Finding Her Way (19 page)

Chapter Twelve

The loud pounding noise startled Jerrica from sleep. She sat motionless in the dark, wondering if she had heard something or just dreamt it. A few seconds went by in silence. Figuring it was just part of her dream, she started to lie back down. Inches before her head hit the pillow, the doorbell echoed through the house. Glancing at her nightstand, the clock read 2:45 a.m.

Who, the hell could that be? she wondered.

Tossing the covers off and grabbing her glasses, she exited the room with her baseball bat in hand, heading for the front door. Reaching the foyer, she clicked on the outside light and looked out the peephole. Gasping in surprise, she stepped back.

“Jerrica, could you please let me in?”

Jerrica stood frozen, not knowing what to do. She felt the blood drain from her body.

“Please, Jerrica, let me in. We need to talk.”

“How did you find out where I live?”

“I’ll explain everything to you if you just let me in. It’s kind of cold out here.”

Jerrica set the bat down, numbly reached for the deadbolt, and unlocked it. Unsure of what she was doing, she put her hand on the doorknob and pulled the door open.

Madison walked passed Jerrica, rubbing her biceps to diminish the cold.

Jerrica inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume. The foyer light was the only illumination in the downstairs, but Jerrica could still distinguish the worn shape hugging blue jeans that accentuated every curve and a very complimenting form-fitted long-sleeve blue shirt.

“Let me get some lights on in here,” Jerrica choked as she closed the door, rushing past Madison to click on the other lights.

With multiple fixtures lighting the rooms, Jerrica turned back to her visitor, “Please have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

Madison glanced around Jerrica’s home, amazed at the surroundings.

When she didn’t answer, Jerrica stepped closer, repeating softly. “Madison, please come in and have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

Madison managed a smile and a nod as Jerrica motioned her toward the front room. Jerrica entered the kitchen.

Madison was overwhelmed as Jerrica’s private world engulfed her. She traveled by the open concept kitchen, glancing at what looked like a family portrait wall. She wanted to stop to examine the beautiful faces, but wasn’t sure she had the right to enter her personal space that way.

Following the flow of lights, she entered what she thought could be the living room. The walls were a light neutral color, but in this light, Madison wasn’t sure the exact color. There was a row of floor-to-ceiling curtains along the length of the wall in front of her. Everywhere she looked, she saw expressions of Jerrica, from the mismatched throw pillows on the tan couch to the exquisite painting of the mountains that hung above the fireplace. There was a mahogany coffee table in front of the couch with two wood accented recliners set parallel to the couch. Most of the furniture seemed modern and fresh. This was Jerrica’s world and she could see how everything seemed to fit.

Where do I fit?
Madison wondered as she made her way to the couch, sitting just as Jerrica handed her a glass of liquid. Madison examined the contents as Jerrica sat across from her.

“It’s just water, ice with a slice of lemon. I didn’t know what else to serve.”

Jerrica watched Madison bring the glass to her lips. Those lips…what those lips can do to her.

Madison watched the blush develop on Jerrica’s face and smiled. Madison took in the full vision that was Jerrica Kerrison, above the rim of her glass. From her semi-tussled hair, to the arousing look of her in glasses, to the tank top and boxer short set, she filled out extremely well.

“So, Madison, why are you here at this hour?” she said, trying to get the conversation started.

Madison set her glass down in front of her. Her gaze met Jerrica’s as she spoke just above a whisper, “I needed to talk to you. I know it’s doesn’t really mean anything now that you’re with someone else and that there is no place for me in your life, but I need to know what happened to you…to us. You just disappeared after...that night.”

“Back up a little. What do you mean, someone else?”

Madison eyes couldn’t conceal her sadness as she continued. “I was in town earlier today and happened to see you entering a restaurant. I watched as you met with another woman. The way you looked at her, I could tell the two of you have chemistry.”

Madison tried holding back her sigh, but to her dismay, her aching heart pushed it out anyway.

Remembering the events of the day, Jerrica shook her head, clarifying. “Yes, she and I do have chemistry.”

