Finding Her Way (18 page)

Heading for the backyard, Sarah slammed the door behind her.

Her mother looked from the door to Madison who was raising her shoulders in mock confusion.

I win
, Madison beamed inwardly. Turning her attention back to her mom, she asked,. “Why is dad outside with Robbie?”
 
 

“Well, I image Martin has told you this overpowering aroma is from my grandson,” she answered, nodding her head. “Your father thought it might be a good idea if they spent some time outside in hopes the scent would diminish.”

“I think a hot shower and a good scrubbing would do a better job.”

Strolling to the sink to look out the window at the yard, she saw that little Robbie was running around with the football and her dad was hot on his trail. Madison looked down into the sink, feeling a little sadness as she realized her dad finally had a boy in the family. “I guess I should go out there and save George,” Martin said standing next to her.

“Martin!” Madison punched him the arm. “Don’t sneak up on me, you ass.”

Martin rubbed his arm were she had hit him. “Mother Jeffery, are you going to let her treat me like that?”

“I probably would have hit you, too if you had sneaked up on me like that,” her mother said not looking up from the bowl she was wiping dry.

“Tough crowd,” Martin smiled at them. “I’d better go outside were I’m appreciated.”

Madison watched Martin act like a wounded animal as he joined the others. She stood at the window for a few minutes longer, watching everyone share Robbie’s attention.

“So, Madison,” she cringed when she heard her mother speak in a questioning tone. “How are you doing?”

Madison exhaled and turned around to face the inquisition. “I’m doing fine, Mom. The new job is good, very busy.” Madison moved closer to the table.

“So, you’re still working for, um…what was her name?”

“Olivia, Mom.”

“Yes, Olivia. I thought that job was only temporary.”

“I’ve only worked for her six years now. The experience and connections I am making now, I’ll be able to take anywhere in my career,” Madison answered, a little confused. Her father usually asked these types of questions. “Mom, is this really what you want to talk to me about?”

Audrey knew her tactic was transparent to her daughter and decided to be honest. “No dear, it’s not. How are you really doing?”

Madison sat at the table across from where her mother was standing. “Honestly Mom, I’m doing fine. I’m not dating anyone and haven’t been for almost a year now. I don’t have any children I don’t know about and since there’s been no dating, there is no significant other. Olivia has signed a contract with this company for at least two years. Therefore, if I continue to work for her, I’ll be in New England for the next two years. Did I cover everything?”

Audrey was making imaginary figure eights on the tabletop with her index finger, thinking. “You know I love you.”

Here it comes,
Madison thought as she sat back in her chair.

“I just worry that you’re living alone in that big city. I want you to find someone, settle down, and be happy. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”

“Why can’t you understand that I am happy with my life? I’m only in my mid-twenties. I’m not ready to settle in my work or my love life. I’m not Sarah and will never be.”

Audrey heard the anger in her daughter’s voice. “Don’t take that tone with me.”

Madison looked down at the table.

“I never asked you to be Sarah. I just worry about the paths you are taking in life.”

Closing her eyes, Madison counted, trying to control the anger that was building inside. Reaching the number ten, she opened her eyes, speaking just above a whisper, “You’re talking about my career, right, Mom? Because, we will be headed for an argument real quick if you’re talking about my personal life…again and the fact that you don’t approve of my lifestyle.”
 

Audrey paused as if debating her next sentence.

“Hey! That smells good. Is supper ready?” George asked as he entered the house with the tribe following close behind.

Audrey greeted her husband with a hug, whispering in his ear.

George forced a smile as he looked from his wife to his daughter. He could tell by the expression on Madison’s face that the rest of the family had interrupted something important between the two of them and neither one of them seemed happy.

“Robbie, go give your auntie a hug,” Martin said as he stepped aside.

Madison’s face softened the instant she saw Robbie running toward her. Standing quickly, she picked him up in her arms, swinging him around in a tight bear hug.

