Far-out Show (9781465735829) (23 page)

“You told me how its design can let that
happen,” Krinkle said. “How big a problem is it?”

“There is no for truly sure way to know yet.
Precautions were possible,” Nerber replied. “Wink wink if maybe you
are capturing the moving with the flowing that I make.”

Krinkle looked in the rear-view mirror as
Nerber leaned forward and winked at him, probably blocked by his
hat brim from the zerpy’s visual sensors.

“If Wilburps isn’t cut off by the
interference any more that must mean your people…uh, guys have
found a way to get around the effect of the jammer. That could mean
the Army can get a fix on our location by tracking its signals.
I’ll leave the jammer on for now in case it slows my people up
though. Always lots of things I don’t know for sure that’d make big
differences.”

Nerber gave a little faked cough and asked,
“Do you think I will be well treated and not just autopsied if
captivated? That is what your entertainment shows are about in some
times.”

“Forget that trash, the alien autopsy shows
were faked. It is true that humans...” Krinkle lost his train of
thought as he glanced toward the stores, then leaned forward for a
better look, a concerned expression darkening his face. Two dozen
scared people were milling around inciting one another to something
but were too far away for him to hear them.

* * *

Regimentator almost drove right past this
shopping center but she stopped and pulled in when she noticed
activity that might yield salable photos, even if not the big item
ones she was looking for. A panel truck marked
Sisboom Fireworks
Company
had malfunctioned on the highway here and the young
driver had barely been able to pull into the parking lot before it
died completely. He got out, kicked a tire in his frustration, and
stood there calling for instructions on his cell phone.

The mob of several dozen fear-crazed people
stumbled silently and steadily toward the truck and its driver like
the zombies in half a dozen films he had seen. Only the blood
dripping from their mouths was missing but when he looked around
and saw them he feared that touch might be about to be added. He
screamed and ran for his life, darting across the highway to put
distance between him and them, hoping that being hit by trucks
might slow them up.

But those people wanted the wares in the
truck, not him or even a snack. The truck seemed like a God-send
since a radio talk show guest had just repeated the claim that
nearby explosions would make any aliens visible “as their true
selves”. A few did the math and the others did what they always did
and followed without bothering to question or think for themselves.
Firecrackers would produce explosions; explosions would reveal the
enemy among them; no enemies among them meant safety.

Reggie stood near her car and happily took a
bunch of photos as those people opened the unlocked truck and
hauled out boxes of firecrackers. With no news vans in sight she
had an exclusive on this story until the inevitable phone camera
pictures surfaced but she would beat those to the paid punch by
actively hawking what she had. A digital camera with a zoom lens
was such a good investment.

She looked around for other elements to fit
into the story. As the line of tractor-trailers that were partway
down the large lot drove away they exposed the view of mostly empty
parking area – and a car that looked familiar. She focused her
camera on that and used the zoom lens to get a better look at the
occupants. Yes! She had found crazy Krinkle and his special
buddy.

And the mob with explosives looking to deal
in the good old American way with invaders was more than she could
have hoped for. She needed to get into position to take lots of
clear pictures of the alien being dragged from the car by the mob
and probably killed right here. She verified that she had two more
memory cards for the camera ready in her fanny pack since there
should be a ton of great reaction shots if that slaughter was as
gory, gross, or unexpectedly dangerous as she hoped. This day would
make her rich and therefore so very happy.

Regimentator moved close to a parked semi
where she expected to be safe from the mob without inhibiting them.
She muttered, “Oh yeah, let the alien elimination event begin!”

* * *

In the car Nerber asked, “Are you detecting
anything new or that seems significant, Wilburps?”

“Uncertain is my proper response,” the zerpy
said. “The signals to send messages to the home planet being secret
with them piggy-backed are back. Is for true a word here as some
hints seem to make of it a maybe
piggy-backed
?”

“Yeah, it means one on the back of the other
so they act like a single unit,” Krinkle said.

Wilburps said, “There are jumbled all
together bits of comments and conversation that I will save and
process for to analyze if they make sense when close up examined
but at this time they are only chit-chat with no meaningful
information. Some from
Whizybeam
, some from Ormelex. All
maybe are about you but do not have the likeliness they were
intentioned for you to know of.”

“What can that mean?” Krinkle asked
Nerber.

Nerber said with a shrug, “Plots and playing
the games. Several groups make the profiting from me being here.
Each has the desire to get the most of benefitting. It is for
satisfying a nastiness only that each makes the trying to reduce
the profiting of the others.”

“Gotcha. Business as usual. Screw the others
even if it doesn’t help your own position.”

At that moment Nerber was violently jerked
around. His reaction and expression made it clear he had no idea
why. He had leaned against the jammer as he tried to see out all
the windows but he now moved as far as he could from that device
since that was what had moved and taken him with it.

Krinkle saw that vigorous movement in the
rear-view mirror but interpreted it as this very foreign species’
shiver of fear so he didn’t mention it when Nerber didn’t. The man
did ask, “What’s the latest on the radio news, Wilburps? Can you
pick up a local station?”

Wilburps replied, “There are reports of
people blowing things up after someone said this will make any
aliens among them visible as their true selves.”

“What means this
blowing things up
? It
is huffing like into those balloonies?” Nerber asked.

At that moment a large firecracker exploded
near the mob in the near distance as they all watched one another
carefully. They then shook hands and embraced since they felt they
had proven none were aliens hiding among the group undetected.

“That's
blowing things up
,” Krinkle
said. “The destructive, explosive part, not the relief.”

Wilburps announced, “There is garble from
afar but I am unable to make sense of it.”

The mob noticed the occupied car and headed
for it. A man threw a firecracker this way and they all hesitated,
staring.

