Feels Like Family (26 page)

When he first saw the baby on a sonogram, the last of his anger at the circumstances of the baby’s conception drained away, and he was completely captivated by this child he’d never expected to have. The power that tiny baby had over him was astounding.

They’d agreed they didn’t want to know the sex ahead of time, but Erik was convinced it was a boy. Helen seemed just as convinced it was a girl. They spent hour after hour debating names. Their first list had taken up two pages. Now they’d whittled it down to ten possibilities for a boy and eight for a girl. All of it had made this baby real for him, something he’d vowed not to let happen. He hadn’t wanted to start loving it too much. He hadn’t wanted to start eagerly awaiting the moment when it arrived in this world.

Helen put up with his attentiveness with surprising docility. In fact, as the weeks wore on, her hard edges seemed to fade and she seemed to enjoy being pampered, even if she did regard him with curiosity when he insisted on taking care of the simplest tasks.

Finally, when she was six months along and still in apparently perfect health, she reacted as he’d expected her to react much sooner. She lost patience and openly rebelled at his protectiveness.

“Okay, enough’s enough. What’s going on here?” she
demanded when he’d jumped up to get the pen she said she needed to jot down notes for her closing statement in court in the morning. “You know I can walk across the room for a pen. I’m perfectly capable of getting myself a glass of water, too, even if it does mean I’ll be waddling down the hall to the bathroom ten minutes later. I know Ronnie went a little crazy when Dana Sue was pregnant, and Cal almost drove Maddie insane with his hovering, so I’ve tried to be tolerant. But you’ve taken this to new heights, Erik. Why? It has to stop.”

Erik shook his head. “It’s not going to stop,” he said tersely.

“Then I’ll ask you again, why? It’s not just about me, is it? Or even our baby. There’s something else going on. I guessed that when you took off after Brad shot me. I let you get away with not answering me back then, but I’ve had it. Talk to me.”

Erik wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t blurted out the story long before now. He’d hinted at it back when he’d first found out she was pregnant, but both of them had been so upset that day his comment about his already losing one baby had apparently gone right over her head.

Of course, after Sam had died, everyone had tiptoed around him, not even mentioning her name most of the time, so he’d gotten used to keeping his feelings bottled up inside.

Worse, everyone had pretended the baby had simply never existed, but she had been as real to him as if he’d held her in his arms. He’d felt her stirring in Sam’s belly. Though he’d felt incredibly silly doing it, he’d sung lullabies to her and even read her stories. He knew that she kicked up a storm when Sam ate spicy food and rested peacefully at the sound of his voice.

Even now, nearly seven years later, his emotions were
nearly as raw as they’d been back then, especially lately. He gazed into Helen’s eyes, saw her expectation. She was going to wait him out this time. Keeping quiet about the details of Sam’s death and his child’s was no longer an option, not if they were to have a prayer of making this marriage work.

“You know I was married before,” he began, trying to keep his voice steady.

Helen nodded. “And she died, right?”

“Yes, she died,” he said, his voice strained.

Sympathy washed over her face. “You’ve never said what happened. She had to be so young. Was she sick or in an accident?”

Both were natural assumptions given the age Sam had been when she’d died. Erik hesitated to voice the truth, especially with their own baby due in a few months. The timing for this revelation sucked, but it was no one’s fault but his own.

“I’m not sure I ought to be telling you any of this now,” he began. “It’s the wrong time.”

“I need to know,” she said. “Please.”

Still he hesitated, but her gaze remained steady. The questions clearly weren’t going away. “Okay, here it is. Sam was pregnant. She went into premature labor. She started bleeding and I couldn’t get it stopped. You know I was an EMT, and I was right
there
. I did everything by the book. Everyone said so.”

He closed his eyes, fighting the memory or maybe trying to avoid the worry he was bound to cause her. Finally he forced himself to meet her gaze, prepared for the shock and dismay he would find there once he said the rest. “Before we got to the hospital, she’d already lost too much blood. Nothing I tried worked, and Lord knows, I tried ev
erything. By the time the ambulance came and we got Sam to the hospital, she’d bled to death. We lost the baby, too.”

He felt the same sense of helplessness now. “I know I’m making you a little nuts with my hovering, but I can’t stop it, Helen. I won’t.”

