Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories (10 page)

We
were both quiet on the way home. I guess he had run out of things to say or was
just tired of talking. I knew that I didn't have much energy left in me for
conversation. He and Mary had a house just a short distance away from where I
lived so it was no problem for him to let us out on his way home again. Bradan
and I went to our normal spots; me in my bedroom and he outside my window.

End

But not always
direct.

It
was a dreary afternoon, but I was expecting something interesting soon. I was
hoping for a new adventure. A stocky man in a brown suit came riding up on a
brown and white mare. He was the one I was expecting as news of his arrival
travelled faster than he did. I didn't know who he was or what he wanted, just
that he had come from London to see me.

He
stopped by the fence and addressed me, "Excuse me, Miss. I am looking for
the Kelly residence."

"You
are in the right neighbourhood. All of us around here are Kelly's," I
replied.

"Specifically,
I am looking for Miss Fianna Kelly."

"That
would be me."

"I'm
glad I found you. My name is Gerald and I work for Mr Balfour."

I
smiled at him. "I'm glad you found me too. I've been waiting out here a
while for you."

"How
did you know I was coming?"

I
asked him, "Did you ask a tall, thin boy with a floppy hat for
directions?"

"That
sounds about right."

"That
was my little brother, Peter. He gave you the long way around and got home
ahead of you."

He
lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "Anyway, I'd like to talk with
you in private."

"I've
gotten behind in my chores waiting for you. Do you mind if Bradan and I work
while you talk?"

"Who
is Bradan?"

I
pointed to his right. "He's the one pretending to be a huge metallic bear
beside you."

He
looked a bit startled. "Oh! I guess it's okay."

"Follow
us. 'Tis pretty private out in the fields."

He dismounted
and followed Bradan and I to the far end of the field.

"I
work with a small group of men unofficially and discreetly for Mr.
Balfour."

"Unofficially?"
I asked.

"You
know how the royal family helps the queen by attending events when she has conflicts
in her schedule? We do something similar for Mr. Balfour by scanning the news
and reports around the empire and pointing out anything that deserves his
attention. He prefers that people think he does it all himself."

"What
kind of things do you find?"

"For
example, I saw a report of a young woman and a large automaton arriving at an
Army base. Then I saw a newspaper stating how that same woman was influential
in a battle. I looked into your situation further and delivered that newspaper
with a box of cartridges to Mr. Balfour along with a simple note:

I think
we should keep helping her.

"I
guess I owe you as much as I do him."

He
noticed what Bradan and I were doing and asked, "Excuse me for changing
topics, but what are you doing out here?"

"We're
planting potatoes. Bradan digs the hole. He is very good at getting it just
deep enough. I drop a spud into the hole and cover it up. Then I'll come back
shortly to water them."

"Couldn't
he do all of it?" he asked.

"Have
you ever tried to dig a three-legged automaton out of the mud? 'Tis not an easy
chore and not one I care to repeat."

"Now
I understand. Anyway, I have been watching the newspapers and I read about your
little adventure last September."

I
replied, "I swear that Bradan and I do not try to get attacked. The day
was going so well until things went wrong... twice."

"I
would never accuse you of that. We thought you could use some more help
though."

"What
kind of help?" I asked.

"Wouldn't
it be nicer if the papers said 'Fianna Kelly persuades mad scientist to
surrender to police' instead of 'Fianna Kelly shoots crazed scientist at
convention'?"

"I
wasn't my fault. He had drawn his pistol first. Besides, I only wounded
him," I explained.

"I
agree that you didn't have a choice. You were skilfully manoeuvred into that
situation."

"I
don't understand," I said.

"I
had a talk with the man you shot. He and that so-called professor were working
together to claim other's inventions as their own."

"He
wasn't a professor? He seemed so nice and gentlemanly."

"He
was so nice that he talked you into shooting his partner. Once he realised that
he was getting nothing useful from your automaton, he decided to lessen his
losses as well as remove his partner. I suspect he wanted you to kill that man
instead of wound him."

I
had stopped working while we were talking and just noticed that Bradan had
gotten ahead of me. I worked fast to catch up to him.

Gerald
ran after me. "We'd like you to join our team. You would be a perfect
field agent. You can go places we cannot."

"I
would very much like to help both you and Mr. Balfour as you once helped
me."

"We've
decided we need to do more than just read about the jeebees and you are the
best jeebee exterminator we know about."

"'Tis
not just me. Bradan helps by giving me advance warning of them."

"I'm
sure you noticed how the jeebees usually try hard not be noticed. We'd like it
if you'd help us and them keep it that way. We don't want people to panic or
children to have nightmares about them."

"But
what about the battle outside London with the newspapers and the
pictures?"

"The
editor cut the jeebee out of the picture because he felt it would scare small
children. Didn't you see it?"