Not satisfied by that test the mob continued
this way.

Nerber scrambled out saying, “That space
garble could be the producers trying to trigger my self-destruct.
Or these
blowings up
could do that. Gotta go.”

He pulled Wilburps from the back seat. A
small stack of loose old newspapers on the seat came with the zerpy
but Nerber ignored those in his state of near panic.

Krinkle thought about driving up to the mob
to distract them but changed his mind when they began to shout and
shake their fists in the air. He jumped out to wave off them from
this spot shouting, “It's okay. No problem. Be cool.”

He was startled and confused when everyone in
sight stopped and stared at him. At least they had stopped shouting
and making threatening motions.

As the people pointed at him and made
comments he couldn’t hear to one another, he wondered what that was
about. Then he looked down at his special costume of the day and
muttered, “Uh oh. To them I don’t look like a geek, I look like an
alien or his promoter. Note to self, keep two changes of plain
clothes in the car at all times.”

Not everybody in the area was fixated on the
scare of the hour though. The truck Regimentator was hiding behind
as she eagerly took pictures pulled away, leaving her out in the
open.

Krinkle cringed aside but held his ground
when a thrown firecracker exploded in the air some yards away.

He glanced quickly behind him to try to see
where Nerber was taking shelter without focusing the mob on the
alien. But Nerber could hardly have been more conspicuous. Seeing
people running this way from several directions now, he grasped
Wilburps in his arms and turned in a circle, at a loss about where
he could escape to.

As he scrambled partway into the back seat of
his car Krinkle said to himself, “Maybe the jammer’s still keeping
some of their stuff from working. Maybe if I turn it off they can
beam him up or whatever they do.”

He flipped the switch which turned the device
off. It fell back onto the seat which made him aware that it had
been hovering several inches off it. “Whoa, I don’t know what that
means but I’ll have to ponder it when I have some leisure time.
That is if I survive to ever have any of that again.”

In full panic now Nerber grabbed Wowseyla off
his hat and touched it to Wilburps as he turned in a full circle
looking for a safe route away from here. After a moment Nerber
twitched as if feeling something happening to him. He pressed
Wowseyla to the side of Wilburps, then released Wilburps so the
zerpy wasn’t touching him but was hovering at the height it had
been.

A large lit fire cracker landed near Nerber
and the pile of loose paper that was sliding slowly along the
ground in the slight breeze so it was accidentally staying near
him.

There was an explosion and a puff of smoke
and shredded paper. Instantly Nerber and Wilburps were gone without
a trace.

Krinkle ran over and dropped to his hands and
knees frantically sorting through the paper debris for pieces of
the visitors but couldn’t find anything he recognized. “Did the
self-destruct device he was worried about do this? Did he trigger
it himself rather than be taken alive? Always the damned questions
I can’t answer. I should stop thinking about interesting stuff,
it’s too frustrating.”

Beyond him the mob backed away, unsure what
had happened but determined not to accept any responsibility if it
was bad.

Krinkle was startled when Regimentator came
running at him shouting. “You spoiled the biggest money shot! You
were in the way so I couldn’t focus on it right when it went kaput.
I’m gonna make you pay for always interfering you stupid...”

Now it was her turn to be startled. Krinkle
shouted and pointed at her, “There she is. My magic suit worked.
This outfit is designed to attract alien beings and she’s the one
who went to a lot of trouble to find me, unable to help herself, a
slave to her alien nature. She’s the invader! Catch her and turn
her over to the Army.”

She thought that claim was pretty lame until
she glanced around and saw the mob rapidly reforming – and
definitely focused on her. The fact that Krinkle continued to run
at her and shout to attract attention had some effect too.

Two large lit firecrackers were thrown in her
direction as more people rushed over to join the group intent on
saving the planet from invaders who looked as pathetic as this
one.

Realizing what the thrown items were, she
turned her back and braced herself. The firecrackers exploded close
enough to shake her.

Now she was pissed off and she wasn’t one to
take any abuse quietly. She turned to let out a verbal blast. She
found three dozen people moving at her, some going to the sides
with the obvious aim of boxing her in. Many of them carried tire
irons, cans of Mace, and other items that would give them at least
a fair chance in a fight. In a mob scene they definitely would
prevail.

She turned and ducked as two more
firecrackers came flying at her. Those explosions momentarily
stopped the mob, who weren’t dumb enough to walk in front of such
things. The fact that the only obvious effect of the near
explosions was to make her cringe bothered some of the attackers.
They started to whisper among themselves, which stopped the whole
operation since few were willing to go closer except under the
guise of being part of a group decision and effort.

If anyone noticed that Krinkle had stopped
some distance away to watch but not participate they didn’t point
that out to the others.

Regimentator made a tactical decision. From
the sounds of their sirens police cars were getting close so there
would soon be an official effort to restore order. As long as she
stayed intact until then she would be okay. But as the one accused
of being an alien invader she could expect to be taken into custody
to protect her, if for no other reason. The Army would inspect her
and her things. That meant they would inspect and then confiscate
her camera and the pictures on the memory cards.

The best way for her to protect her
moneymakers was to step away from them for the moment. She hated so
much to sacrifice the pictures she could be taking of the rabid mob
closing in on the object of their fear and hate but since that was
herself she didn’t have a lot of choice. She had to move fast, the
nearest assailants were almost close enough to start swinging hard
things at her.

Regimentator knew a few things about
misdirection so she jumped at the group and shouted, “Boo!” That
had the intended effect of momentarily stopping them in
confusion.

Then she broke into a run, heading for her
car. She made sure her camera and all the memory cards were in her
fanny pack, then she unhitched that from around her waist as she
ran.