Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories (9 page)

I
was cold and tired on the way home and I allowed Felix and Mary to do all the
talking. I thought about crawling under Bradan and getting a short nap. It
would be comfortable and warm there, but would leave my dress all wrinkled and
I needed to wear it again tomorrow. I settled for leaning on Mary. She was warm
too and said it was the least she could do for me.

The
next day started about the same. The wagon ride felt shorter since I knew where
we were headed. I took Bradan around the outside of the tents today and we
arrived at our spot much faster because we didn't need to manoeuvre through
people. I saw a lot more people here today; I'd guess at least twice the number
of those here yesterday.

The
professor was back early in the morning. He excused himself for bypassing me
while he talked directly to Bradan for at least an hour. I didn't mind being
left out of the conversation as I had no idea what it was about. The letters on
Bradan's chest didn't make any sense to me either. The professor thanked me as
usual when he left.

Felix
and I were very busy talking to people. Yesterday we were able to take breaks
with just one of us at our assigned spot, but today was different. Even Bradan
was busy demonstrating his ability to lift heavy objects or reach difficult to
access locations. When lunchtime came, I gave silent thanks to Mary who had
saved me from experimental food by packing sandwiches for us today. I knew
where the hots spots were on Bradan and he didn't object to me using him to
toast my bread.

I
needed to take a break and visit the ladies' comfort room. When I returned,
Felix was explaining how automatons could be used in restaurants to both cook
and serve your food right at your table. I talked him out of demonstrating this
as I didn't want Bradan smelling of burnt meat for the rest of the day.
Instead, I persuaded him to show how Bradan could keep track of recipes and the
directions to make soda bread properly.

Around
three o'clock, some guy in a worn suit talked with Felix for a minute then started
shouting. "This is not an automaton! They are frauds! There is clearly a
man inside of that thing working the controls. I demand you open it up for all
to see!" He was dashing back and forth in front of us to draw attention.

I
was expecting something like this. Nothing ever goes smoothly in my life for
long. I looked at Felix and he just shrugged. I looked around for the professor
and didn't see him either. That meant it was up to me to deal with this man. I
glanced down at my pistol to make sure it was ready to fire should I have to. I
don't remember why I decided to wear it when I got dressed this morning. It
certainly did not go well with my dress.

I
addressed the crowd that was forming, "I believe I have been insulted and
slandered. Where is your proof?"

"It
is obvious that nothing mechanical can perform the acts that you claim this
does. Everything it does is proof that there is a man inside of it."

"What
would we have to gain? We are neither selling his services nor offering to
build more like him for profit. We are merely here to share our dream of a
better world. Are you one of those people afraid of progress? Do you fear your
wife might want a mechanical servant so she no longer has to spend her life in
the kitchen?"

"If
there is no-one inside it, you won't mind if we open it up for all to
see."

"I
propose that you are an empty man, and if we open you up, we will find nothing
inside."

The
professor walked out of the crowd that had gathered. "Cedric, that is not
the way to get the secrets to how their automaton works. All you have to do is
be friendly and ask it."

"You
get your information your way and I get it mine," he replied.

"If
you continue this way, the young lady is likely to shoot you... and with good
reason. If you don't apologise to her, right now, and for all to hear, I may
shoot you too."

"I
will not embarrass myself on behalf of a woman. She can go to Hell first."

The
professor spoke up for all to hear. "I won't tell you again. You will
recant your former statements and ask forgiveness for slandering these good
people or I will tell everyone about you."

Cedric
reached into his suit and pulled out a small pistol. He waved it around, as if
unsure about who or what he wanted to shoot. I was unsure how to respond. I
wanted to shoot him because he upset me, but that wasn't a good enough reason.
This man could hurt someone either intentionally or by accident. That was a
good reason. Someone had to protect the other people and I was the best one
here. I had been practicing with my revolver recently and could put the bullet
where I wanted it at short range. I put one into his right leg and he fired a
wild shot as he fell.

I
addressed the professor. "How do you know this vile man?"

"I
had him expelled last year for plagiarism." I gave him a questioning look.
"He tried to steal the work of others and claim it as his own."

"What
was he trying to do here?"

"I
believe he wanted to see how your automaton worked so he could patent the
processes."

I
kept my pistol pointed at Cedric until men from the Royal Constabulary came to
take him away. For his part, he just laid there holding his leg with both hands
and glaring at me.

Felix
asked, "Is it true that it told you how it works?"

"Yes,
but it's not like I could replicate the process. The jeebee science is much
more advanced than ours. You could almost say it was magic."

Bradan
tapped me on the shoulder. That was never a good omen. He was also holding out
my rifle.

DANGER
EAST 75 YARDS

If
this had been outdoors, I would have waited for it to come to me. Instead, I
ran as fast as I could through the crowd. By the time I reached where Bradan
had indicated, it was too late and there were no jeebees in sight.

One
man was lying on the ground. His face and arms had burn marks on them. I had
seen wounds like this before. The guns that the jeebees used caused wounds like
this. The man was in pain, as expected, but alive.

A
police constable had come running behind me. I said, "I don't know whether
I find trouble or it finds me. I most certainly do not go out each day looking
for new excuses to see you guys."

He
smiled and said, "I think trouble comes looking for you. I read these
cheap novels of the American West where someone is looking to challenge the
fastest gun. I am thinking they just might be here to challenge you."

