Fighting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) (18 page)

     Though it was still relatively early, I decided to turn in for the night.  It had been quite a day for me setting both Justin and James straight on where I was in my head about our respective relationships.  Truth was, it was all making my head spin a little bit, and I was tired. 

     I put on my most comfortable pajamas and climbed into bed.  I turned on the television for a little background noise to distract me from any thoughts that may still be churning around in my head.  I found a rerun of The Golden Girls and drifted off to sleep listening to the funny dialog of the ladies and wondering if that was how Grace, Jessica, Liz, and I would be in our old age.

    I slept late the next morning.  With nowhere to go until lunch time and no urgent business pressing, I laid about like a lazy cat.  Justin called around ten o’clock, and we agreed to meet at noon at Pink’s for hot dogs.  It had been forever since I’d had a dog from the famous hot dog stand, and my mouth had started watering when Justin suggested it.  There was sure to be a long line, there almost always was, but it was always worth it.

     As ever, I arrived about ten minutes late.  Justin must have been early because not only had he ordered chili cheese dogs for both of us, but he had managed to snag one of the few tables they had for customers.

     “Late as usual,” Justin commented with a grin.  “Of course, I anticipated that and ordered for you.  I hope you didn’t have any other ideas about what you wanted.”

     “Of course not!  Pink’s chili dogs are so good I’ve never bothered to try anything else!”

     “You know, I don’t think I ever have either.  One of these days, we’re going to have to come here with no other mission than to try other things.  We’ll create our own tasting menu.”  We both laughed.

     “You’re on,” I told him.  Just then I heard a female voice call my name.  I turned to find Delia standing there with a tray of food.  She had called my name, but her eyes were on Justin.  I giggled to myself.  The man was a looker, I’d give him that.

     “Hey Delia!  What a surprise to run into you here.  Are you with someone, or are you alone?” I asked, looking around.

     “I just stopped by to grab a quick bite on my way to visit my mom.  I was going to eat in my car, but would you mind if I joined you two?”

     “No, by all means, please sit.”  I said, with a glance at Justin.  He had a resigned look on his face.  I guessed he wasn’t too pleased by the idea of company.

     “Great!” Delia said.  “I wasn’t looking forward to wolfing down my meal alone.”

     She placed her tray on the table and took the seat next to me.  She reached out her hand to Justin and said, “Hi, I’m Delia.”

     “Delia and I are in the same class together at UCLA.” I told Justin.  “She’s the one I told you about.”

     “Don’t believe a word she says.” Delia joked.

     “Hi Delia, I’m Justin.  It’s very nice to meet you,” he said, shaking her hand over the table.  Meanwhile, I took the opportunity to take a couple bites of my hot dog.  I moaned in pleasure.   Despite the triglycerides, there were few things in life as delicious.  I looked at Delia’s tray and saw that she had a hamburger.

     “How can you come to Pink’s and not get a hot dog?” I asked incredulously.

     “I’m not real crazy about hot dogs, but their hamburgers are very good,” she said.

     “I’m thinking there’s something wrong with you,” I teased.

     She gave me a slight frown, but turned to Justin who was looking on with a bemused expression on his face.

      “So, how do you know Mimi, Justin?” she asked.  I looked at her sideways since I had explained my dilemma with Justin and James to her the night we went out.  I had explained my history with Justin.  Surely she remembered me mentioning him.

     Justin swallowed the bite of hot dog he had been chewing and answered.  “We’ve known each other about five years now.  Her late husband, Vance, was my best friend.”

     “You were married before, Mimi??” she exclaimed.  “How did we not cover that the other night?”

     I was confused.  I had explained the last four years of my life to her the night we went out.  Moreover, in addition to her sudden amnesia, I found her statement odd on its own.  It was almost as if she’d missed a tidbit of gossip rather than learning something intimate and frankly sad about my past.

     “I told you I had been,” I said simply.  “He’s been gone almost three years.”

     “Wow, I had no idea,” she remarked, pretending she didn’t already know even though I’d just reminded her.  She turned back to Justin.  “Well, you must be a good friend to remain by Mimi’s side after your friend departed.”

     I think that time even Justin was struck kind of dumb by her strange reaction.  “Mimi is a wonderful person.  I can’t imagine life without her in it.”

     I smiled at him warmly.  Delia, on the other hand, looked like she was thinking very hard.  Once again, she brightened quickly.  She had an unusual way about her where it seemed like someone suddenly switched a light on for her at times.

