Few Are Angels (22 page)

Kale’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Sorry for what?” He lifted himself completely off me and offered to help me up. I was disappointed and relieved the best kiss of my life was over.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I should have known better than to take advantage of you after asking you to remember an event such as that.” Kale moved to the other side of the room.

How could he have felt as if he’d taken advantage of me when I was the one who kissed him? Kale’s demeanor upset me and threatened to ruin an almost perfect moment. We had enough challenges to face, and I didn't want one to be his uncertainty of my desires.

“You didn't take advantage of me, Kale. Why would you say that?” I needed to explain to Kale. “I just got nervous, that’s why I stopped. I've never…” I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. Not only was the moment ruined, but I’d just mortified myself.

Kale glanced at the clock. If he sent me home after what’d just happened, I’d freak out. He started to pace. “Still, I shouldn’t have let it go so far. But you do something to me that I can’t explain.” Kale raked his hands through his hair. “I know more than anything how important it is to keep you safe, and that means keeping my hands and lips away from you—no matter how difficult it becomes.”

Kale actually looked flustered. I was upset by the news, but I found his new, boyish appearance amazingly cute. I was positive that if Kale could blush, he’d be red as a tomato. The emotions that swam between us were going to be hard to ignore even if it was for the best.

Kale pointed at the clock. “Your friend will probably send a search party out for you soon.”

I figured Alex probably thought I was still upset with him and hadn’t started to worry about me just yet, but I didn't want to push my luck.

***

Once I returned to the lodge, I was cold and ready to fall into bed, wrap the covers around my head, and savor the memory of our kiss. Almost all of the guests had returned to their rooms, and I was grateful I didn't have to avoid curious glances. I knew my face was puffy and red from tears and the cold. I felt as though someone switched me into autopilot as I climbed the stairs and made my way toward my room. As I processed the information I’d received, I almost ran into Alex leaning against my door. I suddenly realized I’d left the note in my room, which was locked, and I had the only key. Alex’s jaw was set, his blue eyes ablaze, and his lips were a tight, straight white line across his face. I hadn’t seen Alex so mad in years, and then I hadn’t been the reason for his anger.

“Where the hell have you been, Ella? I called your phone and sent you texts, and you didn't answer!”

I knew he had been worried about me, but at that point I just couldn't bring myself to care. I’d learned I was responsible for the dwindling of the Council and that their deaths were on my hands, I’d died by the hand of the Dark Prince, and I was the reason that Kale was a vampire. The weight of it all had finally crashed into me, and I wasn’t taking it well. I felt sick at the thought of the word vampire, and I was only vaguely aware Alex was still talking to me.

“Jesus Christ, Ella. You could have gotten lost or worse!” He pushed himself off of the wall and came closer to me. His voice sounded pained and stressed.

I couldn’t muster up the strength to feel anything but disgusted with myself for being the reason so many people had died and Kale had been changed. I knew I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself, but I didn't know how else to feel. In the cab ride back, I wondered if Kale should have ever forgiven me. I really wasn’t sure I deserved his forgiveness.

Alex called my name, pulling me out of my trance. “Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick. Where’s your key?” His voice took on a gentler tone. He pulled me into the room and into his arms.

I was still cold even after he let go, and I shivered so hard my teeth rattled. Alex led me to the bed and sat me down, then kneeled in front of me to take off my shoes. He placed them under the bed and pulled back the covers as he cleared the extra pillows from the bed. I sat quietly and reflected. I had died to protect people, but the lie that ended my life had also ended Kale’s. It seemed my existence was nothing but a burden to the people sworn to protect me. The Eternals had said I could rid the world of the Dark Prince and his followers, but I had only made them stronger and decreased the amount of good guys strong enough to fight him.

Alex cleared his throat. He stared at me with his warm eyes, and I melted. I was lucky to have him in my life. I wanted to tell him everything, but I couldn’t, not yet and maybe even ever.

“You want me to leave while you change for bed?” He headed toward the door.