"What
can I do to stop them?" I asked.

"In
the novels, one of them usually ends up dead and the winner is the fastest gun
alive."

"I
don't like that ending. I need to find myself a different novel."

"Let's
find out what part this man plays in the story."

The
man was demonstrating his device to a small audience. He liked to keep it
behind a curtain while he explained what it did. The jeebees had been in the
process of stealing it when he surprised them by opening the curtain.

The
police constable asked me, "What can you tell us about the jeebees? It
might help us if we knew what you know."

"Between
the army and I, we don't know much about them. They take people, farm animals,
and items they deem useful."

"How
do we deal with them?" he asked?

"If
you see one, shoot it in the head. Do not fire a warning shot. Do not stop to
ask questions. It isn't likely it will have anything good to say. If you see
one wearing robes, run away as fast as you can."

I
addressed the wounded man as I bandaged his wounds, "Excuse me for not
noticing sir, but what does your device do?"

He
said, "It concentrates sunlight to generate electricity."

"Could
the jeebees turn it into a weapon?"

"Anything
can be used as a weapon in the wrong hands, Miss. In short, yes they could."

I
walked back to Felix and Bradan. I explained what had happened and asked
Bradan, "What was wrong? You usually provide warnings when the jeebees are
further away."

UNEXPECTED

"I
wasn't expecting them either. I'm sorry. We both need to be more vigilant. They
could come back. Now that I look at the convention from a different
perspective, I see many things here they might want."

Felix
spoke up. "Have you considered it might not be a coincidence that both
disturbances happened so close to each other?"

"You
are suggesting that person was working with the jeebees?"

"It's
just a theory," he said meekly.

"Let
me think that over for a minute..." And that's what I did.

I
said, "I'm going to tell you a story."

"Once
upon a time there was a guy named Cedric. He was not a nice person. He was
captured by the jeebees and pleaded for his miserable life, promising to do
anything to avoid whatever jeebees do with people. They let him go and he comes
to a convention to find inventions that they could use. He returns to them with
what could be considered a device grocery list called a programme. He notes on
it that their deadly enemies, Fianna and Bradan, who he never saw before, are
coincidentally in attendance as well, since they are not listed in the
programme."

"So
rather than wait for a convenient time and place to grab an invention when
Fianna and Bradan have gone home, they send him back to cause a disturbance.
They somehow know that Bradan can detect them when they attack, but will be
occupied watching the spectacle while they steal the invention. So Cedric gets
himself shot, which the jeebees could care less about. They get what they want
and live happily ever after. Fianna ends up doubly embarrassed by Cedric's
actions and the theft happening under her nose, as the saying goes."

I
finished, "Would you buy that for five pence?"

"It
is really far-fetched isn't it?"

"'Tis
unbelievable. You should keep thinking thoughts of a better world and I will
deal with making sure we're around to see it." I addressed Bradan,
"Let's take a walk around the tents and ensure 'tis safe for everyone
now."

When
we returned, Felix was looking guilty about something. He said, "I have
something to tell you."

"That
you and Mary are expecting your first child?"

"Why
is that the first thing people always think? No, God has not blessed us
yet."

"What
do you have to tell me then?"

"I
coerced you into coming to the convention with me because I had run out of
ideas for new inventions. I now have a few so you won't need to attend next
year."

"That's
nice. I may come anyway just to keep new devices away from the jeebees."

"In
case you do, I'm thinking of making a wagon that is easier for Bradan to get
into and out of. The front seats will swing out of the way and there will be a
ramp on each end for him to use."

"That
would be useful for people with livestock as well. When you build the first
one, I want to see it."

He
paused for a moment, then asked me, "Do you think the jeebees will try
again next year?"

I
lowered my head and said, "I thought we had scared them away in London. I
was mistaken. They likely will be around until we get rid of them all."

I
looked up at Felix "I believe it's time for Bradan and I to leave. We've
been in enough trouble for one day. Do you mind leaving early?"

He
said, "I also believe we have done all the damage we can do this
afternoon. It would be better to quietly sneak out than be followed by an angry
mob."

 I
added, "But there is one exhibitor I need to visit first."

We
walked to the centre of the tent where a couple were demonstrating new wind-up
toys. The man proclaimed that due to his special process, the springs would run
them for twice as long as before. While Felix watched the little animals run
around, I talked with the woman. She had metal wind-up valentine hearts about
the size of my palm for sale. She said they were made especially for women to
relieve anxiety and that they had a calming effect. Bevin had mentioned her to
me yesterday and I figured that right now I could use something to help me
relax.

Felix
looked over at it, but didn't say anything, as I bought it. If nothing else, it
was pretty. It made a soft hum and shook a little as the spring wound down. A
minute later, it was resting quietly in the bottom of my bag. I had another
thought and pulled my pocket watch out of my bag. I showed it to the man.

"I
know what you are going to ask," he said.

I
started, "Right now, I need to wind it every morning when I get
up..."

"and
you would like to sleep in on the weekends without needing to reset the time,"
he finished.

I
smiled. "That would be nice."

"I
can see the mainspring in your watch and am pleased to say I have one with me
just the right size to replace it. You'd just need a watchmaker or someone with
steady hands to put it in."

I
glanced over at Felix and gave him my best helpless expression. He sighed and
admitted he could install it given several hours of not being disturbed. I
smiled and thanked him after paying the man for the spring.