Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3) (35 page)

“Emotional,” Brett said.
“I felt it as I read it; that’s what made it so easy to write.”

“Personal, I was going to say personal,” Carlee replied, taking the corner of the napkin to dab the tears from her eyes
.

Devin
pulled a flash drive from his pocket and handed it to Carlee. “It’s password-protected, and I’ll get that to you before we leave. This is a screenplay, as Brett and I see it at this moment in time. This is the beta work so that you can see where we’d like this to go and how we see it. As my father told you years ago, everything, every step of the way will be at your discretion, because I know this is personal.”

Carlee didn’t say anything for a minute; Matthew saw her thinking
. He knew that look; her mind was racing, and she was trying to process a lot in just a few brief moments. “It is personal, and I’m struggling a bit with the thought of this.”

“You need not say yes or no right now. Take it home and read it
, make notes on what you’d like to see done differently. If you’d like to meet with us, I understand your restrictions; I will arrange for us to be here to do that.” 

She
watched as she folded trembling hands into her lap.

“Dessert?” Devin asked.

“Actually, I was thinking that this has been a lot for me in one evening. How long are you in town?” Carlee asked.

“I
leave on Monday. Brett is heading back tomorrow,” Devin replied.

“I’d like to meet with you again before you leave, but tonight, I’m ready to call it a day.”

“Carlee, thank you for meeting with us. There is no pressure, and if you aren’t ready to talk before I depart, I can come back with a day’s notice.”

“Thank you,” she said, rising from her seat as Matthew followed. “I’ll be in touch.”

Matthew took her hand as they walked away. “You OK?”

“Overwhelmed at the thought of all of this - so much more to consider now.” She squeezed his hand, leading him out the front door and to the street. “There’s a stop I’d like to make before we leave.”

He let her lead him to the park, to the bench where they’d shared so many things in their short time together. When they got there, Carlee sat down. For April, it was a cooler evening than she’d expected, and she shivered, but as Matthew slipped his arm around her shoulder, she wasn’t quite sure it was the cold or the thoughts running through her head.

“Want to talk?”

“I love this place. Our first real kiss happened right here. You stole me away from the hoopla for moments alone the night before our wedding. This bench is so precious to me.” Matthew pulled her closer and kissed her. When he let go of her she told him. “I think we owe it to the world to at least explore this further.”

~ ~ ~

The next morning, Matthew got ready for work, and she asked Andy to come sit with her. Geni knew she wanted to talk. She was busy taking an on-line quiz as he entered. Matthew got ready to go and hugged her. “I love you.”

“I love you right back,” she smiled and planted a big noisy kiss on his lips.

After he was gone she told Andy, “Ten minutes, and I’ll be done.”

He went to the kitchen and made coffee, and when he heard the loud, last click of the keys on the computer he knew she was done.

“I called Hatchet a bit ago, and she said Kyliejo was sleeping. She’s not waking up so much anymore,” she said sadly. “I asked for you to come up because I want to run all of this by you - the movie, I mean.”

He listened as she explained the conversation the evening before
. “I think we should do it, but there’s so much more to consider now than just you and me.”

“Are you worried about Geni?” he asked
, and she nodded. “We’ve come to terms with our past. She’s read the book, and she talked to me after we left the other evening. She said it’s a beautiful story that needs to be shared. I think it will be hard for any of us, Nanny and Pops, Kimmy, all of us. But I’m good with you following through with this. Geni told me this morning that the book is #7 on the Times’ Best Seller List.”

“Devin told me it was on the list again. Who knew?”

“How’s the class coming?” Andy asked changing the subject.

“Good! I wished I’d have taken two!” she laughed.

Her phone rang
, and she saw it was Hatchet. “You should come.”

“
Call Geni, we need to go. I have to grab something,” Carlee told Andy.

Geni called Matthew and they were on their way.

~ ~ ~

When they arrived Johanna was crying. “She hasn’t been awake since yesterday morning.
It’s not good. Not good at all…” Carlee wrapped her arms around her, and they held each other.