“Auntie Roo,” Robbie yelled as she carefully settled him back on the ground.

“You’ve gotten so tall since the last time I saw you. How’s my handsome young man doing?”

“I’m doing great. I’ve missed you, Auntie Roo. Did you bring me something?”

The innocence of a child, Madison thought.

“Robbie, that’s not polite. You don’t ask people for presents,” Sarah corrected her son harshly.

Madison could see the sadness in Robbie’s eyes, knowing he would have to apologize. She interrupted him before he could speak, “As a matter of fact, yes, I did bring something for you, little one, but I think we are just about to have supper. I’ll give it to you later, okay? Now I need you to do me a favor. Please take these folded napkins to the table, placing one at each dish setting for me. Can you do that?”

A big smile spread across Robbie’s face as he carefully took the napkins from her hand raced into the dining room. Robbie looked back at his dad, who gave him thumbs up as he exited the room.

“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Sarah commented dryly.

“Robbie just loves his Auntie that’s all. He knows I’ll always bring him something when I return home. It’s no big deal,” she said, returning to her seat.

Everyone started mulling around the kitchen as Sarah went to the sink to wash her hands. Sarah turned to face Madison. With an evil smirk on her face, she mumbled just loud enough for Madison to hear. “Well, since you don’t have any children, I guess you wouldn’t know any better.”

Madison was on her feet in seconds rushing toward Sarah with anger in her eyes.

Sarah’s grin broadened as she stepped behind an unaware Martin for protection.

Martin, who had been talking to his father-in-law, turned just in time to grab Madison’s right arm as it reached for his wife.

“Hey,” Martin cried out. “What’s going on here?”

“Let go of my wrist, Martin, and step out of the way. This is between Sarah and me.”

Martin realized Madison wasn’t looking at him, but through him at Sarah.

“I don’t think so,” Martin tightened his grip. “Why don’t you and I go out on the porch for some fresh air.”

Still holding her wrist, Martin put his other hand on her shoulder, backing Madison toward the door.

“All right,” Madison yelled ripping her wrist from his grasp. “I’ll go outside.”

Audrey turned to her eldest daughter. “Wipe that smug look off your face, young lady, and tell me what the hell just happened.”

Grabbing a spare sweatshirt off the back of a kitchen chair, Martin followed Madison outside, leaving her parents confused as to what had just transpired.

Madison followed the wraparound porch to the front of the house. The view from the front of the house was spectacular. Across the street from her parent’s house, was a panoramic view of Collins Cove. The sun glistening off the water always relaxed her. She never appreciated the serenity that the porch offered until now. Madison tilted her head toward the sky, listening closely to the small waves lapping the rocky shore.

“Would you like to talk about what just happened in there,” Martin inquired as he leaned against the railing.

“Yeah, your wife is a bitch,” Madison said confidently, without looking at him.

She heard Martin chuckle. Madison turned to face him, resting her left arm on the railing. “Sarah just knows how to get under my skin.”

Martin reached over, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Madison, you let her, so it’s partially your fault. Yes, Sarah can be hard to handle sometimes, but it’s like fireworks whenever you two are together. Again, I don’t know what happened in there, but can we at least get along long enough to make it through dinner?”

“Tell your barracuda wife to stay off my back for the rest of the night and everything will go smoothly.”

With a large smile, Martin patted Madison’s shoulder and headed for the door to go back into the house. “Are you coming, Madison?” he asked, reaching for the door handle.

“I’ll be right in. I need a little time by myself. Tell Mom and Dad I’ll be right there,” Madison said over her shoulder.

She heard the door click shut behind her and exhaled a deep breath. Sarah was right, she didn’t have children, but that didn’t give her the right to throw it in her face every chance she could. Sarah had the life she had dreamed about since being a child, a great husband, and beautiful son. She had a two-story dream home in the suburbs and their parents wrapped around her finger. Her parents were so proud of their first-born. Out of nowhere, Jerrica’s face flashed across her mind, causing a sharp pain in her chest. Madison clung to the railing tightly. She struggled to clear her mind. She had to stop torturing herself.

