Finding Grace: A Novel (28 page)

Crossing his arms defensively, he snorted
with displeasure. "What difference does it make what I think?
You're just going to do whatever the hell you want to anyway."

She grumbled in frustration. "Oh Jack, I'm
not stupid. I know how to take care of myself. And if I make
mistakes, they're my mistakes to fix, not yours."

He was silent for a moment, as if he were
absorbing the things she said. Then he spoke, his voice low and
disenchanted.

"So what am I suppose to do? It's my job to
be in there pitching for you. Am I supposed to stand back and let
someone else throw the ball?"

She nodded her head. "Yes, and that someone
is me. I can think for myself. I can do for myself. You may not
like it, but that’s the way it is.”

He sighed, mumbling something under his
breath. It was the sound of acceptance…reluctant as it was, coming
from him. She wanted to smile, but kept herself from it, knowing
that it was difficult enough for him to accept defeat. Her gloating
would just be salt in a wound. After a brief silence he sighed, the
sound rather sad.

"So where does that leave me?"

Her tone became soft, trying to comfort him.
"It leaves you in the same place you always were. I'll always need
you around for one reason or another. You always come in handy, you
know. You always did.”

He didn’t seem any happier, judging from his
tone. "Do you remember when I taught you how to fight?"

She smiled. “You sure taught me how to give
a good right hook."

He shrugged. "Yeah, well…I always hoped you
could stand up for yourself. But now that you really can, I don't
know if I like the idea so much. What good am I to you now? What's
my worth?"

She didn’t miss a beat in replying. “About
ten or fifteen cents.”

He looked at her and huffed. "Wise ass.” She
moved over to give him a peck on the cheek, which he immediately
wiped away in disgust.

"Good Lord, Gracie, don’t do that.” He
rubbed his cheek viciously. “You know I hate the mushy stuff.”

She knew he was just putting on a show, and
she smiled and laughed. She rose to her feet, declaring that she
was tired and ready to call it a night. He agreed, following behind
her. As they went up the stairs, he turned to her.

“
Can I go over and punch
Henry in the nose?”

She rolled her eyes. “No.”

He grumbled. “Well I need to get something
out of all this. Some bruised knuckles might be just the cure for
my pride. Lord knows, there’ll be hell to pay for that fight I had
with Alice. I’ll probably end up sleeping on the couch.”

She gave him a sympathetic pat on the
shoulder as they parted ways at the top of the stairs.

“
Good night,
Jack.”

Chapter 14

“
Ambitions and Old
Ghosts
”

He walked into the dark and silent house.
Strange, he thought, how empty a home could suddenly be. And yet,
the emptiness did not affect him as much as it might have. In a
way, it was rather peaceful now. And he was glad to find that all
of his belongings were as he’d left them. It wouldn’t have been a
shock to come home and find everything he owned broken, shredded,
or on a bonfire on the front lawn. But she hadn’t touched a thing,
so he considered himself lucky. Now he could focus his thoughts and
energy on what to do about Grace.

Tonight, it seemed he’d found one of the
keys to unlocking the little puzzle she was. It seemed to him that
she hungered for kindness...for simple human affection, and he
could certainly see why. She was starved for it. But the lack of it
had also made her thorny as a wild rose. Now he understood why shy
shied away from him as she did. Oh, she put up a good fight when
backed into a corner, but without primal instinct to strengthen
her, she was fragile and soft. He’d seen the vulnerability in her.
But it was like looking into a cage. He could see her in all her
sweetness and beauty, but he couldn’t get close to her. He couldn’t
touch her in any way, be it physically or emotionally. So what
could he do to get past that barrier around her?

He went to the wall near the staircase.
Hanging there was a painting, and taking it down off the wall, he
opened a small liquor cabinet.

