh God, what was this? She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t…

As soon as the attack—whatever it was—had come upon her, it was gone. She filled her lungs with blessed air, expanding them to their max. If she could overflow them, she would, because the deeper she inhaled, the more a sense of peace she’d never known before seemed to seek out all the dark places in her soul and fill them up. Finally she couldn’t take any more, and she exhaled slowly. That felt even better. Like all the bad things, the fear, the dread, were pouring out of her with every measure of breath she released.

Was she crazy? She couldn’t be. Or if she was, it felt pretty damn good.

The gentle knock at the front door startled her. She scurried into the living room and peeked out to see Ash standing outside, his head down. As her heart knocked against her ribs, she saw him rub a hand hard over his face.

She didn’t want to let him in. He hadn’t been gone long at all, and that couldn’t be good news, could it? But judging by the way she felt,
something
had happened. Leaving the chain in place, she cracked the door open. His head lifted, and she almost gasped at the frightening devastation on his face.

“What is it?” she asked, her voice trembling.

He gave her a smile. But it wasn’t a heartening one, not in the least. “I just wanted you to know you’re free. All is as it should be.”

“They let me go?”

“I let you go.” He went to turn away. “I hope you get everything out of life you wish, Madeleine.”

“Wait!” She didn’t know what made her do it, but she shut the door and disengaged the chain lock. Ash waited while she threw the door open wide again. “Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Oh. You mean…”

“Yes.”

“Will I…ever see you again?”

He shook his head, as if he couldn’t give voice to the answer. Her fingers went to her lips. Everything within her was crying out that it was a good thing, a very good thing. Except for the one little part that could tell by his face and the faint tremor he tried to hide by shoving his hands in his pockets that he’d given up more than she knew, more than he could tell her. Much more.

“I can’t say I never meant to hurt you, Madeleine. There was a time when I did mean to. I had fun at your expense. But I realize now I never would have taken you. I couldn’t.” He reached out a hand toward her, paused and searched her face for reaction. She didn’t move. Crazy though she might be, she craved his touch. A moment later, she had it. His hand cradled the side of her face; his thumb stroked her cheek. Wiping away the tear she hadn’t realized had spilled. “I love you.”

“Oh God. Ash…”

“If you ever felt the same, even for a moment, tell me now. Tell me before I have to go.”

She nodded. “I did. I loved you.”

He accepted the past tense with good grace. It was all she could give him after everything she’d learned. But she slid her hand over his and held it there, unwilling for him to pull away. Not yet. “I feel so different. For the first time in my life, I feel like everything’s going to be okay.”

He nodded. “It is. Because for the first time in your life, or at least as long as you can remember, I won’t be involved anymore. The curse is lifted. You’re free.”

“But you gave this to me, and you didn’t have to.”

His eyes went darker. “Don’t make me out to be a hero. I’ve been nothing but a villain to you.”

“Maybe you’ve spent so long telling yourself that, you can’t think of yourself any other way. I’ve seen the good in you, Ash.”

“You haven’t seen half the evil.”

Despite her grasping fingers, he pulled his hand away and stepped back. Her skin immediately missed his heat and tingled in the aftermath. She stepped outside her door to try to make up for the distance he’d placed between them. “Thank you, Madeleine.”

“Don’t go yet—”

She was talking to his back now. It was all she could do to keep her feet planted to the floor, to not run after him as he rounded the corner and took the stairs down to the parking lot. He obviously didn’t want her to follow.
Please look back at me one more time, at least.

He didn’t.

They probably expected him to run, but he was done being a coward. When he was around the corner of the building and safely out of sight of Madeleine’s door, he stopped and stared down at the ground, willing the earth to claim him.

One look back at her and he might have run from his fate. Run straight into her arms and remained there until they were forced to come drag him home. But whatever they had in store for him, it would be a mercy. It would either take his mind off her, or it would kill him.

He felt the power rise around him, sucking at his feet, then his legs, rising into his torso and out to his fingertips. When it reached the top of his head, engulfing him fully, he’d be gone from this world, most likely for good.

He lifted his head and looked up at the sky, admiring the intricate patterns the bare limbs of the tree next to him made against the glittering black void of the sky. He wished that sky could be blue. The same color as Madeleine’s eyes, eyes no longer darkened by the haunted shadow he had placed in them. Maddie belonged up there, beyond the clouds. Not where he was going. He’d done the right thing. He could take comfort in that much at least.

“Ashemnon.”

Startled at the voice and a little alarmed as the invisible power slipped up over his mouth and nose—never his favorite part, the sensation had to be akin to drowning—he glanced over to see Riam standing next to the tree.

“Good luck to you,” the angel said.

Ash managed to give him a nod. Then the creeping magic completed its journey and the earth cracked open to swallow him in a whirlwind of searing heat, screams and the sickly orange glow of the lake of fire.

“Ash!”

Madeleine flew around the corner of the building in the direction she’d seem him disappear. Back here there was a narrow passage between the apartments and an aging brown wooden fence. She’d expected to find him still walking along the carefully tended grass, but the only sound was the wind whistling through the limbs of a lone tree. There was an odd tinge of scent riding the sudden gust, something like…sulfur. It stung her nostrils. But there was no sign of him.

She pulled her sweater tight and glanced behind her. It was as if no one had been here. He was gone already.

She didn’t know why she’d come. It was crazy, and she hadn’t planned out what she wanted to say when she found him. But their exchange at her door hadn’t satisfied her. They couldn’t end this way. He deserved more than her pitiful words for giving her her life back, and dammit, she wanted to make him listen.

Giving her life
back
was inaccurate. Because of him she’d never had much of a life to start with. But it didn’t matter.

