Fear Me Not (The EVE Chronicles) (25 page)

“There is nothing wise to say about death. It happens. The tragedy is that we never expected it to happen here. You are all wonderful students, each with your differences. It is those differences that make us stronger, but it appears someone does not care for them.”

He inhales. The police chief, an older man with graying hair, puts his hand on his shoulder. The principal steps down and makes way for him at the podium.

“We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again,” The chief booms. “If you have any information regarding this event, even the slightest odd sighting, please report it to one of our officers. Thank you again for your cooperation.”

In PE, I pick at my sweatsuit. The yellow field grass crinkles under my feet. The sky is gunmetal gray, washed by a pale sun. The football track is scattered with our running class. A few of Shadus’ friends are in my class too - Serena waves and Nate thumps my back as he passes on his last lap. I sigh and start to jog. Raine is all smooth strides ahead of me.

Dakota lags with me, neither of us athletic - her body too stocky and me with no muscles. The only people slower are a fat EVE who wheezes behind me. I peel off to catch my breath. Dakota doubles over beside me, panting.

“Freaking hate running,” I puff. “Hate it more than history. More than cooking class. I’m ready to trip purposely and get some blood going. Targe will let me off if there’s blood, right?”

Dakota laughs, gulping air. We slowly catch our breath before Dakota breaks thei quiet.

“You don’t seem - I mean, you’re really sad lately -”

I wipe at my forehead. “What?”  

“If you’re sad, a-about anything, you can tell me, you know.”

I fluff out my jersey, trying to get cool air on my skin. She knows. Some deep part of her is picking up on the fact I’m going to leave.

 “Carlotti! Hale!” Mr. Targe yells. “Get moving before I mark you with an F!”

I sigh and offer her my hand. She takes it and pulls herself up, and we start running again.

I pretend I don’t see Taj on the steps in the distance. I pretend he doesn’t lean on the railing and watch our class - watch me - until the bell rings. He stays so far away.

He’s afraid. He’s afraid of what happened to the Illuminator. And he’s guilty he couldn’t stop it. And I know that, because we are (were?) friends.

He’s staying away because we are friends, and being too friendly got someone killed. 

***

Four days after the Illuminator Halsi was killed, Mark, her human boyfriend, ruptures.

Standing in front of her memorial one day during lunch, the blood starts bubbling from the corner of his mouth. He coughs, spitting blood. His tear ducts brim with red, and two ribbons of bloody tears pulse down his face.

The security helps him into Yulan’s office just in time.

Mark is, thankfully, saved. His organ is taken out, and he’s sent home to live out his civilian life. Another teenage EVE, a girl with a million piercings from New York, takes his place.

And the world moves on, heartlessly.

11. The Tower

Parents fly in from all over the country after the investigation into the murder is semi-over and students are permitted to leave by the police. EVEs depart with their suitcases rolling behind them, fresh scars on their abdomens where the organs had been drained prematurely. Teary farewells to friends resound in the halls. Classes start to empty even more. How many EVEs will leave? How many Gutters will be left without food because of it?

The mharata patrol like jungle cats, moving silently and quickly down the halls. Everyone notices they’ve begun moving faster, reacting quicker, changing posts more often. Sometimes, they even talk to each other in low, rapid Rahm. Raine insists that means they’re narrowing the list of suspects to only a few.

I hate them. I hate the way they move, the way they stare, the way their eyes follow me. But they’re inevitable. I can’t escape them. The tension stacks higher and higher with every passing day. Sometimes I just want to scream at them; ‘
it’s me, you idiots, just take me and let’s get it over with
!’.   

Alisa and Dad call. Dad’s voice breaks with concern.

“Victoria, I’m not going to tell you twice. You’re coming home, who knows what -”

“We need this money, Dad. They don’t pay the people who leave.”

“Victoria, it’s not safe there!”

“There’s security everywhere! They got even more security. And this killer? The police are pretty sure they’re only targeting Gutters.”

“That’s no excuse! You know what these crazy anti-Gutter groups are like!”