By the time Madison reappeared in the dining room, the meal was on the table. She sat in the seat left vacant for her. Robbie was on her right, her mother on her left and positioned across, on the other side, was Sarah. They were sitting across from one another, with their mother as referee.

Martin was the first one to break the silence. “Well now that everyone is here, let’s devour this delicious meal prepared by my wonderful mother-in-law.”
 

“Thank you, Martin. You are my favorite son-in-law,” Audrey said with a smile.

Sarah rolled her eyes as she passed Martin the bowl of cabbage.

Dinner moved along at a comfortable pace. Conversation at the Jeffery supper table was light and fluffy. Madison added to the banter when requested, but most of the time she kept to herself. When dinner was wrapping up and the table was being cleared, Madison stood behind her chair, as Sarah approached.

Standing directly in front of her sister, Sarah whispered into Madison’s ear.

“I promised Martin I would be good and not start any trouble, but I’ve been holding this inside for years now.” Glancing around Madison to make sure they weren’t being watched, she continued, “I want you to get back on your high horse and go back to the city. Everything was fine while you were gone. Therefore, you need to disappear and stay disappeared. Stay out of my life, my family’s life and stay away from Mom and Dad.”
 

Sarah looked into Madison’s face. The hurt in Madison’s eye must have made Sarah feel guilty for what she had said, but she would never apologize to her sister.

Their mother returned just in time to see Sarah walk away from Madison, leaving the room.

Madison tried to tuck her emotions deep inside as her mother put her hand on her shoulder.

“Are you girls playing nice?”
 

Madison spun around to look at her. Before she could speak, she glanced over her mother’s head to see Sarah standing in the doorway. Without breaking eye contact with Sarah she replied to her mother. “We are just fine, Mom.”

Sarah backed out of the doorway, disappearing into the kitchen.

Audrey knew something was wrong with her youngest daughter, but didn’t want to pry, so she patted her on the shoulder, bringing dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

Madison stood alone in the dining room with her troubling thoughts
.
Was she that bad of a person that even her sister didn’t want her visiting? First Jerrica stops coming to work to avoid her, and now her family didn’t want her here either. Madison felt so lost not knowing where she belonged anymore. For the second time today, Madison felt like she was going to vomit.

“Mom, I’m suddenly not feeling well. I’m going upstairs to lie down,” she called out, walking toward the stairway.

Madison was halfway up the staircase when her mother came to the bottom. “Baby, do you need anything? Are you going to be all right? I can come up there if you need me.”

“I’m going to be fine, Mom. I just need some more rest. That’s all,” Madison said as she reached the second floor.

Chapter Eleven

When Jerrica had awakened that morning, she had no real plans to leave the house. She would go for a run, shower, and finish up some work from the office. That was her original plan for a beautiful Saturday. Once her music player was on her arm, Jerrica was out the door into the cool air. She found she had more time with working at home to enjoy things she had long forgotten. Jerrica used to run every morning when she first moved to Newburyport. She loved the peaceful streets, taking in the exquisite architecture of the old homes that lined up in rows behind the brick laid sidewalks. It always amazed her at how extensive in size these historic dwellings were for single households. Many of these buildings were now modernized for multi-family apartments. Jerrica still thought this city was beautiful, that’s why she had moved here
.
Odd things one thinks about while running. With her favorite music in her ear and the rhythmic sound her shoes made, Jerrica was able to clear her mind.

Glancing down at her watch, she elected to shorten her run and head back home to get more work done. Seeing her townhouse in the distance, Jerrica slowed her pace for a cool down period. She figured by the time she reached the front door, her pulse should be close to normal. With her schedule mentally in place, she smiled at the orderliness. Once in the house, she headed for the shower to cool off.

