Fever (23 page)

“See, you need it too. What’s so damn important that you’d deny both of us a little pleasure? It’s not like I’m asking for a lifetime commitment.”

Zak started to answer but couldn’t find any words. Nothing made sense anymore. She turned away but Sara snuggled tight against her. Their body heat seeped through their sleeping bags. “What are you doing?”

“If you won’t relieve my suffering, I’ll have to do it myself. Can I at least touch you?”

Zak didn’t respond as Sara placed one arm around her and stroked steadily between her legs with the other. Their bodies were so close that each time Sara’s hand came up from her crotch, it rubbed against Zak’s ass. The motion made her clit twitch in her hand where she cupped it for control. She eased her ass backward, tighter against Sara’s pumping hand, tweezed her clit between two fingers, and pulled to Sara’s rhythm. She tried to keep her body still so Sara wouldn’t know how badly she needed relief.

“That’s it, baby,” Sara whispered into her neck, “that’s my hand teasing you, making you rock hard. You want to come. I can smell your need. It’s okay.”

Her pretense having failed, she pulled Sara’s free hand across her breast and clamped it down hard. She plunged a finger into the wet folds of her sex and rubbed it across her painfully swollen clit, imagining Sara’s mouth on her. Pinching the head of her clit between her fingernails, she fantasized Sara’s teeth scraping across the tip. She pulled the engorged flesh between her fingers faster and harder until a spasm exploded in her crotch.

Sara’s voice was strained and pleading. “I’m coming with you. Please don’t stop.” The tremors racked Zak’s body forward and back. She shoved her ass against Sara’s hand and heard her soft cry of release. As the ripples of pleasure flowed through her body, Zak tried to remember the last time she’d climaxed so quickly or so hard with anyone. When the last wave of orgasm subsided, she knew the answer: never. And Sara had done it while barely touching her.

“Now you don’t have to feel guilty, right?”

Zak thought about Sara’s statement and wondered if that was what she needed, plausible deniability. If they didn’t actually have sex, she was off the hook, emotionally. But the nagging voice in the back of her mind suggested that was semantics, just splitting hairs. Sara nuzzled closer to Zak, her hand still covering a breast. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“Me too,” Zak murmured, as sadness tainted her pleasure. Did Sara only want sex? The question hovered while she drifted into a deep slumber.

Sara lay awake until Zak’s breathing settled into the regular cadence of sleep. It was the first time she’d seen Zak really sleep, not just rest her eyes while listening. The fact that she was sleeping while wrapped in her arms made Sara feel special.

Zak’s right arm was crossed over her chest and her hand rested on her shoulder. Sara wiggled closer and inhaled the musky fragrance of sex on her fingers. Another ripple of desire surged through her. Sara was tempted to lick the nectar from her fingers but was afraid she might disturb Zak. How could just a smell excite her again? Because it was Zak’s smell, her very essence.

She hugged Zak and tried to dispel the romantic thoughts and the tantalizing effects they had on her body. Zak had maintained distance by not actually having sex with her, but then indicated that it wasn’t just sex. What had she meant? Their nonverbal agreement for mutual masturbation required some level of trust. Perhaps Sara was breaking through to her after all. But to what end? The answer was immediately sobering.
Because I’m in love with her
.

Sara rolled away from Zak and covered her eyes with her arm. That was impossible. The pain over Rikki’s deception had simply made her more susceptible than normal. She didn’t even know Zak Chambers beyond the secrecy that surrounded her like a protective shield, the angry vendetta she nurtured as a life goal, and the rabid aversion to feelings. But Sara had never denied her gut instincts, and love was simply not rational. She was in love with Zak, but that was only half the journey.

She snuggled up to Zak’s back again, draped her arm over her waist, and whispered, “Please come with me on this journey, my love. I can’t take it without you.”

*

“Ebony, you in there? Come out,” Ben whispered loudly outside Sara’s tent.

