Female Ejaculation (37 page)

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Authors: Somraj Pokras

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PHYSICAL PATHWAYS TO ORGASM
“Before I understood how to open with you, I tried giving you orgasms so I knew I was a good lover. But now, all I want is your surrender. I want your heart’s pleasure to ripple through your open body and saturate my life with your love. Your body’s openness to love’s flow draws me into you, and through your heart’s surrender, I am opened to the love that lives as the universe. Whether you have an orgasm or not while we make love, your body’s trust and devotional openness is my secret doorway to love’s deepest bliss.”
—
FROM
DEAR LOVER
BY DAVID DEIDA
THAT EXPLOSIVE BLAZE OF GLORY
You probably experience sex the way most people do — as tension release. The average lover builds up sexual tension in the body when they get turned on. Untrained lovers too often treat lovemaking as a way to relieve this pressure. These mini-explosions release energy quickly in a few seconds of pleasure, sometimes with a big wet spot of the male seminal variety.
There’s nothing wrong with a hot quickie now and then. You know we revere pleasure in all its forms. It’s just that explosive orgasm, especially for men when accompanied by ejaculation, often drains lovers of their vital energy, not to mention their interest or ability in continuing sexual play.
Of course, if you’ve ever had an earth-shattering mind-blowing consciousness-altering explosion, you’ll surely enjoy repeating it. So,
before we consider transcendent experiences, we’re going to directly celebrate the pathways to explosive climax.
TREAT THE CLITORIS RIGHT — IT’S WORTH IT!
How many lovers struggle with achieving just a single orgasm? Women often struggle to have one. Many men work hard to control themselves to prevent squirting too soon, so that their partner can reach the peak at least once. We can’t count the number of clients of each gender who couldn’t achieve orgasm anymore after they had started to take new medications.
In this journey to higher ecstasy, you can achieve great benefits by studying your patterns, pathways, and triggers of sexual climax. Both men and women can more easily experience orgasm and ejaculation, separate the two, and choose which they want when.
Though women can experience orgasm in many ways, clitoris stimulation is typically the fast track to one or more releases. We agree with Kinsey and Masters and Johnson that this is the primary sexual arousal pathway most women receive. It has the densest nerves, responds quickly, and is easily accessible. During self-pleasuring, oral play, and even most intercourse, the clitoris plays the major part.
One drawback to clitoris play is that having the correct approach is crucial. Many a clitoris is shy, hiding under its protective hood, making it difficult to discover. Many are super-sensitive, so much so that direct contact too soon can be shocking and even painful.
THE SYMPTOMS OF EXPLOSIVE ORGASMS
Don’t get us wrong. Clitoris play is wonderful and a vital part of loveplay because it’s been known to spark fabulous orgasms. But let’s look deeper into the mechanics of a clitoris-induced explosion.
Orgasm occurs when muscle tension is released at the peak of excitement accompanied by about a dozen pulsating involuntary muscle contractions in your pelvis. Your face, arms, legs, stomach, and butt contract. Your skin suddenly gets flushed so that you’re suffused with warmth all over. Suddenly, it feels as if everything stops.
As you’re overwhelmed with an intense flood of sexual pleasure, you lose touch with the outside world for a moment.
SINGLE CLITORIS-GASMS
The single female clitoris-induced orgasm lasts from 4 to 19 seconds and is accompanied by rhythmic, rapid one-second clenches of the outer third of the vagina, the part nearest the opening. The PC muscles, which surround the vagina’s walls an inch or two inside the opening, tighten and pulsate.
In contrast, the deep portion of the vagina tents during this kind of orgasm, enlarging its inner two-thirds and lifting up into the body along with the uterus. It feels as if a finger or penis inserted deep inside the vagina is being squeezed at the outside end, while the inside or top of the vagina noticeably loosens and widens.
Some describe clitoral orgasms as intense and others not so much. Many report orgasms can be achieved quicker with clitoris play than with intercourse. Though clitoris orgasms can be intense and spread throughout the body, women often describe them as more superficial than deeper G-spot climaxes.
After an orgasm, the clitoris may retract and once again hide under its hood. If you found the clitoris sensitive at the start of play, you’ll be amazed at how much more delicate your contact has to be after orgasm. That is, if it can stand to be touched at all for a while.
PRACTICE:
SOLO CLITORAL ORGASM
In earlier practices we encouraged you to simply explore and find out what feels good. There, we guided you to play with all the pleasure you could conjure. Here, we encourage you to go even further over the top.
1.
PREPARE WITH THE FIVE S’S
Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling.
Arrange yourself nude in a comfortable reclining position with legs spread and propped on pillows or leaning against your bed headboard. Use pads or towels in case you’re worried about soaking the bed. You may want to do this practice in front of a full-length or hand mirror.
2.
TOUCHING
Begin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing yourself. Start at the perimeter and circle toward the vagina: legs, thighs, face, neck, tummy, and breasts. Take your time and enjoy. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.
3.
THE VULVA
Touch your vulva gently and lovingly in the manner you prefer. As your tissues begin to warm and open, add whatever lubricant you prefer.
4.
THE CLITORIS