“Hello? Hello,” she yelled into the annoyingly ringing phone.

“There is no need to yell, Jerrica, I can hear you just fine,” said the voice on the other end.

“Katherine! I’m sorry. I had to hunt down my cell phone. I think the kitten was playing with it. You’re lucky you caught me at all, I was just about to get in the shower,” Jerrica said as she sat on the edge of her bed.

“I’m going to be up in your area today and I thought maybe we could catch some lunch, if you’re up to visiting.”

“That would be wonderful, when and where?”

“How about eleven forty-five at our favorite restaurant?”

“Eleven forty-five sounds great, so I’ll see you there,” she said smiling as she disconnected the call.

“Well, I had better hustle a little if I’m going to make it on time,” she told herself.

Once in the shower, Jerrica realized her well-constructed plan was now out the window and she would have to re-evaluate the rest of the day once she returned home. Tossing on her favorite pair of jeans and a light yellow sweater, she walked toward the living room to grab shoes.

“Ah hell, let’s live a little,” she said, grabbing her high-heeled, calf-high motorcycle boots and sliding them on.

These boots gave her an additional inch in height and just having them on made her feel sexier somehow. The boot made her almost as tall as Katherine. She knew it was just lunch with a friend, but it had been so long since she felt sexy, she needed it, even if it was just through a pair of boots.
 

†

Jerrica pulled around the back of the restaurant to park, seeing that Katherine’s car was already there. The car was empty so she assumed Katherine was inside. Jerrica stood under the entrance sign for the Starboard Gallery Restaurant. Keys and cell in left hand, wallet with ID in back pocket, she had everything. When she first entered, she viewed the room for her friend. Not seeing her anywhere, she decided to walk through the dining area. After circling the tables a couple times, Jerrica recognized a voice calling her name. She spotted Katherine a few tables behind where she was standing, trying to get her attention. Jerrica acknowledged her friend, walking in her direction.

With a big smile and open arms, Katherine enfolded Jerrica in a huge embrace. Before Katherine let her go, she kissed her on the cheek. They both smiled at one another, then sat down to talk. The server took their orders for drinks and an appetizer, and then disappeared quickly. When the table had settled down to just the two of them, Katherine asked her. “So, my friend, how have you been?”

“I have been doing great. Job is good. House is fine,” Jerrica, said trying to sound upbeat.

Katherine tilted her head to the side, questioning the quick response with her eyes.

“How are your parents?” she asked. “Do you even know?”

“If you came all this way to give me a guilt trip, you can turn around and go home,” Jerrica commented harshly.

“I’m not here to give you a guilt trip. I happened to run into your mom the other day and she told me she hadn’t heard from you in a while. Then I started thinking that I hadn’t heard from you either. I started to worry,” Katherine said, as the server appeared with their food and drinks. She disappeared again just as quickly.

“Katherine, we’ve known one another for a long time now and you should know that if there was anything wrong, I would call you.”

The table went silent as Jerrica sipped on her drink and Katherine took some of the appetizer.

“I have my doubts you would,” Katherine answered finally.

Jerrica heard the disappointment in her voice. “When my marriage was breaking up, who did I tell first?”

“You told me. I know that. You’ve vanished from your family and your friends in New Hampshire. I know you better than you know yourself, Jerrica. You’re worrying me.” Katherine reached out to hold Jerrica’s folded hands.

Jerrica wanted to slide her hands away, but knew Katherine was right. She was hiding something. Jerrica closed her eyes, considering if she should tell Katherine the truth.

Katherine rubbed her thumb on the back of Jerrica’s hand. “Tell me….”

Jerrica began unfolding her tale, starting with Devin, the fact that she was working from home now and her confusion about Madison. She admitted to herself and to Katherine that she felt misplaced in her own life.

Katherine listened closely to her friend’s troubles. Being the understanding friend, she spoke calmly. “I won’t offer you advice. What I can offer you is my honest opinion, if you want to hear it.”