Madison heart sank as she took in Jerrica’s words.

“Her name is Katherine. She is my oldest and dearest friend. But she is just my friend.”

Jerrica watched Madison’s spirits lift a little with this new revelation, but it was short lived.

She again pressed on the original subject Jerrica was avoiding. “Then, if it’s not someone else, then what? Talk to me, Jerrica. I can’t stand it anymore—not knowing what happened…”

Jerrica lowered her head to stare at the glass resting on her knee. “What do you want to talk about? So much happened that night,” she asked trying to buy herself some time.

Becoming extremely nervous, Madison slid to the edge of the couch. “What happened with you, Jerrica? Why did you let me take you home, take you to my bed, and then disappear without saying a word? Did you even consider how I would feel when I woke up the next morning alone?” Madison was fighting to keep her emotions in check.

Jerrica swished the ice cubes around, searching for a response that would satisfy Madison.
 

Madison wanted so much to jump up and hold her, to go back to that night when it was just the two of them. Watching Jerrica fight with her emotions was too much for Madison to bear. Standing, Madison turned to leave.

Seeing the sudden movement reflecting in her glass, Jerrica stood and grabbed Madison’s arm. “Please don’t go.”

The contact sent a shock of excitement flooding through their bodies. Staring at the hand on her arm, Madison stood motionless. With eyes focused on the warm hand touching her, Madison spoke gently. “You feel that, don’t you?”

Madison watched as the warm hand slid up her forearm onto her bicep before pulling away. The excitement that had begun when they touched lingered when contact was broken.

“Please stay,” Jerrica whispered.

Seated back on the couch, Madison watched Jerrica returned to her chair, placing her glass on the corner of the table. Jerrica’s chest nervously expanded with an intake of air then slowly, cautiously released it. “I was hoping that this conversation wouldn’t happen,” Jerrica commented honestly.

“What do you mean by hoping this wouldn’t happen?”

“Being confronted when I don’t have clear answers for you.” she said, looking at her hands in her lap. “I thought if I gave us some distance, you would forget about that night, forget about me. You’re a beautiful woman, Madison, and you can easily find someone else. I mean it was just sex, right.”

Is that what Jerrica thought it was, just sex? That can’t be true. Madison could feel the panic rising. Regaining enough composure, she left the couch, walking to stand in front of Jerrica. Kneeling to face her, she enfolded her hands around Jerrica’s trembling ones.

Jerrica absorbed the warmth and electricity from Madison’s touch, but couldn’t look directly at her.

“Tell me you don’t feel something every time we touch. Tell me your heart doesn’t skip a beat whenever you look at me. Tell me that our night together was only sex to you.” Madison let out a ragged breath, “If you can look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you feel nothing and that our night meant nothing, then I’ll go, putting us in the past, and—”

Emotion overtook Madison, her throat constricted and moisture clouded her vision.

†

The sudden drop in conversation prompted Jerrica to lift her head. She could see the pain just behind the settling tears, but as she looked beyond the raw pain, she saw a woman that was offering her more than just one night of sex. Jerrica reached out, brushing a stray tear from Madison’s cheek.

“Yes. I felt…something, she replied in a low tone. “ Yes, I get breathless every time we are in the same room. Yes, just yes....” She leaned in swiftly, pressing her lips to Madison’s.

The contact increased as Jerrica pushed her chair back kneeling on the floor, their bodies pressing together. With a small moan, Jerrica’s lips parted to receive Madison’s sensual tongue. She felt dizzy as Madison’s tongue played and taunted her senses. She held Madison’s face in the palms of her hands while Madison caressed the bare skin of her back under her tank.

“Stop,” Jerrica cried as she wrenched her face away. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this to you again.”

Jerrica hands moved down to Madison’s side trying to push her away. Madison’s hands slid up to Jerrica’s shoulders preventing her from fleeing the situation again. She turned her head away from Madison just as the flow of emotions cascaded down her face.

Madison felt her resistance ease, allowing her to draw Jerrica into an uncontested embrace.