Finally,
Carlee walked to the bedside to whisper in her ear. “Hey princess, it’s me. I just want you to know I’m here.”

Johanna stepped into the hallway with Matthew a moment. Carlee continued her conversation with the little girl. “I believe that you can hear me, so I want to tell you a secret. Matthew and I are going to have a baby.” She looked around at all the IV lines and monitors
attached to her. She looked at the butterflies that covered the walls of the room. She looked to the door and saw Hatchet with Matthew and Johanna, and Andy and Geni had just joined them.

Hatchet watched as
Carlee stroked the girl’s head, and she saw the tears that spilled from Carlee’s eyes. “Don’t you hold on for us, sweetheart. Your body is tired; if you are ready to go, be free.”

She reached over and pinned a rhinestone butterfly broach on the yellow pajamas she’d given her for Christmas. “This was my mama’s; let these wings carry you home.”

Johanna watched and stood silently still. Hatchet heard the beep of the heart monitor’s pace dwindle and went in to join Carlee.

“I can’t go in there just now,” Jo
hanna cried, and Geni hugged her.

“Mum, you need to come,” Hatchet said.

“I can’t.”

Carlee rose and went to her. She took her hand and said, “Come
with me. I’ll stay with you.”

Geni, Matthew and Andy watched, crying their own tears at t
he strength Carlee shared with Johanna.

Johanna saw the pin and folded into Carlee’s arms with the sobs of a mother’s grief. And the beep stopped. Hatchet turned everything off
, and they all stood there and waited a moment. Finally, Carlee led Johanna out of the room to the solarium, where they all gathered.

“Hatchet said she’d come get us,” Carlee said.

The eyes of the others darted from Carlee to Johanna and back. Matthew knew Carlee was holding back, knew she would fall apart as soon as she was away from Johanna. Finally, Hatchet came to get them.

Chapter Twenty-One

As they prepared to depart the hospital, Carlee went to Hatchet. She whispered in her ear as she hugged her, “I want to come back and get the butterflies. After Johanna… after…”

“You go home and rest
; you look like hell, and you have to think of our girl. I’ll take care of the butterflies.”

“Hatchet, did you just say ‘our girl’
’” Carlee leaned back to look at her.

“I believe I did. I just kinda know in my heart that it’s a girl, and now, this… it just makes it seem right. God closes one door and opens another.”

“You knew I was pregnant?” she looked toward Matthew.

“Wasn’t him
,” she laughed and Carlee looked at Andy. “Him either, I just knew; the saltine crackers and water gave you up.”

“
I love you, Danni Matchett.”

~ ~ ~

In the car, Carlee was quiet. You OK?” Matthew asked, and she nodded.

“My heart just hurts.”

“I know,” he said reaching over to caress her neck.

“She was so special. I think I fell in love with her the moment she said ‘who are you?’ as
we waited to get our ‘tats,’” and as she said the words, she finally started to cry.

~ ~ ~

Johanna called the next morning to tell Carlee the funeral arrangements had already been made. “I started to take care of things when I knew. It’s strange; I actually feel at peace. I’ve cried over all of this for so long that I don’t know how there could possibly be tears left. I’m sure I’ll cry at the service, but for now, peace surrounds me. May I ask what you plan to do with the butterflies? I called Hatchet after I left the hospital, and she said you’d asked her to save them.

“I just didn’t want them to be discarded.”

“Me too; they are so special. Thank you for each one of them. If you have an idea, I’d love for you to keep them. If you’re just going to tuck them away I’d like to have a few.”

“I do have an idea, but there are so many. I’ll pick out some of the ones Kyliejo did and bring them to you.”

“If you’re going to do that, I need one-for-one – you did them together, so I need one of hers and one of yours.” Carlee heard the smile in her voice and was happy.

“Carlee, I can’t thank you enough for these last months. There were times I felt as though you saved me from myself. I felt like just wallowing in my ‘poor me’ self, and I saw you slap a smile on your face for her, no matter how bad you felt. By doing so, you made me wipe my tears away and smile to make it easier for both of us. What a blessing you have been to us.”

