Finding A Way (15 page)

Sierra makes her way to me, pushing me toward the fitting room with both hands. She continues to encourage me to try it on, shutting the fitting room door behind me.

“We go to a lot of bars, Cal. You’ll wear it eventually. Tonight we’re going out, but I’m thinking we dress comfy. I’m still exhausted from the ride back here. Well, and Evan kept me up all night.” A small giggle escapes her. I continue to contort my body to fit in the skin tight dress I’m being forced to try on.

I really don’t understand how women can wear dresses this tight and not suffocate in the process. I can’t breathe already and the dress is only half way on. I know some women love dresses, but I'm not one of them. I'll stick to my t-shirts and jean shorts.

“Where are we going tonight?” I yell over to her through the dressing room wall.

“Max’s! It’s our usual spot. It’s a small bar just outside the campus, but it’s always packed. The guys practically live there.”

I situate my dress, finally getting the thing on. I look at my reflection, stunned by what looks back at me. This dress is beautiful and it fits me perfectly. The black fabric clings to every one of my curves, putting my body on display. I look sexy and I feel it, too.

I step out of the dressing room just as Sierra does. She is in a blue dress which almost mirrors mine. She looks amazing as always. Even without shoes on, her legs look a million times better in the dress than mine ever would.

“You need to buy that! You look hot as hell, but you need some killer heels to go with that too!” she yells loudly, letting out a whistle.

I laugh at her loud banter. She’s been this way as long as I can remember. Always loud and speaking whatever is on her mind. I love that about her, even if sometimes it drives me nuts.

I look over her outfit again and jealousy rears its ugly head. Her slim figure just doesn’t compare to mine. I’m curvy with wide hips and a big ass which show my love for junk food. Her, on the other hand…she’s skinny like a model. I would kill to look like that.

“I guess I’ll get it,” I relent, still unsure.

“Yes! Let’s go!” She tugs on me excitedly.

Two hours later, after trying on every pair of heels in the store, I ended up buying a pair of pink peep toes which are a little higher than my usual taste. Sierra gushed I absolutely had to get them.

We pull up to the apartment and unload the bags from the trunk of Sierra’s car. Evan isn’t home. So, Sierra and I take advantage of the girl time and dig through our bags, examining our purchases. I made it out of the store only buying the black dress, pink high heels, a cute casual blazer, and some accessories. Sierra, on the other hand, spent about an entire month's rent with her shopping spree. That woman can freaking shop.

She sits on the floor, surrounded by her shopping bags. She pulls out a beige cotton sweater and holds it up in front of her, gushing.

"I just love shopping. I’m so happy you're here to shop with me now. Ry is a good friend, but not a good shopping partner by any means. When you live in a black t-shirt which has “Max’s” stamped across the front of it, you don’t feel compelled to buy anything if it isn’t able to be worn to work.”

I haven’t heard anyone talk about Ry, but I assume he’s friends with Evan or something. Why would a guy willingly go shopping with her? I barely want to go and I love a good shopping trip as much as the next girl.

“Ry?” I ask curiously.

“Yeah, she’s a bartender at Max’s. All the guys love her, but she likes girls. So, no worries about the guys. You’ll get to meet her tonight. She tends bar there all the time.”

“Oh. Isn’t that weird? Hanging out with her when she obviously likes girls?” I ask.

Sierra lets out a huge laugh, rolling around on the floor in the pile of bags around her. She wipes at her eyes, trying to rid them of tears.

“No, Callie. She’s freaking awesome. She hates men and that’s great for me. Whenever I’m fighting with Evan, she’s always rooting for me. It’s the best! Just wait and see! When you and loverboy have your first fight, Ryleigh will be there with open arms. She dated some guy a while back who made her swear off the male sex entirely.”

I cross my arms over my chest, scowling at her from the bed.

“Can you stop calling him that? He’s not my lover boy, and we will not be having any fights where I’ll need advice about. We are friends. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

Sierra scoffs at what she knows is a huge lie. When you know someone as long as she and I have known each other, you know when one is lying.

“Cal, do you think I’m stupid? I know you two have a thing for each other. He came over at two o’clock in the morning for Christ's sake. He has never, in the entire time I’ve known him, come to this house at that hour unless there was a party included in the equation. He obviously came to see you, and I’m not going to give you hell for it because I’m happy for you. I keep telling Evan he should knock some sense into Mac already. You two are perfect for one another,” she gushes.

I let out a long sigh, taking my long hair and twisting it to the side into a braid.

“I don’t know Sierra. Nothing will ever happen between us. So, what’s the difference? I can’t date him. He doesn’t date. So, if for some reason we got together, it would be a disaster waiting to happen.”

