Fever (22 page)

“You shouldn’t be out here alone.” Imani had approached silently and stood close to Sara’s back. “Ebony is concerned for you.”

Sara wiped the tears from her face and turned too quickly, her balance faltering. Imani’s hands on her waist steadied her. The touch was soft and gentle, but Sara’s mind boiled with questions whose time had come. “Why do you call her Ebony?”

If her inquiry surprised Imani, it didn’t register on her flawless face. Her golden eyes locked on Sara’s as if measuring her intentions. “As children we three played together. When Ben was old enough to herd, she followed, learning the ways of men. I did not understand.”

Sadness shadowed Imani’s bright eyes as she spoke, the memory obviously painful. “Her body was like mine but the men accepted her as equal. She was light on the outside but rich and black inside like my people, like the ebony tree. So I called her as Ebony.”

The story touched Sara and she asked, “Why did it make you sad?”

“She did things I was not allowed with my people, men’s work.” Imani paused as though trying to decide if she should say more. “But then she came to me as a man.”

“As a man?”

“She wanted me as men do.”

Sara heard the soft gasp escape her lips. The star-laden sky seemed to spin above her as Imani’s words registered. The connection she’d sensed between them was real. All the beer she’d consumed soured in her stomach and her head pounded with the new information. Too much information, but she couldn’t stop.

“Are you in love with Zak?”

“For years.” The answer was immediate and definitive. “But—”

“I can’t hear any more, please.” Sara ran toward her tent, almost charging into Zak on her way past the campfire.

Zak had been watching Sara and Imani as they chatted near the thorn perimeter, and her anxiety grew. They seemed intense, and she wanted to know what the conversation was about. When Sara ran past, Zak tried to grab her but she shook off the hold. “Sara. What’s wrong?” Her eyes were wet with tears and dark with pain. She couldn’t imagine what Imani said to elicit such a response. She stood outside the tent and called in, “Sara, will you talk to me?”

“Not now. Go away, Zak.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Please, Zak, leave me alone.”

Zak was tempted to rip open the flap and go inside, to confront Sara and clear up whatever misconception had occurred, but her voice had turned hard and cold. Like a cornered animal that sends out warning signals, Sara was clearly not in the mood to be approached.

“Okay, we’ll talk tomorrow. Good night.”

Zak found Imani still standing beside the barricade. “What happened with Sara? She’s pretty upset.”

“She cares for you deeply, Ebony.”

Zak kicked a clump of dry earth and the dust exploded across the toe of her shoe. “I’m afraid you’re right, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Do you care for her?”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. Nothing can happen. She has no idea who I really am or what I do for a living.”

“Maybe it is time to tell her.”

“Nice thought, but no. Now stop avoiding my question. What upset her?”

“She asked questions she did not want answered.”

“Imani, I love you but sometimes you can be very frustrating. What did you say to her?”

“She asked if I am in love with you and I said yes.”

Zak’s toe-tapping ended. “You said what?” Her heart seemed to have stopped. She remembered their childhood together and the bonds of trust they developed through play. The teenage phase had been more difficult as she gravitated toward men’s work and Imani learned the tribal ways of women. And then the year Imani pointed out that Zak’s feelings for her were more than mere friendship. The most difficult revelation had been that Imani couldn’t return her love. “But you’re not in love with me. You’ve been very clear about that.”

“My feelings for you were very powerful, but I could not go against the teachings of my people. It was forbidden.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Zak held Imani’s hands and gazed into the cat-like eyes. “Rejection like that is pretty tough when you’re as young as I was and just coming out.”

“If I told you of my feelings, you would have stayed, tried to convince me to go away with you. I had to remain here, to help my tribe. Your parents taught me that.”

“But
you
left. You ran from me.” Zak was trying to understand what happened.

“I went to university, to learn and teach the children. I did not run from you. I learned that I have choices.”

“And now?”

“And now I am too late. The fire in your eyes is not for me.”

Zak started to object, to deny Imani’s assumption, but the words died on the tip of her tongue. She had grieved the loss of this beautiful woman for years before allowing herself to move on. What she felt for her now was the love of a best friend or a sister.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Imani covered her lips with her fingers. “Do not dishonor our bond with false words. The truth lives in your eyes as you look at Sara. But now she thinks we are lovers. She did not let me finish.”

“That would explain a lot.”

“Do one thing for me, Ebony?”

“Anything.”

“Do not wait too long as I have done and lose the one you love.”

As Zak watched Imani walk back toward camp, she wondered if she was right. Was she in love with Sara? The thought created shards of excitement and fear fighting for dominance throughout her body.

After the party crowd dispersed, Zak nestled into her sleeping bag outside the door of Sara’s tent. She heard soft sobs from inside and toyed with trying to talk to Sara again, but the memory of her dismissive tone changed her mind. Was it possible that Sara cared for her as Imani said? Their kiss had certainly been intense and Sara wanted more, but that could’ve merely been a way of getting back at Rikki for her infidelity. A loud guttural growl pierced the night silence and Sara whimpered inside the tent.

The sound of big cats taking down prey was very close to the perimeter of camp, too close. Zak tossed the sleeping bag aside and located the two night guards. They walked the fence together, checking for possible breaches in the line. Satisfied they were as secure as possible, she headed back to bed. She shook her sleeping bag to dislodge any creeping invaders and prepared to step into it.

“Zak?” Sara’s voice was small and scared, even though she stood very near at the opening of the tent. “What’s going on out there?”

“Nocturnal hunters, go back to sleep.” The red puffy eyes that shone in the moonlight indicated that she probably hadn’t been sleeping at all.

