Fated (14 page)

The house was silent again and I let myself fall apart, sobbing into my pillow.  I wanted to run after him and tell him not to leave, that I loved him and that I wanted him to stay.
 
I knew it was too late to beg, although my pathetic mind and heart didn't care.

They wanted him too.

***

Waving, I watched as Anna's car disappeared down the driveway.  I'd stayed at her house for another day in seclusion when I finally realized I couldn't hide away in her house forever, even as tempting as the thought sounded.  I had to resume something that resembled a life and deal with the fallout with Stefan.  He'd come back and I'd told him to stay out of my life.  I couldn't risk letting him back in to hurt me again.

Standing alone in my driveway, my eyes glazed over as I remembered my conversation with Anna the morning after Stefan had barged into her house.

“Look Josie, I don't know what you're doing but I do know that man loves you,” Anna said, her eyes sharp and probing.  She tapped her fingernails against the wooden table. “I don't get in your personal life often and you know it.  You're making a big mistake.  Huge.”

I grimaced at her words.  “I'm not going to be with someone that disappears for days with no explanation and then just walks back in, thinking I'm going to just be okay with that, Anna.  Would you be okay with that?”

Her mouth twisted into a cynical smile. “No, but let’s not turn this into what I’d do and wouldn’t do.  Your situation is different.  He told me he had no choice.  You should at least let him explain.”

“Are you new here?  I don't want to hear it,” I argued.  “He chose to leave with no explanations.  No phone calls, no note.  Nothing, Anna.  Maybe he had a fling with someone else and then felt guilty. I don't fucking know and I really don't want to find out.  I'm not going through this over and over.  A relationship with him isn't worth going through this.  I don't do drama.”

Anna sipped her coffee silently.  She nodded and reached over to pat my hand.

“I know you're hurting.  Stefan is hurting too.  You know and I know you can't avoid this forever.  You love each other.”  Her smile was gentle.  “Don't let go of someone you love because you've decided to be a stubborn bitch.”

“I think we're done here, Anna.  Don't you have to go to work?”

I drew in a deep breath as I snapped back to reality.  Maybe it was time for me to move on from Bali and make a fresh start.  How could I even think about starting over when I'm still in love with an immortal vampire?

Squaring my shoulders, I walked slowly up the steps to unlock the door to my house.  I opened the door hesitantly, walking in and closing the door quietly behind me.  I pressed my back against the smooth wood and felt tears sting my eyes.  This was going to be the hardest part.  I was going to see the ghost of Stefan in every corner and see a memory of him in every room.  I bit my lip, wondering how I was going to find the strength to do this.

Dropping my bags by the couch, I forced myself to do menial tasks to keep my mind occupied.  I ran the vacuum, dusted and scrubbed the counter tops.  I went to the dryer to grab the clean sheets, making quick work of smoothing them over my bed.

I was pulling up the comforter when I noticed a sliver of something white under the table by the bed.  It was the corner of a piece of paper and was barely visible unless you really concentrated on looking at it.  I bent over to pick it up and my hands shook when I saw the familiar, elegant handwriting on the paper.

Josephine-

I know I should wake you, however you are sleeping so beautifully that I cannot bear to disturb you.  I must fly to New York to deal with emergency Council business.  I will be back as soon as possible.  I promise to explain everything in detail when I return.

Eternally yours,

Stefan

The note slipped from my fingertips and my eyes blankly watched the paper flutter to the floor.  For a moment, I was frozen in place and my mind went completely numb.  I shook myself and wildly ran the length of the hallway, fumbling with my purse to find my phone.  I somehow managed to dial his number with shaking fingers.

“You have reached Stefan Lifsten.  Leave a message after the tone.”

“Stefan.  It's Josie.  Please call me.  I'm sorry.  Please...call...” I choked into the phone. “I..I just found your note.  I..I didn't know.  I'm so stupid.  So very fucking stupid.”

