Fated Memories (9 page)

Settled back in her seat, she felt the train lurch forward. Within moments, the city of her birth disappeared as the New York Central, its loud whistle blasting out a warning to both man and beast, made its way down the tracks. As the train picked up speed, she tried to close her mind to all that had happened since she arrived in Boston. The cruel pain cutting into her heart could not to be born alone. She would wait until this nightmare could be put behind her and she had the loving arms of Hattie wrapped around her, before allowing herself to face the awful truth.

Closing her eyes, she thought about home, as a feeling of longing so strong she felt her heart break rushed over her. In an effort to protect herself, her thoughts flew back to an earlier time, when a beautiful red-haired baby had first arrived in her world.

Chapter Five

Cut Bank, Montana, 1887

Bright streaks of lightning flashed across the dark Montana sky, followed by low rumblings of thunder far off in the distance. As the storm gathered strength, so did a small woman in the ranch house below.

The pains worsened. At first they seemed no more than a nagging bother, but as the first rays of dawn crept into the room, she could no longer ignore their presence. Pushing back the covers, she got to her feet, standing for a moment until a sudden wave of dizziness started to subside. As she reached for her robe lying across the foot of the bed, she felt a warm gush of liquid run down her legs to soak the small rug and plaster her nightdress to her already shivering body. With mounting fear, she made her way to the bedroom door to call out as loud as she could.

“
Hattie! Hattie, help me. Oh god, please, help me.”

Unable to stay on her feet any longer, she felt herself sliding to the floor. As if in answer to her prayers, she heard the creaking of the floorboards as her housekeeper, dressed in a black and gray woolen robe, lumbered down the hallway towards her.

“
Fo’Gawd’s sake, Miz Charlotte, whut you doin’ layin’ on dat flo’? Come on now,” she grunted, reaching her ponderous arms around Charlotte’s waist to lift her to her feet. Feeling the wet nightgown, she breathed, “Land sakes, Miz Charlotte, you done soiled yo’seff.”

“
The baby’s comin’, Hattie. I been havin’ pains off and on all night and just now when I came to get you, my water broke. You need to tell one of the hands to go get Doc Nebinger,” she panted as her stomach tightened, gearing up for another onslaught of pain.

“
Sweet Jesus, Ah doan know what’s ter do.” She wrung her hands as she stared toward the bedroom window. “It’s blo’in an po’in sumpin’ awful outside. Ain’t nobody gwing ter goes fer de doctah in dis storm, Miz Charlotte.”

“
Then we’re gonna have to deliver this baby on our own.” With Hattie’s help, she made her way towards the bed.

“
Won’t be de first time fer dat. Ole Hattie’ll brings dis youngin’ in ter de world.” She lowered her deep voice to a more soothing tone, as she lifted the soiled gown up and over Charlotte’s head, before easing her into a sitting position on the bed. “Doan you worry none.”

“
I know you’ll do just fine, Hattie. The thing worryin’ me is this baby’s a little early. I’m afraid somethin’ might go wrong.” She snuggled beneath the covers.

“
Ain’t nuthin’ gwing gos wrong. Dat ole doctah jes figured wrong’s all. W’en de good Lawd sees fitin’ ter sends you a youngin’, dat’s w’en you sees fitin’ ter haves it. Now, you jes’ hesh, whilst Ah goes an’ gits things ready. Ah be back in a jiffy.”

Alone with the sounds of the raging storm and the wind beating against the shutters, Charlotte could feel her terror mounting. The oil lamp on the nightstand flickered, casting eerie shadows that danced and undulated across the bedroom walls, and calling to mind the stories she had listened to as a child. Chilling stories of witches dressed in black, stirring their fiery cauldrons and waiting to devour those unfortunate enough to be caught and thrown into their foul-smelling concoctions. She tried not to panic as she waited for Hattie’s return.

With a start, she sat up, as a loud clap of thunder crashed through the semi-darkness.

“
Hattie! Hattie, where are you!?” she screamed, her heart thudding in her chest.

“
Ah’s right hyrah, Miz Charlotte, an’ Ah got eve’ything we’s gwing ter need.” Hattie set a large deep bowl down on the small wash stand. From the pocket of her dress, she withdrew a spool of heavy thread and a pair of scissors. Cutting two long pieces of thread from the spool, she put them, along with the scissors, into the bowl. Withdrawing a bottle of rubbing alcohol from her other pocket, she unscrewed the cap, pouring the entire bottle over the items in the bowl. With the tasks completed, she turned to check on Charlotte.

