Fear (June Hunt Hope for the Heart) (3 page)

• People with abnormal fear are not as afraid of the object of their fear as they are of the symptoms of their fear.
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  And, indeed, their fear is great. They experience the same feelings that Job had.
  

“Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by the wind, my safety vanishes like a cloud.” (Job 30:15)

Gideon will gradually come to realize that
God’s call to a person is never dependent on that person’s strength or ability
. God’s call is always determined by His own plan and power, and we are asked to respond with faith in His strength. The more Gideon comes to believe that God will give the Midianites into his hands, the more he is able to go forth in complete faith and follow God’s plan for the future. Though initially afraid, he moves forward in faith!

Fear can paralyze or mobilize. Gideon could have been paralyzed by doubting God, by fearing that the problems would never change, or by wallowing in his bottom-of-the-rung status of being
“the least in my family.”
Negative doubt-filled messages could have played over and over in his mind. If that had been the case, his response to being addressed as a
“mighty warrior”
would have been, “
Mighty warrior?
—not a chance!”

Like Gideon, we all experience times of anxiety, but not all of us experience it in the same way, for the same reason, or to the same degree. Typically, we want to avoid anxiety “like the plague”!

However, anxiety is not to be feared, but to be understood and to be used as a prompt to trust in the Lord all the more.

The Bible advises ...

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (John 14:1)

• Moderate anxiety
  —normal, fearful concern—can be healthy and helpful.
  
  • It motivates us and leads to increased efficiency.
    
  • It forces us out of our “comfort zone.”
    
  • It helps us avoid dangerous situations.
    
  • It can cause us to live dependently on the Lord.
    

  Notice that the psalmist, who put these words to music, turned his focus to the Lord:
  

  “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
  (Psalm 94:19)
  

• Intense anxiety
  —abnormal fearful obsession—is more profound and problematic.
  
  • It makes our concentration difficult.
    
  • It causes us to be forgetful.
    
  • It hinders our performance.
    
  • It blocks our communication with others.
    

  Notice that Solomon—called the wisest man on earth—said ...
  

  “Banish anxiety from your heart.”
  (Ecclesiastes 11:10)
  

Q
UESTION: “I have had a number of panic attacks and thought I was going to die. How can I overcome my irrational fear of death?”

A
NSWER:
You can experience peace—a lasting peace—when you realize that you have absolutely no control over the moment of your death. Based on the Bible, God has already determined the
exact number of your days
on earth. Therefore, face the fact of your death head-on.

Say to the Lord ...

• “I choose to trust You with Your perfect plan for my life—and my death.”
  
• “I yield my will to Your will.”
  
• “Thank You for giving me Your perfect peace.”
  

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

Q
UESTION: “How can I overcome my overwhelming fear that my children might die?”

A
NSWER:
Unquestionably, your children will die. The question that no one can answer with certainty is
when
. That is, no one but God. Realize that God knew and ordained the length of each of your children’s lives before they were formed in your womb. This means that your fear is
not beneficial
—it can’t change anything because the length of each of our lives has already been established by God.

However, what is beneficial is this:

• Praying that you will be Christlike before them
  
• Praying that you will draw them to the Lord by the life you live
  

“Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” (Job 14:5)

What causes Gideon—the man God destines to be one of the greatest leaders in history—to fear the army God promises to defeat? There are two major reasons: Firstly, Gideon lacks military experience, and secondly, he has lived under the oppression of the savage Midianites for seven years. These facts alone are enough to cause Gideon to doubt God’s declaration of war against the Midianites.

God’s next charge, however, would leave anyone completely paralyzed with fear. Gideon is to go against an army
“thick as locusts”
(Judges 7:12) numbering 135,000 (Judges 8:10). And he is to do this not with an army larger than Midian’s, not with a comparable army of the same size, and not even with his present small army of 32,000—just one-fourth their size—but with a drastically reduced and much, much smaller army! And why? The Lord specifically states, so that,
“Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her”
(Judges 7:2).

God gives Gideon an unimaginable directive: Those who are fearful can return home. Instantly, 22,000 men are eliminated! While these men had enough faith to fight, they did not have enough faith to fight fearlessly—something God required of Israel when going into battle. The fundamental principle? Ultimately, fear contaminates faith. (See Deuteronomy 20:1–4, 8.)

Now only 10,000 remain in Gideon’s ranks. Then God states what seems absurd:
“still too many men”
(Judges 7:4)!

Situations that evoke
no fear
in some people are the same situations that evoke
great fear
in others. What makes the difference? Perception! The
perception
of the person feeling the fear. Notice that Gideon is not one of the fearful men who return home! His perception has begun to change! Your perception of a situation affects both the
degree of your fear
(how much fear you will feel) and the way you will
respond to your fear
(what you will do because of the fear).

Fear is a natural human reaction to feeling threatened—either physically or emotionally—in these three areas: love, significance, and security.
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• Your Love from Others Feels Threatened.
  
  • Primary relationship: “If I lose my marriage partner, I don’t know what I will do or how I can go on living.”
    
  • Talents and abilities: “If I don’t do well enough, I’ll lose my friends. Then I’ll be all alone.”
    
  • Physical attractiveness: “If I start looking older and put on weight, I will lose the affection I need so badly.”
    
  • Position in a relationship: “If you spend time with other people, then you don’t really love me.”
    

