Faster Deeper (Take Me...#2) (New Adult Bad Boy Racer Novel) (14 page)

“You realized who he was, but you continued to see him?” Dad
asks.

“Well, yeah,” I say, “We were enjoying each other’s company,
and I didn’t think there was some ironclad rule about not hanging out with
other teams and drivers. Enzo flirts and sleeps with others team’s members and
groupies all the time. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this is not an
unprecedented thing, me and Harrison. At first, I thought this would just be a
little season-long fling, a couple of dates under the radar, no big deal. I
didn’t think it was worth making a big deal of, back when I thought it would
just be a casual little thing.”

“But then the spat between Davies and your brother
happened,” Dad goes on.

“Exactly,” I say, averting my eyes from Enzo.

“And you still didn’t break it off with him,” my brother
says, “Even after you saw that there was bad blood between us. Even when you
knew that I couldn’t stand the guy, that he was a good-for-nothing son of a bitch.
That was weeks ago, Siena. And you’ve been carrying on with him all this time,
doing god knows what—”

“Why not?” I cry, “Why should I have broken it off with
Harrison after your little playground squabble with him? Why should my life be
dictated by your every whim, Enzo? That’s how we’ve done things since we were
kids. The entire family’s always revolved around you. My
life
has always
revolved around you. Excuse me for putting my own wishes before yours. Excuse
me for following my heart, just this once.”

“Can you even hear yourself?” Enzo laughs meanly, “
Following your heart?
Please tell me you’re joking. He’s using you, Siena! He’s using you to get to
me, to boost his own reputation. Stealing away a Lazio from Team Ferrelli would
make him look like the biggest badass to ever hit F1. He’s not your knight in
shining armor, he’s not your soul mate, he’s a dirt bag. I thought you were
smarter than this, Siena. I never thought you were the kind of girl who’d be so
fooled by a pretty face. You’re lucky that someone sent me those pictures so
you can finally understand what’s at stake if you don’t back off.”

“I know full well what’s at stake,” I tell him, my entire
body vibrating with anger, “I saw those pictures long before they arrived on
your phone.”

A moment of silence falls heavily upon the hospital room.

“You...knew that someone had those photos? Since when?” Dad
asks quietly.

“Since Budapest,” I tell him, “An unknown number sent them
to me after Harrison won there. I—”

“You didn’t say anything. Even then?” Dad asks.

“No,” I tell him, “Because at that point, I was honestly
considering calling it off with Harrison to protect us. All of us.”

“But instead, you’ve put all our reputations, all of our
careers in jeopardy,” Enzo says, “You think anyone will be able to take you
seriously if this comes out? You’ll just be another one of Harrison Davies'
girls.”

“I don’t see it that way,” I say crisply.

“Bullshit,” Enzo says, “I call bullshit, Siena. You know
that everyone will think of you as just another F1 slut if they find out you’ve
been sleeping with—”

An agonized cry rips out of Enzo’s throat as the back of my
hand collides with his bruised cheek. I stare down at him where he sits on the
hospital bed, clutching the side of his face and looking up at me in surprise.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that,” I say, my voice full
of fire, “I’m not your employee, Enzo. I’m not some sniveling, know-nothing
little girl. I’m your sister. I don’t need you to look out for me, I don’t need
you to tell me how to live my life. I don’t even need your approval. I wanted
to tell you about this so that we could figure out how to get past it as a
family. Clearly, you’re not capable of thinking about this like an adult. Your
little stunt—”

“There is no getting past this,” Enzo tells me, standing to
tower over me, “You kept this from us. From your own flesh and blood. You knew
that your fling with Harrison Davies would hurt us, and you kept it up behind
our backs. With everything that’s going on with the tour, everything Dad’s
going through? How could you be so selfish?”

“I kept trying to tell you,
wanting
to tell you” I insist, “But how could I bring this up, after we found out that
Dad...That Dad’s...”

“Dying,” my father finishes my sentence, “You can say it out
loud, Siena. You’re going to have to learn how to soon enough.”

