Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3) (26 page)

When they were home for the evening, Carlee’s good spirits remained. “They have her comfortable,” she said, “for now, Hatchet said that’s all they can do.”

“
Johanna told me that Kyliejo’s dad won’t come see her. She said he told her he ‘can’t handle it.’ That makes
me
want to cry. I can’t imagine what she must feel.”

“Numb,” Carlee said, not missing a beat. “She feels lost and numb, and now sick.”

Matthew wrapped her in his arms and lifted her to the kitchen counter. “Did you ever feel angry at your dad?”

“Angry?” She thought a minute and finally said, “No. Not angry. When he
was still alive, I felt sad, but Papa was always there to take that emotion away. I know he was angry, Papa I mean. As I got older, I was confused. But mostly I was just hurt. What’s for supper?” she asked, changing the subject.

“What’s your taster tastin’?” he asked.

“Pizza, but we’d better go with the white sauce and spinach; I don’t know about the red sauce yet.”

“I’ll call for delivery.”

“No!” she said. “Drive me around to go get it. I feel like I’ve been cooped up here for weeks. Oh wait! I have!” she laughed and Matthew loved the sound of it.

~ ~ ~

Later, as they lay in bed, Matthew pulled her closer. “Carlee, I want to tell you something; it’s really important. I don’t want to make you cry, so I want to make sure I say this right.”

She leaned back to look in his eyes, those smoky eyes that she loved looking into because when she did
, she saw love. “What is it?”

“I’ve watched you with Kyliejo the last few days…” he paused to think, his thoughts making him emotional. “You will be a beautiful mother someday, and I can’t wait. Whether we can make a baby or we are blessed another way, I want to have a child with you.”

She said nothing; she wasn’t sure she could, so many thoughts, so many fears… Finally, she curled closer; pressing her body to his, she whispered in his ear, “Maybe we should practice, just to make sure we’re doing it right…”

Chap
ter Sixteen

The week and a half that Andy was in the states was busy and full. He drove south to visit family and take care of some things at home. He went to the studio and went over some things with Marco. Adaleigh had been working on some new material and had just left for an engagement the day he arrived.

“How’s my girl?
” Marco asked.

“Seems she’s on the upside,” Andy said with a smile. “Scary shit there for a while, but she’s Carlee
- always ‘up.’”

He talked about Geni
, and Marco saw a different happiness about him and was happy for his good friend. They talked about Adaleigh and the music she was working on.

“She’s got some great stuff for this one,” Marco said and did a playb
ack.

Andy kicked back in the chair, f
eet on the console, eyes closed, as he did when he listened, and heard what Marco was sharing. He could feel it in his soul, it was that good, but when he sat up, all he could think was that he didn’t miss being here all of a sudden. “You’re doing a great job; it sounds sexy and soulful.”

“Had a great teacher,” Marco laughed.
“I learned what to listen for.”

“The guys will be here tomorrow for some quick rehearsal time,” Andy said
, and Marco noticed the grin on his face. “They’re staying at the house; it’ll be like old times.”

“You are looking forward to this!” he laughed.

“I am, but it makes me happiest knowing that it’s a one-time thing. I’m too old for this shit,” Andy laughed. “We’ve been going back and forth with text messages, phone calls and emails over a playlist.”

“What’ya got?” Marco asked.

“Oh, the obvious and a few I’m struggling with,” he replied honestly. “You know the hits that everyone will want to hear, but I don’t want to sing.”

“Like?”

“Well, we’re thinking about opening with Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back,” “Traveler,” “You Know the Way,” and since every time it plays in a bar and everyone goes crazy, “Simple Life.” Nathan says we have to do “Timeless” and “Forbidden Place.” I can handle “Forbidden Place;” it will remind me of Bethy, but I’m really struggling with “Timeless.”

There was a long pause, and finally in a sad voice, he continued. “
I know I didn’t write it for, or about her, but that song resonates so clearly to me that it’s her song… Those last few days before she passed - it seemed she wanted to hear it over and over; she repeated lyrics…”

“I know,
I’ve seen you have to work your way through that one many times,” Marco said. “It’s a timeless classic,” a comment that had them both laughing.

