Finding Jaime (19 page)

I see Sadie wave, and I return the gesture as I watch her get out of Mitch’s car then kiss him goodbye. She’s so happy that I can’t help but smile at the way she’s beaming at him. One last kiss and Mitch drives away.

“Hey, you,” Sadie says and hugs me.

“Hey yourself,” I reply and grin at her.

Sadie’s eyes widen, and they dart around, her cheeks flushing. “What?”

“Nothing,” I laugh. “I’m just glad to see you happy. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Sadie blows out a breath, and her shoulders relax. “Yeah, I’m crazy about him, Jai.” We walk into Dino’s Pizza House and take our regular seats. “I can’t believe we didn’t get together sooner. I mean, he’s my brother’s friend!”

I nod my agreement, but I know dating a sibling’s friend can prove disastrous, especially for the sibling in question.

“So, what does Tom say about it?” I ask, and she shrugs.

“He’s okay, actually. I thought he might give me grief over it, but he’s been so supportive. I guess I got lucky there, too.”

I nod again. “Yeah, Tom’s a good guy.”
Apart from trying to pick up Joss, but that’s another thing altogether.

I don’t like how thinking about that incident grates on me still, even after all this time. I think about our upcoming ‘date’ and butterflies begin to swarm in my stomach. Butterfly. Great, now my conscience is waking up.

“Is everything okay with you?” Sadie asks, and my eyes snap to hers.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking about something. What were you saying?”

“I just said that Cade and Mark are happy, too.”

I notice a glint in her eye and a twitch of her lips. “Go ahead,” I say. I know already, but I want her to say it.

“What?” The fake look of innocence makes me laugh. “I wasn’t—”

“Come on,” I say, cutting her off. “You only look like that when you’re dying to ask me something personal, so go right ahead.”

Sadie blows out a breath, and her cheeks darken. “Okay, you got me. I just wanted to ask if you were doing anything when you get back from your parents’ house?”

I tilt my head to the side, considering her question. I’ve already told her about Joss, so what is she getting at? “You know what I’m doing, Sade. I’m heading to the beach with Joss on Sunday while you and Mitch are at home.”

Her fingers tap on the table top. “Are you seeing someone?”

I don’t look away from her, and I know she’s sensed something different these past few days. “Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been happier, lately.” She holds her palms up. “I’m glad that you are, don’t get me wrong, but you haven’t mentioned anything, and you usually do.”

I don’t try to hold back my grin. “I’m single, Sade. I like somebody, yes, but that’s as far as it goes.”

Her eyes light up, and she practically bounces in her seat. “You like someone? Oh my God, Jai, this is big!” She covers her mouth and looks around to see if anybody is gawking at her outburst. “Sorry, but you don’t like
anybody
, so this is massive. Does he have a name?”

“She.” My stomach plummets at my unexpected reaction, and I drop my head down.
 

“What?”

I keep my gaze fixed on the table top. The gray speckles decorating the dark blue, square top hold my attention while my stomach turns over. I take a deep breath, knowing I’m about to admit my deepest secret to my best friend. “
She
has a name.”

Slowly, I lift my gaze to Sadie’s and I see her eyes narrowed on me, yet she doesn’t seem angry.

Her mouth forms an ‘o’ “Okay…” She drags out the word, “so you’re saying you like a girl?”

I nod and answer anyway. “Yeah.”

Her face is frozen in shock. I wait a couple more seconds when her mouth stretches into an enormous fucking grin.

“Fuck, who is she?” she laughs, then lowers her voice again. “Sorry. Who is she?”

The small smile slips from my face. “I don’t know.”

Sadie’s confusion makes me feel sick to my stomach as I realize the extent of my situation. I have no idea what to tell her because I have no idea who Butterfly is, and I can’t exactly say that’s her name. Not that Sadie would know her, but I can’t take that chance, especially when I’ve only just gotten used to the idea myself.

“I don’t understand.”

Our usual order is brought to the table, and Sadie grabs her slice while she waits for me to talk.

