Fey 02 - Changeling (59 page)

"What happened then?" Wind asked.

Rugar looked at Niche.
 
She would understand.
 
"The golem lives."

"Still?"

The boy didn't seem to hear.
 
"I don't want you coming here any more.
 
I don't ever want to talk to you again.
 
I want you to leave us alone!"

"Gift," Wind said.
 
His tone was mild.
 
The boy ignored him.
 

Rugar crouched.
 
He couldn't be afraid of this child.
 
The boy was his best hope for the future.
 
"I am your grandfather, Gift, the only blood relative you have."

"Lies," the boy hissed.
 
His composure startled Rugar more than the words.
 
If he had shouted or thrown a tantrum like most children his age, Rugar would have been able to ignore the boy.
 
But he couldn't.
 
"The yellow man, he's my father.
 
And the baby, that' s my sister."

"Where did you hear all this, Gift?" Wind asked.

"I Saw it.
 
I Saw it all."

Niche looked over her shoulder at her husband.
 
"I'll explain later," she said.

"Gift," Rugar said.
 
He had to quiet the boy.
 
He wasn't sure how.
 
"I would never want you dead."

"I didn't say you wanted me dead.
 
I said you didn't care," Gift said.

Rugar closed his eyes.
 
He had heard that from too many people this week.
 
Couldn't they see that Jewel's death had torn him apart?
 
He had not planned for this.
 
Blue Isle was supposed to be his triumph, not his torment.

He opened his eyes again.
 
Gift was staring at him, his small face contorted with rage.
 
Rugar had been wrong.
 
If Niche let go of Gift, he would attack Rugar and beat him with his fists.
 
"I can't leave you alone, Gift," Rugar said.
 
"To do so would be to betray everything."

"You let her die.
 
You knew and you let her die."

Rugar had to calm the boy.
 
He had to get Gift back on his side.
 
He needed the boy's Sight.
 
"There are many things you don't understand about Visions, Gift."

"You're going to lie to me again, aren't you?" he said.
 

Niche was biting her lower lip.
 
She swallowed hard.
 
Wind was behind her, supporting her so that any sudden change in Gift's position would not send her flying back and break her fragile bones.

"Gift," Wind said quietly, "you're not an expert just because you had one Vision."

"But I told him my mother was going to die and he didn't listen!
 
He said it would be all right."

"I didn't understand your Vision," Rugar said.
 
"It was powerful, but you're very young."

"That's what you all say!"
 
Gift was shouting now.
 
"But I Saw her die.
 
I Saw it.
 
You can't change that.
 
I Saw it and you did nothing.
 
You didn't even believe me."

"I believed you."
 
Rugar reached out his hands.
 
"I just didn't understand."

"Her dying almost killed me."

"I know," Rugar said.
 
"I'm sorry.
 
Your Vision was unusual, Gift.
 
How much more can I explain this?"

Gift's features narrowed, and then his lower lip trembled.
 
"She loved me," he whispered.

Rugar held his breath.
 
Niche put a hand over her heart.

"She loved me.
 
She didn't even know I was here, and she loved me."

"You saw her?" Rugar asked.

Gift nodded.
 
"She came to break the tie.
 
But she thought I was going to be someone else."
 
He raised his eyes to Rugar.
 
"She cursed you."

Rugar worked to keep his features impassive.
 
Jewel had given her last energy to save her son.
 
She had known that the ties weren't broken, and she had slid along the Links to save him.
 
Only instead of finding the golem, which she had been looking for, she found Gift.

And knew what Rugar had done.

If only he had had a chance to explain.
 
If only he had been able to tell her that he had taken Gift for the good of the Fey.

"Rugar?" Niche asked.

He glared at her, this Wisp.
 
Just because he had deemed her worthy of watching his grandson didn't mean she was worthy of talking to him.

The fierceness he felt must have seeped into his features.
 
Gift
 
backed into his mother, looking for the first time since Rugar arrived, like the child he was.
 
"I don't get it," he said, and despite the fear he was displaying, his words held bravado.

"Get what?" Niche asked softly.

"If a person can See the future, how come he can't change it?"

The words were an attack.
 
The boy was leaning on his adopted mother, taking her strength, and using his protected position to bait Rugar.

He wouldn't be baited.
 
He would win the boy any way he could.
 
"Sometimes a person can change the future," Rugar said.
 