She gives me a sad look.

“Well, let’s just go out tonight and have fun. If something stems from your and Mac’s friendship, then just let it happen, Cal. You deserve to be happy. I love you and Evan pretty much loves you, in a sister type of way. So, we’re here for you.”

“Thank you. Who’s all going to be there tonight?” I ask, hoping she confirms Mac will be there.

He hasn’t texted me since last night and I still feel pretty bad that I pissed him off. I thought he would have texted me or something, but instead I got nothing. No calls, no texts, and it’s already four in the afternoon. I wonder what he could possibly be doing, although it's none of my business. I just don’t want anything to be awkward between us because of last night. All I keep thinking about is how he held me and how he kissed the top of my head. I don't want to lose that before I even really had it.

Sierra hangs up her new purchases and answers me from inside her closet.

“Uh, probably the usual. Me, Evan, you, and Mac. Evan and Mac’s friend Trent usually shows up at some point, but I don’t think Evan got in touch with him or Mac today, so I’m not sure if they will be there, and like I said, Ry will be bartending.”

That’s odd. I wonder why Mac wouldn’t answer Evan. Maybe he doesn’t wanna see me and that’s the reason for his ignoring Evan. I kind of hope he will be there so I can apologize to him for last night. We were having a good time until I opened my big mouth. My brain has been replaying it all morning.

“Cool, what time are we going?” I ask.

“I think we’re going around six. Evan should be home from the gym soon. So we’ll all get ready then head out, if that’s cool?” she asks as she shuts the closet door in her room.

“All right. Well then, I guess I better hop in the shower. It takes a thousand years for my hair to dry,” I admit while I walk out of her room.

Crawling
out from underneath the shitty 2001 Dodge Neon I’ve been working on all day, I hear my phone ring. I pick it up off of the work bench, seeing Evan’s name flashing across it for the fifth time today.
Fuck.
I hit the ignore button, sending it to voicemail. I’m sure he’s wondering what the hell happened last night when I stormed out of his house like a lunatic. Scratch that, I’m sure he’s calling to bust my chops about it because he
knows
exactly what happened. He knows I like Callie and he’s going to give me non-stop hell about it. I don’t just cuddle with women at odd hours of the night. I don’t do that shit. Ever. Unless they’re naked.

I got so damn pissed off at Callie last night when she blatantly lied to Evan about why I came there. She was obviously embarrassed to be caught with me and it pissed me the fuck off. Am I that bad of a guy where a girl like her wants me only as a secret? Women would pay for me to be in public with them and here’s the girl I want keeping me locked away in a fucking closet like some wicked stepchild.

For a second last night, I thought about what it would be like to have her in my arms all the time. I thought maybe we could be together one day. There was a small bit of me which thought we could be great together, but when she blabbered about how I went over to see Evan, that’s when all of my hope disappeared. I liked having her in my arms a little too much.

I barely know the fucking girl, yet there I was thinking I could give up everything bad in my life for her: The chicks, the going out, everything she wouldn’t like about me. I would give it all up just to have her to myself, completely and totally uncensored. I could change for her. Hell, I
would
change for her.

I let out a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. Grabbing my smokes off the bench, I fish one out, lighting it up. The killer is I really have no idea why she pissed me off so much last night. We are only friends and I hold no claim on her—not denying I wouldn't mind if I did. I guess avoiding her like the plague isn’t going to make anything better. Staying hidden at the shop won’t solve anything, and if I do go out tonight, acting like a jackass to her because I’m pissed off is also not going to help. The way to a woman’s heart isn’t by being a total asshole.

I check my text messages, looking past Evan’s, and see four from the one and only Caroline.

Hey. What are you doing tonight?

Are you really ignoring me?

Seriously, Mac??

Whatever. Screw you. I’m done trying.

Jesus, is she ever going to give it a rest? I mean, how many times can you text someone, get no answer, and not get the hint they don't want to fucking talk? That stupid fucking promise I made all those years ago is haunting me like a fucking ghost. It was fucking dumb. I was stupid, and I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Now I will have to deal with this shit until she finally goes away. She doesn’t know when to give it a goddamn rest. I can’t see Caroline without seeing the ghost who stays right behind her the entire time. What she doesn’t get about that shit is beyond me. It’s fucking painful for me, yet she keeps getting on my ass about seeing her. I’m over it.

I need a drink and I need pussy.

That’s what I need to forget about last night. Her little body wrapped around mine, the smell of her coconut shampoo which invaded my nose as I held her, the way her breathing sped up when I kissed her hair. It’s exactly what I need to forget about Caroline’s constant badgering too. Really, it’s a win-win situation. I can kill two birds with one stone by occupying myself with other things.
Fuck.