I didn't want to be alone, and I could change in the bathroom. I wanted some normalcy tonight after all I’d learned, and that meant watching bad, late-night TV with Alex until dawn and sleeping until noon. I moved from the bed to the small dresser.

“Stay. I’ll change quickly and we can watch a movie or something.”

He made his way to the little TV and searched for something for us to watch. In the bathroom, I decided to take a shower in hopes it would relax me a little. My shoulders were sore and tight, and I felt like I had overexerted my muscles. The hot water pounded out some of the tension in my shoulders and brought some color back to my face, so when I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a ghost. I ran a brush through my hair and dressed in my ODU sweatpants and my father’s old Chicago t-shirt. Back in the bedroom, Alex sat on the bed in a pair of sweatpants and an NYU tee flipping through the channels.

“Hey. I went to change when I heard the shower running,” he explained.

I sat on the bed beside him, pulled a pillow over my feet, and stared at the TV. I hadn’t told him why I was upset, but I knew that he sensed that I was. He continued to flip through the channels and settled on an episode of
My So-Called Life
. I groaned at the irony of the sitcom title. Alex relaxed against the headboard and gazed at me. I knew he hoped that I would explain my solemn attitude, but instead I asked him something that had been bothering me for a while.

“Why didn't you tell me?” I saw confusion on his face. “Why didn't you tell me you regretted choosing NYU?”

I wasn’t too upset he hadn’t shared it with me because there were so many things I hadn’t shared with him, but I was confused. I hadn’t shared because my secret was hard enough to get used to myself. I didn't want the additional stress of trying to convince others. Alex was just unsure of his college choice, and that didn't seem like something he needed to keep secret. Alex’s face crumpled as my comment registered. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was upset I knew or if it was something else.

“I don’t really regret my choice,” he said, running his hand over a scar he had gotten when he was a kid. It was a nervous habit he had developed when he was sixteen.

I wondered what was happening in New York to make him consider leaving. I knew his grades were still great because he’d written me from New York, so I was sure that it couldn't have been the problem.

Alex turned back to the TV and sighed, his tan skin glowing delicately in the dim light from the lamp on the desk. I could see the cute stubble trying to break free from his chin. “I guess I just want to come home. I’m reconsidering my major, and Tech is a great engineering school, so I was thinking about transferring.”

I liked the idea of Alex transferring, but there seemed to be more to it. I knew my opinion was biased and I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but of course I didn't.

“Wow. That sounds great to me. I mean, Tech is a great school.” It would be great to have him back, but I wasn’t sure that was what he wanted. “What’s the matter?” I hoped he’d tell me the truth and not the diluted version of whatever was bothering him. I wanted to help him. Even though I was still a bit sore from our earlier conversation, I wanted to focus on his problems. I could worry about mine later.

“My dad is concerned I’m making a mistake and there’s another reason why I want to move back home.” He changed the channels on the TV.

I noticed he deliberately tried not to look at me when he answered, and I knew that meant there was more he hadn’t told me. I wanted to ask him to elaborate, but if I wanted honesty from Alex, I’d have to give him the same. When it was my turn to explain why I was upset, I wouldn’t be able to answer him honestly. For the second time in our entire friendship, I would have an important secret to keep from Alex. What kind of friend did that make me? It hurt to know I couldn't confide in him, but it hurt even worse that he felt he couldn't confide in me. I decided to change the subject.

“So, what are you doing tomorrow?” I asked.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Chill a little and hit the slopes a few times. What about you?” Alex finally decided to leave the channel on an infomercial selling a knock-off of the George Foreman Grill.

I’d had a plan when I first arrived at the lodge, but my history lesson with Kale had thrown me for a loop, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do one second to the next. Until he asked me to remember, I’d thought the things he’d told me were crazy, and I was just as crazy for believing they were true. Alex adjusted himself on the bed to get more comfortable, pulling me from my thoughts and back to the possibility he could be coming back to Cedar Grove for good. My heart pitter-pattered in my chest at the thought of seeing Alex almost every day. The excitement was a nice change from the night’s stresses, and I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep until all that was left was the memory of Kale and our kiss. At least I’d get to enjoy that memory.