“
Ah hopes you doan mine. Ah gots mahseff dressed. Jes’ in case wust comes ter wust an’ Ah needs ter go gits one of de han’s ter goes fer de doctah. How’s you feelin, chile?” Hattie brushed the deep auburn hair back from Charlotte’s flushed forehead.

“
I’m all right.” She eyed Hattie’s clean black dress with the freshly starched apron and the ever-present swatch of white linen she had tied around her head. She glanced down at her own shivering body. “I need a gown, Hattie. I’m too cold for a bath, but at least get me a clean gown to put on. I’m so wet I’m chillin’. Get one of my old ones outta the…” She drew in a sharp breath as yet another pain washed over her.

“
Lawd! Lawd! Dis youngin’ ain’ gwing ter let nuthin’ stan’ in its way. Fo’ dis day’s obber, you’s gwing ter have a baby ter hole ter yo’ breast, Miz Charlotte.” The massive shoulders shook with laughter. As she waited for the pain to subside, Hattie went over to the dresser to get a fresh gown.

“
Yes, that’ll do.” Charlotte lifted her arms for the gown Hattie held ready for her. “How in God’s name do women have so many babies when it hurts…so…bad?”

“
Da doan members de pain.” Hattie rolled her to one side, pulling the gown down, as far as she could. “All’s da kin think ‘bout is dat lil youngin’ da’s holdin’ in der arms.” Placing her arms beneath Charlotte’s legs, she lifted her and, with one quick yank, pulled the gown the rest of the way into place. “De good Lawd wipes away all de pain outta der memory, sos da kin bes ready fo’ de nex time.” She flipped the covers back up over her.

“
I won’t ever forget this, Hattie. No matter how long I live, I won’t forget this.”

“
I gots a feelin’ dat’s gwing ter be up ter Mister Eathen.” The springs squealed in protest as Hattie seated her huge bulk on the side of the bed. “Now dat he knows you kin gives him youngin’s, he’s gwing ter wants a whole passel of dem.”

“
Then he can have the rest, `cause I’m never goin’ through this torture again. Oh God,” she cried, beating her small fist against the coverlets, “ain’t there anything we can do to hurry this along?”

“
Ain’ nuthin’ Ah knows of.” Hattie shrugged her shoulders in defeat. “Dis bein’ yo’ first, it gwing ter tek a w’ile.”

“
I wish Eathen was here!” Charlotte moaned deep in her throat. “Why ain’t he here? I need his strength!”

“
Ah knows it bes hard widout yo’ man hyrah by yo’ side, but dis ain’ no place fer a man, Miz Charlotte. Why, effen Mister Eathen wuz hyrah, he’d jes’ be weahin’ out de rug.”

“
He could at least go for the doctor!”

“
Ah doan think we needs no doctah. Ah’s birthed youngin’s befo’. W’ite youngin’s, too. W’en Ah’s a slave, in Miz’cippie. Doan you fret, Miz Charlotte, we bes awright.”

“
Don’t be angry with me, Hattie. Not…now. Oh God, I’m so scared.” Her eyes grew large with the knowledge she was trapped with no way to run from the pain. “I want Eathen. I want Doc Nebinger. I want this baby to stop rippin’ me apart!” she sobbed, as yet another pain gripped her already tortured body.

“
Ah knows it hurts, Baby Chile, but you’s gwing ter weahs yo’seff out cahyin on dis way.” Hattie tried to soothe away Charlotte’s fears, as best she could. “We’s gwing ter git thoo dis jes fine. De Lawd woan gives you mo’ dan you kin tek. Jes trust in him, chile, an eve’thing bes awright.”

***

By evening, Charlotte wasn’t sure anything would ever be all right again, as the awful pains refused to let up. Outside the storm continued to rage, beating a demanding admittance against the shuttered windows, vying for the attention of the two harried women inside.

“
Miz Charlotte, you needs ter lift yo’ hips so Ah kin put sum dry towels unner you. Affer dat, we’s gwing ter have ter use sheets. You’s done gots eve’thin’ else soaked ter drippin’.”

“
Yes, Hattie.” Charlotte did as she was told. “Whatever you say.”

Straightening up, Hattie shook her swathed head in bewilderment, as she stared down at the disheveled woman trying so hard to rid herself of her agony. Placing her hands on her ample hips she declared. “Miz Charlotte, Ah doan means ter scares you, but it peers ter me you’s tekin’ too longs ter have dis youngin’. Mout be it’s tuhned wrong. Dat be de case, Ah’s got ter try’n tuhns it. Ah’ll try not ter hahm you, chile, but Ah’s got ter look’n see whut’s gwing on.”