A fine
thing
, he thought,
When a man has to hide away his liquor from the entire
world
. He wasn’t much of a drinker, but
there were times like now when a good bourbon seemed to calm his
nerves. He poured himself a glass, setting it down on the credenza
while he carefully realigned the painting on the wall. Prohibition,
it seemed, had made criminals of the most common man, including
himself. But what could one do but live with it? He took his glass,
walking to the sofa and sinking down on it.

If he wanted to get to her, he knew they
would have to spend time together. Surely time and tenderness would
do the trick. But how could he convince the little skeptic to trust
him, let alone spend more than a few hours in his company? Tonight
had been a fluke...a mere coincidence, though a welcome one. He
thought about courting her, and the idea was tempting. But he was
quite certain she wouldn’t accept him that way, even if he tried,
and he knew for sure that her brother wouldn’t allow it. Then, an
idea came to him like a bolt from the blue.

Hire her as an employee.

It seemed like such an obvious answer. For a
moment he let himself imagine the idea of seeing her every day,
without worrying that she would flee at any moment. As her boss, he
would have her in one place and she would be under obligation to
him. But more than that, he could see her whenever he wished,
instead of trying to steal little snippets of time. It made him
grin to think of seeing her all the time, hearing her adorable
little twangy speech. The warmth he felt at the idea, of being near
her so often, made him wonder what to call this budding feeling. He
dared not call it love. But it was more than friendship. He wasn’t
sure what to name it. Deep affection, perhaps? That seemed the only
term that came close.

It was a strange feeling to care for someone
after so many years of caring only for himself. Over the years he’d
managed random acts of generosity, the Langdon wedding being one of
them. Out of respect for an old friend and admiration for the great
lady that Alice was, he’d not thought twice about giving them their
start. But not since the first days of being with Mary had he felt
the need to give on an emotional level. In a certain sense, he
considered himself lucky that he’d had the means of exorcising his
demons. He’d used women, used his wealth and standing to meet his
own selfish needs. Selfishness had been a luxury he could afford,
and he’d indulged shamelessly in it.

But poor Grace. She'd never known the joy of
being selfish. She’d been too busy fending off the blows of life.
Lord, it seemed so wrong for a seventeen-year-old girl to have
suffered through such a miserable life.

Well if I have my way, there will be some
changes made.

Only one thing needed to be done. He had to
get her on his side. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do it, but
he was bound and determined to figure it out, one way or
another.

* * * * *

The next morning as she came out of her
room, dressed and ready to face the day, she saw Alice in the
hallway, still in her robe and looking forlorn. Clearly she was
still upset from last night’s fight, but Grace did her best to be
cheerful.

“
Good morning,” she
said.

Alice tried to smile back, though it clearly
wasn’t true.

“
Good morning, sis. Are you
going down to fix breakfast?”

Grace nodded. But Alice put a hand on her
arm.

“
Don’t fix him anything. I
have something special in mind. I’ll be down in a little
while.”

Grace shrugged. “If you prefer.” She smiled
at her again. Making her way downstairs, she wondered just what
special treat was in store for Jack.

As she neared the bottom of the stairs, she
heard a loud snore coming from somewhere in the living room, and
she smiled. So it was just as he'd predicted. Alice had banished
him to the sofa after their argument. She couldn’t help but be
amused, and her curiosity drew her quietly toward the source of the
noise.

She found him lying there on his back, his
mouth agape as he snored. One hand rested on his chest. The other
hung down, nearly touching the carpet. One leg was bent, and one
was straight. Most of the blanket covering him was on the floor.
She shook her head as she looked at him, taking up the blanket to
spread it over him.

He suddenly gave a jolt, as if electrocuted.
With a cry of terror he jolted up, eyes wide with fear, his breath
coming fast. He looked around as if not knowing where he was.

Grace jumped back in shock, standing away
from him for several long moments. This was no waking from a bad
dream, or anything of that sort. She had seen pure madness in his
eyes.

"Are you all right?"

For another moment he was silent, still
wide-eyed. But the calm and clarity had started to come back, and
to her question he nodded.