Awaken your clitoris with soft, slow circles and straight strokes on the shaft and sides. Try clockwise and counterclockwise, up strokes, and down strokes. Vary your speed. Going too fast for too long can make your clitoris numb, so experiment with different moves, fingers, and positions to discover what feels best. Some women really like to gently squeeze the clitoris between the thumb and forefinger. Try moving your thumb and forefinger in opposite directions on the sides of the clitoris with varying speeds and pressures.
5.
MORE
As you get turned on, continue experimenting by modifying the speed, pressure, and directness of your strokes on the clitoris. Always go in the direction of what feels good.
6.
ORGASMIC BREATHING
Use the four cornerstones of orgasmic breathing to spread sexual energy around your body and intensify the sensations of pleasure.
7.
ORGASM
Get as high as you want by filling your pleasure balloon with delicious energy. When you’re ready, go for a big explosion with full consciousness. Then, relax as much as you can. Watch what happens inside and out, and enjoy!
8.
CLOSING
When you decide to end your session, relax gradually, and slow down your movements. We really like the energy connection of one hand on the vagina and one hand on your heart at this point. Reflect on what worked best and what you discovered about your body.
PRACTICE:
PARTNER CLITORAL ORGASM
We just adjusted the instructions of the Solo Clitoral Orgasm practice so that you may guide your lover to do all the work.
1.
PREPARE WITH THE FIVE S’S
Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling.
Begin with the Partnering Questions:
1. What are your intentions for this practice?
2. What are your concerns or worries?
3. What are your boundaries, both physically and psychologically?
Arrange yourself nude in a warm room and in a comfortable reclining position. Prop yourself up on pillows or lean against your bed headboard. Make sure you can spread your legs to allow your partner full access to your clitoris and vagina. Use pads or towels to guarantee that you won’t worry about soaking the bed.
2.
TOUCHING
Ask you lover to begin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing you. Take your time and enjoy. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling. A good partner will gently remind you if you forget. The most important thing is to stay focused on your pleasure.
3.
THE VULVA
Ask your giver to touch your vulva gently and lovingly. As your vagina begins to warm and open, ask your lover to add the lubricant you prefer.
4.
THE CLITORIS
Ask your giver to awaken your clitoris with soft, slow circles and straight strokes on the shaft and sides. Gently and lovingly, give your lover guidance and feedback to learn your preferences for clitoris stimulation. Remember to use the Feedback Sandwich (compliment, change, acknowledge.)
5.
MORE
As you become turned on, guide your giver to modify the strokes to please your clitoris to the maximum. This may include increasing the strength and speed of the stroke or varying it as you wish. Play with the speed. It can make an enormous difference!
6.
ORGASMIC BREATHING
Use the four cornerstones of orgasmic breathing to spread sexual energy around your body and intensify the sensations of pleasure. The more you integrate breathing, moving, and sounding in this way, the fewer words you’ll need to use to communicate to your giver. Your responses will be obvious.
7.
ORGASM
Use the energy you’re generating to fill your pleasure balloon and take you higher and higher. When you’re ready, and with your partner’s cooperation, go for a big explosion. Watch if it feels any different from the solo experience.
8.
CLOSING
When you decide to end your session, relax gradually, and slow down your movements. We really like the energy connection of the giver placing one hand on the receiver’s vagina, and one hand on her heart at this point.
Be sure you acknowledge each other, and give feedback. This is a time for expanding your awareness and sharing it with one another. Reflect what was best and what you discovered.
MULTIPLE EXPLOSIVE ORGASM
After a single explosive orgasm, sexual excitement declines steadily to the rest state before arousal occurs again. The release of tension is relaxing. After ejaculation, men often fall asleep, and some women have a similar reduction in their energy.
SINGLE ORGASM
However, with the right attitude and action, there’s no reason why you can’t experience multiple occurrences of the single explosive orgasm. After one, your excitement will naturally dip a bit. By continuing or resuming effective stroking as soon as you’re ready, you can have another climax at the same level as the previous one.
During multiple orgasm, a lover’s finger or penis inside the vagina would feel about 10 seconds of contractions, then no contractions while you pause as long as you need, then another 10 seconds of contractions after more stroking, and so on. Many lovers report that this cycle can be repeated many times.
MULTIPLE ORGASM
PRACTICE:
MULTIPLE CLITORAL ORGASM
You liked one. Want to go for more? Here’s your chance.
1.
REPEAT
Repeat steps 1 through 7 of the Solo Clitoral Orgasm Practice until you reach a big explosion.
2.
CONTINUE
As soon as the receiver wants her clitoris touched again, continue stroking and massaging it. Go for another explosive experience.
3.
EXPERIMENT
If multiple clitoral orgasms don’t come easily for you, experiment with different uses of the four cornerstones of supreme bliss. PC pumps and energy visualizations may especially help. Test out varied strokes to see if different kinds of stimulation make multiple climaxes more possible.
4.
PARTNER MULTIPLES
Teach a partner what you learned solo. Then you can lay back, relax, and enjoy a string of clitoris explosions without doing much. This is the kind of love and adoration you deserve!
5.
CLOSING
Close your sacred space as appropriate. Hold each other, cuddle, spoon, etc.

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