She turned back around and shouted into the wind rushing through the alleyway, though its bite nearly stole her voice. “Ash!” Maybe she really hadn’t been quick enough. Maybe he’d already reached the other end. She sprinted in that direction, halting when the alley opened into the courtyard.

It didn’t make sense for him to come this way in the first place. It was time to face the truth: he’d said he had to go and he was gone.

A broken sob tore from her throat. “
No.
”

She had so many questions for him, and now there would never be any answers. She turned and began the trudge back to her apartment, silent tears slipping from her chin.

What happened then would remain a mystery for the rest of her life. Something grabbed her out of nowhere,
something
knocked the air from her lungs with nothing but a single touch. Her body was wrenched to one side and slammed against the fence, and she found herself staring into the eyes of a man she’d never seen before. Big, golden-haired…and the most frightening thing she’d ever seen in her life with that killing hatred burning in his black eyes. As she stared in horror, they began to glow red.

Pain radiated from her chest, further cutting off her air and, when she tried to cry out, no sound would come. His hand shot out to grip her throat, the hold tightening to bone-crushing proportions. His other hand slammed into her chest and the agony there went nuclear, partially blinding her. Every nerve in her body screamed as if it were being torn out. But she knew, in the moment before the sudden rushing darkness could claim her completely, that it wasn’t anything physical being torn out. It was her soul.

Ash, help me!
He couldn’t leave her now. He wouldn’t.

She could no longer see, or feel, but she could hear. A sudden flutter like a thousand wings beating the air. An infuriated shout, an answering roar.

There was no strength in her; she could only assume she was lying on the ground by now. Judging from the direction the sounds were coming from, she was. She wondered if her heart even continued to beat. But it had to, didn’t it? She was alive; she wasn’t dead yet. The noises of a vicious fight were still swirling around her, close and then distant and then close again. Whoever they were, they seemed to be locked in a death-match.

Her muddled brain tried to make sense of the words tearing from their straining throats.

“You can’t touch her soul. It is
written
—”

“I can still kill the whore.”

“Kill her, and she goes with me. You’ve still lost.”

Maddie tried to move and sensed…nothing. Numbness should be preferable to pain, only at the moment, it wasn’t. It was infinitely more terrifying. She wasn’t aware of the ground beneath her, of the blades of grass that should be prickling against her cheek.

What if she
was
dead? The voices coming from above her, arguing over her…they didn’t sound like any voices she’d ever heard before. One of them was so clear and piercing it was almost painful—and she clung to that, because it was the only sensation she could discern in this tumult of darkness—but the other was low and menacing, a growl that couldn’t have come from a human throat. The only thing she knew was neither of them was Ash, and she wanted him, needed him to come put a stop to this…

The noise from the fighting reached a crescendo. Maddie wanted nothing more than to get up and run away as fast as she could, but nothing on her body
worked
.

Paralyzed. Whatever he did to you, you’re paralyzed.

After those words whispered through her half-functioning mind, all her thoughts became one repeated prayer.

Oh, please, God, help me…

Suddenly, absolute silence descended, and for one terrible instant she thought her hearing had gone too. But then she heard her name in that crystal, too-clear voice, sharp as wind chimes. It came from right above her.

“Madeleine?”

She couldn’t reply. Would he think she was dead if she couldn’t answer him? She found that, cold as she was, she could grow far colder and darkness could reach far deeper at the thought of those ramifications.

The voice grew softer, sighing. “Oh, Madeleine. I should have seen this coming.”

What did that mean?

She wanted to weep from this frustration.

Riam stared down at the crumpled figure on the ground and wanted to drop through the earth and thrash every demon in Hell. Especially the one whose fault it was she was brought into this situation in the first place.

But his anger was short-lived. It turned out he’d lied to that one, assuring him everything would be all right. He had to gnaw his lip to keep from uttering a curse. After all these years, he should have learned not to overestimate the demons’ ability to adhere to the rules. He’d been a fool.

Saklon, the coward who particularly enjoyed deeds such as this, had retreated back to the slimy, slithering depths from whence he’d come and left Riam with a colossal mess to clean up. Quickly, he surveyed the area to make sure Madeleine wasn’t in danger of being found, then he stilled himself to send out the telepathic distress call to the earthbound angels of the area.

“This is Riam of the Order Iaoth, requesting aid for transport of a human female to the nearest safe house.”
He gave the address, though the angels were all aware of one another’s locations and one of them should be able to find him easily.

A moment later, the answer came.

“This is Celeste. I’m en route, Riam. ETA fifteen minutes.”

Good. If someone found Madeleine like this, she would be taken straight to a hospital.
Not
good. Kneeling next to her, he laid a hand upon her head and felt in one consuming rush the fear ripping her thoughts to shreds. Her soul was hanging on by mere threads. He could see it, like a vague, shimmery superimposition of herself overlaying her skin. Another second and she’d have been free of her mortal confines. He would’ve had no choice but to take her with him.

What choice did he have now? He couldn’t put her back. But neither could he leave her this way, with one foot in her world and one in his. Maybe he should have let Saklon finish the job; at least then she would be free. But the horror of what had been going on right before his eyes had been too much for him to stand by and watch. He’d jumped to action without thinking.

“Madeleine, can you hear me? There’s no need to speak. Think of what you want to say to me, and I’ll hear it.”

“What happened to me?”
Even her mental voice was weak, wavering.

“I take it Ashemnon explained to you what he was, what he had planned for you?”

“Yes.”

“That was one of his superiors who attacked you just now. He didn’t succeed at killing you, but now you’re…in between.”

“What happens to me now? Where is Ash? Please, I need him.”

“I’m sorry, Madeleine. I’ll try to help you any way I can.”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Riam.”

“Are you…like Ash?”

“No. I’m the opposite.”

“You’re an angel?”