"It's just an old reflex.” As he sat up
fully, straightening his shirt and smoothing his hair, he seemed to
calm.

As he became at ease, so did she. And yet,
she was rather upset with him for scaring her so, even if it was
not intentional. And she scolded him.

"Lord, Jack, you nearly scared the pee out
of me." She sat down beside him. "What was that about, anyway?"

He sighed. "A battle scar." He sat for
several moments, lost in thought, running a hand across his weary
face.

"From the war?"

He was silent, but after a moment he nodded
his head.

There was a note of caution in her voice.
“Jack, how come you and Henry are so different about the war? You
seem so settled most of the time, so calm...well, except for what
just happened. But you seem so happy. And Henry seems so…I don’t
know. Broken, I guess. Even though he’s pretty good at hiding
it.”

At the mention of Henry, Jack turned to look
at her with an expression both curious and dark. "How would you
know about Henry's problems?"

She shrugged. "I talked to him a little last
night.” She knew he wouldn’t be happy to hear that, but it seemed
that his fatherly concerns didn’t affect her as they once had. And
yet she loved him as much as ever, and had no wish to rub salt in
his wounds, even when he was chastising her like now.

“
So that's where you were,
out on the town with that crumb."

"Don't be ugly like that. And why are you so
hateful about him now? I thought you were good friends?"

"We were until last night. Until he started
sniffing around you. Now I have to treat him like any other mangy
mongrel." He leaned back against the cushions, letting his head
come to rest on the edge of the sofa. He smiled and chuckled as a
memory came to him.

"Remember when Mama shot that old hound of
ours for sniffing around the hens and stealing eggs?" He glanced at
her, seeing her nod. "Maybe I should do that to Henry...That danged
old dog.”

She rolled her eyes. But she wouldn’t let
his friction with Henry deter her from the subject. “So why do you
figure he’s like he is? You both went through the same war, didn’t
you?”

Once more he was silent, seeming to think
deep thoughts, but she didn’t push for an answer. She knew her kind
of questioning had to be approached gingerly, for the subject was
such a sensitive one it bordered on being explosive. At long last
he spoke to her.

“
I was just lucky, baby
sister. If there’s such a thing as luck when you’re in hell. And
Henry spent a longer time in it than I did. So maybe that’s why he
is the way he is. But then you’ve got to figure what happened when
he came home. I found my little honey when I got back, and his ran
out on him.”

She sighed sadly, thinking of the woman who
had once broken Henry’s heart.

“
I almost forgot about
Mary.”

Despite the fact that Jack thought ill of
his old friend, Grace couldn’t share in his animosity. At one time,
maybe she could have. But now, her heart almost ached for him. “I
reckon you don’t believe it, but I figure he’s pretty lonesome, and
that’s why he acts like he does.”

Jack made a cynical noise. "So just because
a man is lonesome, that means he should shack up with any pretty
gal that comes along? Remember what I told you about his
women?”

"But what difference does that make to me?
I'm not one of them, and I don't plan on being one."

"I hope not," he declared. He leaned
forward, running a hand over his face. "I don't want to talk about
this anymore. I'd rather talk about breakfast, if you don't mind.
I'm starving."

She suddenly remembered what Alice had told
her.

“
I almost forgot, Alice said
she had something special for you for breakfast. What do you reckon
she’s making?”

The look on his face puzzled her. He almost
seemed troubled.

“
What’s that look for?” she
asked.

But he just shook his head. “It’s nothing.
Never mind.”

He rose to his feet, following her, and they
found the kitchen quiet and empty. While he sat at the table to
wait, she went to the coffee pot and started fixing it.

“
Do you suppose she’ll mind
if I make you some coffee?”

He only shrugged, letting out a sigh, and
she could tell in his tone he was not happy. She couldn’t speak for
him, but she guessed he was none too pleased being at odds with his
wife. And it was understandable, considering how well they usually
got on.