Pressing 'end', I tossed my phone on the couch.  I was angry at myself for not even giving him the chance to explain and assuming the worst.

All I could do now was wait and hope that Stefan was forgiving of idiotic women.

**

I was sitting cross legged on the bed with my laptop propped on a pillow, attempting to work on my latest book without much success.  I was typing when I heard the sound of car tires turn onto the gravel of my driveway and watched as headlights flashed across my bedroom wall.  Swallowing nervously, I placed my laptop on the floor with shaking hands and listened to the sound of a car engine turning off.

I hurried down the hallway and opened the front door, swallowing back the sob that threatened to break free when I saw Stefan leaning against his car.  His hands were shoved into the front pockets of his jeans and when he turned to face me, our eyes locked.  The pain I saw in his eyes drew me to him and for once in my life, I didn't stop to think.

I forgot about my bare feet as I ran over the sharp gravel to him.  I collapsed against him, fisting my hands in the back of his t-shirt and burrowing my head into his broad chest, finally letting go of the sob I'd been holding in.  He pulled me roughly to him, our bodies reconnecting and molding together as if we'd never been apart.

“Josephine,”  he spoke in a broken whisper, the simple sound of his deep voice causing tears of relief to spill from my eyes.

“I'm sorry, Stefan.  I didn't know.  I didn't find your note.  I…”  I mumbled against his chest.

“Shh.  No more talking right now.  We would not want Georgia to come over, would we?” Stefan whispered mischievously in my ear.

I laughed weakly, remembering when I was the one telling him not to talk.  It seemed like a lifetime ago to me.

“I'm sorry.  I should have let you explain,” I whispered, looking up into his blue eyes.  “I love you.  I don't want another minute to pass without telling you.”

“As I love you, vackra.  It is a misunderstanding.  This is the part where I forgive you and we move on.  I think I read that is what one does in a situation like this.  It was good advice from a cheesy romance novel, yes?”

I pulled my head away from him to look into his eyes with disbelief.  He was going to just forget all the horrible things I'd said to him and act as if nothing had happened?  Why was it so easy for him to love and forgive me?

Being forgiving of stubborn, idiotic women must be one of his super powers.

He gazed into my eyes and a wry smile pulled at the corner of his lips.  In one fluid movement, he leaned forward and covered my mouth with his own.  His lips were hard and hungry against mine, causing a slow burn of desire to curl through me.  I moaned softly into his mouth and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

He reluctantly pulled away, pressing his forehead against mine lightly.  His voice was soft when he began to speak. “There is much we need to discuss, Josephine.”

“When did you become the serious, level headed one, Romeo?”

My mental response seemed to amuse him.  Deep laughter rumbled in his chest as he picked me up and carried me into the villa.  He sat down on the couch and cradled me in his arms, my head resting against his shoulder.  He lowered his blond head to lightly touch his cool lips against mine in a chaste kiss.

“It is not a super power, Josephine.  I love you and I want no one else but you.  For me, it is simple. There is nothing to forgive, it was a misunderstanding. 
I
should have told you that I was being forced to go instead of leaving you a note. 
I
could have called you to explain.”  He exhaled a slow breath, his eyes narrowing dangerously.  “Fucking vampire bullshit.”

“I could have listened that night at Anna's house.  I was so angry and hurt, Stefan.  The thing I feared the most happened the morning when I woke up alone and had no idea what happened to you.  I thought you left me...” I said, my voice lowering in distress.  The memories of our time apart flashed through my mind and the sense of abandonment I felt was still fresh and was painful to think about.  His body tensed and flinched underneath me as he read my thoughts, the link between us resonating with pain.

“Let me explain to you what happened the morning I left.  You were sleeping and I received a text message from a member of the Administrative Board.  One of the Council members was acting carelessly and his behavior was threatening to expose our existence.  That is what you would call a 'no-no' for us.”  His voice was bitter and his lips were set in a thin line.  “As an Enforcer, I had to convince Derek it was in his best interest to not continue his actions.  We finally reached an agreement.”