Zak awoke feeling completely rested. Sara was still spooning her backside, her arm draped over Zak’s waist. The position and the fact that it was Sara next to her made Zak want to stay exactly where she was. Their activities the night before came back full force and Zak felt a jumble of emotions. Something about Sara touched her intimately, touched her heart. Sara made her want things she’d never imagined she could have. She was tempted to kiss her before she left but wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop with that.

She moved slowly, trying not to disturb the amber-haired angel next to her. As she slid from her sleeping bag and dressed, the smell of sex floated from inside, reminding her that last night had not been a dream. She wanted Sara again, but this time completely. If they kissed once more, she wouldn’t be able to settle for a hand job unless it was Sara’s hand.

She tiptoed to the flap, quietly unzipped it, and stepped outside. The sun was already high in the morning sky and the day’s heat had started to build. Ben had walked to the riverbank and was standing with his hands on his hips looking into the murky water. “What’s up?”

“It is late. You never sleep late.” He stopped as if giving her a chance to explain. She didn’t. “The men will not come today.”

“Why?”

“Walk with me.” Ben led her toward the perimeter of the camp. On the outside of the thorn bush fence the ground was sprayed with blood and the remnants of a recent kill. “This was last night.”

“I heard the lions. We checked the fence before I went to bed. It was secure.”

“The animals should not be so close to camp. The reserve is farther north. Look.” He pointed to a stripped skin half buried in the sand.

Zak grabbed a stick from the ground and poked in the remains. She turned the hide of the animal over and suddenly understood Ben’s concern. “This was a cow.”

“This is why the men will not come. Joey says a lion has escaped the reserve and is hunting cattle. They will stay with the herds.”

Zak understood all too well the ramifications of this news. Cattle were the measure of wealth and position in pastoral tribes. Protecting their herds was the main priority. Until the lion was captured and returned to the reserve, the men would not work on the school.

“Zak, Ben?” Sara’s voice still carried the soft, dreamy timbre of sleep.

“Go to her,” Ben said. “I will cover this. No need to worry her.”

As Zak walked back toward the tents, she wished she’d gotten carcass-covering duty. She wasn’t looking forward to facing Sara after their night of non-sex, sort of sex, whatever they had. What could she say? Nothing had changed except her feelings. She felt rawer, more exposed than yesterday. But her life was still a mess of secrecy and lies, not something she could offer anyone as a gift, especially not Sara.

“Good morning, where is everybody?” She looked around the camp and back the way Zak had come. “Did I miss breakfast? I’m starved.” Sara acted as if nothing had happened between them. Her eyes didn’t linger suggestively over Zak’s body. She made no attempt to touch her. Her voice was not heavy with innuendo. Maybe Zak had overreacted, placed too much emphasis on their liaison. Perhaps Sara truly only wanted sex, to purge the passion. She’d even said, “Just once. I have to get you out of my system or I’ll explode.” The possibility left Zak inexplicably unsettled.

“The men are taking a few days off, trouble with their herds. We haven’t had breakfast yet. Everybody slept late.”

Ben walked up proudly displaying a handful of bird eggs. “Fresh. Anybody hungry?”

“Starved,” Sara repeated, and started helping Ben with preparations. “I guess it’s just as well we’re taking a break. I have to be in Nairobi tomorrow. Rikki is coming.” She paused for a moment as if reshuffling ideas in her mind. “Does this mean we can leave today? I could use an extra day in the city. You know, shopping or whatever I do,” she teased Zak.

Zak felt a stitch of something foreign in her gut and opened her mouth to speak, but changed her mind. What could she say? Rikki was still Sara’s lover, in name, and she had no right to express an opinion about it. Then she remembered her own plans in Nairobi. “I have to meet someone as well.” Sara’s expression shifted. For a moment Zak thought she saw a flash of anger, but just as quickly it was gone. “Ben, why don’t you take the weekend off? Find a couple more guys to guard the camp and go home for a few days.”

“Maybe, or maybe I have the family come here. Like a vacation for them.”

