Finding Harmony (10 page)

The tiniest of tears trickled down the side of my face and it was at that moment I realized I truly loved Trey. He was proud to have me as his girlfriend; he would’ve shouted it from the rooftops if he could’ve.

More than just realizing that I loved Trey that night, I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Trey had more than just a piece of my heart, he had a piece of my soul and I would be forever bound to him by the love and connection we shared. No man could ever measure up to Trey, no man could ever fill his shoes or take his place.

He was my soul mate.

He shifts on the couch next to me, stretching out his legs before opening those hypnotizing brown eyes. For a while we just lay there together, staring at one another and smiling.

We were allowed to indulge in this moment together; after all, we had four years of making up to do.

“Morning, sunshine.”

He flashes me his signature grin. I loved that grin, no matter how much he changed his style, his clothes or his hair, the one thing that never changed with Trey was this earth shattering smile. It was so wonderful to he see him smiling again.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

He slips his fingers under my chin tenderly and lifts my face up so that my lips meet his. I melt into him, surrendering myself to his talent as I feel him smiling into the kiss.

“God, you’ve got no idea how much I’ve missed waking up next to you in the morning”, he says softly as he repositions himself against the couch. “Even if it’s after a night of nothing but kissing.”

“Well, maybe we should make a habit of doing it more often.”

“Definitely”.

“Trey?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Harmony, more than life itself.”

The rain was hammering against the windows violently as I finished making a big mug of coffee before returning to the living area and joining Trey on the sofa.

“Harmony, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, fire away.”

“I mean, obviously I know about Leo, but was there ever anybody else, like; did you ever fall in love with anyone else after me?”

I contemplated his question deeply.

“Well, now that you mention it… there is Someone that I’ve fallen in love with.”

“Like a fling, or dating?”

“No, I wouldn’t call it that. More of a deep, relationship.”

His eyebrows wrinkle together in distaste, clearly not enjoying the thought but he gives me his best attempt at a smile under the circumstances, encouraging me to continue.

“It’s… well, it’s with God, Trey.”

The smile on his face freezes, and he waits.

“I… oh I don’t want to sound crazy, but… I was raised to believe in the Lord, and to love him and…” I rushed on, not looking at Trey, trying to get the words out right. “And for a long time I left Him. But now…” I pause, and look up. “I think He led me back to you. And I don’t know why, or for what reason… but I do believe it. And I want to know, deeply, both of you. And be with both of you: Him and you, in my life.” I wait for him to tell me I’m crazy, or to call me a Bible-thumper.

He laughs, pulling me into him.

“Baby, whatever you believe is okay with me. I don’t know a lot about the Big Guy in the Sky, but if it makes you feel good, then I support it.”

Relief floods through me. “Really?”

Trey kisses my forhead. “Really.”

I pause again. Possibilities are racing through my head. “Hey… Trey?”

“What do you want to know, sugar?”

“Do you think we could move away from here? I mean just pack our stuff and go, start our lives all over again?”

He looks at me seriously, cupping my face in his hands.

“I think I’d like that, very much.”

***

              “Freddy… it’s your turn…”

I change into yet another uncomfortable position on the sofa for the umpteenth time that night, waiting for Freddy to get up and tend to Trey.

The groans and cries from Trey’s room intensifying with each passing moment.

The great big lug at the other end of the sofa tosses and turns before answering back.

“Hmmph, no I did it last time, it’s your turn.”

“But you’re closer, just go.”

“No, you.”

I wait a while longer until it’s obvious that Freddy isn’t budging. Fine, I suppose I’ll have to go… yet again.

I get up slowly from the sofa and make my way across the dark room and down the hall towards Trey’s bedroom, trying to avoid the death traps of shoes and beer bottles scattered all over the floor.

I open the door to Trey’s room cautiously, unsure of what sate I’ll find him in. Tonight, like most nights before, he’s lying on the floor, his body convulsing. Without hesitation I run to him, kneeling on the floor beside him and pulling him into me. I can feel the cold sweat which has saturated his body as I sweep his dreads and a few loose strands of hair away from his face.

Trey was on lockdown. Freddy and I had been taking turns at watching over him as often as we could. We were determined to get Trey off the drugs once and for all. I thought I’d be able to help him get through it, easy; after all, I’d gone through this whole process myself. And yet, seeing the person you love in so much pain was becoming unbearable

He clung on to my body violently, nearly tearing shreds out of my skin. I would’ve yelped out at the pain he was inadvertently inflicting on me, only I knew that what he was going through was a hell of a lot worse.

He was murmuring a load of nonsense, his whole body shaking, the sweat from his face and the tears streaming from his eyes wetting right through my top.

“I-I need mo-more… I-I can’t do i-it.”

