Finding Justus (7 page)

“Sounds good to me, I hate to even think about leaving. I wish I could live on a cruise ship for the rest of my life. That would certainly be the life, wouldn’t it, Jus?” Krystal paused and looked at Justus, who looked distracted. “Well, have you had enough stars and fresh air? I’m ready to watch some more TV and head to bed.”

“You can go ahead Krys. I’ll be in there in a little while.”

“All right.”

Justus waited until Krystal had gotten settled onto the bed and was engrossed in the TV before she started thinking heavily. She knew how she got when she started thinking about Alex or other parts of her past. She tuned everyone and everything else out.

As Justus stared out at the black sea, she started thinking about a trip she and Alex had taken the previous fall. Justus had gone to Chicago to meet his mom for Thanksgiving, and she and Alex had a wonderful time during their short stay. Now as Justus reminisced to herself, she realized that she had romanticized their visit to the Windy City from the very start.

Al
ex proposed right after they returned to St. Louis. The whole time Justus had been in Chicago, she had felt like part of a family again. That sense of belonging was something she hadn’t felt in a long time, and during one point in her life, it was something she worried she may never have again. She now realized she must have clung to those feelings of fitting in once the two of them returned home from their trip.

Justus started thinking about the way Alex proposed. It had been too perfect. “The Arch,” Justus scoffed under her breath, as though the entire city of St. Louis were to blame for her unhappiness.

Alex had taken Justus up inside the Arch one evening, just as the sun was setting. Once they were at the top, overlooking the city, he had proposed. From that point on, their relationship had seemed perfect, like a fairy tale. Everyone who knew them had bought into it. Justus stared off into space, as her mind was transported back to the cold December night when Alex had proposed.

“Honey, I’m freezing. Where are we going, again?”

“You’ll see soon enough,” Alex replied mysteriously.

Justus knew something was going on inside of his head. It wasn’t like him to be so secretive. She shivered as she tried to hurry along beside Alex. She cursed her choice of footwear that evening, high-heeled leather boots. The sun hadn’t even gone down yet and the brisk wind was stinging her cheeks as they raced through the streets of downtown St. Louis. She shivered a little and hugged the soft brown leather coat closer around her body.

As Alex pulled her hand and forced her to pick up her pace she realized they were heading for the Arch. At the break-neck pace they were heading toward the landmark, Justus thought she would be lucky not to break an ankle. She kept herself going with the knowledge that she would be out of the frigid weather soon.

As the two stepped inside the Arch, Alex led her to the tram that took visitors to the top of the structure. As the small vehicle fought its way upward, Alex looked over at her and stroked the top of her fingers with his own. He smiled at her.

“I love you,” he said as he kissed her hand.

Justus fought back tears. Alex was usually reserved with his emotion
s, and she had never seen him so tender and romantic. “I love you, too,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

The tram stopped at the top of the Arch and the two of them made their way to the observation deck. Justus had been inside the structure many times, but she never failed to marvel at the amazing view of the city. The sun was just beginning to set and as she looked down at the glittering metropolis she noticed Alex moving to the floor out of the corner of her left eye. She turned to look at him and her hand flew over her mouth when she
noticed him down on one knee.

No longer able to hold back the emotions, she felt hot tears slide down her cheeks.

“Justus, will you marry me?” Alex asked as he pulled a black velvet box from his coat pocket. He flipped the lid open and in the fading light, a beautiful emerald-cut diamond seemed to wink at her from inside the case.

“Yes!” Justus said as she threw her arms around his neck. She covered Alex’s face with kisses and whispered ‘I love you’ over and over
again.

Now as Justus stared out at the Caribbean night sky, she was amazed her eyes were dry. She felt a little sorrow for what could have been with Alex, but deep in her heart she knew what had happened between them was for the best. Even though the knowledge that Alex had been cheating on her was a blow to her ego, she wouldn’t change her situation even if she could. Alex hadn’t been the right man for her, she knew that now. Her only real regret was that she wished she would’ve realized it sooner and ended the relationship before she’d found Alex with another woman.

Knowing she was over Alex once and for all made it easier for her to pursue this thing with Miguel. He did seem genuinely interested in her, and there was no denying her attraction to him. She needn’t fight it any longer. With a contented sigh, and feeling better about her situation, she went inside the cabin to watch TV with Krystal.

“Did the night air help clear up your head?”

Justus was amazed at how well her best friend knew her.

“How did you know it needed clearing?”

“Because you had that troubled look on your face you get when you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

Justus chuckled and said, “You know me so well. But, yes my head is cleared.”

“Good.”

“I’ve decided I’m going to pursue this thing with Miguel, this fling or whatever. I’m enjoying myself. Do you think it’s too soon?”

“No, I’m the one who’s been encouraging this, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. But saying something and actually doing it are two different things.”

Krystal laughed and said, “Yeah, I never thought about it that way. I’m happy for you, Jus. Oh, hey I forgot to tell you when you came in earlier, but guess what?”

“I have no idea. What?”

“I ran into Michelle, this woman I keep seeing at the gym and around the pool. Anyway, she wanted to know if we wanted to go snorkeling tomorrow after lunch sometime. I told her I did, but I didn’t know about you.

“Oh, and have I mentioned that she’s here for a family reunion, and her gorgeous brother is going with us, too. He’s a lawyer. I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“Sounds fun and maybe a little dangerous too, I hope I don’t get eaten by a shark or something. Oh, but what about dance class tomorrow? I would really like to go,” Krystal gave her a knowing look and Justus pretended not to notice.

