Far-out Show (9781465735829) (33 page)

Gopgop sighed, “Ah, for surely true I need a
pick-me-up after so much worrying.” After a moment he continued,
“Keeping those new developments in mind I propose we split the
differings. That's a tactic that has served us well over the years.
We take more control of A.D.U. but not full control. We increase
our profits in all areas but make it easier to shift blame to the
guys in nominal charge there if things fall apart.”

“Plus that will make it easier for us to sell
off our part of the company in a hurry to the amateurs always eager
to buy into whatever's the fad of the hour. I'm glad you suggested
this, Gopgop. I was thinking the same thing but didn't know if
you'd be receptive.”

“I'm seeing the governors later at a social
thing not a formal meeting. I'll tell them we support their
planetary exploration program but we can't keep their role in
things secret if there's a crisis. I know how to make subtle
threats.”

“You've dealt with them many times so you
know how to read them to decide how to proceed. As long as they
don't try to keep us from profiting as much as we can without
taking a big risk it'll be good.”

“Also when word of my mentioning this gets
back to the A.D.U. guys, as it will, they'll recognize that we
intend to leave them in nominal charge with a suitable piece of the
profit for their efforts so they should decide not to try to
undermine us,” Gopgop said.

“They know they're gonna be blamed if there
are big problems but if they cooperate we can soften the impact on
them. They know how things work. They're likely busy themselves
setting things up to shift the blame to someone else.”

“Meanwhile we're supposed to do something to
quiet the masses before they go into riot mode. Any
suggestions?”

“I do have an idea. We should use our
company’s position for what it lets us do. Here’s what I
propose.”

* * *

Gopgop, looking stern and concerned, sat in
front of a wall with “Power Players” in large letters on it as
background. He faced a hovering zerpy that was broadcasting his
message.

“As consultants to the governors, we Peepees
have been asked to confirm the accuracy of the claims being made by
the Amuse and Distract U Company about the true origin of their
current super hit, don't miss it program
The Far-Out Show
.
There are unsubstantiated and really silly claims by guys who
aren’t willing to put their names on them that the show that was
aired wasn’t for truly real recorded on a far away alien planet as
claimed but right here on Ormelex. As if any Ormelexian could even
hallucinate up a place so strangely and confusingly unlike anything
any of us has ever seen and then somehow fake making it as the
setting. We would like these doubters to explain to the rest of us
what all that stuff is that fills that whole world.

“Anyway, the confusion caused by this silly
rumor has disturbed the peace of our society so we are hereby
asking in a semi-official and semi-formal way that A.D.U. produce
reassuring evidence of the origin of the material to reassure
everyone that the contestants in their smash hit challenge program
are indeed interacting with members of an alien kind on another
planet far from our galaxy. The governors have techs standing by
who can examine the transmissions, contact the producers, or do
whatever is needed to resolve this matter so we can all get back to
enjoying the excitement of something never ever seen by anyone on
this, or possibly any other planet.”

Gopgop made a gesture and the zerpy revolved
away, then floated away. Uldene slid over to him in his own chair
and said, “That covers us. We lent our name to the process, calling
for clarification as if the A.D.U. guys don't know that's needed
while also plugging the program so the few who haven't tuned in
will do now so to see what the fuss is about. If it crashes we look
like we did what we could to warn of trouble, but if it stays big
we're obvious promoters fully deserving of the profit we make from
it. Jeepers but we Peepees are clever!”

“The pros at A.D.U. will easily show that the
material came at first from deep space. They only need to avoid
talk-talk of any other problems. Good job. The governors are
calmed; we're satisfied; A.D.U. is sort of okay. All good work on
our part.”

Delmus and Ackack paced their A.D.U. office
side by side, their feet flapping loudly on the floor.

“Having been a tech I know that area,” Ackack
said. “All I found down there suggests we're getting all the
transmissions coming from Hasley's bunch or that planet.”

“I'm pretending I'm not worried, but the
consequences of the contestants or zerpies being captured would be
major,” Delmus said.

“The governors insisted on drastic measures
in return for them funding the new show but you never expect to
have to do the crazy stuff you agree to. It'll ruin us forever if
this goes bad because the inhabitants of a far away planet are more
alert and capable than the governors' official reports
indicated.”

“Yet saying that the miscalculation was
theirs more than ours will only get us in deeper trouble. I know
it's politics and they're never fair but I'm still gonna whine
about it.”

Both got more and more excited, their feet
flopping even when they are standing still.

“We need to turn this around,” Ackack said.
“Make the worry an opportunity. Turn what might become a disaster
into... an exciting show about a possible disaster! But of course!
Go public with the newest twist on intergalactic reality shows. The
vicarious danger isn't just to a few eager fools, it affects the
future of everyone in the paying audience. Who will dare miss out
on the very latest news about whether the Earthlings have taken our
superior equipment hostage?”

“Yes! I love it. We don't reveal the
governors' underlying agenda but we emphasize, oh heck we
exaggerate, the consequences of those creatures being able to
contact us directly while they're still in an early stage of
developing technologies.”

“Once the masses are hooked on what is to
happen next, the governors can't come down on us without everyone
knowing. Including the unfairness of blaming us for what we had no
way to control.”

“What a twist,” Delmus exulted. “Our
competition, all those production and distribution companies,
become our protection because they won't pass up the chance to get
audience share with the latest on any move to punish us for telling
the masses what's truly going on even if the governors would rather
hide that. Therefore the governors are better off cooperating with
us to assure there's no real story for the competition to bother
with. We could hardly have made this up better ourselves. Maybe a
bit, but hardly.”

“But this has the same downside we're already
worrying ourselves pink about. As soon as we air any report about
this we need rapid, regular updates. It seems that in this new
reality of reality entertainments the audience has no
patience.”