“I don’t know her name.” I shake my head before she can interrupt me. “She’s beautiful, Sade, and I like talking to her, but I don’t know her name.”
More than talk, dirty girl. You like being almost naked with her, making the both of you wet, kissing her full mouth, and having your hands full of her soft body.
I lick my dry lips at the pictures my horny mind is throwing at me.

Sadie wipes her mouth with a napkin. “Well, what does she look like? What color hair does she have? Does she sound local?”

I snort a laugh. “Sade, I’ve just told you I like a girl, and you’re acting like—”

“Like what?” She sips some of her soda. “Like my best friend has a crush, and I want to know the details? Fuck, yeah!”

I snort again. “A crush? Oh my God, Sade, it’s not high school.”

Sadie waves her hand in dismissal. “Whatever, I need details.” She leans closer to me, ready to hear whatever comes out of my mouth next.

“Okay…” Now I drag out the word, surprised that Sadie isn’t as shocked as I imagined she’d be. “Um…she has long, dark hair, about as tall as me, and long legs that go on for fucking miles. She’s tan, as though she’s recently been in the sun. Her lips are perfectly proportionate to each other, too.” It’s Butterfly’s warm, soft body I’m familiar with, but I find myself thinking of Joss.

“Wow…” Her voice trails off, and her eyes lower before snapping up to me. “She sounds gorgeous.” My stomach takes another nose-dive. “This is insane. I would never have guessed you liked girls.” She bites hungrily into her pizza again, but I’ve lost my appetite.
 

“You’re okay with this?” I ask, wondering why the hell she isn’t asking me anything else. That’s usually her way.

“Of course”—she shrugs her shoulder—“why wouldn’t I be?” She wipes her mouth again and places the napkin on the table. “I don’t think you’re attracted to me, Jai, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

That takes me by surprise. “Actually, that thought never crossed my mind,” I say, truthfully.

“Well, good, because I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

I laugh loudly, and everybody turns to stare. “This is fucking surreal. I’ve just confided my innermost secret, and you think I’d be the uncomfortable one?”

Sadie giggles. “As I’ve said before, you’re my best friend, and I love you. Now, I just hope you love me enough to introduce me to the girl that has put that shit-eating-grin on your face this past couple of weeks because I want to thank her for making you happy.”

I’m going to my parent’s house later, and I want to meet my friends before I leave. I need some moral support before I put myself in the firing line of my mother’s overbearing personality. I park right outside the coffee shop, and I see Kyle serving some customers, and Ann making the orders. I twist to look around to see if I can spot Sadie or Cade, but I don’t see them.

After my ‘coming out’ to Sadie, she promised she would keep my secret, and felt ‘extra special’ that she knew first before anybody. That woman is so fucking sweet she needs to have a candy bar named after her. We didn’t talk about it afterward. She figured if I wanted her to know anything else, then it was my decision to share, and she wouldn’t press me for any more details.

Yeah, let’s see how long that lasts before she caves.

I get out of the car and lock the door. The bell sounds as I walk in, alerting the staff to a new customer, and I head over to the counter. I place my order and pay Kyle before turning to scan the room for Joss. My insides do a little flip when I see her chatting to two women at the table we usually sit at.

I watch as she smiles at them, and it’s clear that she knows them well. She places her hand on the older woman’s shoulder and smiles warmly at her. She seems familiar. Her dark, wavy hair hangs by her jaw, but it’s not that that I’m drawn to. Her eyes are fixed on Joss; her loving gaze seems almost maternal, but the blue in her eyes isn’t what I recognize.

I notice her smile and my heart begins to pound in my chest. I would know that smile anywhere. The way her lips turn up in the corners and the red of her lipstick accentuates what I’ve seen many times before.
 

My feet take me into that direction, and the three women face me. I hear my pulse whooshing in my ears, and my eyes dart to the woman next to her. The long, blonde bob is meticulously groomed, and my eyes scan to her neck. I see the truth staring at me, which is confirmed further when her pinkie finger lifts as she tilts the glass to her lips.