“
Please, Hattie, do whatever you have to. I…can’t…take much…more,” she panted.

Being as gentle as she could, Hattie examined the frail woman watching her, her dark blue eyes shadowed with pain. Within moments, Hattie had her answer.

“
Well, dat splains dat!” She stood up straight.

“
What is it, Hattie?” Charlotte stared up at her. “What’s wrong?”

“
Dis lil bugger’s gots its shoulder in de way’s, whut’s de matter. You jes’ lays quiet, Miz Charlotte. An’ doan push. Whutever you does,” Hattie cautioned, holding up her hands, “doan push!”

Hattie spread Charlotte’s trembling thighs and, with a quick prayer, she ignored the screams bursting forth to do what had to be done. Almost at once, the baby crowned.

“
Awright, Miz Charlotte,” she declared, standing back out of the way. “You kin push now.”

With all her might, Charlotte bore down, pushing the tiny child the rest of the way into the world. Hattie wasted no time in tying off the umbilical cord. After checking to make sure the first tie-off was far enough forward from the baby’s navel and the second tie-off was spaced far enough ahead of the first, she took up the pair of scissors to snip the cord between the two.

As Hattie continued to work, Charlotte slumped back on the bed, letting her muscles relax, too tired to even inquire as to the sex of her newborn, and she breathed a sigh of relief she didn’t have to feel any more pain. Sure of her own and the baby’s safety in Hattie’s competent hands, she stretched her tired legs out straight, being careful not to bump the baby lying between them. She was about to close her eyes and give into her body’s need for sleep when she remembered her body still had more to do. Lifting her head, she looked around to find Hattie. Her eyes flew open, all thought of sleeping forgotten, as she saw Hattie holding her newborn infant upside down, one large hand holding onto the tiny ankles, while her other hand slapped the baby a good smack across its bare bottom.

“
Hattie! What in the name of God are you doin’!?”

“
Gittin’ her breaf gwing. De best way ter do dat’s swat’s her on de butt. Now dat she’s hollerin’,” she slipped her empty hand up behind the tiny neck and in one fluid motion cradled the infant in her arms, “we kin see ‘bout gittin’ de afferbirth outta de way.”

“
I don’t know if I have the strength to do anymore.” Charlotte slumped back on the bed, forcing herself to take deep breaths.

“
Alls you have ter do’s give a big push w’en Ah tells you. Affer dat, Ah kin git you cleaned up.”

Too weak to argue, Charlotte forced herself to be patient a while longer.

Later, bathed and wearing a fresh gown, Charlotte lay with the baby cradled in her arm. The glow shining from her damp eyes as she gazed upon her newborn daughter brought a light chuckle from Hattie.

“
Now wuzn’ she wuth all de trouble? Come nex year, Mist’ Eathen be wantin’ a son,” Hattie ventured.

“
I already told you, Hattie, I’ll never go through that much pain again. I meant what I said. If he’s set on havin’ a son, he’ll sire it with someone other’n me.”

The sharp cry of the baby interrupted anything Hattie had to offer in the way of a reprimand.

“
Ah’ll go fix her up a sugar-tit ‘til yo’ milk comes in. Right now, all’s you gots is mos’ly water an dis youngin’ bes hongry fer mo’n dat.”

“
I know you’re upset with me, Hattie, but Eathen will have to understand. I’m thirty-three-years-old and Eathen’s thirty-six. Accordin’ to Doc Nebinger, we’re too old to be startin’ a family.”

“
Dat doctah doan know nuthin’.” Hattie pursed her lips in a disgusted frown. “You’s not too ole fer havin’ youngin’s. Ah had mah fust an las’ chile w’en Ah’s jus’ a year oler’n you. De good Lawd tuck her w’en she wuz still a babe in mah arms.”

“
I’m sorry to hear that, Hattie.” Charlotte glanced up at her. “You must have been heartbroken.”

“
Yes’m, Miz Charlotte, Ah tru’ly wuz.” She stood there for a moment, deep in thought. “Dis might be an awful thing ter says, but Ah’s almos’ glad she daid. She’d been sold, jes lak her ma. Dis way, kain nobody ever hu’t her again.”

The sadness in the big woman’s eyes as she shared this pain tugged at Charlotte. After all the years they had been together, she thought she knew everything there was to know about her. Now, as she watched Hattie standing there, Charlotte glanced down at the baby she held in her arms and realized how much she had taken for granted.