Finding Grace: A Novel (18 page)

But then he was overcome with a sense of
self-loathing. He hadn’t been this silly over a woman before. Not
even his wife. And he wondered what washer was missing in his brain
to make him act this way. He shook his head, snorting at himself in
disgust.

Good God man, get a hold of yourself. Why
are you mooning over a little country bumpkin? Look what you have
here at home.

But that argument didn’t hold much water,
especially of late. Over the last several days, amidst his
distraction, he’d rarely given Victoria a thought. His head was
filled with thoughts of another, though he tried his best to push
her from his mind. Several times he found himself looking at
Victoria and thinking…

I wonder what you’d do if
you knew who I was thinking about?
If you
knew whose face I sometimes see when I look at you, you’d lose your
pretty little mind.

Just last night, after a bit too much
drinking, they’d tumbled into bed and had a long, lusty night.
Right afterwards he’d fallen asleep, feeling quite satisfied.

But upon waking, he’d turned to look at his
partner and found he was quite disappointed in what he saw. Turning
away from her, he had stared out the window for a long time…
impatient for the day to arrive.

* * * * *

He felt Victoria’s presence as she entered
the dining room. He ignored her, concentrating on his newspaper. He
knew she was standing just behind him, but still he paid her no
mind. He hoped his indifference would make her throw a fit and
leave the room. But it seemed she wasn’t bothered. She reached up
to trace the trimmed hairline on the back of his neck. She was
either trying to tempt him, or hoping for something else. Perhaps
she wanted money, or a favor of some kind. Perhaps she was seeking
information. Whatever her reasons were, he was indifferent to her
touch. He sighed deeply, rather irritated, as he spoke to her.

"Weren't you pleased last night?"

There was an amused note to her voice.

"I was more than pleased."

He felt her fingers running through his
hair. To that gesture of affection, he reached up to take by the
hand, leading her to the chair next to him. Then he promptly went
back to reading his paper.

She pulled out her chair and sat down. He
didn’t look directly at her, but he could see how she was trying to
maintain a cool and collected aspect. As she ate her breakfast she
made small talk, most of which he didn’t pay attention to. She
sought information…that was her motive, he now realized. But he
didn’t intend to give her much to go on. Whatever his thoughts or
intentions, they were his own business. From the corner of his eye
he saw how she lifted her coffee cup and, with a mask of innocence,
peered over the rim as she sipped.

"You've been restless these last few days.
You're not getting sick, are you?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine.” He continued
to read his paper. Several long moments went by before she posed
her next question.

"I talked to Hal yesterday. He said the two
of you had some kind of scuffle the other night. Some girl wandered
backstage or something. Hal said you jumped on him like a dog after
a bone. What was that all about?"

None of your
business
, was his first thought. But for
the sake of satisfying his own curiosity…to determine exactly what
course she was pursuing…he chose to humor her.

"He was being rude to a guest.” As he
thought of Grace, he found himself getting angry all over again…and
he couldn’t keep the displeasure from his voice. "She was just a
kid who wandered where she didn't belong. She wasn't bothering
anyone. And he started acting like a fool, so I called him on it. I
won't have anyone treating my patrons with disrespect."

He snapped the page of his paper…as if to
tell her, without speaking, that her questions were beginning to
irritate him. She knew he hated to be questioned. And yet, she kept
on.

"I take it she wasn't one of the regulars.
She must not have been, if she was wandering around the place that
way, looking it over and getting herself in trouble."

For the first time that morning, he looked
at her directly, his expression stern.

"What’s this inquisition about the other
night? Those kinds of things have happened before. They’ll happen
again. It's all part of the business, Victoria. You know that."

He kept his eyes locked on her until she
looked away. From the way she sat back in her chair, he could see
she would prod no further for information. Satisfied that he’d
silenced her for the moment, he went back to reading his paper.
There were several minutes of silence that passed before she began
with her small talk again.

"So, are we going to the lake to watch the
fireworks tonight?"

For the first time that
morning, she had his attention. He’d completely forgotten that it
was Independence Day. He recalled that today would be the annual
block party. The neighbors would all be there.
Each and everyone.

Suddenly, the day became full of promise.
But he was careful not to let Victoria see how he felt. He tried to
maintain a careless expression.

“
I suppose we could go to
the lake if you like. But before that, there’s the block party to
go to. And we have to be sociable with the neighbors, whether we
like it or not.”

To that, Victoria wilted a
little. He tried not to express his satisfaction. He knew that in
order to keep up appearances, he would have to take her with him.
But it was his hope that she would do what she usually did, which
was to find a corner and sulk. She didn’t like his neighbors, who
in turn didn’t think highly of a divorced woman living with her
lover. Out of respect for him, they treated her politely.
But
her
friends
were artists, musicians, and actors who lived in the Pilsen
neighborhood, and she wouldn’t find any of them at the party
tonight. It was his hope that while he conversed with people, she
would go off on her own. And then, he could talk to whomever he
pleased. One person, in particular. To her sulky expression, he
thought to add a little twist of guilt, just for good
measure.

"I’m doing you a favor by going to the lake.
You can do me a favor by going to the party. It’s only fair,
wouldn’t you say?”

He looked at her, and after a moment he saw
her frame slack in defeat.

“
Very well,” she replied.
“I’ll humor you for tonight.”

A smirk, very small, appeared on his face.
His thought was childish…but gleeful.

So, little mouse. The game has begun…

* * * * *

The book sat on the top of the dresser, just
within Grace’s eyesight as she sewed. Since it had showed up on her
doorstep six days ago, she’d kept it hidden in her dresser drawer
to avoid temptation. She didn’t want anything to do with Henry Shaw
or his gift, and for the most part, she’d done well in forgetting
him.