Jerrica buried her face into Madison’s neck in hopes it would dull the sound of her own sobs.

Madison tilted her head until her cheek was lightly brushing Jerrica’s, softly whispering in her ear. “It’s all right. We’ll get through this.”

†

What are you afraid of Jerrica?
Madison wondered. She waited patiently letting time pass by, holding the woman who was softly weeping on her shoulder. She could hear Jerrica’s sobs transitioning into soft sniffles. The corners of Madison’s mouth lifted as she felt Jerrica’s arms strengthen around her waist pulling her in closer. “Jerrica, please talk to me.”

Madison felt Jerrica tilt her head, their eyes meeting immediately. Madison gazed at the gorgeous face with puffy cheeks, a cute little red nose and exhaustion written in her beautiful eyes. Madison verbalized what she felt they both needed at that moment, “Before we say something we may regret out of exhaustion, I think we should get some rest. I would like to stay. I’ll sleep down here on the couch, so there is no issue with sleeping arrangements.”

Madison reluctantly released the embrace, rocking backward onto her feet to stand up. Her knees protested with a dull ache as she straightened her legs out to stand. Trying not to wince in pain, she extended her hand to help Jerrica off the floor. With Jerrica on her feet, Madison slowly brushed her sore knees.

Jerrica chuckled to herself as she watched the display unfold. “Either I’m a really bad house keeper or someone had trouble getting up off the floor.”

“Are you accusing me of something?” Madison returned a sexy grin.
 

Giggling, Jerrica offered Madison her hand.

Madison’s eyes glimpsed at the invitation of the open hand and then back to Jerrica’s face.

“I can’t have you sleeping on my couch. I don’t even sleep on my couch, I’m too tall,” Jerrica said confidently.

With a wary smile, Madison entwined their fingers and allowed herself to be led up the stairs.

Releasing her hand as they reached the second floor landing Jerrica stepped close enough to whisper in her ear, “The room behind you is the guest room where you will be sleeping.”

When she stepped back, she could tell by Madison’s posture and expression, this was not what she had expected. “The room is cluttered, but the sheets and blankets are clean. The bathroom is right here,” she added, pointing to the door on her right. “And at the end of the hall is my bedroom.”

Madison did not attempt to argue, she just nodded.

When Jerrica realized Madison wasn’t going to protest, she walked toward her bedroom. Jerrica could feel a set of eyes on her as she entered the room. Turning she saw that indeed Madison was staring and did not attempt to avert her eyes when Jerrica caught her staring.

“Goodnight,” Jerrica said as she slowly pushed her door closed.

Her first instinct was to rush to the mirror and inspect her reflection, but she resisted the urge. Right now, she was too tired to consider what she looked like at that moment. Leaning back on the closed door, she brushed her fingertips on her lips. She could still feel Madison’s soft lips. The heat from deep inside returned. For a brief second, Jerrica considered asking Madison to join her, but pushed it away. As much as her body wanted Madison’s touch, her mind had decided this was the right thing to do at this moment. She flopped on her bed, willing her mind to clear. Closing her eyes, she prayed for sleep.

†

Madison sat on the edge of the bed in the guest bedroom, wondering how she had ended up here. Looking around, she realized that Jerrica must not have many quests. The room contained boxes along the wall in front of her. There was a small office desk underneath the window, covered by more boxes. Leaning on the footboard was a mountain bike, not your typical décor for a guestroom.

She had watched Jerrica enter her bedroom and wasn’t bashful when Jerrica caught her staring. Madison had hoped Jerrica would change her mind, but knew at goodnight that she would be sleeping alone. Having forgotten her overnight bag at her parents’ house, she decided to sleep in her shirt and panties. Maybe she could ask Jerrica to borrow something to wear so she could get home tomorrow. Or was that today, now? Lying back on the full sized bed, she pulled a blanket up to her waist and clicked the light off. Staring at the ceiling, she replayed the events of the evening in her head. “What am I doing?” she mumbled aloud, closing her eyes.