“Oh, Erik, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t even begin to imagine how painful that must have been for you.”

She reached for his hand and pulled him down beside her, then placed his hand on her belly, where their baby was kicking up a storm as if aware that a point needed to be made.

“See, we’re fine,” she told him softly.

Erik stretched out beside her, his hand still resting on her taut stomach.

Not this time,
he pleaded with God.
Don’t let me lose this woman or this child.
Somewhere along the way he’d fallen in love with Helen. This unborn child, like another one, had crept into his heart. He’d started to count on them being a family. If that changed, if he lost them, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to fight his way through the anguish a second time.

A
s she approached her ninth month, Helen felt like a blimp. Her feet were so swollen she couldn’t wear a single pair of the dozens of outrageously expensive shoes in her closet. She’d been wearing a pair of old sneakers with no laces for two weeks now. Fortunately, given the size of her stomach, she couldn’t see the disgusting things.

Indian summer had arrived with a vengeance, dragging on and on until everyone in town was grumbling that they’d be having a heat wave on Valentine’s Day if it kept up. The heat only added to her misery. She was cranky and impossible, which actually seemed to be surprisingly advantageous in most of her divorce negotiations. Either the husbands or the opposing counsel or both were terrified she’d go into labor right before their eyes, or maybe they remembered their own wives’ pregnancies and treated her with a fair amount of respect for her condition. She’d been winning concessions right and left lately.

She had one more court date in Charleston next week and then she’d be sticking close to home ’til the baby arrived. Even now, she was doing her best to rest a lot, primarily because Erik completely freaked out if she didn’t. Now that
she understood what he’d been through, she tried really hard not to add to his stress by doing anything he thought might put her or the baby at risk. And arguing with him only added to her own stress levels, something his constant blood-pressure monitoring had proved time and again.

This morning, though, she’d insisted on lumbering out of bed and walking to The Corner Spa for her meeting with Dana Sue and Maddie. For once Erik hadn’t fought her. He’d showered and walked with her, depositing her at the front door with strict instructions to get a ride to her office or to call him to come and get her.

“I don’t want you walking any more in this heat, understood?”

“Believe me, I’m not the least bit interested in losing another gallon of fluid by walking anywhere once the temperature climbs another couple of degrees,” she told him, then walked inside where the spa’s air-conditioning was pumping away. It was heavenly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then headed for Maddie’s office.

En route, she noticed that the spa was strangely empty. Normally at this hour of the morning, the treadmills were in use and the air was filled with the clanking of weights and the groans of protest from a couple dozen women. Today the only sound she heard was music. Even stranger, it wasn’t the classical music or jazz Maddie preferred, but something from way back, something about “the cutest little baby face.”

When she walked through the door to the café, the room exploded with sound.

“Surprise!”

Helen gasped, stunned that her friends had managed to pull off yet another surprise party for her so soon after her
birthday. She stared at the sea of familiar faces—Maddie and Dana Sue, of course, then Jeanette, Barb, Karen, Tess and a handful of other former clients. It was when she spotted Caroline Holliday that tears sprung to her eyes. It was the first time she’d seen Caroline since the woman had left the hospital and moved to live closer to her sister, taking her two youngest children, both teenagers, with her. She’d told Helen that they hovered around her in a way that worried her.

“I know they’re grieving for their dad and blame themselves for not protecting me,” Caroline had said in a phone conversation a few weeks after she’d left the hospital. “They’re terrified now that something will happen to me and they’ll be all alone. I thought being closer to my sister and her family would help them realize that they will always have people they can count on, but it’s not working.”

Helen had told her about Dr. McDaniels and recommended that she contact the psychologist if things didn’t improve. “She’s great with teenagers. She made all the difference in the world with Dana Sue’s daughter, Annie.”

Now Caroline gave Helen such a huge smile that Helen just knew that things in her life were finally improving. She could hardly wait for a few moments alone with her to hear the latest. Right now, though, a dozen or more faces were watching her expectantly.

“Quick, find her a place to sit,” Maddie said, taking Helen’s arm. “We don’t want her toppling over before she opens presents.”

“Very funny,” Helen said as she sank onto the chaise longue they’d brought in from the patio.

Maddie grinned at her. “You look very regal stretched out there. Okay, what’s your first command? Food or presents?”

