Fighting Gravity (17 page)

I’d never had a comfortable position at the IIC. Even after those horrible early months passed and I found my niche with my precocious scientific abilities. I didn’t mind being an outsider, it left me free and unencumbered by unwritten social rules in a way that the accepted could never be. But I was discovering that passive exclusion and active rejection were two very different things.

I wanted very much for the IIC, for my home, to be a sea of calm in the midst of this storm I’d walked into; the tempestuous, dangerous game of social politics at the highest level. But I wasn’t a fool to wish for foolish things. I knew I could expect resentment from those who had not been distinguished as I had, especially all of those who were older and more experienced than I—in other words, everyone.

Even more than that was the problem of Director Kagawa. Thinking of him made me squirm.

But worst of all was the thought of facing Kirti and confessing. Though she knew I was coming now only for a visit, I’d let her believe it was a step toward moving back to the IIC again. I ached for her to understand. For my choices, my happiness not to hurt her. I’m not one to delude myself either so I didn’t waste time hoping for the impossible.

My thoughts drifted back to Director Kagawa, and I realized I could probably obtain access to his records now, if I asked for them. I tried to sound casual as I asked Jonathan if he could get them for me, and then to not act surprised when I had them within minutes. He hadn’t even asked why I wanted them.

It was as bad as could be. He’d been Resettled. He’d spent three months in a Resettlement camp and then had been reassigned to a job in a small rural town. On a landscaping crew.

I felt sick. Nothing he had ever done to me warranted the humiliation a high class, educated man must have felt, being reduced to manual labor like that. I could recall every whipping he had ever given me, and all the ones I’d gotten at his instigation. The months and years struggling to overcome the reputation he’d set me up with, and to secure my place at the IIC that everyone else had by right. I still couldn’t find justice in what had been done.

Of course, I knew that what he’d been condemned for was more than just his personal offenses against me. He’d had a prestigious Imperial position and so much that was important to the future of the Empire had been his purview. But he’d worked against the Intellectual Committee’s decisions just because he was petty and let his prejudices make him shortsighted. That the Empire hadn’t suffered the loss of my innovations and discoveries was in spite of his efforts, not because. It still felt like my fault.

I did a quick check and discovered that the town he’d been assigned to, Stolven, was only two hours out of the way of my planned route. I sent Jonathan to tell the driver to take us there. I had to know.

Once I’d made the decision, I wouldn’t allow myself to think of what I was doing, of what I was planning to do. So I challenged Jonathan to a game of chess. I wasn’t surprised to discover that he was a good player and the game kept me occupied enough that the time passed without me completely obsessing over Kagawa.

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19

Before long we stopped and I found myself in front of a small hospital. I looked at Jonathan, puzzled.

“When I searched for your friend’s address, I found that he is currently a patient here,” he explained. I stifled the guilt at his assumption—that I did not correct—of Kagawa being a friend.

“What is he here for?”

“Apparently, he fell down two flights of stairs. Though, the doctor recorded that the injuries were suspicious.”

“Suspicious?”

“Far more damage to the face and torso than would be expected in a fall.”

“Someone beat him up.”

“I didn’t say that, sir.”

I rolled my eyes at him and entered the hospital with him on my heels. I was about to approach the reception desk but Jonathan got there before me. He informed them that I was there to visit Mr. Oshiro Kagawa and that I’d want to talk to his doctor first. The woman at the desk looked annoyed but when she saw the Imperial crest on Jonathan’s uniform, her eyes widened. “Of course, my lord, immediately.”

A very few minutes later a middle aged doctor came rushing out into the lobby where we waited. “Forgive me for keeping you waiting my lord. I’m Dr. Shale.”

“Mr. Dawes,” I corrected. “I’m no lord.”

He blinked. Taking in the scene and apparently skeptical of my denial, he replied, “Of course, Mr. Dawes. I apologize for my error.”

“Forget it,” I said, but I was irritated. “You’re Mr. Kagawa’s doctor?”

“Yes,” he answered, his expression grave. There was much more in his look than an affirmative to my simple question.

“Why is he here? How is he?”

“He fell down two flights of stairs, I’m told,” he hedged. “He’s doing well. Recovering. But I’d like to keep him here at least another day.”

