Far-out Show (9781465735829) (26 page)

“Right,” Gopgop agreed. “Then no one cares
that their mouths aren’t making the sounds being aired. That means
what’s said can be twisted to suit the situation. Start out with
some sloppiness and you have less trouble faking it later.”

“This next is what they proposed to air but I
said no for now. They can go this way later if that seems best but
I’m worried that they could ruin things by going too fake too
soon.” He tapped a button on the control panel and two Ormelexian
fighters, their heads crudely digitally altered to look somewhat
like the dog and Billings, appeared on the screen. Each eyed the
other with distrust.

The dog-substitute lifted its leg at the
man-substitute but before it could do more, that other kicked at it
while growling out a typical Ormelexian fighter’s challenge.

In response the dog-substitute suddenly grew
to the size of a tiger and attacked the other. It was pretty clear
that the dog’s head and coloration were now crudely superimposed
over old footage of a local kind from Ormelex that had been used as
fighters for a time in the past.

Exactly like way too many such encounter
aired over the years, the individuals on screen fought with the
same moves and the same audio of growls, Ormelexian taunts and
curses, and shouted voice-over commentary intended to make it sound
like what was going on was a lot more exciting than it was. A
crawler note at the bottom of the screen apologized for the poor
video quality which it blamed on distortion due to the transmission
through a snaggiewarp.

“At least they’re training the audience to
accept poor quality faked crap from the start,” Gopgop said.

On screen an armored robot-like thing
appeared out of nowhere and separated the combatants with a
gesture. Those two backed off but continued to glower at one
another as well as the poor quality graphics would allow. The voice
over said that the two seemed like they would harbor grudges so
this might not be over and the audience should watch for notices
about rematches.

“It’s all standard. What don’t you like about
it?” Gopgop asked.

“That it’s being offered as new and
different. From our point of view as a potentially profitable new
kind of show it’s supposed to offer more that the same old stuff in
even crappier form than when it was originally aired. On average
the audience is fickle and dumb, but enough of them recognize when
what’s offered is at least a rough approximation of what was
promised that they can turn away in big numbers real fast when the
hype is too far from the reality. The history of the industry is
littered with examples of companies that didn’t learn that lesson.
Off-planet challenge shows could be big-big but junk like this
right at the start won’t let us see how big-big.”

“What do you recommend?”

“I’m okay with what they did air, it’s this
filler stuff I don’t want them to include until it’s clear the show
and the whole genre are going downhill fast.”

“Okay, I agree. We’ll send them that message
right away.”

“It’s taken care of,” Uldene said.

“Before you consulted with me about it?”

“I told them earlier that the restriction on
what they could air and still have our support would be in place
until I told them otherwise. I didn’t send any other message so
they know where we stand on this.”

Gopgop considered pursuing this matter to
make it clear he wouldn’t tolerate being shut out of important
decisions.

Uldene continued, “The Fidgewidge Group are
splitting up. They couldn’t agree on which projects to back so they
missed the chance to buy in early when there would have been the
highest profits. They won’t be competing with us after all.”

“Which means we have no additional rivals for
now.”

“Unless the latest shows we’re backing don’t
take off big and soon. We’re fixers and innovators so we fill an
essential role in society even if there are those who don’t like
that things work that way. Oh, and we know whose pockets to fill to
stay on top. That’s part of the equation too,” Uldene noted.

A synthesized bell clanged to get their
attention before another section of the view-screen came on showing
a female standing outside the door to this room.

“Who’s she?” Gopgop asked.

Uldene topped a button and asked, “Who are
you? What do you want? And how did you get past building security
without being cleared and announced?”

“I am Parbam. With an important message from
the governors. I am also impatient about being kept waiting.”

“This could be trouble,” Uldene said. “She
must be official and high-placed if our security guys let her in on
demand without going through the routine screening procedures.”

Gopgop tapped in code on his control panel
keyboard, then nodded he was ready for the visitor. “Just to be on
the safe side I’ve turned on the hidden zerpy in the wall to record
every word and twitch of her sort-of-cute nose.”

Uldene tapped a button and the door
opened.

Parbam, a middle-aged female with split ends
on her head spikes and a purple tint to her feet, entered and
strode to where the men sat. She carried what looked like an
attaché case except that it didn’t open. Without looking around she
asked, “Do you have any zerpies recording us? Be sure of your
answer.”

Uldene stared at her, trying to read her body
language. What he saw was confidence that she was authorized and
able to do what she was doing.

Gopgop barely suppressed a smirk as he said,
“No recording of this meeting - at your command. Zerpies be
gone.”

She didn’t even glance at him as she touched
several spots on her case in sequence as she said, “Only the one
I’ll make. For the official records. Are you certain you don’t have
a active zerpy here? In your pocket for instance?”

Gopgop was starting to enjoy this. “Not a
one.”

Parbam touched a spot on her bag and there
was an explosion within the side wall that blew a hole right
through into the room. That brought the two males to their feet in
a hurry.

Parbam shrugged as she said, “Your mistake.
How fortunate for you that the zerpy that seems to have hidden
itself here in your work space without you knowing it wasn’t closer
to you. Like in your pocket. I’m here as a representative of the
governors who will be concerned to hear about this failure of
security in your headquarters.”

“How did you do that?” Uldene demanded.

“Some technologies are restricted to keep the
governors a step ahead. When we say ‘no unauthorized recording’ we
mean we’ll prevent that, not just that we ask you not to try
it.”

Gopgop stared at two zerpies hovering in
plain view but facing away at the moment.

“Sproingy can be highly selective. In this
case I only care about active zerpies set to record. And not mine,
of course.”