Chapter 22

“They spread their disease through a bite, the same as a venomous snake. Vile creatures, they are!” —Hélène

I woke and realized Alex had left sometime in the night. The memory of the kiss Kale and I had shared left me confused about us. I decided to find out if there was a way to control the memories. Kale had told me what was happening to me was normal for an Arc, but dangerous. My mind was waking up to my abilities, and that would make it easier for Laurent to find me. Laurent wanted to use my memories to find and destroy all of the Council. Then he could turn his sights to bigger fish, which I could only assume was the rest of the world. I lay in the warm bed and thought of what I could be to the Council versus what I could be to Laurent. I wanted to hate them for turning me over to the Eternal Ones, but it wasn’t in me to hate them. I closed my eyes and remembered Kale’s plea to let him help me. His dark eyes glistening with emotion he tried, but failed, to hide. His skin pale against his dark clothing, and his subtle smirks at certain comments I’d make. A warm sensation fluttered over my body, causing me to shiver in delight. I blushed, even though no one else was in the room.

I turned to look at the clock; it was nine a.m. I reluctantly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. My body was still a little sore from the vision I’d had in my sleep, but not as bad as it could have been since I hadn’t been awake to fight it. I looked in the mirror, watching as my green eyes floated above my nose. My skin was paler than usual, but there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, it was a frozen tundra outside. I’d just have to wait until summer. My phone chimed. Kale had programmed his number in my phone under K and gave it a special ringtone so I would know it was him.

Can I see you later?

There was no “Good Morning,” or “Are you all right after receiving that earth shattering news last night?” I almost texted back “and good morning to you too,” but I didn't want to waste any time. I wanted to see him. I needed his help. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see a certain part of my past, but I knew I had to. I needed to see what had happened to my parents and why the police had never found the person driving the car that killed them. I’d put it out of my mind for so long, trying to pretend I didn't want to know and it didn’t matter because they were dead, but that was all a lie. I had the power to find out the truth, and I wanted to see the person who did it; I wanted to see the person who helped end my life with them, and I wanted them to pay.

Yes. I need a favor.

Someone knocked on the door. I placed my cell on the sink and ran out to answer. Alex stood at the door with two to-go cups of coffee in his hand, dressed for the slopes. I frowned in response to his chipper smile and skiing attire.

“No,” I said as I walked away from the door.

I went to pick out some clothes and Alex sat on the bed, grinning. He was wearing a dark green sweater that seemed to know where each individual muscle in his body was and decided to put them on display. I heard my phone jingle in the bathroom, but it played the ringtone I had designated to Mia, so I ignored it. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if she were to tell me about another body. Alex offered me one of the coffees after I’d settled on a navy blue turtleneck sweater and a pair of khaki corduroys. The coffee was hot and bitter, just the way he liked it, and I tried not to gag.

“Where’s the cream and sugar?” I asked.

He passed me a handful of sugar packets and creamer. I rolled my eyes and used them to create my perfect cup of Joe.

“So, what are we up to today?” he asked.

I took a sip of my coffee to stall. Kale hadn’t texted me back yet. I wasn’t sure what time he wanted to meet, but I was pretty sure it’d be at night. “I don’t know. What were you planning to do?”

“Let’s ski a little. No lift, just you and me skiing. Then we can eat at the little café around the corner,” he suggested, and I agreed.

My phone finally went off with Kale’s ringtone. I took my clothes and headed to the bathroom, telling Alex I’d be out in a few. I waited until I heard the soft click of my door closing. I felt a small pang of guilt because of the secrets I was hiding from Alex, but Kale had said it was in everyone’s best interest that I kept everything to myself, and I reluctantly agreed. His message was short.

We will see. Same place, same time.