“We could still snorkel if we went to the early dance class.”

“Okay, I’m up for more lessons in salsa and meringue.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s not the only kind of lessons you’re interested in,” Krystal said.

Justus hurled a pillow at her. “Ugh! You’ve got such a one-track mind. Go to sleep. We’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Krystal tossed the pillow back at Justus, and turned off the lamp. “Okay, I’ll go to sleep. But you know you want more than dancing from Miguel.”

Justus said nothing and sighed in response.

CHAPTER FOUR

“I’m stuffed and ready to work off all of this food, Jus.” They had just eaten a large breakfast of waffles, sausages, bacon, eggs and biscuits and were preparing themselves for their dance lesson.

“We’ve still got forty-five minutes to kill; maybe we shouldn’t have gotten dressed in our dance clothes, because now we have nothing to do,” Justus said.

“Not true! We could go out on one of the decks and work on our tans.”

“Okay, that’s something we haven’t really gotten to do a lot of yet. I plan on going home with a good tan, too.”

“Well, come on, because you know I need all the help I can get, all I usually do is freckle.”

The two of them headed toward the pool.

“Okay,” Justus said looking at her watch, “We have about twenty minutes for each side.” Justus grabbed her rubber band out of her shorts pocket and pulled her hair up quickly.

“I’m working on my back first, Krys.”

“It doesn’t matter what side I start out with, I always get the same result. Freckles. Don’t let me fall asleep again, talk to me about something.”

Justus got the feeling she was hinting around that she wanted her to talk about Miguel. She really wanted to steer clear of the subject, since she knew once they saw him at dance class he would be Krystal’s sole topic for the rest of the day.

“Okay, let’s talk about you and Michelle’s brother. Did she happen to mention if he’s single?”

“No, she’s never mentioned that. I can hope, I guess.”

“Well, how do you know he’s a lawyer, have you even talked to him?”

“Yeah, he’s been in the gym a couple of times with Michelle. And let me tell you, he’s got arms to die for.”

“What’s his name?”

“Anthony.”

“And how old is he?”

“I’m not sure. 

I don’t think he’s much older than us. You sure are inquisitive. And you say I ask a lot of questions,” she muttered.

“Now you know how I feel when
you get on a Miguel kick. See? Annoying isn’t it?”

Krystal only gave her a look of contempt in response.

“We’ve got about five minutes left,” Justus said as she sat down her watch.

“Hey, look!”

Justus raised her head in the direction that Krystal was pointing, and saw what she was making a fuss about. The ship was nearing an island, and the view was awe-inspiring. The water that led up to the island was a mix of blues and greens. It appeared to be emerald in one spot, turquoise in another location, and a deep navy blue in some places. She was mesmerized by the way the sun danced upon the water.

Justus snapped out of her reverie when the booming captain’s voice came over the speakers on the lid
o deck, and announced how long it would be before they were on the island. She looked at her watch once again. There was still time for their dance lesson.

”Are you ready to dance, or should I say sal
sa?” Justus started putting on her clothes. Krystal got up as well, and started doing the same. The deck was beginning to get crowded, as people rushed to see the island and beautiful water. Justus hoped there wouldn’t be as many people in this morning’s dance class as there had been at their previous class.

When they walked through the doors of the lounge where their class was being held, Justus frowned at the appearance of Tammy. Justus gave her the once-over, and tried to be objective, rather than catty. Dressed in all white, Tammy looked anything but innocent.

She had another one of her tiny top and micro short combinations on, and her long blonde hair was pulled into two braided pig-tails. Justus thought if Tammy was trying to look like a teenage girl, she was failing miserably. Also, Justus noticed there were no men in the class today. She figured when the men had seen the instructor was a good-looking man, they had decided this class wasn’t for them.

Good-looking was an enormous understatement. Justus caught her breath when she caught sight of him as he walked toward the center of the room. Miguel had on the same style of black pants he had worn to class before. Except today he had paired them with an emerald green shirt she was sure would only enhance the beauty of his green eyes.

Upon closer inspection, she noticed the shirt did wonders for his dark complexion as well. There was no denying, this man was gorgeous. An Adonis. He appeared to be completely perfect, in the physical sense anyway.

Justus wasn’t afraid to admit this to herself anymore. She had learned a long time ago she could get nowhere in life if she was afraid, especially if she were afraid of
herself and her feelings. Fear was something Justus despised in herself, but it was something she had started giving in to while she had been with Alex.

“It doesn’t look like we’re going to have a full class this morning, so maybe I will be able to give each of you some one-on-one time,” Miguel said.

Krystal bobbed her eyebrows up and down at Justus and gave her a knowing smile. Justus felt a thrill of excitement followed by something that resembled jealousy. The thought of Tammy and her silicone mountains in Miguel’s face was enough to make Justus feel insecure and angry all at once.

“L
et’s warm up a little bit. Wake up our tired bodies, huh?”

Justus noticed Tammy was doing the stretching exercises that Miguel was showing the class, but she was doing them all the same way; with her chest pushed as far out as humanly possible. Justus felt her blood begin to boil. It wasn’t that she was jealous of Tammy, she reasoned, it was that she hated women like Tammy. The type who thought they had to rely solely on their appearance to get a man’s attention.

“We’ll start with the meringue, today. Has anyone done the meringue before?”

Half of the class raised their hands.

“Okay, for those of you who don’t know, the meringue is a very basic dance, you move your hips from side to side and take small steps with your feet. Hold your arms like this, like you have an invisible partner,” he said as he held his left arm in the air, next to his head and his right in front of his waist.