“What a blessing she was. Johanna, I’m pregnant, and I pray that I have a little girl; everyone already thinks it will be.”

“Oh! This is wonderful news! I’m happy for you! Oh, what the heck was it that Carl Sandberg said, ‘Babies are God’s opinion that the world should go on
,’” Johanna said.

“I love that thought.”

“I should let you go, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

~ ~ ~

Matthew was on the sofa reading. He’d been watching her throughout the conversation, and when she hung up, he patted the sofa beside him. She sat on his lap instead. “I love you, Matthew.”

“I love you. I was thinking
about something, and I wanted to tell you about it,” he said.

She leaned close and whispered in his ear, “Kylie Elizabeth.”

He gently pushed her back to look at her. “What are you like psychic all of a sudden?” he laughed.

“What if it’s a boy?” she asked.

“It won’t be,” he said.

“But what if it is?”

“Ok, I’ll play your silly game. Kyle John Thomas Andrew, or Andrew Kyle Thomas John, or Kyle Thomas John Andrew or Kyle Andrew John Thomas…” he laughed. “I think that covered all the combinations.” She laughed, and he pulled her closer.

Rubbing her stomach
, he leaned to kiss her there and whispered, “Kylie Elizabeth, I love you.”

~ ~ ~

On Tuesday the following week, there was a memorial service for Kyliejo. Johanna asked Andy if he would sing “The Blessing,” and Carlee begged him to say yes.

It was a small gathering
, and Johanna asked Carlee and her family to sit with her. Her mother and father were there, and as they waited, Carlee noticed a tall dark-haired man walk toward them. He looked to be in his late twenties, maybe early thirties. She looked closer and saw the eyes, and she knew that this was Kyliejo’s father. He leaned to whisper in Johanna’s ear. She sat stiffly as he spoke. Carlee wondered what he could possibly say to her after being absent in Kyliejo’s life. Carlee looked away, and then saw him come toward her.

“Thank you for making her last months better.” He touched Carlee’s hand and walked away.

After the Pastor said a blessing to the people, Andy rose to sing. He chose to do so with no music, just sang from his heart.

You’re a place in my heart and it will never beat the same

I remember the first
time I saw you

Sometimes it’s just a whisper

But I always hear your name…

~ ~ ~

Kyliejo had been cremated, and her remains were taken to an underwater memorial off the coast of Lowestoft, where Johanna grew up, for a private service.

~ ~ ~

After the service everyone, joined at Six. Matthew made arrangements for a private dining room, and Andy had Cook plan a spread of food.

As the afternoon turned into early evening, Andy saw Carlee sitting at a table, her head and hands held as in prayer.

“Want to share what’s going on in there?” Andy said as he joined her.

“Too many things, Papa.
”

“Anything you can unload so I can share your burden?”

“Nothing’s a burden,” she smiled and placed her hand on his cheek. “We decided that if the baby is a girl we will name her Kylie Elizabeth.”

“That’s beautiful,” he said.

“It is. Matthew won’t even talk about boy names,” she laughed.

“It’s a girl.”

“Papa, I want to go home.”

“I know sweetheart. I know…”

~ ~ ~

The following week Devin Marshall and Brett Dunlap returned to London. Devin was happy
, because he knew she wouldn’t have summoned them unless she was ready. Matthew and Andy went with her to meet them.

“Andy
, it’s a pleasure to meet you; my father speaks highly of you. This is Brett Dunlap, my screenwriter. Carlee, I take it you liked what we gave you or we wouldn’t be here.”

“I did
. It’s good. It’s true to the book, nothing to jazz it up. My mama’s words… Thank you for that. What kind of movie are we talking about?”

“How do you see it, Carlee?”

“Lifetime,” she replied. “I don’t see it as a Hallmark movie, and I don’t think I want a big screen movie; I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for more than TV.”

Devin
sat quietly a moment. It wasn’t what he’d hoped, but he’d take whatever she allowed. He understood. “Then that’s what we’ll look into.”

“What would come next?” Carlee asked.

“Some legal matters to get started, and then you approving the scripts from the screenplay and lining up people to be our stars,” he smiled.