“Four more months, Dad! Just four. And we can have the house and I’ll be back home.”

It’s a lie. It’s the best damn lie I’ve ever told.  

I’m sure his mind is flashing with every memory he still has of Mom. We need the money bad. After a minute of strained silence he sighs, long and hard.

“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this. You
absolutely
swear to me you’ll use the buddy system? Remember everything I taught you?”

“Every last thing.”

He’s quiet. I can hear his heart pulling in two directions - the greater good and my good.

“I can’t lose you too, Vic.”

“You never will.”

Another lie. And this one cracks my heart like a porcelain, dropped thing.

“Call me every day. No exceptions, or I’m coming to get you.”

“Okay.”

Please come get me. Please take me away from all this.

Shadus looks happy enough - laughing with Nate and smiling when Hailey calls his name or Serena grasps his arm. He strides ahead of me on our way to class. During study hall, his gaze is riveted to his book, and sometimes to me.

“Pass me the eraser?” I ask. He looks up and grabs the teddy bear eraser Dakota lent me. He stares at its face for a moment, wrinkles his nose, and passes it to me. There’s a snarky comment in his eyes, but he doesn’t say it.

“S’not mine,” I clarify. “Dakota gave it to me. I tried really hard to not throw it across the room when I first saw it.”

He doesn’t smile. The textbook has all his attention.

“Are you studying for -”

“Don’t,” He growls.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t force yourself to pretend like nothing’s wrong.”

I’m not going to cry. I have to be the brave, bold, always-right girl. The weapon. The strong one. The one who can protect Alisa. And now, apparently, the one who can protect an entire race.

Shadus breaks his stare to get up and move, sitting next to me.

“The
mharata
are closing in,” He says.

“Duh,” I sniff.

“Now is your last chance. There’s still time to do it Raine’s way. You can choose. You are not powerless.”

“Really?” I gasp, the sound watery. “Because I fucking
feel
powerless.”

Shadus reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. The motion is tender, and sends my heart wrenching every which way. He opens the book he’s holding, and shows it to me. It’s an embossed likeness of Umala and Asara, carved in sandstone and facing each other.

“The power is yours. The choice is yours. You can use the power for progression, or destruction. It is your choice entirely. But you’ll only have that power, and that choice, once the
mharata
teach you. I’m not going to lie. It will be difficult. You will be injured, in both mind and body. The
mharata
are ruthless. But your life, too, has been ruthless. You’ve lived through much worse. And I know how strong you are for it. The
mharata
are nothing compared to the scars you’ve suffered at the hands of life.”

A seed of glowing hope emerges in my chest, but I clutch at my EVE organ.

“If I take it out…would that stop it all?”

“Perhaps. But nothing would change. The
sotho
would still scheme to leave the planet. The humans would still scheme to kill us all. You would not be part of the picture, anymore. And the war would be inevitable. But that is also a choice you have. Yulan would do it if Raine ordered so. You have many choices. You need to ask yourself what you want. What does Victoria Hale
want
, more than anything?”

I’m quiet, and then I dig deeper. Past the EVE organ, past my need to protect, past the loss of my Mom and past who I am as Victoria.  

“I want…I want to be happy.”

Shadus smiles. “Then you know what you must do.”

“But – but what about you? The Gutters? Without
zol
, you’ll be –”

“We’ll be fine. I don’t know if anyone’s told you,” he smirks. “But we’re very intelligent. We will outsmart the humans, and leave some way or another. It might take longer, and we may lose a few more Gutters. That’s all.”

Shadus tucks the other strand of hair behind my other ear, and smiles brighter.

“Do what will make you happy, Victoria. That’s all I ask.”

12. The Hermit

In my dreams, my EVE organ is gone. I’m running through the winter woods outside the school, laughing and skipping over rocks and fallen logs. My scar is still under my ribs, but I feel lighter, freer, and I move like a joyful wind.

I come to the school’s front lawn. A red stain melts the snow in the distance. The light feeling drops away as I near it.