     “I am glad I met Mimi.  I think school would be a lot harder without a partner in crime,” she said with a wink at me.  “I mean, I’m such a bubbly person, it would be hard if I felt all alone.  Thanks to her, I have someone I can share the experience with as well as learn something new.”

     I smiled back at her.  “It will be even better when we can expand our study group,” I said.  “We’ll be able to collaborate more and pick up on stuff we may have missed.”

     “Oh, Mimi.  There you go again, always thinking about how to get a better grade.”  She turned to Justin again.  “I swear she’s an overachiever.  I just want to make sure we have a good time while doing the school thing.  It was hard enough to get through high school and undergrad for me.  This time, I want to enjoy myself rather than knock myself out.”  Before I could say anything in defense of myself, she changed the subject.  “So what do you do Justin that you can be out in the middle of a work day chowing down on hot dogs?”

     “I’m self-employed as a graphic artist so I make my own hours,” he said. 

     Delia looked deflated for a moment.  “Oh that must be very hard.  Like the starving artist thing,” she said sympathetically.

    “Oh no, not at all,” he said laughingly, then flexed his considerable muscles.  “Do I look like I’m starving?”

     “You sure as hell do not,” she purred as she reached across the table and squeezed his bicep.  I looked at Justin with my eyes bulging out of my head.  He didn’t seem to notice or be uncomfortable.  He just chuckled in response.

     I, on the other hand, didn’t know what to make of the situation.  I didn’t know Delia well enough to know whether or not she was seriously flirting with Justin.  Her behavior seemed inappropriate to me, particularly since she knew we were kind of seeing each other.  I knew that Grace would behave in the same fashion; she often did in Justin’s presence and it didn’t bother me, but I also knew that for Grace there was an invisible line she wouldn’t cross.  I hardly knew Delia so it just didn’t sit right with me.

     Justin popped the last bite of his chili dog in his mouth and wiped his fingers on a napkin.  After he finished chewing, he looked at me and noticed I still had half of a dog left on my tray.  “You going to finish that, Peaches?”

     I shook my head and pushed it toward him.  He just grinned and chomped into the remainder. 

     “My, you do have an appetite, don’t you?” Delia said in awe.  “I bet it takes a lot to satisfy you.”

     Okay, I thought.  That was clearly an innuendo.  I looked to Justin to see how he would respond.  He just smiled through his chewing and winked at her.  He was actually flirting back with her!  Delia may or may not have been just an overly friendly person, but this was not Justin’s way.  He was not a flirt, unless you were really in his inner circle.  Even then, he was more on the serious side than playful.  I was well and truly flabbergasted.

     I stood up brushing crumbs off my pants.  “I’m going to get going now.  I have some more studying to do before tonight, and a few things I need to pick up at the store before I go to class.  Justin, thanks for the company and for lunch.  Delia, I’ll see you in class tonight.”

     I turned to leave but Justin grabbed my hand.  “Is everything okay, Mimi?” he asked.

     “Of course,” I said, but giving him a look that said anything but.  “Enjoy the rest of your lunch you two.” 

     As I walked away, it occurred to me that Delia had never once touched her food.

     When I arrived at class, Delia wasn’t there.  In fact, she never showed up at all.  I thought it was strange since she had obviously been fine that afternoon, and it was only our third class.  I wouldn’t have wanted to start missing class so soon into the program.  Well, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss any at all.  Maybe I was an overachiever.  Succeeding in the program meant a lot to me though.  It didn’t seem to be anything but a way to kill time and widen her social circle to Delia.  I chastised myself for my less than kind thoughts.  For all I knew, she could have had car trouble or an emergency.  I gave myself a mental face-slap and got down to business listening to the lecture.

     When I returned home, I turned the mute off on my phone.  I always turned the ringer off during class because I didn’t want to be that person who embarrassed themselves by having their ringtone blaring in class, bringing the lecture to a halt, and quite possibly the ire of the professor upon him or her.  I saw that James had sent me a text.  It read:

     “We’re still out on exercises, and it looks like we’ll be done late.  I’ll call you in the morning.  Between now and then, just remember I’m thinking about the taste of your sweet lips on mine.”

     I grinned to myself.  He was so totally different than my first impression of him.  Sure, he could still be as obnoxious as all get-out, but deep down, he was a soft-hearted romantic.  I didn’t think too many people got to see that side of him.  I was grateful that he was letting me see it.