I
said, "I was rather busy that day and didn't have time to get a copy before
they were all sold."

"Looking
at the other newspaper coverage, they preferred writing about you instead of
the jeebees, who don't stick around for interviews."

"How
about the Royal Constabulary? They have to know what they are protecting the
people from."

"Some
of them know the truth; most do not. We decide who needs to know. If you join
us, you'll help make those decisions."

"Does
it pay well?"

"We
get paid better than most and all expenses while travelling are
reimbursed."

I
looked at Bradan. "Do you think we should join their team?"

YES

I
turned back to Gerald. "We'd be happy to join. I can hardly wait to tell
all my friends."

"Please
be discreet about who you tell and what."

"When
do we start?"

He
looked around; I guess to make sure no-one was listening nearby. If he knew my
brothers like I did, he'd look closer. "We think they have a jeebee
infestation in Holland. We'd like you to attend the International Colonial and
Export Exhibition with me to ensure it doesn't spread.

"I
sent Eric a reply to his postcard that I couldn't make it to the
exhibition."

"I
don't think he got your response as they've printed notices stating you would
be performing the week it begins."

"They
shouldn't have done that, but it will be less embarrassing when we arrive. How
did you know I wasn't attending?"

"I
didn't know. I was hoping I would find you had already left."

"'Tis
lucky for you I was still here or you'd be riding around all day."

"Do
you want to go?"

"You
know the answer to that or you wouldn't be here. 'Tis too late for me to get
there in time for the start of the exhibition though."

"Not
by airship, it isn't."

"My
father has forbidden us to travel that way and I have given up trying to change
his mind."

"I've
been told that I am very persuasive. When you finish here, you can start
packing. By the time you are ready, I will have your father's blessing for the
trip."

"I
would love to see you try, but Bradan and I have a lot of spuds to plant."

"Could
you tell me where your father is?"

"You'll
have to go in the house and ask my mother. Do not ask my brothers lest you go
the long way around again."

When
we finished the planting, I found out that Gerald had been correct. My father
had changed his mind about my riding in one of those 'evil' airships... this
time. It didn't take me that long to pack. I brought my portmanteau and steamer
trunk to the door and Bradan loaded them onto the wagon. I reminded him to fill
up with wood and water as I didn't know how long we'd be travelling.

As
we started out, Gerald said, "Your father drives a hard bargain. Should
anything happen to you while in the air, someone will be planting your potatoes
for generations."

I
laughed and said, "You should not be so gullible or we'll always be taking
the long roads."

He
laughed too. "I will work on it."

I
let him direct the horses while I gave him directions. He would point out the
way he had come, and I'd tell him the shorter route to take. It was amazing he
had even arrived considering the directions that my brother had provided. I
would have to talk to those two about that now that I was working for Mr.
Balfour. It wouldn't be good for them to send everyone who came to give me an
assignment out to the coast and back.

"Before
I forget, I'd like you to think about the design for a merchant flag to fly on
your airship."

"Did
you just say I have an airship?"

"To
be precise, it is being loaned to you while you are on assignments for
us."

"Where
is it? Why aren't we in it now?"

"It
is in London preparing for your arrival. Let's get back to my request. We need
to fly a flag on it that is unique to you."

"Let
me think for a moment... I'd like a green background with a white shamrock
centred on it and a rifle inside that pointed straight up. Will that
suffice?"

"I
believe it will. I will send a telegraph when we arrive in Dublin so your flag
will be ready and flying from your airship when we arrive tomorrow."

He
sat quietly for a few minutes. I was ecstatic. I had a job that paid well. I
had an airship of my own. I had my father's approval. I was going to another
country. This was becoming one of the best days of my life. I was in the mood
to sing

Always
look on the sunny side,
And never yield a doubt;
The ways of Providence are wise,
And faith will bear you out.
[vii]

When
I finished, Gerald said, "I wasn't sure if you could do anything other
than shoot extremely well, but now I see there is much more to you than that.
We need someone who can talk her way out of dangerous situations when required too."

"I
can't say I am good at that, having been involved in so few. I haven't had much
practice in making speeches."

"I
believe you have a natural aptitude that we can work with and there are things
that I can teach you."

"You
won't turn me into a bureaucrat, will you? My father will not put up with one
of his children going into politics."

"I
can teach you to recognise when you are being manipulated and the ways you can
use to get others to see your point of view. I can start now."

I
spent the rest of the day learning about verbal confrontation on the wagon ride
to Dublin. It started with easy things; paying someone a compliment could help
get what you wanted while insulting them was sure to make them contrary. After
each lesson, we would play a game that he called 'Change My Mind'. He would
make a statement and I would try to find the right words to make him retract
it. Most times all that took was something from his previous lesson.