“Dr. Shale,” I said, in my best imitation of one of the more arrogant lords, “please tell me what it is that you think really happened. It’s obvious you don’t think he fell down the stairs.”

He cleared his throat. “Sir, Mr. Kagawa was attacked. I have no doubt of that.”

“Why?”

“His injuries are not consistent with a fall. That’s a beating if I’ve ever seen one. And it’s not the first time he’s been in here with similar injuries.”

“How many times before? Any why?”

“Twice before, his injuries have been bad enough to land him in the hospital. Though that doesn’t mean that there haven’t been other instances. As for why, of course, I couldn’t say, but Kagawa isn’t exactly the sort of man this town sees very often. His manners and the way he speaks, and acts…Well, he doesn’t fit in with the rough, uncultured sort you find here. There is a particular man, Rohr Lieffson, who seems to take Kagawa’s ways as a deliberate affront, as if Kagawa just being who he is means he is looking down on the folks here.” He made a disgusted noise. “And, with him being Resettled, well Lieffson appears to be determined to put Kagawa in his place. Whatever that is.”

“I’d like to see him, please.”

“Of course,” he answered. “Right this way.”

I followed him down one hallway, then another, until he stopped in front of a generic hospital room door. He gestured inside and I nodded my thanks as he turned away. I stood outside for a long moment, rallying my determination, then stepped into the room.

He was lying in the single bed, eyes closed, and didn’t appear to hear my entrance. His injuries were obvious even from the doorway. Most of his face was bruised. His left eye was swollen closed, his mouth so puffy that it was at least twice the proper size. I took a few steps farther into the room and his one good eye opened lazily. When he saw me his eyes went so wide that the swollen one cracked open.

He shot up, with a wince of pain. “Mr. Dawes.”

“Please, don’t get up, Dir—Mr. Kagawa. The doctor said you’re still not well.”

“I’m well enough,” he said, but the strength of his voice and the way he went white when he tried to move gave the lie to that.

“Please,” I said, moving to the side of his bed and laying a hand on his shoulder to enforce the request.

He looked up at me, half embarrassed, half afraid. There was a long, awkward silence.

“Mr. Dawes, I—”

“Who did this to you?” I interrupted.

He blanched. “I don’t know what you mean. I fell down the stairs.”

“Please, sir, I’d like to help. Who did this to you?”

“Why?” he asked.

“Sir?”

“Why would you help me?” he asked.

Shame washed over me.

“Sir,” I hesitated. “I can’t expect you to believe me, but I never intended for anything like this to happen. I didn’t mean…” I was horrified to feel tears burning behind my eyes. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean for it to sound so awful like it did. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you’re here now, hospital or no.”

His eyebrow went up. “An accident?”

I wanted to cry. Of course he’d never believe that of me. He’d only assume I was so vicious because that’s what he would have done. I wanted to protest that even if he was petty and mean-spirited, I was nothing like him. I didn’t.

“I’m sorry I got you Resettled, sir. I tried to stop them.”

He sighed. “You didn’t get me Resettled, Mr. Dawes, I did.” He looked down, as if struggling with something. “It’s clear that you did belong at the IIC, I should never have tried to undermine the Committee’s decision. It was gross mismanagement of an important position. They weren’t wrong about that. They didn’t take me away because of what you said. It just made them investigate the matter. What they discovered got me Resettled.”

I shook my head, not ready to forgive myself. “Well, you don’t deserve this. This is too much. I’m going to get you out of here.”

His eyes were wide and he winced as he tried to sit up again. “Another day or two, Mr. Dawes. That’s what Dr. Shale recommends. And I assure you, I have no desire to leave just yet.”

“I don’t mean the hospital. I mean Stolven.”

He gasped. “But, Jacob,” he was so distressed that he used my name, “I’ve been Resettled here. I can’t leave.”

“Well, that might be true under normal circumstances. But I happen to have the emperor’s ear,” I had a lot more than that, “and I’m getting you out of here.”

He was halfway out of the bed, grimacing in pain but ignoring it.

“Do you mean you’ve spoken to the emperor about me? That he’s agreed to have me reassigned?”

“Sure,” I shrugged. It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it would be. I would talk to Pete and he would agree to it. Probably. Hopefully.