“I can’t.” She stood tentatively in the doorway with the sleeping bag clutched around her waist. Her V-neck sleeping shirt plunged between her breasts, revealing the inviting cleavage Zak had admired so often. “Would you sleep in here, just for tonight? I’d feel better. Those noises were too close.”

Zak hesitated, looking from her sleeping bag to Sara and back.

“Bring your bed.”

“Okay.” Zak obediently lifted her bed roll and rearranged it just inside the door.

“Over here by me. I won’t bite, at least not as hard as whatever’s out there.”

She spread her sleeping bag a couple of feet away from Sara’s and climbed in. The fragrance of Sara’s sweet perfume wafted her way, causing an involuntary spasm low in her abdomen. She had turned on her side to face the opposite direction when an animal’s death wail and the ripping of flesh disrupted the quiet. Sara moved closer and stretched along her backside.

“Talk to me or something. I can’t bear to hear that.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Once the question was out, Zak was afraid of the answer. But the fear in Sara’s voice made her willing to do anything necessary to erase it.

“I don’t care. I just need to hear your voice.”

“We’re safe. The fact that the lions have actually found prey makes us less likely to be a target.” She didn’t reveal that the lions should not have been hunting this close to camp since the game reserve was a few miles away. “Besides, the guards are well equipped to protect us. Animals in the wild prefer—”

“Zak, look at me.”

She turned and did as Sara asked. The faint moon glow that permeated the tent reflected in the sad brown of her eyes.

“Are you and Imani lovers?”

“What?” She hadn’t expected such a direct question, but this was Sara Ambrosini. If nothing else, she’d learned that Sara asked questions when she wanted answers, etiquette and protocol be damned.

“She said she’s in love with you. Are you in love with her?”

“I love Imani very deeply.”

Sara started to turn away. “That’s all I need to know.”

“No, it isn’t. You didn’t let me or Imani finish.”

“I also have a lover, such as she is, so I have no right to even ask the question. You just make me so unbelievably crazy. I’ve never been around a woman who pisses me off and turns me on at the same time. And I can’t seem to stop it.”

Sara’s words infused Zak with desire and discomfiture. Her willingness to put herself so totally on the line made Zak want to reassure her. But she was in no position to promise Sara anything, regardless of how she felt. She wasn’t free to love her and she certainly didn’t intend to place her in danger by involving her in the feud with Wachira and the Company’s clandestine life she was forced to live. “Sara, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s my problem.”

“Please, let me explain at least?” When Sara nodded, she continued. “I was in love with Imani years ago, when she helped me realize I was a lesbian, but she couldn’t return my love. The lifestyle is taboo here. I never knew she shared my feelings until tonight.”

“So what happens now? She’s obviously still in love with you.”

“It’s too late. Too much has happened, and we’re different people. I have nothing to offer her or…”

“Or anyone else?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

Sara stroked the side of Zak’s face and she craved more. “Do you think so little of yourself, Zak?”

“It’s not about that.”

“Then you’re not attracted to me? You feel nothing when I touch you?”

The inside of Zak’s sleeping bag suddenly felt like the relentless heat of a day in the desert. Her temperature rose with each touch of Sara’s hand, her pulse quickened, and her crotch ached and dripped with the evidence of her arousal. “That’s definitely not it.”

“What’s the problem then?”

Sara’s mouth was close to hers and she wanted to kiss her so badly her insides tensed. “I told you, I don’t have anything to offer.”

“Offer me sex. Surely that won’t be too unpleasant. That’s all I ask, just once. I have to get you out of my system or I’ll explode. Please.”

Her words were like an accelerant on fire. The more she talked, the more they fanned the flames in Zak’s body. Sex she could do. She’d done it often enough with marks. She’d just close her eyes and imagine it as another job. Besides, that’s what Sara was, a job. A pang of something akin to conscience urged her to reconsider, but Sara was too compelling.

Her mouth was on Sara’s before the thought fully formed. Their tongues sought each other in a hungry battle, their lips pressed almost painfully together. She pulled their lunging bodies closer and they joined in a rhythmic coupling, the sleeping bags between them irritatingly restrictive. Sara stripped Zak’s T-shirt over her head and cupped her breasts. Her breath was hot against tender flesh as she hovered, admiring. “God, you are gorgeous. They feel better than I remember.” She lowered her mouth and sucked a hard nipple inside her hot lips.

Zak arched toward her, the pain shooting straight to her clit. Her hips thrust to each eager pull of Sara’s mouth. She needed more contact. The bedding between them was too thick.

“Oh, Zak, I need you so much. Get out of these things.”

“I need you so much.”
Gwen’s pleading words reverberated over and over in Zak’s mind. She’d hurt Gwen and every other woman she’d ever bedded because she couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to them. Now it was Sara’s turn. The thought was like a cold shower, shocking and exhilarating.
I can’t do this to her. She’s different. I can’t use her this way.

“Sara, stop.” Her breast popped loudly from Sara’s pursed lips as she pulled away. “Stop, please. This isn’t right.”

“No, Zak.” The pumping of Sara’s hips intensified as Zak tried to move from under her. “Please don’t do this. I know you want it.” Her eyes, heavy with desire, bored into Zak’s. Her lips sought Zak’s mouth again. “I won’t ask anything more of you. It’s only sex.”

“No, it’s not.” With one forceful heave, Zak pushed Sara off her and onto the floor. “I won’t do this to you.”

Sara lay on her back, staring at her with hungry eyes, her hands clamped between her legs. “I really wish you would. I’m so close. Do you know how much that hurts?”

Zak had been so preoccupied with her nightmarish thoughts that she’d momentarily disconnected from her physical body. The question revived the sexual tension that ravaged her body and she flinched.