Fear (June Hunt Hope for the Heart) (6 page)

In spite of his enormous initial fear, Gideon eventually accomplishes the supernatural in the power of God because he believes in the promises of God and acts on them in faith. At first, he sees himself as a weak thresher, but God sees him as a
“mighty warrior.”
Then, as Gideon takes God at His word and acts out of faith rather than out of fear, his faith in God grows, his courage as a warrior grows, and finally he comes to see himself as God sees him. With each progressively more fearful situation, God’s reassurance helps Gideon to choose, as an act of his will, to trust God and move forward in victory. With each new step, Gideon’s fear becomes weaker while his faith becomes stronger.

Identifying your fear and its “triggers” will help deprive those triggers of their power. Your regular, repeated exposure to a trigger (something that initiates a sense of fear or danger) can help to desensitize you to it. If your fear is situational or if you are under medical care for panic attacks, you can move toward victory as you walk through the following process:

“Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled.” (1 Peter 1:13)

If you are overly sensitive to an object or situation, “desensitization” can be the key to open the door to freedom. Systematically repeat each of the following steps one at a time. After repeating one individual step day after day for a week or two, or until you no longer have a strong emotional reaction, move on to the next step. A slight reaction is expected and permissible before moving to the next step.

• Gradually increase your exposure to the fear.
  

  Specific Phobia
  —
  Example: fear of elevators
  

  • Stand near an elevator and watch people get on and off.
    
  • Push the button
    as if
    you are getting ready to step inside.
    
  • Step inside (when other people are not around), hold the “Door Open” button, count to five and step out.
    
  • Step inside, (again, when others are not around), hold the “Door Open” button, count to ten and step out.
    
  • Step inside, ride to only one floor and exit.
    
  • Ride to two floors ... three ... eventually all the way up and down for ten minutes.
    

  A supportive person can be present for each step—initially also doing the activity—then later not participating, but being present to encourage and praise.
  

• Practice facing your fear.
  

  Social Phobia
  —
  Example: fear of initiating conversation
  

  • Initiate by simply saying “hello” with a smile.
    
  • Practice being genuinely interested in each person you speak with. Think:
    What is truly meaningful to this person?
    —then mention it or ask about it.
    
  • Listen carefully to what is said by others.
    
  • Ask follow-up questions.
    
  • Ask simple, open-ended questions of others about themselves—questions that can’t be answered with just a “yes” or “no.”
    
  • Intentionally use “you” and “yours” more in conversations than you use “I” and “my.”
    
  • Make brief comments about yourself.
    
  • Practice by asking a salesperson questions.
    
  • Every day practice saying general questions you could ask anyone:
    

    —“Who has been the most influential person in your life?”
    

    —“What was your favorite subject in school?”
    

    —“What do you enjoy doing more than anything else?”
    

    —“What has brought you the greatest satisfaction in anything that you have done?”
    

• Repeat each step over and over again until it evokes little reaction.
  

  Agoraphobia
  —
  Example: fear of a panic attack (fear in open spaces)
  

  • Open your front door and leave it open.
    
  • Stand in the open door for as long as possible.
    
  • Go out the door and stand on the porch—breathe deeply.
    
  • Walk down the sidewalk to the edge of your property.
    
  • Walk around the outside of the house.
    
  • Sit in the car while it is in the driveway.
    
  • Have someone drive you around the block.
    
  • Drive yourself around the block.
    
  • Go to the mall and sit in your car in the parking lot.
    
  • Go to the mall when it will not be too crowded and walk around.
    
  • Go into a store and greet a sales clerk.
    
  • Make a small purchase.
    

  Each step of the way, say,
  

  “The L
  ORD
  is with me; I will not be afraid.”
  (Psalm 118:6)
  

  “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the L
  ORD
  your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
  (Deuteronomy 31:6)
  

  Note
  : For serious phobic reactions, the process of desensitization is almost always used in combination with professional medical help.
  

Like Gideon, if you grew up in an environment where fear reigned, you could easily have developed a fear-based mentality as a child and then grown into an adult who is now controlled by the fear. At times, you feel helpless and powerless to confront or to match someone strength-for-strength. Gideon had been at the mercy of those around him who, as “master manipulators,” had a whole arsenal of fear tactics. Unless you, like Gideon, come to recognize the bondage you are in and accept the fact that Christ came to free the oppressed, you will remain in bondage. Yes, Christ came to set you free—just as He set Gideon free centuries before.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed.” (Luke 4:18)

• Fear:
  “I can’t help this feeling of intense fear!”
  

  Fact:
  “This feeling is a bluff to my mind and body. It is not grounded in truth.”
  

  “Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.”
  (Psalm 27:3)
  

• Fear:
  “I have this feeling of doom—a feeling that I am going to die.”
  

  Fact:
  “The time of death is in God’s hands. I will choose to trust Him.”
  

  “Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.”
  (Job 14:5)
  

• Fear:
  “I’m afraid of what others are thinking about me.”
  

  Fact:
  “My peace comes from pleasing God, not in pleasing man.”
  

  “We make it our goal to please him.”
  (2 Corinthians 5:9)
  

• Fear:
  “I am hopeless and can never change.”
  