Except for the little matter of Henry, life
with Jack and Alice was so peaceful, so content. Even the housework
was more of a pleasure than a chore. It helped that Alice had her
very own selection of machines to help her along. The first time
Grace watched a washing machine, she saw the satisfaction that
Alice took in it, and her declaration seemed to say that she hadn’t
forgotten how things had once been.

“
To hell with washboards and
bleeding fingers,” she said with a smile.

Just as there had been at home, there was a
back yard garden from which she and Alice gathered vegetables, but
the patch was small and took no time at all to tend. Most of what
they needed they bought when they went to market, which they did
every other day or so.

Of all the little luxuries they had, it
seemed that time was what they most enjoyed. There was no need to
slave from dusk til’ dawn, and in those wonderful spare moments,
they all reveled in whatever idle activity came to mind. Jack
seemed to take the most pleasure in his freedom. Seeing how he was,
she had to wonder if he was making up for a childhood and youth
spent in servitude. It wasn’t unusual, especially at night, to find
him walking around the house with a glass of milk in one hand and
cookies in the other. He had his own chair in the living room…a
large leather wingback right beside the radio…that he claimed was
fashioned just for him, and he got fussy if anyone else sat in
it.

“
My hind end has made its
mark in this seat,” he often said. “If you sit in it, you’ll mess
up the dents.”

She sometimes liked to sit in the chair just
to tease him, but it was all in good fun. Life was happy, and it
would have been perfect…if not for a certain person lurking just
across the street.

She knew he was probably watching from
somewhere, just waiting for the chance to antagonize her. But she
was determined not to let him. She’d gotten quite good at sneaking
out of the house, while always watching for him.

She and Alice went downtown a few times,
getting lost in the huge department stores or going sightseeing. On
one of their trips they’d found the material and patterns that she
wanted for her dressmaking. The room where she now slept had been
the sewing room, complete with a fine sewing machine, and she had
kept herself busy with her work. But this morning as she’d been
rifling through her dresser drawer, she’d come across the book that
Henry had left.

It was so tempting to put everything else
aside and read it, as much as she loved a good story. But she’d
told herself she wouldn’t, and with a determination to stick to her
word, she had tossed it down on the dresser top.

Now while she worked, she occasionally
glanced over at the book that lay just within her reach, and more
than once she was tempted to go over and pick it up.

But she kept telling herself she didn’t want
anything to do with the gift, even if it was a book…and books were
like gold to her. She wanted nothing to do with Henry or anything
concerning him, and she was determined to keep her vow.

It was just after seven that Saturday
morning. Jack was out playing golf with a friend, and she was in
her room, busy once again. There was a knock on the door. A moment
later, Alice came in.

“
How’s it going in here?”
She came to stand just behind her, looking over her
shoulder.

Grace put a spool of thread on the bobbin.
“Pretty good I think. I finished this one last night.” She held up
the dark violet dress she had completed. “I was working on it all
day yesterday.”

Alice smiled, brushing her fingers over the
embroidery. “You sure have a way with a needle.” She looked around
the room, and seeing the book on the dresser, she went to it up.
Her smile became a cheeky grin as she looked at it. “You haven’t
read it yet, have you?”

Grace looked up for a moment. Then her eyes
fell back to her sewing. “Nope. Not yet.” She tried to sound
casual. But Alice was too clever to be fooled.

“
It’s because it’s from
Henry. That’s why you won’t read it.”

Grace’s head shot up. Her eyes grew wide
with surprise. “How did you know it was from him?”

Alice only shrugged. “It was just a guess. I
figure you don’t know anyone else around here. And I know this is
one of his favorite books, because he gave Jack a copy of it a long
time ago. So now we know who the secret admirer is.”

Grace stopped her sewing, setting the
material down on the machine. She turned to look at Alice, who had
taken a seat on the edge of the bed. Looking almost like a little
girl, she dropped down on her stomach and leaned her head in her
hand, a big smile on her face.

“
I saw him watching you the
other night. He was standing under the stairs, and I’m sure he
thought no one could see him. But I did.”

For a long moment, Grace was stunned
speechless. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Then she
shook her head, quickly retrieving her material.

“
If he likes me, he sure has
a funny way of showing it. The few times I’ve seen him, he’s been
just awful. That’s what happened the other night, when I wanted to
come home so fast. All I did was take a little walk around the back
stage, and he jumped all over me for it. He was meaner than a
snake.”

Alice sat up just a little, more interested
than before. “So that’s what it was. I was wondering what went
wrong. Well whatever you do, don’t tell your brother about that.
He’ll have a fit, that’s for sure and for certain.”

“
Don’t worry, I won’t say a
thing, if you won’t. And about Henry liking me…well, I don’t think
he likes me the way you think. He probably just looks at me like a
new toy he’s found. He’d have his fun and then toss me aside like
an old shoe.”

Alice laughed a little. “Maybe you’re right.
But you know, some women don’t mind that. Especially with someone
who looks like Henry. He’s a sight to see, coming and going.” Then
a naughty little glint shined in her eyes. “I like to watch him go,
if you know what I mean.”

Realizing what Alice meant, Grace felt her
cheeks flush a little. She tried to maintain composure, for she
still wasn’t quite used to hearing such talk. But she couldn’t help
the slight giggle that escaped her. “You’re a little devil, you
know that?”

Alice just grinned, all innocence. “I’m a
good little angel. My halo is a little bent and crooked, but it’s
still there.”

Smiling but with a slight roll of her eyes,
Grace went back to her project.

Alice rose to her feet, coming to stand at
her sister-in-law’s side, rubbing her shoulder. “You know, you
might want to give him a chance. Personally, I think all that
grumbling he does is just an act. Maybe what he needs is someone
sweet like you, to bring out his better side.”