  Your Solution
  : Learn that you are loved by the Lord beyond measure.
  

  “As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.”
  (Psalm 103:11)
  

• Your Significance Feels Threatened.
  
  • Identity: “If I lose my position at work, I will lose all that I have worked to achieve. Then what reason will I have to live?”
    
  • Self-esteem: “If I embarrass myself in front of people, I will never be able to go back there—I’ll be too ashamed.”
    
  • Reputation: “If anyone finds out about my compulsive habit, I’ll lose face with everyone.”
    
  • Self-fulfillment: “If I don’t complete my goals, my life will be a failure.”
    

  Your Solution
  : Learn that you are so significant that the Lord chose to save you and has planned the future for you.
  

  “God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The L
  ORD
  , the L
  ORD
  , is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.”
  (Isaiah 12:2)
  

• Your Security Feels Threatened.
  
  • Financial security: “If I don’t do well on this presentation, I might lose my job. Then I won’t be able to support myself or my family.”
    
  • Physical safety: “If I drive too far from home, I might have an accident and even possibly be killed.”
    
  • Physical health: “If I am not really careful about what I eat—or even touch—I may get sick. I could literally die!”
    
  • Possessions: “If I lose my home, I will have nowhere to live, and I won’t be able to survive.”
    

  Your Solution
  : Learn that your security is in your personal relationship with the Lord.
  

  “In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
  (Psalm 56:11)
  

Fear does not appear “in a vacuum.” Just as Gideon’s seven years of terror at the hands of the Midianites set him up to be fearful, something set you up to be controlled by fear, and something serves to trigger that fear. The setup occurred in the past, while the trigger occurs in the present. Finding the truth about your past fearful setup will provide
wisdom
as to why you are being controlled by fear in the present.

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” (Psalm 51:6)

• Former Fear-Producing Experiences
  
  • Traumatic experiences
    

    —Childhood sexual abuse or rape
    

    —Tragic accident
    

    —Divorce or the death of a loved one or a cherished pet
    

  • Scare tactics used on you by others
    

    —Threats of violence by a parent
    

    —Threats of violence by siblings
    

    —Threats of violence by others
    

  • Underdeveloped sense of self-worth
    

    —Neglect, criticism, or ridicule
    

    —Poor school performance
    

    —Lack of musical, artistic, or athletic abilities
    

  • Parents or family members who displayed excessive fear
    

    —“My aunt had a panic disorder.”
    

    —“My father was a constant worrier.”
    

    —“My mother was fearful and overprotective.”
    

  Realize the reason for your fear and tell yourself the truth about both the past and the present.
  

  “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”
  (1 Corinthians 13:11)
  

• Emotional Overload
  
  • Denial of your own feelings
    

    —“I must suppress my pain.”
    

    —“I must deny my disappointments.”
    

    —“I must reject my anger.”
    

  • Excessive need to please people
    

    —“I must keep everyone from getting angry.”
    

    —“I must keep everyone happy.”
    

    —“I must have everyone at peace with me.”
    

  • Internalization of stress
    

    —“I have a lot of hidden anxiety.”
    

    —“I fail to admit stressful situations.”
    

    —“I have no outlet for venting my emotions.”
    

  • Strict or perfectionist parents or authorities
    

    —“I never pleased my parents.”
    

    —“I never was good enough.”
    

    —“I received harsh punishments.”
    

  Realize the reason for your fear and let the Lord help you heal from your emotional hurts.
  

  “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
  (1 Peter 5:6–7)
  

• Avoidance of Threatening Situations
  
  • Refusing to face your fears
    

    —“I minimize my fearfulness.”
    

    —“I think it will go away in time.”
    

    —“I think that I can avoid fearful situations.”
    

  • Giving no opportunity for change
    

    —“I don’t seek help or talk to anyone.”
    

    —“I don’t try to figure out why I am fearful.”
    

    —“I don’t try to learn to confront my fear.”
    

  • Continuing to reinforce your fears
    

    —“I accommodate my fears rather than challenge them.”
    

    —“Everything I do is contingent on my fearfulness.”
    

    —“I don’t go anywhere that might raise my anxiety level.”
    

  • Reinforcing your negative thought patterns
    

    —“Fear dominates all of my decisions.”
    

    —“I evaluate everything through the filter of fear.”
    

    —“My thoughts are dominated by fear.”
    

  Realize the reason for your fear and let the Lord help you face your fears.
  

  “I am the L
  ORD
  , your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
  (Isaiah 41:13)
  

• Runaway Imagination
  
  • Expecting life to be threatening
    

    —“I always expect hostility and hatred.”
    

    —“I always expect resistance and roadblocks.”
    

    —“I always expect danger and disaster.”
    

  • Assuming the worst will happen
    

    —“I always assume rejection and ridicule.”
    

    —“I always assume hurt and heartache.”
    

    —“I always assume frustration and failure.”
    

  • Believing you can never change
    

    —“I have given up thinking my life will ever be good.”
    

    —“I think I will be controlled by fear forever.”
    

    —“I don’t believe God can or will help me.”
    

  • Thinking you have no control over the situation
    

    —“I am overwhelmed when I experience fear.”
    

    —“I am powerless when I experience fear.”
    

    —“I can’t think clearly when I experience fear.”
    

  Realize the reason for your fear and replace the lies you are believing with the truth.
  

  “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
  (Philippians 4:8)