“The food better be more interesting than oatmeal, which is all Erik lets me have in the morning,” she grumbled.

Dana Sue chuckled. “I was in charge of the food. What do you think?”

“Then bring it on,” Helen said.

An hour later, she was stuffed from eating Dana Sue’s cheese and mushroom omelet, a half-dozen miniature orange-cranberry muffins and drinking what must have been half a gallon of sweet tea. She’d lumbered to the closest restroom twice and was pretty sure it was almost time for another trip, but the lure of the pile of presents across the room was too much to resist.

“Not yet,” Maddie said, catching the direction of her gaze. “We need to play at least one game.”

“Baby shower games are silly,” Helen said, still eyeing the huge boxes across the room. “I’ve always hated them.”

“Nonetheless, we want you to have the total baby-shower experience,” Dana Sue said. “You’ve waited a long time for this.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Helen said. “Pick one and let’s get it over with.”

Maddie laughed. “Nice to see you’ve mellowed during your pregnancy.”

Helen immediately shut up and dutifully went along while they played some silly guessing game about the size of her stomach and another one involving baby names, none of which would ever be pinned on her child, not if she had anything to say about it!

When they’d finished the second game and she’d made yet another trip to the restroom, Maddie declared it was time for Helen to open the gifts.

“But we all want you to know how difficult you made
things by refusing to find out the sex of the baby ahead of time,” Maddie said.

Helen frowned at her. “In the old days no one ever knew. People still had perfectly successful baby showers. I’m sure you all rose to the occasion.”

Dana Sue handed her the first package and read the card. “This one’s from Tess,” she said.

Helen fingered the elaborate yellow bow. “It’s too beautiful to open.”

Dana Sue rolled her eyes. “You’ve been wanting to get to this part for an hour. Stop dillydallying.”

Helen felt a bit like an overindulged kid opening presents on Christmas morning. She smiled in delight, then tore off the bow and wrapping paper. She lifted the top on the box to find a beautiful christening dress inside. There was no mistaking that the delicate white fabric had been tucked and embroidered by hand. The attention to detail was amazing.

“My mother made it,” Tess said shyly. “We wanted to give you something special for bringing Diego back to me.”

Tears stung Helen’s eyes. “It’s exquisite,” she whispered, her voice choked. “I never expected anything like this. I’d hug you if I could stand up.”

Tess’s eyes shone. “I’m glad you like it. My mother will be pleased.”

“Tell her I am in awe of her skill with a needle,” Helen said. “I want you all to come to the christening, then you can see how the baby looks in this.”

“Now this one,” Dana Sue said, handing her another package. “It’s from Karen.”

This one had three baby rompers in pale green, yellow and lilac. “I thought the lilac might be pushing it if it’s a
boy,” Karen said. “But it was too cute. I thought you had to have it.”

There were more outfits, a hand-knitted baby blanket from Frances and several more practical presents. Caroline Holliday had brought an engraved silver baby cup and matching spoon.

“I know people don’t do that much anymore,” she said. “But even if you never use them, they’re wonderful keepsakes.”

“Oh, trust me, Helen’s baby will use them. There will be no tacky plastic utensils for this child,” Maddie said. “That saying about someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth will fit this child perfectly. I predict he or she’s going to be spoiled rotten. If Helen doesn’t cater to its every whim, Erik will.”

“And why shouldn’t we?” Helen asked. “This is going to be one amazing baby.”

“Which is why Maddie and I bought you this,” Dana Sue said, struggling to fight a smile as she handed Helen another package.

When Helen opened it, she found a book advising parents on how to cope with their gifted child.

“Just in case you find you can’t keep up with the little genius,” Maddie teased.

Helen feigned a frown. “As if,” she retorted.

“Oh, wait, there’s one more thing,” Dana Sue said. She went to the door and called out to Elliott, who’d made himself scarce during this ladies-only function. “Could you bring that other gift in for me?” She grinned at Helen. “It’s from Ronnie and it was too big to wrap, at least in a way that wouldn’t tell you right off what it is.”

A moment later, Elliott came in with a huge, awkwardly
wrapped package, which he set in front of Helen. Then he went to stand behind Karen to watch Helen open it, his hand resting lightly on Karen’s shoulder. Helen noticed Karen glance up at him. The girl’s eyes shone with so much love it made Helen want to weep. Then again, just about everything made her want to weep these days.