Jerrica wasn’t sure she was ready for one of Katherine’s honest opinion speeches. They had been friends since they were in grade school and even though they were the same age, Katherine always seemed mature beyond her years. After graduation, they had split ways. Katherine attended the University of California at Santa Cruz and then went off to Stanford University of Medicine to be a doctor. She was now working on her last year of residency at a top New Hampshire Hospital. Engaged for two years now, her fiancé wanted to hold off getting married until she finished her residency. Katherine had always known she wanted to help people, so she chose medicine for her career.

Jerrica smiled at the memory of them as children. In some small way, Jerrica envied her for designing a plan for her future and staying with something she loved doing.

“What are you thinking? You spaced out of the conversation,” Katherine asked as she saw a hint of a smile on Jerrica’s face.

“I was just remembering our childhood together,” Jerrica said with a doubtful smile. “Okay, doc, give it to me straight. I can take the pain.”

“All right…I have supported you in every decision you’ve made. I stood by you during your divorce. I was the one who helped you come out to your parents. We have been through many things together, Jerrica, but I honestly do not know how I can help you this time. I think this Devin person is just trying to jerk you around. And about your problems with work, I think it’s time to decide if this is going to be your career. You’re still young enough to switch careers without too much trouble,” she added, pausing to sip her drink. “Now…this thing with Madison. You told me that you weren’t sure how you feel for her. My friend, if you think you love this woman, you need to find out. I’m not saying jump in the sack again right away, but take your time to get to know one another. Sex fades, sweetheart, you need to find out if there is something else between the two of you.”

Jerrica knew she was right. Katherine was always right.

“You need to face your demons, Jerrica. You need to face Madison. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to move forward.”

“So,” Jerrica tried to change the subject. “How’s the job and hubby?”

Katherine frowned at her friend. “Nice way of changing the subject, Jerrica. Patrick and I are not married yet, remember? There are no immediate plans to change that situation. Oh, and the hospital experience…loving it!”

Jerrica’s smile grew bigger at her friends answer. “I know you’re not married yet, I just like to tease you about this long engagement.”

Katherine made a silly face at Jerrica’s comment, causing Jerrica to burst out laughing.
We’re quite a pair,
Jerrica thought.

Katherine glanced at her watch. “Sorry to say this, but I have to go soon. I have an appointment at two with a representative from Anna Jacques Hospital. That’s actually why I was going to be in your area today.”

“I thought you were still doing your residency?”

“I have less than a year to finish. I’m keeping my options open,” Katherine said as she fiddled for something in her purse.

“Does Patrick know that’s why you’re here today?”

“As a matter of fact, he doesn’t. He doesn’t control my career, Jerrica. He’ll respect my decision if I choose to move to a different hospital than where he practices. Lunch is on me.”

Jerrica watched as she waved down the server giving her eighty dollars without even looking at the bill, telling her to keep the change. Walking arm in arm back to the parking lot, the two women bantered back and forth about silly things, trying to end their visit on a positive note.

“Don’t forget to call your parents,” Katherine ordered as she pulled out of the parking lot.

Back at home, Jerrica set up her computer on the table with her files spread out in front of her. She had changed into her sleepy shorts and tank to be comfortable while working. She closed all the blinds so she could get some work done and not daydream. Stretching her arm, she grabbed the first folder. The rest of her exciting day was spent going through each new client’s information. She paused only twice. Once to feed the cats, the second for her needs. When the pile started to dwindle down to just a couple of folders, she glanced at her cell phone for the time. It was midnight. What had happened to her Saturday? She had totally lost track of time.

Saving her work, she closed the computer. Standing up stiffly, she reached for the ceiling, stretching her aching body. She switched lights off as she exited the downstairs, then Jerrica headed straight for bed. She seemed very tired all of a sudden. She flopped on the bed, quickly falling into a much needed slumber.