She looked at Andy
and then Matthew, then back to Devin and grinned. “Have your people talk to our people,” she said and they all laughed.

~ ~ ~

The following morning, Carlee had a follow-up appointment with Tamara, and Geni took her. While they were alone, Carlee asked the doctor, “What would have to happen to let me go home?”

“What do you mean, Carlee?”

“Florida, the United Sates, home. I want to go home. I feel great; you just said everything looks perfect. Why can’t I fly?”

“The pressure
. But you haven’t had any problems; you’ve been off the steroids for a while. I just worry that it’s such a long flight… Let me think,” she mumbled.

“
Tamara, I want to go home. I want to have my baby at home where my family can come visit, and I worry so much about my Nanny and Pops. When?”

“When do you want to go?”

“I haven’t talked to Matthew yet, so we have some time.”

“Let me think on this
; there’s the pregnancy to consider too.”

~ ~ ~

When Carlee came to the waiting room, Geni noticed a pep in her step and smiled.

“Perfect! Everything is perfect!
” She looked over her shoulder and blew a kiss to the doctor as they went out the door.

“You’re in a good mood, happy!
I like it!”

“What’s not to be happy about?
Everything is perfect, and I’ve gained nine pounds!”

“But you lost a
lmost twenty, right?”

“I’m almost there!”

~ ~ ~

They went up to the flat
, and Matthew was already home. “You’re early!” Carlee said excitedly.

Matthew wrapped her in his arms and whispered
loudly in her ear, “Soon as Mom is gone, I have a secret,” he kissed her neck, and she giggled.

“OK,
OK, I’m heading out,” Geni laughed. “I’ll call you later.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Matthew called out as she went out the door.

“What’s the secret?” Carlee asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and he lifted her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her to the bedroom, setting her on the bed. “Is this the secret?” she laughed, and it was a sound that had him groaning.

“Hold that thought,” he laughed and pulled an envelope from his pocket. Carlee lay back on the pillows and Matthew
straddled and hovered over her as she opened the envelope.

“Wow,
Matthew! Wow!”

“The first royalty check. Carlee, I want to do something special with this…”

“Me too!”

“What have you got in mind?” She ran her hands up his chest and started unbuttoning his shirt.
When she’d unbuttoned his last button, she whipped her own shirt over her head. He buried his face in her neck, kissing her there as his hands found her breasts. “Carlee, I want you.”

“I hope so,” she said as she rolled to her side and slid her
slacks off.

“But wait,
you didn’t tell me what you want.”

Naked, she rolled on top of him
, looked down, and in a sultry voice said, “You know what I want. We can talk about that money later.”

~ ~ ~

“Is it OK for you to be a crazy wild woman like that?” Matthew asked as he attempted to get his breath.

“For a while longer,” she laughed.

“Now, what was your idea about the money?” he asked. “Wild afternoon sex got me all sidetracked.”

“Maybe ‘sidetracked’ is good,” she laughed and maneuvered herself
so she was straddling him.

“Wait,” he laughed. “Talk to me first.”

“I was thinking, with the money from the movie and the start of your career with Diego Aceveda, we could…”

“Go home?”

“Yes Matthew.”

“I told you
when we talked about this before, I can work from anywhere now. But when can you travel?”

“
Tamara is working on it. I begged, and she’s working on it.”

“I have something else to show you.”

Naked, he jumped and ran to get his briefcase. “Check this out,” he said, handing her another piece of paper.

Carlee sat up and scanned the document. She looked at him in question.

“It’s an Epic Award, like an Academy Award for advertising! And we’re in the final five in the glamour category!”

“Awesome! I’m so proud of you!”

“The award ceremony is in May, in Atlanta. I was going to decline my attendance, but now that we could be stateside, will you be my date?”

“How big will I be by then?” she laughed.

“Does it matter? But I gotta tell ya, too much longer, and these babies won’t fit in anything you’ve got!” he laughed, gently massaging her breasts.

“I’m gonna have to start wearing a bra,” she laughed. “Have I told you how much I love you
, Matthew?” she asked, touching him in ways that had him aroused again.