Uldene was so interested in this point that
he forgot to hide that fact. “This technology is called Sproingy?
What all can it do?”

“That’s only my pet name for it,” Parbam
said. “You won’t learn anything useful researching the term as a
technology system, a maker, or an activation code. But I’m sure
you’ll waste time doing that anyway. I went to some trouble to meet
with you today without anyone else knowing about it because the
message is important but it’s essential to keep it off the chatter
and rumor lines.”

“No, no. Tell us about this fascinating
technology before you go off on other things,” Uldene
persisted.

Her response was her withering stare combined
with a sneer of contempt for his lack of self-control and subtlety.
She said, “Make certain you keep the planetary exploration and
untested space exploration ship aspects of the new challenge show a
secret or pay a heavy price. The governors are worried that you two
or one of your hirelings will brag about the wrong things. You may
say too much and therefore need to be publicly shown to be in
error. To be very clear, you two are personally responsible for any
leak from anyone in your company. To consider the consequences of
failure, think back on what was done to others who over the years
were publicly shown to be in error.”

“Some of those individuals didn’t survive the
punishment.”

“More didn’t than is generally known, Gopgop.
Be prudent and take this warning very seriously.”

“Okay, warning duly noted,” Uldene said. “We
appreciate the reminder from the ever busy and so important
governors. Before you go, can I get a closer look at your device?
Is that it or is it inside a shell either for protection or to
disguise it? That’d be an interesting way to carry it around.”

“No, you may not have a closer look and I
strongly recommend you don’t have any zerpy in this building try to
probe Sproingy. You won’t learn anything more useful than that such
a probe won’t work but will put you on the list for punishment for
doing something prohibited.”

Uldene turned to his keyboard and typed as
fast as his fingers would go. He said, “Let me open the door for
you but first I’ll check that there’s no one who might see you
leaving who’d wonder who you are or why you’re here.”

Gopgop got the unspoken signal that it was
his job to distract Parbam for a moment so he asked, “Have you been
working as a special representative of the governors for long? It
must be an interesting job.”

One of the two hovering zerpies behind
Parbam’s back slowly revolved halfway. Then it disintegrated there
in midair, raining down a pile of powder as all that was left.

Without looking behind her Parbam said,
“That’s was your second violation. There will be consequences for
both of you.” She marched to the door - that opened for her and
closed behind her.

“
Flinflup
, she could even control the
door without seeming to pay it any heed. That Sproingy thing’s a
must,” Uldene said. “We have to learn all about it and get one at
almost any cost.”

“While we worry about when and in what form
our punishment will come. The governors aren’t known for making
idle threats or promises,” Gopgop said. He looked unhappy and
unwell.

Delmus and Ackack sat back in their chairs in
the A.D.U. office looking at the view-screens where several poor
quality images of various early stages of human pornographic film
actions were displayed.

Ackack said, “It's taken the techs a long
time to decipher enough of the weak signals to put this much video
together.”

“Why are they covered like that? What are
they doing?”

“The chief tech thinks they're actually
un
-covered and this is their porno,” Ackack replied.

“That's what they look like under their
coverings? Ugh. That'd take a lot of getting used to. But what are
they doing? Where did that part come from? I didn't see it at
first.”

“Apparently they do it, well, in a very
different way. It's hard for us to even imagine it since they're
bodies are so weird that they can do things we simply don’t because
we can't.”

“Which one has the egg come out?”

“We haven't figured that out. The point right
now is that this means the challenge to get physical with a
creature on the other planet simply isn't possible.”

“When do they rub their bellies together to
make it happen?” Delmus asked.

“They don't. At least not in these.”

“Then how does it work?”

“We haven't figured that out,” Ackack
admitted. “The thing to decide is whether to let the contestants
know about this so they won't try to do anything with one of the
aliens.”

“Of course not. It obviously can't happen but
it might be gross and diverting but still amusing, to watch them
try. If it gets the contestant in trouble with the locals that
means even more thrills for our audience.”

“I hoped you'd agree. I'll tell the techs to
keep the
Bang-Boom Shows Certificated
guys in the dark about
this too.”

Delmus pushed some buttons on the control
panel and brought up the image of
The Far-Out Show
hostess
winking at the camera. He freeze-framed that.

Ackack looked up and noted, “Yeah, the show
launched well. Maybe too well. We made a huge profit on the first
airing and its now many repeats.”

Delmus muttered to himself louder than he
realized, “You know, I really find this hostess interesting. She’s
kinda cute and she works for us so maybe...”

“Focus, Delmus. Our success with the first
episode means we'll be reduced to bitter tears if we can't keep
that money train rolling along. We need follow-up. And soon.”

“How much material do we have and how far can
we stretch it?

“Not enough however much it is. The audience
appetite is vast even if it is frustratingly demanding and fickle.
But there's money to be made and influence to be had so we'll do
anything we can to keep them numbed into compliance. The techs have
a new segment spiced up and ready to show. Let's see what they
did.”

Ackack tapped a button on the console and
Nerber appeared on a screen section talking with street-walker
Ipanema on the park bench. It was obvious that they were not
speaking the words that were being broadcast and that this has been
cut together by less-than-seamless editing.
Edited, Altered, and
Augmented by A.D.U
. appeared at the bottom of the screen.

“You looking for to maybe lay an egg, Bub?”
Ipanema asked in the Ormelexian version of a sultry tone.

“What an odd and strange thing to ask,”
Nerber replied. “Of course. What purple-blooded male of our kind is
not ready to do that any time it can be done?”

“It's all just words until you make me want
to do it with you. Can you do that? You have to tell me if you do
if I ask or you cannot take me. I know the rules.”

“What was the question again?”