“
Got a couple new things in the works - one that I’m working on for Carlee, and of course we’ll close with “One For The Road,”” Andy thought a minute before he continued. “Nathan wants me to do a couple of my singles.”

He sat quietly a moment
, and Marco watched. He could see the wheels turning, that ‘deep in thought look’ that he knew so well, and wondered where his friend’s thoughts had gone. Finally Andy looked up.

“They told Carlee that there is a possibility, ‘nothing carved in stone’ they said, that infertility could be a result of the radiation.” Quiet again, Marco waited for him to continue.

“Marco, if you could see her with that little girl… I just pray that they can have children – she will be a great mother.”

“So tell me about the new song,” Marco said attempting to give him some relief.

“When this whole medical ordeal started with Carlee, I woke in the middle of the night, and this song popped in my head – you’ll hear it later. Right now I’m working in something Carlee said to me the other day.”

“Oh, knowing that sweet thing
, it was probably good,” Marco laughed.

“It was a bad day - the day before she shaved her head – she called the little girl’s mother and invited them to come over, and Johanna, the mother
, was telling Carlee that the father had left them when Kyliejo got sick. It had Carlee an emotional wreck, and I went to sit with her for a minute. I told her I loved her, and how proud she made me feel. She’s so passionate, Marco. And I told her that I was proud to call her my daughter. ‘Those aren’t just words,’ she told me, ‘It’s a place.’ And when she explained what she meant, she said, ‘Any man can be a father, but you, you are the best papa I could ever imagine, and I can’t imagine my life without you. You are a place in my heart.’ That ‘you are a place in my heart’ meant so much to me, and it stuck in my head, and I couldn’t put it aside.”

“She’s just special,” Marco said.

“That she is.”  

~ ~ ~

The Traveler guys all arrived the next day went to dinner at Giovanna’s Italian Restaurant, causing a frenzy at the establishment. Flashes from cameras went off from every direction as they entered. They were guided away from the crowd to a private dining room, where pizza and Chianti were shared with conversation and laughter. It had been a long time since they were all together, and the fun times they’d shared over the years brought ‘tales from the road’ and memories that had them there until after the restaurant closed.

That night they returned to Andy’s
, and like in the old days, there was no sleep. They sat in Andy’s living room, and the piano and guitars were played into the early morning hours. Mark had drumsticks tapping on a book, and they enjoyed themselves until after four the next morning. 

~ ~ ~

When Andy rose at nine the next morning, he went to the kitchen to make coffee, and his phone rang. “Good morning, love,” he said when he saw it was Geni.

“I was missing you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said and knew it was so.

“Are you just getting up?” she laughed.

“Yep, we went to dinner, drank too much, and then came back here and played music until around four. It was GRAND! I wish you’d have been here.”

“I already saw pictures on People.com,” she laughed. “The Trave
ler guys being back together are a big deal! The pictures and some video from last night as you entered the restaurant even made it onto the morning news,” she laughed.

“Soon as I can get these guys up, we’re going to the studio to get some real time in.
” Nigel came around the corner in a full dive on the coffee pot, and Andy started laughing. “The critters are starting to rustle. I’ll call you later.”

~ ~ ~

When they arrived at the studio, Marco was waiting. He knew what they’d want, and there were coffee and bagels waiting.

It was a busy time
, and Andy found that he’d missed it – a little - and suddenly, he was anxious about it.
What if we suck?
he wondered, and followed the thought with,
It’s for Kyliejo and Carlee. We can’t suck
. 

“A bunch of
old rock-and-rollers having fun,” Dane laughed. All of the Traveler guys were there; Dane Allen, Nigel Rose, Mark Jones, Scott Force, John Smith – ‘Stretch,’ Nathan Perry, and Andy played and sang and played some more until late into the night. And they all loved it.

“I think we’ve still got it!” Nigel shouted with a big laugh.

Marco loved witnessing it. Addy showed up at six that evening and joined in the fun.

When Andy called Geni later that evening he was telling her about the day, and the mention of Addy’s name made her experience a feeling she wasn’t sure how to handle. Later, lying in bed – the bed she shared with Andy, not Tom, she tried to talk herself out of the jealousy she felt, but it stayed in
the back of her mind.