Alisa’s body replaces the Illuminator’s in the snow, her head smashed in, her jaw ripped clean off. And as I scream, the tears streaming down my face, the dark-haired, violet-eyed woman glides over the snow, the air around her hazy and distorted with darkness. She smiles that same vicious, insane smile.

“Leave me alone!” I scream at her.

“
Tilu’ak mau vasora
,” She sneers back, and reaches out to grab me.

I wake up to a dark room, and a darker heart.

13. The Moon

The protestors just won’t fucking give up.

They pace relentlessly, their signs waving. Teachers close the blinds on windows to block our view of them, but you can still hear the noise. You can always hear the hate in their voices. First the opening of an alien school, and now a murderer living at the alien school? Their twisted faces are understandable, but more hate’s not going to do anyone any good. They cheer in the day for parents dragging their EVE kids from the school, and dissipate at night like a pack of hyenas.  

The police dart in and out of classrooms to call people for questioning. Classes empty. Teacher cars get their tires slashed. Walls blossom with spray-paint dissent. Some of the graffiti has to come from students; ‘Teachers are useless fucks’, and ‘The Gutter freak deserved to die, she was a bitch’. The janitor scrubs and sighs like he’s the oldest man in the world. Like he’s the only sane man in the world.

My breath clouds on the hall window as I watch him work. Scrub brush, water, bucket. Scrub brush, water, sigh, bucket.

“Victoria?”

I look up. Buttercup highlights and determined gold eyes. The dark circles under his eyes are prominent. He must be pushing himself three times as hard.

“Hey, Taj. Long time no see.”

Taj nods. “I’ve been…busy.”

“Too busy to even say hello?”

He looks guilty, but I quickly backtrack.

“Look, no. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s good to see you again, that’ s all. I’d gotten so used to you hanging around I – ”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

My eyes widen. His harden. “What?”

“The killer’s watching you.”

“You –” I take a step forward. “You know who it is?”

“I know it’s someone who was assigned by the Adjudicator
sotho
to keep an eye on the relationships within this school,” Taj says. “And if any humans consorted with Gutters in the romantic sense, the killer was given permission to eradicate the Gutter, in order to keep the bloodline ‘pure’.”

“What? That’s insane –”

“It’s not, when you consider humans are almost guaranteed to become pregnant by a single night with a Gutter, and vice versa. The result is –” He shudders. “The result is an abomination. The Illuminators have proven that much in their labs. And it cannot be aborted without killing the mother.”

“So Halsi was - ” I swallow. “She was pregnant?”

“Certainly,” Taj says. “And the
sotho
would never allow that. Someone slipped her the abortion medicine. It’s messy, but effective. She probably staggered out onto the lawn for help, but never made it that far.”

I wince, the image of her perforated head and broken jaw hanging like a grisly sign on the back of my eyelids. I try desperately to shake it off.

“So it was the
sotho
. The
sotho
killed her,” I say.

“No, it was a Gutter in this school. But my sister ordered the killing be allowed, yes.”

“You’re killing your own people?” I hiss. “You’ve killed a girl because – because she was in
love
?”

Taj’s eyes harden again. “We will do anything to maintain our culture. We won’t let it become sullied, or lost to human consumption and taint. We must stay as we are. We can’t succumb to your influence any more than we already have, or we will become weak, and you humans will have a very easy time killing us all. We must be strong. We must remain solely Gutter.”

“But this school – it’s all about integration! That’s the whole purpose –”

“The whole purpose is to maintain a good cover,” Taj says. “If we refused to collaborate with your government’s idea of desegregation, it would give them cause to wonder if we hate them, or are planning something. So we went along with it to keep our political ties clean.”

“This has all been an act for you? All of it?”

Taj nods sternly. “Every single day.”

“Even being friends with me?” I ask bitterly. Taj opens his mouth, looks away, and then looks back to me, resolve burning in his face.

“Yes.”

“You’re lying,” I snap. “I can see you’re lying.”

“Do not –” He raises his voice. “Speak to me of lying. If you value your life so much, then you’ll stay away from Shadus. Forever.”