Fighting To Stay (5 page)

He sighs, shaking his head back and forth. “Give me a minute,” he forces out. Garrett noticeably takes three deep breaths.

“Are… Are you okay?”

Just as he was about to answer, the server came up to take our orders. With a quick perusal of the menu, we place our orders. Once she walks away, my stomach knots.

“No, I’m not okay. The woman I’ve never been able to forget about and have tried so hard to win her heart has just told me that she, and I’m putting this lightly, was treated like shit. All I want to do is walk from this restaurant, drive to wherever this loser lives and beat the living shit out of him. So, no, I’m not okay. As for how you forget that, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to forget how shitty it was before me. Remembering will only let you see exactly how you should be treated and how I
will
treat you.”

“Why would you even want to go through this? Seriously? Why?”

He laughs softly, taking me by surprise. “You just don’t get it do you?”

Sighing in frustration, I flop back against the back of the booth. Honestly, I really didn’t get it. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I ever will understand no matter where I go from here. All I know is that he made a point earlier and I owe it to myself to follow through.

“Honestly, no, but I guess you can show me eventually. You made a valid point earlier. It would be one of my biggest regrets to turn you away. If I should not make it through this or whatever is thrown my way, I don’t want regrets. But you have to promise me something.”

The smile that spreads across his face is breathtaking. If his smile was a light, its brightness would be compared to that of a flood light, a bright beacon in the dark.

“Name it. I’d do anything in the world for you,” he says simply.

“You have to promise me that if I get worse, if it looks like I’m not going to make it…”

Leaning forward, he kisses me. It is passionate causing me to melt into him. When he pulls away, I sigh unintentionally loudly. He chuckles softly and looks at me.

“Don’t even finish that. I will be by your side every step of the way. When you beat cancer, I’ll be there. When you celebrate another year of remission, I’ll be by your side. When you turn old and gray as you watch our grandkids playing in the yard, I’ll be there right by your side. I will not promise to leave you when you need me the most. So don’t ask me.”

Unable to do anything else other than nod my head, he kisses my lips light again just as our server brings over our appetizers. The night turns around after that. It is an enjoyable meal and conversation as well as reminiscing about the past when we were kids.

“God, I didn’t think you knew about that. I’ll have to kill my brother.” I say as we walk out of the restaurant.

Garrett laughs loudly. “Oh, no, he didn’t tell me. I saw you. I was, uh,” his sentence trails off.

Smirking, I put my hands on my hips as I stop next to the vehicle. “You were what, Gare?”

“I was watching you. I was always watching you. It was the best part of my day,” he says sheepishly.

My mouth drops open in shock. “You were? You did?”

Stepping closer, he wraps his arms around me. “Best moments of my life until now,” he breathes before sealing his mouth over mine.

As the kiss deepens, I tangle my hands in his hair and pull him closer to me. His arms tighten around my waist as he leans me against the truck. His groan fills my ears as my hands tighten into fists in his hair.

My phone starts to ring breaking into our moment. Reluctantly, we pull apart, but I can’t break away from the look in his eyes. Eventually, my phone stops ringing. The silence draws out between us.

“Shall I take my queen home?”

“If you must,” I breathe.

He smirks. “Would you rather I not?”

“Well…” I blush.

“Come on, climb in. How about I take you home, but stay to watch a movie?”

My responding grin is so big it hurt my face. “Yes, that sounds wonderful.”

By the time we get to my place, I’m approaching the exhausted level. No matter how tired I am, I’m not calling off this night. Not in a million years.

He helps me out of the car and I rest my head on his shoulder as we walk up the steps. Garrett wraps his arm around me holding me close. It is an indescribable feeling having his arm around me and his head resting on my own.

Was it too soon for me to be moving on after Vince? Maybe, but this just feels so right. It feels as if it is destined to be. This isn’t just any guy though. This is Garrett Hepner, my high school and adult life crush.

“Thank you, Dee. Thank you for giving us a chance,” he says in a hushed sound that is so soft as if it is a dream.

Looking up at him, I smile. “Well, I’m a little bit selfish, what can I say,” I wink playfully.

“Me too,” he utters very softly right before kissing me.

He laces his fingers with mine as we walk the rest of the way to my apartment in comfortable silence. Once we get inside, I take his hand and lead him upstairs to my room. Pointing out the door for the bathroom, I show him the television and my stack of movies I keep in my room.

“If you’d rather rent one, we can do that too. The dish remote is over there,” I point to the end table by my bed. “I’ll be right back.”

Walking into my bathroom, I change into my pajamas after deciding that I am no longer going to decide when things happen. I’ll let them happen naturally at whatever pace it’s meant to happen. It is not as if I don’t know Garrett. I have known him since I was seven years old.

Taking a deep breath, I walk out into my room as casual as I can. Quickly grabbing my robe, I slip it on as I walk toward the bed.

“What did you decide?”

“That you are even more beautiful than I ever imagined,” his voice is hoarse, almost sounding strained.

Blushing, I look down at my hands unable to make eye contact with him. “I meant did you decide on a movie?”

“Oh, uh, yes. There’s a few on that are personal favorites of mine, but I wanted your opinion first.”

“Oh, okay.” Moving toward the bed, I pull the covers down, climbing on the bed. “What ones are those?”

There’s a long pause before I feel the bed shift next to me. “Oh, uh, there’s um…
Four Brothers
,
The Adjustment Bureau
,
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
, and
Madea’s Family Reunion
. Do any of those sound good to you?”

“They all do, but how about something light and funny. Let’s watch Madea,” I giggle.

“Sounds good,” he says as he goes back to the
On Demand
and clicks the movie.