“We've created a monster. How do we get it
under control?”

“It'd be risky but we could make it up as we
go. If from the first image it's all being recorded in a setting
right here in this building we can control what the audience sees
as well as what they're told about it.”

“I see the possibilities but it leaves us too
vulnerable. It takes a lot of guys to create programs like that and
they all talk-talk. If we did that we'd give the competition a
story that'd take attention away from the one we want them focused
on precisely because it'd be played up to make the masses suspect
we're faking it, which we would be. Why tune in to us when you know
we're openly lying?”

“I know schemes are never simple and
straightforward but I get dizzy going through so many twists and
turns.”

“It comes down to assuring us of a steady
stream of reports on what's happening or just keeping quiet,”
Delmus said.

“Missed opportunity, but it keeps the
governors happy. Well, happy that the masses don't know what's
going on but not happy if the hardware is in danger of being
captured. Isn't anything simple anymore?”

“Fortunately no or we, who can always seem to
find ways to profit from whatever's happening, wouldn't prosper.
Focus, Ackack, what do we need to do?”

“I hate that's it's this way but only getting
a guaranteed almost continuous feed of material from the
Bang-Boom
guys solves most of the problems. That still
leaves the possible captures by the alien creatures to deal with
but as we've noted there are ways around our risk in that.”

“I agree with your analysis. I hate being at
the mercy of Hasley and his bunch but I don't see a better
alternative.”

“I expect the
technical difficulties
will disappear if we sweeten their deal. I don't like being in this
position but I've learned to accept what I have to do in order to
get as much as I can of what I want.”

“Spoken like one who's succeeded, not merely
survived. We'll work out a specific offer and then contact
them.”

“We can console ourselves that we're putting
it to them in a bunch of the details so we're still the biggest
winners. Let's do this before things fall apart even more,” Ackack
said.

A harsh tone sounded and Techim appeared on
the view-screen. “What now?” Ackack said. “If she’s using the
annoying signal she has news we should hear right away.”

“Happy news can usually wait a while,” Delmus
said and touched the button to make the connection.

Techim showed no emotion as she said, “There
is no actual competition on the far planet.”

Not sure what that meant, the others didn’t
react.

She continued, “I tested the all points
onboard listening system to see if they were still blocking it and
heard a bit of conversation among the producers before their
interference system kicked in. Nerber is the one and only
contestant on the planet. Apparently after one contestant was lost
in transit the other two refused to use that system. Clearly there
is only one Ormelexian and his zerpy on Earth.”

“Is this widely known among our techs?”
Delmus asked.

“Two heard about it on the recording and
alerted the supervisor. There’s no way to know how far the word has
spread by now. It’s very likely that threats made to the techs will
signal that it’s true or at least that you believe it,” she
replied.

“What are you suggesting?” Ackack asked.

“Leak it that you think this is a joke or the
producers’ attempt at misleading you in order to squeeze
concessions from you. Let others think you’re not taking the idea
seriously and they’ll be less likely to whisper about it to
others,” she said.

“An interesting idea. How do you suggest we
do this leaking?” Delmus asked.

“You entrust that task to someone like me,”
she said.

The bosses exchanged nods and Delmus said,
“Consider yourself entrusted, Techim. Keep us informed about any
talk about this topic outside our space – or anything else
relevant.”

“Of course,” she said. The screen
blanked.

“It just doesn’t stop,” Delmus moaned.
“Problem after problem that could destroy what we’ve made but if we
can keep things secret we can stave off disaster for at least a bit
longer and maybe permanently. The uncertainties make me want to
flap somebody silly with my feet.”

“Get control of yourself. This could destroy
everything but it doesn’t have to. If we handle things right we can
come out of this intact. For now the facts are contained so our
challenge is to figure out how to make the best use of this before
we let the audience find out. We got this far because we’re clever.
That fact justifies our profit from it all. Now we need to earn the
continuing profit from
The Far-Out Show
.”

“Sooner rather than later we have to tell the
governors. We won’t survive if we leave them looking like fools.
But no one else needs to know for now. Since we learned about this
by accident we really don’t know it, only the producers do. We have
someone to blame. The first step of business dealings is covered.
We must shift our thinking but with this warning we can be ready
when we have to go public with the news.”

“Sooner than that we do have to talk to the
governors though. Luckily we have a meeting scheduled so we won’t
attract extra attention asking to talk-talk right away,” Ackack
said.

“So first we decide how and how much to tell
them.”

“And what not to say. Like no joking about
public executions as distracting entertainments. Don’t plant any
ideas that might come back looking for us,” Ackack said.

* * *

Later as Delmus and Ackack entered their
A.D.U. office Ackack said, “I was afraid the governors would openly
threaten us and make a lot of trouble but they were actually
helpful.”

“They're at least as worried as we are,”
Delmus noted. “Maybe even more so - which should probably make us
more worried too. My assistant said there’s a message from the far
away
Bang-Boom
producers.”

He brought up a worried-looking Feedle on a
view-screen. She said, “Sorry you weren't there when I made contact
since we wanted your advice. It's not certain if contact with those
at Earth will ever happen again. The planet's inhabitants are
searching and turn out to have more advanced detection systems and
weapons than we were told. It seems likely that this ship with its
guys and zerpies will soon be found.”

The message started to break up, the
interference and distortion got progressively worse. “We have no
way to know if we'll be captured or simply destroyed. Should those
whose lives are at stake try to surrender or must they die in a
possibly ineffective effort to keep the hardware out of the aliens'
grasp? Uh oh, this is worse than I expected so soon. It seems
that's not a decision they get to make after all.”