His frank words cause Enzo and I to fall silent, retreat to
our own corners of the argument once again. For a moment, the three of us sit
without speaking, struggling to find light in this dark hour. Suddenly, our
close knit family seems so far apart. This is the first time in my entire life
that I fear I’ve isolated them forever. No spat or disagreement has ever been too
huge for us to overcome together, but this...?

“You and Davies have both been suspended from the next
race,” my dad finally says to Enzo, “Word came while you were still coming to.
That kind of behavior has never been permitted on the track. And you know that
full well.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Enzo says, shaking his head, “It was
Davies who instigated—”

“Don’t you dare,” I mutter.

“Might as well hunt down a silver lining if we can. This
will give us some time to come up with a statement about my condition. That has
to come out eventually, after all,” Dad goes on, “We can say that you were upset
about the news, Enzo, and that’s why you lost your cool today. Distract from
the real issue at hand. No need to go public about Siena’s indiscretions.”

“Indiscretions?” I say, incredulously, “Dad, is that really
what you think?”

“It is, Siena,” he tells me sadly, “I don’t know a better
word for your actions. You’re not some naive little waif. You knew that this
could ruin us.”

“But why does it have to be like that?” I plead, “We’re just
people, at the end of the day, all of us. Don’t you think it’s ridiculous to
let this sport control our lives like this? Why do you two have to hold onto
some insane grudge against Harrison? He’s really a good person, and he cares
about me. That should be enough for you.

“Unless you’re in love with this person,” Dad interrupts, “I
don’t see how you could even think of...” but he trails off, seeing the look on
my face that I’m trying so desperately to hide. “Siena...No,” he says.

“You can’t possibly have fallen in love with Harrison
Davies,” Enzo says, his anger giving way to bafflement, “That’s absolutely
impossible. He’s the furthest thing from your type in the world.”

“I don’t know what else to say,” I tell them, “I just wish I
could make you understand. I’m not trying to hurt you, or betray your trust, or
double cross the team. Ferrelli has been my family my entire life, and I love
you both and Mom more than anything in the world. But I...I love Harrison too.
Completely. I don’t think that I can bear to say goodbye to him. That is the
truth I’ve been keeping from you. That’s what I need you to know, above all.
And ultimately, that’s what I need you to accept. Because if you can’t
understand that, and be happy for me...Well. I just don’t know what I’d do.”

My dad crosses the room and takes my hands in his. His eyes
soften, and he suddenly looks about ten years older. There’s a stirring of hope
in my heart, an almost imperceptible flutter. Is he about to give me his
blessing, and end this nightmare once and for all?

“Thank you for being honest with us,” he says, “I do
appreciate it, Siena. Even if it’s far too late.”

“What do you mean, too late?” I ask softly.

“I know you think you love this person,” Dad goes on, “But
he almost got your brother killed today. He’s not a good man, Siena. I could
never condone your being with him. That’s
my
truth. If you insist on carrying on with him, against my clear wishes...I don’t
know how I could accept that. Forgive you for that. I’m not sure how we could
even go on working for the same team, if you were to betray us like this. I
know that’s not what you want to hear, but—”

I don’t stick around to hear anything else. Before either of
them can stop me, I tear out of the hospital room, back into the maze of the
floor. I will my tears to retreat back into my eyes, refusing to cry over my
family’s stubborn unwillingness to respect me—to respect that love that I’ve
managed to find in this world. It’s not worth it. I should have known better
than to think that they’d suddenly think enough of me to let me make my own
choices. To them, I’ve never been anything but a little girl. A helpless little
girl. But that’s not me, anymore. And they just have to accept that.

Instead of turning back toward the room I woke up in, where
Bex is probably still waiting for me, I set off deeper into the mess of rooms and
hallways that make up the hospital. Despite my family’s warnings and
criticisms, there’s only one person I want to see right now. One person who can
remind me of who I really am.

“Excuse me?” I say to a passing hospital employee, “Can you
tell me where Harrison Davies’ room is?”

The orderly jabs his thumb to the right, and I take off down
the nearest hallway. A door at the end of the linoleum stretch is open just a
hair, letting out a thin sliver of bright light. I all but sprint down the
corridor, stopping to peer through the crack in the door. Sure enough, Harrison
is lying in his bed, attended only by his best friend, Andy. The sight of
Harrison lying there catches me like a blow right below the ribs, knocking the
wind out of me. A deep gash runs across his eyebrow, just barely missing his
eye. He looks to be sleeping, more or less in one piece. But seeing that
dynamic, powerful body so still and spent is almost too difficult to bear.