They ate their late breakfast in relative silence. Ben kept looking back and forth from Zak to Sara with a shy smile but never commented. Afterward, they policed the camp and secured everything that wasn’t going with them.

Zak grabbed her rucksack and crammed it full of clothes, fresh and dirty. There would be time to have laundry done in the city now that they had an extra day. River water just didn’t clean as well as she liked. She helped Sara put her bags in the back of the truck as they said their good-byes to Ben.

“Take good care, Miss Sara. Drive safe, Ebony, the rains come soon.” He looked toward the sky and pointed to a gathering of fluffy white clouds in the distance.

As the two trucks departed in separate directions, light sprinkles of rain dotted the dust-coated windshield. “This should be fun,” Zak said.

“What do you mean?” Sara looked at her like she was trying to decide if Zak’s comment was serious or sarcastic and whether it referred to an extra day in Nairobi alone with her or the weather.

“You’re in for a treat. You’ve never been in an African downpour in the bush. It makes the roads thick, slick, and sticky as porridge.”

“Sounds yummy. It’ll be a change from the breath-sucking heat.” They both laughed and some of the tension between them dissipated.

They’d been driving for almost an hour, chatting amicably about the scenery and an occasional animal, when Zak’s phone rang. “Hello.”

“Stewart here. I’ve got the information you requested but didn’t want to send it by text. There should probably not be a written record to trace. The residential coordinates you gave me belong to the Kenyan minister of education. Whatever you’re into over there, drop it.”

“Thanks for the info. I’ll have to get back to you.”

“Ambrosini is with you. Just as well, because I need you to listen for a change. I don’t like how this is adding up. First you want information about landholders in the district, now you’re following people to the homes of government officials. Do not pursue this, whatever it is. If it affects the school project, that’s not your concern. Walk away and do it now. Your job is over. You were hired to get that woman safely to the district. She’s there. Come home. Do you understand what I’m saying, Ebony?”

“Yes, but I can’t do that.”

“You bloody well can. She can sort out her own building problems, probably better without your help. You’re just using her to camouflage your vendetta against Wachira. If you want to help her, get out.”

Stewart’s words stabbed at Zak’s heart like only the truth could. He was mostly right. Sara could probably handle the project just as well without her, and Zak’s feud was putting her in unnecessary danger. But it was too late to back out. She was no longer certain why. It was either her driving hatred of Wachira or her developing feelings for Sara or both.

“Did you hear me, Ebony? Come home, now.”

“I can’t.” She ended the call to a string of Stewart’s expletives.

Sara looked at her questioningly. “That didn’t sound very friendly.”

“Just business, and it’s seldom friendly.”

“Tell me about it. I can be a good listener.” When Zak gave her a teasing look, Sara continued. “I’m quite capable of keeping my mouth shut long enough to listen to a friend’s problems. It sometimes helps to bounce things off an uninvolved party. Just the other day when I called home, the housekeeper was going on about her family’s— I’m doing it again, babbling, aren’t I? Not a very good recommendation for a listener, but try me anyway.”

“I can’t talk to you about my work.”

A glimmer of understanding flashed across Sara’s face. “Is that what all the secrecy is about, your job? Is that why you’re so guarded and unwilling to share yourself?”

“Partly, and that’s all I can say.”

“It’s not, really. Here’s how it works. I share something with you and then it’s your turn.” Sara’s joking tone became more serious as her attempts to convince Zak were shot down one by one. “I can be the epitome of discretion, and you can trust me.”

“No.” Zak purposely sounded gruff and inflexible. She wanted to relay that no matter how discreet or trustworthy Sara was, it wasn’t safe to share her life with her. But how could she say that without saying it?

“Of course you can trust me, unless you’re a hired assassin or maybe a corporate spy.”

The look on Zak’s face must have revealed more than she intended because Sara’s mouth dropped open but nothing came out. The shock and pain in her eyes was disturbing.

“Sara, please don’t jump to conclusions. I’m not confirming or denying anything, but if either of those were true, can’t you see why I couldn’t tell you? It could be dangerous for you to know anything about me.”