I try to catch my breath, but it’s stuck in my throat. A warm hand grips my forearm, and I snap to the person it belongs to. The nauseating swirl grows when I look into the terrified blue eyes that are pleading with me.

“Jaime, I can explain,” she mutters and swallows hard.

“You?” My voice is barely a whisper. “You’re her?”

Joss looks around to the women who smile at me, but the concern is written all over their faces. “I wanted to tell you, but not like this.”

I pull my arms out of her grasp and step away from her. “I…I can’t…”

“Jaime, please,” she whispers. “Can we talk?”

I take another step back, my anger bubbling under the surface and threatening to burst out in full view of everybody. They wouldn’t be safe from what my mouth could do in a moment of pure rage.

“Stay away from me,” I spit. “How could you, Joss? I told you everything and all this time…?” Bile rises to my throat, and I swallow it back. Joss reaches for me again, but I slap her hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” I snarl. “I don’t want to see your fucking face again.”

With my heart ripping apart and my stomach contracting, I rush out of the shop and get into my car. I’m already packed to go, so without calling Sadie to say goodbye, I pull out into the traffic and begin the long journey to my parent’s house.

I pull into the driveway of the five-bedroom house located in the middle of the quiet part of the small town. I look up to the window at the top—my old room—and sigh. Joss’ pleading eyes have haunted me all the way here, and I’ve been trying to get rid of them. I can’t believe what she’s done, and to think I felt awful for thinking about her when I was with ‘Butterfly.'
 

I blow an irritated breath out through my nostrils in exasperation. Everything I told her, did with her, was in confidence, and I truly thought it was helping me to understand that Joss wasn’t somebody within my reach. How wrong I was. The whole fucking time it was her running her hands over me, kissing me, making me see the fucking stars for the first time in my life, and all for what? To laugh at me behind my back at the fact she’s gotten me sucked into her sordid little game, and then look me in the eye the next day, knowing exactly who I was. For a minute I believed that maybe she didn’t know it was me, but the image of her guilt-ridden face flashed over and over in my head, and it was crystal clear that she knew the whole damn time it was me.

I screw my eyes shut and grind my teeth. My fists clench at my sides as I attempt to put it to the back of my mind in order for me to face my family.
 

Could this weekend get any worse?

I use my old key and walk into the house. I can hear my mother’s grating voice whining at my dad for something he was supposed to do but still hasn’t.

“Jaime!” she yells from the room at the end of the sunshine-yellow hallway.

I look towards the open archway and see a shadow that tells me somebody is approaching. I wheel my case to my side and lower the handle.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I reply, and I’m surprised at how weak my voice sounds.

“There you are,” my mom gushes. She spreads her arms wide, and she walks towards me with a bright smile. “Let me look at you.”

Just when I think she’s going to pull me into a hug, she places her hands on my upper arms and holds me out in front as though checking me over.

“Lois, leave her be,” my dad says from the doorway. “Hi, Jai. Come here, sweet-pea.” He barrels towards me and yanks me from my mother’s grip and engulfs me in a bear-hug.

“Hi, Dad,” I laugh as my toes scrape the floor. “How are you?” He releases me, and I look at his weary face. His ever-increasingly white hair is brushed back, and the receding line is even thinner than when I saw him last.

“How was your drive up here?” He takes my hand and leads me into the kitchen. “I’ll pour you some coffee.”

This would be where my mom should want the details, I guess, but the only thing I can see she wants to ask about is my personal life.

“Thanks, Dad. It was a long-ass drive—”

“Jaime!” my mom cuts in, scolding me. “Language.”

“Sorry.” I resist the urge to roll my eyes as I apologize. “The drive took a lot longer than expected, and I’m tired.”

“Joseph will be here first thing in the morning,” my mom chimes in with a huge smile. “His girlfriend will be joining us for the evening. Won’t that be fun?”