  Fact:
  “In Christ, I am a new person. Nothing is hopeless.”
  

  “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
  (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  

• Fear:
  “I am so nervous, I can’t think clearly.”
  

  Fact:
  “God will guard my mind and give me peace.”
  

  “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
  (Philippians 4:7)
  

• Fear:
  “To be safe, I have to be in control.”
  

  Fact:
  “God is in control of my life, and He is with me step-by-step.”
  

  “The L
  ORD
  himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
  (Deuteronomy 31:8)
  

• Fear:
  “I feel trapped with no way of escape.”
  

  Fact:
  “God always makes a way of escape.”
  

  “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
  (1 Corinthians 10:13)
  

Q
UESTION: “I want to conquer my fears. What do I need to do first?”

A
NSWER:
In reality, God is actually the One who does what He calls Gideon to do because
He is the One who enables Gideon to do it
. All God requires is that Gideon refuses to focus on the fear he feels and chooses to step forward in the faith he possesses. Of course, Gideon’s faith increases as he faces each new fear-producing situation. He goes from fearfully tearing down his father’s altar and Asherah pole under the cover of darkness to boldly pursuing the Midianites in the bright light of day!

“The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

Certain general things to consider when dealing with fears are often overlooked just because they are quite simple and too “obvious” to be seen. It’s like looking at the forest but missing the trees. These suggestions may seem simplistic, but they can be the foundation on which to build an effective plan for overcoming unwanted fear and anxiety.

“He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” (Luke 6:48)

• Get a thorough medical check-up—ask if any condition could be causing anxiety.
  
• Ask your doctor to evaluate all medications.
  
• Get adequate sleep.
  
• Get regular exercise.
  
• Plan to get sufficient laughter, fun, and recreation.
  
• Be around encouraging people—remove yourself from negative people.
  
• Get on a healthy diet by eating healthful foods—avoid alcohol and drugs.
  
• Develop the habit of living one day at a time.
  
• Listen to inspirational Christian and/or classical music.
  
• Ask a trusted friend to help you; then imagine the worst and consider why it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
  

“To him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Gideon does exactly what God requires. In time, he refuses to focus on his fear and chooses to step forward in faith. He knows he is not a mighty warrior, but he learns that God can be the warrior within him! It’s not complicated—his supernatural victory comes simply because Gideon walks both fearfully with God by faith and fearlessly with God by faith.

Sometimes God chooses a specific person—friend or family member—to walk with the one who needs more faith. Just as God told Gideon to take Purah with him into the Midianite camp, fearful people need fearless friends to walk alongside to help them find the road to freedom.

• Those who are fearful need a friend.
  
• Those who are timid need a teammate.
  
• Those who are worried need someone wise.
  
• Those who are anxious need an exhorter.
  
• Those who cower need an encourager.
  
• Those who are tormented by fear need inspiration from those who have found freedom from fear.
  

To support a loved one who is struggling with fear, learn what to do and what not to do. You can very well be that person’s answer to prayer.

“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)

• Don’t
  become impatient when you don’t understand their fear.
  

  Do
  understand that what fearful people
  feel
  is
  real
  .
  

  “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”
  (Proverbs 14:29)
  

• Don’t
  think they are doing this for attention.
  

  Do
  realize they are embarrassed and want to change.
  

  “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
  (Romans 7:15)
  

• Don’t
  be critical or use demeaning statements.
  

  Do
  be gentle and supportive, and build up their self-confidence.
  

  “Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
  (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
  

• Don’t
  assume you know what is best.
  

  Do
  ask how you can help.
  

  “We urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
  (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
  

• Don’t
  make them face a threatening situation without planning.
  

  Do
  give them instruction in positive self-talk and relaxation exercises.
  

  “Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.”
  (Proverbs 4:13)
  

• Don’t
  make them face the situation alone.
  

  Do
  be there and assure them of your support.
  

  “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
  (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10)
  

• Don’t
  begin with difficult situations.
  

  Do
  help them to begin facing their fear in small increments.
  

  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”
  (James 1:2–3)
  

• Don’t
  constantly ask, “How are you feeling?”
  

  Do
  help them see the value of having other interests.
  

  “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
  (Philippians 2:4)
  

• Don’t
  show disappointment and displeasure if they fail.
  

  Do
  encourage them and compliment their efforts to conquer their fear.
  

  “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.”
  (Proverbs 3:27)
  

• Don’t
  say
  , “Don’t be absurd; there’s nothing for you to fear!”
  

  Do
  say,
  “No matter how you feel, tell yourself the truth, ‘I will take one step at a time.’”
  

  “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.”
  (Proverbs 16:21)
  

• Don’t
  say
  , “Don’t be a coward; you have to do this!”
  

  Do
  say,
  “I know this is difficult for you, but it’s not dangerous. You have the courage to do this.”
  

  “A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.”
  (Proverbs 16:23)
  

• Don’t
  say
  , “Quit living in the past; this is not that bad.”
  

  Do
  say
  , “Remember to stay in the present and remind yourself, ‘That was then, and this is now.’”
  

  “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
  (Proverbs 16:24)