“An Enforcer?” I questioned. What does an Enforcer's job entail?  Does he pull their arms off if they don't agree with his way of thinking?
 
I found myself getting aroused thinking of Stefan shirtless and ripping arms off of vampires, the muscles flexing in his arms with his effort.

“It does not usually get that severe.  It requires persuasion and at times a nudge in the right direction.  It helps to be able to see their true intentions.” Stefan smirked and tapped the side of his temple wryly.  “This is my life, Josephine.  Until the night I found you, it was extremely dark. You must understand that at any time I might have to leave again.  When the Administrative Board places you in a position you do not get to choose.  It is considered to be an honor by most.”

I nestled closer against him, pressing my lips against Stefan's neck in a gentle kiss.  I ran my nose over his skin and inhaled the musky scent of him. “I take it you don't feel that way.”

“No. I do not.”  He turned his head to gaze at me, a smile breaking over his face that didn't reach his eyes.  “I briefly considered not coming back to you while I was away.  I am selfish and could not stay away from you.  You are my fated, Josephine.  Your soul pulled me back to you like a moth to a flame.”

I felt my eyes go wide as I sat up to straddle his lap, anger building inside of me as I placed my hands on each side of his face. “Hold on for a second.  You considered not coming back?”

Stefan sighed and his shoulders sagged.  His eyes looked ancient and tired, the usual sparkle gone. ”I love you more than I can possibly explain to you.  If I could spare you any pain, I would gladly do it to see you happy.  I considered the possibility that you might be happier without me in your life.  Yet here I am.”

“I'm happy with
you
.  When you were gone, I felt like part of myself was missing.” My eyes searched his, smoothing my thumbs over his cheekbones and down the side of his face. “No more doing what you think is best for me, Stefan.  My feelings should at least be considered.  If we're going to do this, we have to communicate.  And that means me too.”

Stefan nodded, his face clouded with uncertainty.  My mind was suddenly flooded with a barrage of his thoughts.  His mind was focused on the night when I angrily told him to leave, my voice bitter and spiteful.  It was difficult to watch myself through his eyes, seeing my face contorted in anger.  I shivered when I felt his pain and turmoil as he recalled the memories with crystal clarity.  I grimaced at my own words that echoed in his mind, '
Save it for someone who cares.  Just fucking leave.'

I started to move from his lap, stopped only by his iron-like grip on my waist.  I was ashamed that he'd come back to explain and I'd pushed him away with my refusal to listen. 

Anna was right when she told me I was a stubborn bitch.

“I know now that is not true, Josephine.  Do not do this to yourself.  Not when there are so many things I would rather do to you right now,” Stefan murmured, his voice brushing over me like velvet.

The smooth tenor of his voice, deep and sensual, sent a surge of need throughout my body.  His blue eyes caressed my face, giving me a sexy smile that sent my pulse racing.  His fingertip traced lightly along my cheekbone. “I missed this, vackra.
Jag har saknat att vara med dig, din jävla.
”

“Your Swedish is sexy, Stefan.  Translation please,” I whispered, my panties flooding with wetness as he spoke to me in his native tongue.  Between the Swedish and his sexy talk, I was amazed that I had managed to stay dressed.

He chuckled and his hand cupped the nape of my neck and brought our faces inches apart.  His lips moved against mine as he spoke, his voice a lilting caress. “I simply said I missed being with you, fucking you.  When I call you vackra, it means beautiful.  And you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my long life.”

I let an out a hoarse cry when his mouth covered mine fiercely, his tongue exploring the recesses of my mouth. 
We shared long frenzied kisses, our tongues teasing and our teeth nibbling
.  His grip was tight as his hands held me against him

“I thought I had lost you, Josephine.  Seeing you that night...”  His mind trailed off as he raised his mouth from mine, looking deeply into my eyes.