“But where am I going?”

“We can talk about that later,” I said. I was nervous now. I knew what I was doing was wrong, so I was anxious to get it over and done with before the rational side of me talked me out of it.

I sent Jonathan to arrange things and with a long, meaningful look at me he went off to do what I’d asked. He knew how stupid I was being but he was helping me anyway.

I was certain, when I allowed myself to think of it, that I was going to get my ass chewed off for this. At best. But I’d make sure I took all the blame.

After a half hour, most of which I spent alone in the hallway, Jonathan returned, followed by the doctor, a nurse, and an orderly. The nurse and orderly helped Mr. Kagawa into a hoverchair while the doctor spoke to Jonathan and me about the arrangements and his recommendations for Mr. Kagawa’s follow-up care.

The nurse would be accompanying us to the IIC. Instructions had been recorded and sent to the head medic there. I suppressed a wince. They’d know I was bringing him. My vague, unformed plan had been to keep him on the transport while he healed and while arrangements were made for a suitable reassignment. I didn’t want anyone at the IIC to know he was there, and I didn’t think he would, either.

Too late. I’d figure something out. We were still six hours away from the IIC because of this detour.

We left the hospital, and Mr. Kagawa was carefully loaded onto the transport and settled in one of the two unoccupied bedrooms. I went to the lounge, preferring the larger space for pacing. Jonathan watched me with a careful non-expression.

“Perhaps consulting His Excellence about your next decision might ease some of your concerns,” he volunteered. I glared at him.

“No thank you, I’ll work this out. No need to bother Pete.”

He stared me down. I sighed and dropped into a chair. “OK, you’re right, I should have talked to Pete before I did any of this. But it’s done. I’ll settle this whole matter and tie up the loose ends on my own. Then I can talk to Pete.”

He held my gaze, unblinking. “And ask for forgiveness,” I added. “And beg him not to kill me, all right? Is that what you want to hear?”

His expression softened. “I just want to make sure you realize what you’re doing.”

“Yes, thank you, I’m quite aware that I’ve dug a big hole for myself and I’m still digging. Well, I’m good at that. That’s how I started this whole mess, might as well finish it that way.” A smile quirked at the corner of his lips. “And thank you, by the way, for helping me anyway, and saving this lecture for afterward.”

He nodded.

I sat, or stood, fidgeting and fretting through the various diversions I attempted and abandoned that afternoon.

About four hours out from Stolven, less than two hours from the IIC, I looked up at the sound of the lounge door opening. Mr. Kagawa made his slow, deliberate way into the room shadowed by an anxious nurse.

“He said he needed to talk to you, sir, and he wouldn’t let me send for you,” she explained. I waved away her concerns and got up to help Mr. Kagawa into the nearest chair. I sat across from him.

“Thank you,” he said, his face white and chagrined.

“You shouldn’t have gotten up,” I said. “I’d have come.”

He flinched at the suggestion that I’d come to him. I hated this drastic, embarrassing reversal of roles.

“Mr. Dawes,” he began. He looked down. “I would like to ask you about our destination. And my future.”

Reasonable questions. I didn’t want to answer the first one, not now that I knew the head medic was aware of Kagawa’s coming and that the entire IIC would learn of it soon after.

“The immediate destination isn’t really important,” I hedged. “As for your future, well, what would you like it to be?”

“Sir?”

“Please don’t call me that,” I begged.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t understand. Did you not have a plan for where I’m to go from here?”

I flushed, not wanting to admit how impulsive and reckless my actions had been. And unauthorized.

“Mr. Kagawa, I think an injustice has been done to you. I hoped that you could help me with what your next assignment should be as a way to rectify that.”

“I’d like to be assigned to the IIC,” he said.

I blinked. “Sir…I have some influence with the emperor but I don’t think I have that much. I can’t get you your job back.”

“Oh, that’s not what I meant.” He looked embarrassed. “I would like, if possible, to take whatever assignment I may be allowed to have at the IIC. If that’s permissible. Whatever it is, it’s just that…the IIC is my home. I understand I’m in no position to request anything at all, but you asked me for my preference and there it is. Whatever the assignment, however low, I’d count myself fortunate.”