Slowly, I push open the door. Andy looks up and smiles, just
a little sadly. He rises to his feet and crosses the room, laying a comforting
hand on my arm.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he tells me. “I’ve been sitting with
him since they got him stabilized after the wreck. He was asking for you,
before he fell asleep. Don’t worry, nobody heard but me.”

“How is he?” I ask Andy, sidling into the room and closing
the door behind me.

“Well. He’s been better,” Andy says, managing a small laugh,
“Smacked his head pretty good, but the safety equipment held up, for the most
part. He’s sitting the next race out with your brother. I guess they really
don’t take kindly to horseplay on the track. That should be enough time to
heal, at least anyway. Any sprains or bruises will take care of themselves.”

“But no permanent damage?” I ask.

“Not unless you’re including the blow his ego,” Andy says.

“Could I maybe...have a minute with him?” I ask.

Andy’s face clouds with indecision. “Someone could see you,”
he tells me, “It doesn’t seem like the best idea, Siena.”

“I know,” I say, “But I have to talk to him. If someone
happens upon us, I’ll say I’m here to apologize from Team Ferrelli for Enzo’s
behavior.”

“Not sure if anyone would believe that Enzo Lazio was
apologizing,” Andy scoffs. “After that stunt he pulled today, I’m not sure why
anyone would give him the benefit of the—”

“Be careful. That’s my brother,” I say, “He may be a
hotheaded asshole sometimes, and he might be the most stubborn man to have ever
walked the earth, but he’s still family.”

“Don’t worry, I know a little something about that kind of
loyalty,” Andy says, eyeing Harrison pointedly. “I’ll leave you two alone. Make
it somewhat quick, though. I’ll stand guard at the end of the hallway, make
sure no media types wander in here. Only doctors and nurses, I promise. OK?”

I nod as Andy makes his way out of the room. Stepping
lightly, I cross the space and settle into the chair beside Harrison. For a
moment, I simply let my eyes rest on his gorgeous face. By now, I know the
sight of him sleeping so very well. He usually looks so peaceful when he’s at
rest, like a greek statue in repose. But now, even as he lies still, I can
sense that he’s in pain. Unbidden, so many memories starring this beautiful
face come to mind: the first time I laid eyes on him, the first time we fell
asleep beside each other, the first time he told me that he loved me. We’ve
been through so much already—I refuse to let this be our last memory together.
With a deep breath, I lay my hand on his muscular, tattooed bicep and give a
gentle little squeeze.

“Harrison?” I whisper, “Baby, can you wake up for me?”

His eyelids flutter just a bit, and I can’t help but smile.

“Harrison, it’s Siena,” I go on, “Please wake up.”

With much effort, he manages to crack open his eyes, peering
up at me in the bright fluorescent light.

“Siena...Am I dreaming?” he asks groggily, “No...You’re not
wearing a rubber nurse’s uniform and carrying a whip. This must be real life,
after all.”

“Always with the jokes, this one,” I say, brushing the
blonde hair off his forehead and planting a kiss there. He winces a little as
my lips brush the skin beside his cut.

“Got a little banged up, I guess,” he says.

“No kidding,” I reply, “Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Not too much, actually. They’ve got me on pretty good
painkillers. Hope I didn’t scare you too badly back there.”

“I may have passed out for a minute,” I tell him, “It wasn’t
exactly the easiest thing in the world to watch. But right now, I’m far more
worried about you.”

“You kidding?” he laughs, “I’ve been in bar fights that’ve
messed me up more than this.”

“Remind me never to frequent bars with you again,” I say
dryly.

“I hope that’s not a serious suggestion,” Harrison replies,
“You know how much I enjoy taking you out on the town.”

“I don’t know if it’s a real suggestion,” I tell him, taking
his hand in mine, “Harrison, what happened this afternoon...it was my fault. It
was all my fault.”

“What do you mean, Siena?” he asks, “That’s crazy. How could
it—?”