     I prepared a late dinner for myself--a bowl of minestrone soup with some sourdough rounds on the side.  It was times like this when it was late and quiet in the house, when I still felt a little bit of that old sadness.  It was lonely at night.  Eating alone didn’t remind me of the time after Vance’s passing because I almost never ate back then when I was alone.  No, it reminded me of those lonely nights when there was a wide gulf between Vance and me.  When he was sick and I didn’t know it, and he was at the office at all hours.  Nights like this, I would be reminded of my confusion and sorrow from those days.  Our reconciliation had, of course, made things better, and certainly I came to make sense out of those times, but I still identified loneliness with those days.

     I finished up my meal and put the dishes into the dishwasher.  I turned the machine on and switched the light off in the kitchen.  Making my way to the bedroom, I turned out all the other house lights.  My thoughts wandered back to my lunch with Justin and Delia.  I was put off by both their actions.  Was I jealous?  Was that the emotion I was feeling?  I pondered the idea as I prepared myself for bed.  I didn’t feel especially territorial over Justin.  I was confident of his position in my life and his feelings for me.  Wasn’t I?  Then why did his flirtation back with Delia bother me?  It wasn’t just because it was uncharacteristic for him. 

     And Delia.  I had to wonder if she was really the kind of person I should be friends with.  I liked her up to this point, I liked her a lot.  She was witty, funny, and just a little bit crazy like my other friends.  So what put me off about her?

     As I climbed into bed, I decided my feelings were just to be attributed to my uneasiness and uncertainty about my future with Justin.  I was still worried that something might harm our friendship.  Since I didn’t know what I was feeling towards him now besides a newfound attraction, I didn’t know how to interpret his interaction with Delia.  Satisfied that it was nothing to worry about, I shut my eyes and fell asleep with no difficulty.

      At the ungodly hour of five o’clock the following morning, I received the call from James.  As my phone was ringing, I fumbled for it on my nightstand in the dark.

     “Hello,” I said, sleepily.

     “Oh my god, Kitten.  It’s noon, what are you doing still in bed?” he exclaimed.

     I peered at my alarm clock.  “It’s not noon, it’s closer to midnight.

     I heard his amused chuckle down the line.  “Thought I’d get you with that one.”

     “James, it’s barely dawn.  I may be mostly asleep, but I can still see.  What are you doing calling me before I’m human?  And don’t call me Kitten,” I mumbled.

     “What time do you think I get up?  I have to be at work at six.  I told you I’d call you in the morning.”

     “I thought you meant normal people hours.  Like ten a.m.!”

     “Babe, I’ll probably be in the air by then.”

     “Okay, okay.  Let me get up and get some coffee.  Until then you may speak, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to comprehend anything you say.”

     I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen.  I made myself a cup of coffee with my beloved Keurig while James talked nonsense in my ear.  I sat at the kitchen table and began sipping my coffee as fast as I could.  I would have taken it into the living room and sat on the couch, but I was afraid of getting too comfortable and falling asleep on James.

     “Okay, I’ve set up my caffeine IV drip.  How are you?” I said, sounding a little more human.

     “I am great for talking to you, even if you are a bit grumpy,” he teased.  “I actually am sorry for having to call so early, but I wanted to keep my promise to you, and I didn’t know if I’d get a chance to call later in the morning.  I fully expected my call to go to voicemail.”

     “Awww, that’s actually thoughtful in a way.  Next time, just send a text unless it’s an emergency.  You know, like if you are on fire or something.”

     “You should know by now I’m always on fire when it comes to you.”

     “No James, that wasn’t cheesy at all.”  I said dryly.

     He laughed.  “Note to self, Mimi doesn’t like cheese.  Anyway, I know your birthday is on Saturday, and if you don’t already have plans, I’d like to make some with you.”

     “My best girlfriend is flying out here from New York for the weekend.  I’m not sure what we’re going to do, but you’re welcome to join us at some point.”

     “I’d love to meet your friend, so I will say yes, but I want to do something special for you, too.  I already have a plan in the works,” he said.  “Let me know what you and your friend plan to do.  I can come down any time on Saturday, or even Friday night if you prefer, although I wouldn’t be there until about eight p.m. that day.”

     I gave the idea a few seconds thought since my brain still wasn’t functioning at maximum capacity.  “Laurel gets in early on Friday, so I’ll send you a text once I know the plan.  I think Saturday would probably be best though.  It’ll give us a chance to catch up.”