"if he understands."

Gift crossed his arms.
 
"But you didn't understand?"

The difficult admition.
 
The one that would reveal he was not all powerful.
 
But if Gift thought him all powerful, then he would always blame him for Jewel's death.

"No," Rugar said softly.
 
"I didn't understand.
 
That's not unusual.
 
Sometimes I don't understand my own Visions.
 
No one does.
 
They become clear when they happen."

Gift bit his trembling lip.
 
"So what's the point of having them?"

Rugar wished he knew.
 
He had thought he had known once, but Blue Isle had changed that.
 
"I was told," he said, "that a man has Visions of things he cannot change so that he will believe the Visions he has of the things he can change."

"That's stupid," Gift said.

Rugar grinned in spite of himself.
 
"I thought so too."

Gift looked at him, expression young and suddenly trusting.
 
"You did?"

"I did," Rugar said.

Wind bent over and took Gift's hand.
 
The boy looked at his adopted father, the moment with Rugar broken.
 
Rugar almost admonished Wind.
 
Almost.
 
But to do so might mean alienating the boy again, and the boy was alienated enough.
 

"Come on, Gift," Wind said.
 
"Your mother needs to talk with your grandfather alone."

Gift sighed.
 
He glanced again at Rugar, that look of trust gone.
 
"I'm not going to say I'm sorry for yelling," Gift said.

"Gift!" Niche said.

"It's all right." Rugar stood.
 
"He has a right to his anger.
 
He has been through a lot."

Even though he spoke to Niche, he made certain he looked at Gift.
 
He wanted Gift to forget that moment when Rugar had dismissed Gift's death, when Rugar had tried to reach to a future the Shaman had shut him out of forever.

"I want to talk some more," Gift said.
 
"You gotta tell me how to make the Visions go away."

"They don't go away," Rugar said.
 
"But I can teach you how to use them."

"Come on," Wind said.
 
He led Gift around Rugar and out of the cabin.
 
As soon as the door closed, Niche crossed her arms.

Such anger around him.
 
It was as if he were suddenly attracting it.
 
Now, when he couldn't handle it any more.
 

"What happened to your wings?" he asked so that she wouldn't be able to start the conversation.

"I fell on them," she snapped.
 
"Tending my dying son."

"You blame me for that, don't you?"

"Gift is right," she said.
 
"You should have listened to him."

"And done what?
 
He thought you were threatened.
 
You were warned. There was nothing I could do."
 
Rugar kept his hands loosely at his side.
 
He held his place in the center of the floor like it was a battlefield he had conquered. He would not show her the depth of his own despair.
 
She needn't know that he was already defeated enough.

"None of us were warned.
 
I spoke to the Shaman. She says he had the Vision because he was threatened."

"If she knew that," Rugar said, "then she should have stayed."

"I spoke to her after she returned."

Niche's words hung in the air.
 
Behind Rugar, wood snapped in the fire.
 
He jumped, despite himself.
 
She noted the movement and he wished he could take it back, make it go away.

"We had no way of knowing that he was threatened," Rugar finally said.

"The Shaman said that a Vision which comes young is usually of a child's death."

"The Shaman would be wise to share such knowledge with other Visionaries."
 
Rugar couldn't keep his own temper in any longer.
 
"Is that why you wished to talk with me alone?
 
So that you could tell me my failings?
 
I already know them.
 
I lost a daughter this week and almost lost a grandson.
 
I am very well aware of where I stand."

"I asked you to talk with me alone because I am concerned about Gift," Niche said.
 
Her haggard features told him that more eloquently than she ever could.
 
She and Wind must not have slept at all since Gift's illness.
 
"He is too young for these Visions.
 
He is too young to be saddled with the burdens you're placing on him."

"I have placed no burdens on him.
 
I can't control his Visions."

"But you brought on the first," Niche said.

Rugar raised his eyebrows.
 
"Did the Shaman tell you that too?"

Niche shook her head.
 
"I saw it.
 
I was here, remember?"

"If Visions were that easy, Visionaries would be infallible." Rugar sighed.
 
If only he could have a Vision whenever he wanted one.
 
"He touched me. That triggered the first Vision.
 
And he was so young he didn't understand half of what he Saw, and he communicated it even more poorly.
 
If I had known, truly known, what he Saw, then I might have been able to help Jewel."