~ ~ ~

The next day, the Traveler guys headed out; they’d be seeing each other in a couple of weeks in London and then again a few days prior to the concert and through the event.

Mark stuck around another day
, and Kimmy had Andy and Nanny and Pops over for dinner. Carlee’s family loaded him up with goodies to take back to Carlee, and he headed for Jacksonville.

When he got back to the house
that evening, he poured a glass of wine and went to sit on the patio. His mind wandered through many memories as he enjoyed the quiet. He thought about all the years with the guys, and then Beth. Those memories, entwined with what he was sharing with Geni, left him feeling emotional, and then he thought about all he’d shared with Carlee. He savored the last the last sip of wine in his glass and was getting ready to go inside when his phone rang. “Hey, love,” he said when he saw it was Geni.

“When are you coming back? I miss you.”

“I’m leaving here in the morning; gonna have to grab another suitcase to haul the loot the family is sending to Carlee,” he laughed.

She was ready for him to be back in her company. Sleeping with his arms around her was a feeling that she loved. She watched him with her sons and grandchildren, and
she knew, with no question, that he was part of her life for a greater reason than just Carlee and Matthew.

~ ~ ~

Geni was on the porch waiting when she saw his car turn into the driveway.

He stepped out of the car
, and she made her way into his arms. He kissed her passionately. “Damn, I haven’t missed anyone this much in a really long time.”

“I’m glad it’s me that you missed,” she said.

“I
did miss you. What a crazy couple of days. Being back together with those knuckleheads was a blast!”

He headed back to London two days later.

~ ~ ~

He flew through the night to get there, and w
hen he arrived, a driver was waiting to take him straight to the center where Carlee had her treatments; he met Matthew in the lobby. “I can’t wait to get my arms around her!”

“Oh, and I can
already see the smile on her face and her flight into your arms,” Matthew laughed.

They caught up while they waited
, and finally the door from the treatment area opened. He was up before she saw him and finally went to her and lifted her off the floor in a hug.

“You’re light as a feather, too thin,” he said.

But Matthew was quick to add; “She’s finally getting her appetite back and eating, not just moving it around on her plate to confuse us!”

“Speaking of that… I could eat a lil’
bit of something now!” she laughed.

~ ~ ~

With Andy back, on Monday, Matthew’s work schedule returned to normal, and Andy took over as chauffer for the last week of her treatment. He enjoyed the conversation as they traveled back and forth. He told her about the studio time with the Traveler guys and the time with family.

Each morning a
fter treatment they made a quick stop by the hospital to check in on Kyliejo. They were keeping her comfortable, and that was all anyone could pray for. Johanna was struggling, trying to manage work and being there for her daughter. She worked as a copy editor, and they were able to allow her to work from her laptop from the hospital for the most part.

Carlee had printed butterfly templates that she’d used at camp
in previous years, and they had Kyliejo’s colored pencils for them to color the butterflies. Everyday they added two more to the walls. Hatchet was still caring for her as much and as often as she could.

Andy watched Carlee, loved seeing her with the child, and
he prayed.

~ ~ ~

“Papa, Thursday is Matthew’s birthday; can you help me with something?” she asked Andy as they made their way home.

“Whatever you need,” he said. “Hey, Saturday is Valentine’s Day as well.”

“I think I’m gonna act like I forgot his birthday and plan something for Friday evening to surprise him.”

“So your help from me is to get lost?” he chuckled.

“Well, there is that,” she said and followed it with a hearty laugh, a sound that Andy was happy to hear again. “If I call Cook and get it all planned, can we go by there Friday after treatment and pick it up? Friday will be late because it’s the last one and they’ll do another set of scans and stuff.”

“So it’ll be a celebration of you as well,” he said with a smile. “Carlee, I can’t tell you how relieved I feel. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared.”

“Me too, Papa. I don’t know what I was more fearful of,” she said and paused. “I was afraid of everything to do with the treatment and outcome, but I think I was more afraid that Matthew would get tired of all of it. I know the treatment will be over soon, but it’s not the end of the road for this journey. Another however many months of not driving… I just feel so much better. I think I look at things differently now, because I feel so blessed that it wasn’t something horrible. But then I feel guilty because someone so young, like Kyliejo, has to go through it.”