     “Perfect.  I’ll look forward to your text then, but you know if the spirit moves you to give me a call between now and then, I might not mind that,” he said.

     “I’ll give you a call tonight since I don’t have class.”  I replied, smiling to myself.  “It’ll probably be a bit late, though.  I have dinner plans with a friend every Wednesday evening.”

     “Don’t worry about the time, I’m a night owl.  I’ll be up until about midnight.  Okay, I have to run now before I’m late.  Be a good girl and go back to bed.  Can’t have you missing out on your beauty sleep.”

     “That’s for damned sure.  If you saw me right now, you’d say I need at least a day or two’s worth.”

     He blew me a kiss and the line went dead.  I wondered if the man knew how to say goodbye.  Then I did exactly as he told me and went to bed and stayed there until nine o’clock.

     After rising and doing a little tidying up in the kitchen, I thought about calling Delia.  We were supposed to get together for our little study group if you could call two people a group.  I was sure she needed to catch up after missing class the night before and could use my help, but I was feeling a little ambivalent about her behavior during lunch the day before.  I didn’t want to hold it against her before I really got to know her, in case she was just being playful, but she also hadn’t really endeared herself to me.  As I was contemplating it, I received a call from her.

     I picked up the phone with, “Hey, I was just thinking about calling you.”

     “Beat you to it, then.  I was wondering if you still wanted to get together today to study.”

     I had no good reason to tell her no so I agreed, and we arranged to have her come to my house at two. 

     I spent the next few hours doing laundry and organizing my notes into a document on the computer so they made some kind of sense, and I could give a copy to Delia.  When she arrived, she blew into the house all aflutter and talking a mile a minute.

     “Hi there,” she said, sounding out of breath.  “I came here from my mom’s house in the East Valley.  She doesn’t get around too well so she always finds things for me to do for her while I’m there.  She kept me busy during my entire visit, and I didn’t think I’d make it here on time.  She also lives alone and my worthless brother never comes to visit, so I think she gets lonely and craves the company.  But here I am!  Mostly on time and ready to get started!”

     We set up our laptops and books in the living room on the coffee table and both sat on the floor on either side of it.  I handed her the notes I printed out for her, explaining that I thought it would help her catch up from the night before.

     “This is great and all, but you didn’t need to go to the trouble.  I figured we’d just read from the textbook, and I’d get up to speed that way.”

     “Look at it this way, you know what the most pertinent information is, and you can make a point to focus your studying on what Angela lectured on.”

     “Oh, okay,” Delia replied.  “I suppose that does make it easier.”

     “What happened to you last night, anyway?”  I asked.

     She smiled and blushed a little bit.  “Well after you left, Justin and I finished lunch, but we exchanged numbers.  I went to my mom’s house, but after I left, he and I got together at his place and hung out for a while, then went to see a movie.”

     “You went to Justin’s house?” I asked, completely astonished.  Justin almost never let women come over to his house, especially not ones he’d just met.  I was also more than a little confused as to why he would start getting so friendly with a woman he’d just met, especially when he had professed his feelings about me.  I supposed there was no harm in making a new friend, but it just didn’t seem right to me.

     “Yes, I did,” Delia said testily.  “Is there something wrong with that?”

     “Oh no, not at all.  I’m not implying anything.  He just rarely has visitors.  He’s kind of a private person so I’m just surprised.”

    “I see.  I wouldn’t have guessed.  He was very quick to offer.”

    I felt deflated.  Why would he do such a thing?  I had to ask myself again, was I jealous?  I didn’t feel that anger that usually burned with jealousy.  This just didn’t make sense to me.  Remembering the day I met Justin, and Vance’s description of him beforehand, Justin was quiet with new people.  He preferred to observe them, quietly scope them out and get a feel for their personality before opening up to them at all.  His demeanor at lunch, and now this, was beyond puzzling.  Furthermore, I didn’t know if I should ask him about it.  Did him telling me that he intended to make me his entitle me to the information even though I was not his?  I mean if I was his girlfriend, I’d be all over this.  But I wasn’t; we were dating, and while it wasn’t exactly casual, I had been adamant about not being exclusive.  I supposed he could do as he pleased, and I shouldn’t concern myself with it until my feelings changed, if they ever did.

     I cleared my throat.  “Did you have a good time?  I’m assuming you must have if you missed class for it.”