This was the reason I didn’t want children. I’d be one of those parents who ended up over-feeding their kids because they just couldn’t say ‘No’. But I had to say ‘No’ to Trey, no matter how hard he pleaded. I wasn’t going to give in. No methadone or any other kind of drugs to wean him off the ones he was already on. We were doing this hard way whether he liked it or not. Cold Turkey.

“C’mon, we need to get you into bed.”

It was a struggle just to get him off the floor when his own two legs couldn’t even support him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and with every ounce of strength in me, pulled him up off the floor and laid him into his bed.

Once I made sure that he was wrapped up tighter than an Egyptian Mummy, I went and fetched him plenty glasses of cold water and damp cloths to help ease off all the sweating.

“I’m go-going t-to die, Harmony.”

I held is face in my hands, gently wiping away the tears beneath his red-rimmed eyes. He was so weak right now, so vulnerable. His eyes were dark and heavy, his pale skin verging on translucent, giving way to the intricate maze of veins that stretched out around his frail body.

“No, Trey, you’re not going to die, I wouldn’t let that happen to you. Besides, you’re stronger than that; I know that you can do it.”

I sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair until his eyes finally closed and he momentarily drifted off to sleep.

I’d be glad when this whole ordeal was over with. Freddy and I had decided that as soon as Trey was better, we were taking him back home to Germany. Neither of us wanted to spend any more time in this wretched hell hole than was required.

The first few days were the hardest. Trey was in so much pain and between Freddy and I, we barely ever left his side. We were all exhausted; I suggested just taking him to rehab but Trey was adamant that he didn’t want to go.

The whole process of getting Trey cleaned up was tiring but the end result of all the blood, sweat and tears would be well worth it. As soon as Trey managed to clean up his act, every trace of Miranda who had managed to worm her way into his system with her empty promises and drugs would be gone. He’d no longer be dependent on her. He’d be mine and only mine.

I don’t know what the future has in store for Trey and me. Will we live together in Germany and finally have our ‘happily ever after’? All I know is that I’m determined not to mess things up this time around. My priorities have changed a lot over the years. I don’t crave the fame anymore; I’m not addicted to it like I used to be. Instead I’ve found a new addiction: Trey. I think anywhere could be home when I’m with Trey, I lost him once and I’m going to make sure it never happens again. I’m going to make him realize that he can’t live without me.

The first few weeks were the hardest, as they are with any recovering drug addict, but Trey was making quick progress. Freddy and I found that we didn’t have to watch him like a hawk all day long any more, which I was glad about as it meant I could finally get a decent night’s sleep. Before we knew it, Trey was back to his old self. I can’t begin to describe how relieved I am to have him back.

His withdrawal symptoms became less and less each day, something I was ecstatic about as it meant Trey wasn’t in as much pain. I knew Trey was stronger than he looked but I had to admit, I was a little surprised at how quickly he had managed to turn things around. It was really quite remarkable.

We filled up our days with trips to the coffee shop, we went shopping an awful lot, took Indi out for long walks and when it was too cold to venture outside we remained wrapped up in doors watching movies or playing games.

It was a nice mellow way to spend the day. We were all so much more relaxed than we had been in what felt like forever. It also became apparent that the twins were getting along like old times again, something I was positive both of them were relieved at. I suppose, in a way, when Trey deteriorated down the deceitful path of drugs, to an extent, Freddy had kind of lost his brother.

It didn’t take a genius to work out how happy Freddy was to have his little brother back again. Freddy might play the big tough guy but underneath it all, he needs Trey just as much as Trey needs him.

It was now late January. I was cuddled up into Trey on the sofa in his apartment watching some movie on TV. For a skinny dude he’s extremely cuddly, I could spend the rest of my life lying all snuggled up to Trey.

I fiddled around in my pockets for a cigarette but couldn’t seem to find my lighter.

“Shoot.”

“What is it, sweetie?”

“Do you have a lighter I could use, I can’t find mine?”

“Sure, there should be one in my bag, it’s in the bedroom just go and help yourself.”

“Thank you.”

Before getting up I softly planted my lips against his, feeling him smile into the kiss as I deepened it, running my fingers through his dreaded hair. Our mouths opened slightly, my tongue searching for the little metal ball in his mouth that I loved so much. I could hear him moan gently, making me chuckle. I loved how easily turned on Trey was.

“You taste so good, baby.”

I smiled to myself before pulling away from him and getting up to find this lighter.

“Nooo, come back!” He whined.

“Haha, sorry doll face.”

“You’re such a tease, Harmony.”

“I know, don’t you love it?” I smiled innocently at him.

His face formed into a little pout but I could see the excitement tugging at the corners of his mouth.