Madea movies have always been a favorite of mine. The things this ‘woman’ comes up with are both hilarious and insightful at the same time. It never fails that I’ll laugh at some point during one of 'her' movies.

After a little bit into the movie, and sitting stiff as a board, too nervous to move, my mind shut off and is ready for sleep. Without thinking, I roll over and curl into Garrett. His breath catches in his throat on a gasp a second before his arms wrap around me with a deep exhale.

Shifting around, I vaguely feel him covering me up. He presses a soft tender kiss to my forehead.

“Do you want me to go, beautiful?”

“Huh-uh, stay, comfortable,” I mumble.

“With pleasure,” he whispers.

The smile slowly spreads across my face as he kisses my head again and shuts the television off. Scooting us down the bed a little further, he pulls the covers all the way over us. Just before I doze off, I swear I hear him say something, but for the life of me, I don’t know what it is.

Waking up, I smell the most glorious scent in the world. Eggs, bacon, potatoes, maybe pancakes… I don’t know, but yum. Stretching, I yawn as my stomach growls. Rubbing my eyes, I sit up and walk down the stairs as I adjust my robe that I slept in last night.

“Good Morning, Beautiful. Did you sleep well?”

“I did actually. Best sleep I’ve had in a very long time,” I smile at him.

He shuts off the burner, shifts the pan to another burner, walks over to me, and wraps his arms around me.

“Same here and it’s all because of you. I never imagined ever winning your heart, but damn it feels good to be here now,” he smiles.

“Who says you’ve won my heart? So many times, back in the day, I prayed for you to see me as more than a friend, but it never worked. Why now all of a sudden? Is it because I might die and this is only temporary?”

His smile drops from his face and anger fills his eyes. “This has nothing to do with
that
. It’s just the first time you’ve picked up on the hint and I’ve been brave enough to step up to the plate. How dare you think so little of me? Your brother and sister have known since we were kids that I’ve been in love with you. Yeah, maybe your health is partly why I’ve stepped up so bluntly. I don’t want to miss the chance to love you the way you deserve. Nevertheless, for me this is not now nor has it ever been temporary for me. If it was, I would have fallen out of love with you years ago." His eyes soften, "I haven’t. I love you more now than I have ever before. Please don’t degrade my feelings toward you like that.”

Tears well up in my eyes. “You really do, don’t you?”

He sighs. “This is what I’ve been trying to tell you woman!”

Giggling, a tear trails down my cheek. “I’m hard headed, what can I say? To be very honest, you have been away for two years. It’s going to be hard to believe that you could possibly feel that way about me.”

He walks over to the dining chairs, pulls one out and sits down. Resting his elbows on his knees, Garrett lets out a frustrated sigh. Leaning forward, he shoves his hands in his hair pulling at the ends. Slowly, I walk toward him and pull out a chair next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I left because I needed to improve some things on me before I finally took a step over that friendship line. More importantly, I left because I was so scared with your parents passing… I wanted to be able to be in the position to help you completely should… well this happen. Then when—when I came back a year later, you were already dating someone. It was hard to even see you from a distance with someone else. I couldn’t do it up close. Thank Heavens for fate—fate is what brought you to my office and I couldn’t be happier.”

Touching his cheek gently, I swallow. “What, uh, I mean can I ask…”

Maybe it was too personal for me to ask. On the other hand, just too soon. Either way I just couldn’t bring myself to ask him what he had to fix that took a year. The fact of the matter is that was before me. Therefore, really, I didn’t need to know.

“Forget I said anything. It’s none of my business. It’s in the past and that’s where it can stay.”

He smiles up at me, leans forward placing a small kiss on my lips. “I really do love you, Dee.”

Gazing up at him, I smile. We get lost in each other’s smile. A sudden pounding on my front door, breaks the silence and the moment. Garrett’s eyes turn questioning.

“You expecting someone before nine o’clock in the morning?”

“No, but I have a feeling I know who it is,” I huff.

“If it’s who I think it is, you are
not
answering that door,” he says walking in front of me.

“The only way I’m going to get rid of him is letting him get his say. Believe me, I’ve tried leaving him once before. Though before he’d never hit me.”

He sighs and pulls me into his arms. “Okay, I’ll give you that, but can we compromise and say just not today? Let’s have today for just us before we let the crazies in.”

Looking up at him, I smile for the millionth time already today. “I like the sound of that. Let’s go upstairs and watch movies and veg all day. It’s Friday. We can have the weekend of fun and us. I’ll just need to tell Josh and Hailey or they’ll worry.”

We walk upstairs, ignoring the incessant knocking. Giggling as Garrett starts to tickle me, I run the rest of the way up the stairs. Garrett is quickly on my heels wrapping his arms around my waist and spinning me around. The giggles turn into full-blown laughter.

Setting me down on the floor, he turns me around. “Do you know how much I love that sound?”

“No,” I laugh breathlessly.

Leaning down, he lightly brushes his lips across mine. My initial reaction is to lean in for a deeper kiss, but he changes things up. Trailing kisses across my cheek, I lose my breath. His hands rise up and gently cup my neck as he works his way back to my mouth. Smiling at me a moment before he seals his lips over mine, I feel it deep within my soul.

He’s been my everything for so long, aside from the two years we didn’t talk. Nevertheless, even in his absence, I still knew. Vince had never been the one I loved completely, but that filled that void of constant rejection by the one that completes me. Knowing what I know about him now, I’m glad he was never any more than that for me.

However, being in Garrett’s arms right now, having him kiss me like this, I have to be dreaming. That’s all there is to it. His hands move down and squeeze my ass. His need for me is pressing firmly against my stomach and a shiver runs through me. Pulling away from my mouth, he lowers his head.