     She gave me a knowing grin and said, “Wow, did I ever!  He’s something else, that guy, and so crazy gorgeous to boot.  I’m thinking there’s some real potential here.”

     Now that floored me.  Why would she think it was okay to go after him when I told her we were seeing each other, much less tell me about it?  I didn’t know what to say.  She was acting like I’d never even said a word about my involvement with him.  I wanted to confront her on it.  What kind of friend does that?  However, I didn’t want to get into a spat with her, and I didn’t want things to be awkward in class.  I decided I’d just do as I had planned all along.  Go with the flow and see what developed.  I felt only a little bit chicken shit about it.

     I swallowed my feelings and said, “That’s nice, Delia.”

     “Yes, it is.  It was bound to happen, though.  I can see these things ahead of time.  That’s why I’m convinced there’s real potential.  I’m sure he’ll call again to see me tonight.  They always do.” she said not too haughtily.

     “Oh, I wouldn’t get your hopes up on that.  He and I have plans every Wednesday night, but I’m sure if he likes you like that, he’ll call.”

     “I’d make back-up plans tonight if I were you, Mimi,” she said with a wink.

      I was starting to get really annoyed, so I cleared my throat and forced a tight smile.  “Maybe I’ll do that.  Now, why don’t we get down to studying?”

     We spent the next two hours going over everything she had missed the night before, and only a little bit on the assignment we’d been given.  I’d have to take time the next day to work on that and do some more reading before the next class.  Hopefully, we wouldn’t have another quiz on the information. 

     I saw Delia to the door after she packed up her things.  She stopped and turned to me as I opened the door and said, “Thanks for everything today, Mimi.  I really appreciate it.  I thought I had gotten myself into such a jam by skipping last night, but you know, I just couldn’t say no.  I’m so glad I have you to depend on.”  With that, she gave me a quick hug and was out the door.  I closed it behind her feeling relieved she was gone.  I made a quick vow to look for more people to join our study group.

     I packed up my school stuff and my laptop and put them away.  I then tidied up the living room making sure everything was nice and neat before Justin came over.  He had seen the house much, much worse back when I couldn’t bring myself to do much other than get out of bed in the morning, but I was normally very organized and didn’t care for clutter.  After that, I went and took a shower as he was due to come by at six.

     When I stepped out of the shower, my phone was ringing.  I scrambled to get to it, but I was dripping wet and slipped on the tiles in the bathroom.  I didn’t injure myself other than maybe a bruised backside.  I decided whoever it was would leave a message or call back if it was important.  My safety obviously depended on me being dry before leaving the bathroom.

     Once I was back in my room and dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a pink spaghetti-strapped top, I picked up my phone.  The caller had been Justin.  There was no message.  Just as I was about to call him back, a text message from him came through.  It read:

     “Sorry, but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight.  Something has come up that I have to take care of.  Maybe we can reschedule for Friday since you have class tomorrow night?”

     I sunk down onto my bed as I read the message again.  I guessed Delia had been right after all.  I had to admit to myself that this time I was a little bit jealous, and my feelings were hurt.  Justin had declared Wednesday pizza and beer night back when I was recovering from Vance’s death.  We’d only skipped them a handful of times in three years.  To think he was ditching me for some new girl stung.  It would have bugged me even if we weren’t seeing each other.  Maybe not as much, of course, but what mattered was that it did now.

     I sent him a text back:

     “Sorry to hear that.  I can’t do Friday since this is the weekend Laurel is in town.  I’ll see you next week.  Talk to you soon.”

     If I expected some kind of response from him, I didn’t get it.

     Delia cornered me in the classroom Thursday night just before we were scheduled to begin.  She was bursting with energy and knowing smiles.  “Hi, Mimi!  I just wanted to say I’m sorry for wrecking your plans last night.”  She giggled.  “Oh, who am I kidding?  I am totally thrilled that he called me!”

     My pride demanded that I look unaffected, so I just smiled and giggled with her.  “Don’t worry, Delia.  I followed your advice and made other plans.”

     She put her hand on my arm, and said, “Oh, I’m so relieved.  I was afraid you were going to get mad.  He told me how your Wednesday night “dates” (yes, she used the finger quotation marks!) have helped to keep your loneliness at bay since your husband died.  He’s such an awesome guy to keep doing that for you even now.”

     “Delia, we’re like best friends.  He doesn’t do it out of pity,” I said, affronted.

     She waved her hand in front of her face.  “Whatever.  You know what I meant.”