Her attention returned to the gift, and she reached for the huge bow and pulled it away, then tore at the paper. Inside was a hand-carved cradle, so beautifully crafted it took her breath away. A parade of tiny ducks that almost looked alive decorated the headboard. Each spindle on the side was equally delicate. And at the foot of the cradle, a mama duck and a papa rested close together, their obviously loving gazes directed toward their brood at the opposite end of the cradle.

Everyone in the room erupted in
oohs
and
aahs
at the sight of it, Helen’s gaze flew to Dana Sue. “Wasn’t this Annie’s cradle?” she asked.

Dana Sue shook her head. “No, we’re keeping that one for her, but it’s just like it. Ronnie said it was the one thing he ever did that you seemed to approve of, and so he wanted you to have one. He’s been carving it for months now, ever since we found out about the baby. He knew how much you loved the one he did before Annie was born.”

Yet again, Helen’s eyes welled with tears. She and Ronnie hadn’t always gotten along. In fact, they’d been at serious odds after he’d cheated on Dana Sue, but Helen’s attitude toward him had mellowed once she’d finally seen how much he still loved Dana Sue and his daughter and the lengths he’d been willing to go toin order to get them back. That he would make something this thoughtful and amazing for her child proved that he was ready to put their differences behind them, as well.

“Warn him I’m going to kiss the daylights out of him when I see him,” Helen told Dana Sue, who was beaming proudly.

“I think he’s counting on it,” Dana Sue said. “Just don’t get too carried away or I’ll have to kill you.”

Helen leaned back on the chaise longue, overcome with emotion. “I don’t know how to thank you all, not just for all the presents, but for sticking by me. I know I can be a pain sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” Dana Sue taunted.

“Most of the time,” Maddie chimed in.

“But we love you,” Dana Sue added. “Always.”

“And the rest of us might not be daredevil, troublemaking Sweet Magnolias, but we love you, too,” Caroline Holliday told her. “And we are so grateful that you’ve been there for us when we’ve needed you.”

“Amen to that,” Tess said quietly.

It was the first time Helen really realized just how deeply she’d touched the lives of some of the people she’d worked for over the years. For her it had been mostly a job she was determined to do well, but for some of the women in this room, she’d actually changed their lives for the better.

And to think, there were so many more wonderful years to come.

Karen was all too aware that nothing Elliott had said and none of the overtures she’d made had accomplished anything with Maria Cruz or her daughters. Their continued disapproval of Elliott’s relationship with her was starting to take a toll. Just last night they’d fought about it again when Karen had refused to attend a Cruz family gathering.

Earlier in the day she and Elliott had been so close dur
ing that moment at Helen’s shower when she’d opened the cradle from Dana Sue and Ronnie. He’d squeezed her shoulder in a gesture she’d known meant he was thinking of a time in the future when they would have their own child on the way, when they would be as joyous as Helen and Erik were now.

Later, though, when he’d told her about the dinner his mother had planned for that evening, Karen had balked. Nothing Elliott had said could persuade her to change her mind. Surely he had to see that things were far from perfect in their world. Sooner or later his mother would find some way to destroy what they had.

“I won’t subject myself or my children to another night of being treated like second-class citizens,” Karen had finally said.

“We have to keep trying,” Elliott had replied reasonably. “Otherwise, what? You’re going to cut them out of our lives?”

“Not
our
lives,” she’d said. “Mine. They’re your family. I would never ask you to avoid them.”

He’d frowned at her then. “That’s no solution.”

“It works for me. What’s the alternative? Do you have one?”

He hadn’t been able to offer one and eventually he’d gone on to the dinner at his mother’s house without her.

Karen knew they couldn’t go on like this. Elliott was too close to his family and he loved her too much. Eventually, if they couldn’t come to some kind of accord, it would tear him apart. She’d break things off with him before it came to that.

But first, maybe there was one thing she could try that she hadn’t. Dressing in her one good dress after she’d taken the kids to school and day care, she spent extra time on her hair and makeup, then grabbed her purse and drove
across town to the comfortable old Victorian house where Elliott and his sisters had grown up under Maria Cruz’s watchful eye.