Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (10 page)

“History is
gut
, Alvin.” His
daett
opened the oven door and touched the food with his finger. “Ouch! Ready to go, I think. Go bring
Mamm
.”

Alvin had no plans to renew a romantic relationship with Mildred. That was certain, and his
daett
knew that. There was no sense in arguing about it.

Alvin helped
Mamm
to the table. She had just sat down when headlights came down the driveway of the old farmhouse. Alvin was ready to go outside to see who it was when the car moved right up to the sidewalk of the
dawdy haus
. That made sense, Alvin thought, sitting down again. Some
Englisha
neighbor who knew his
daett
was calling. The person had seen that the farmhouse was dark but there were lights on further back.
Daett
could meet them and see what they wanted.

Daett
glanced at Alvin. “You can pray with your
mamm.
I’ll go see who it is.”

Alvin nodded. He reached over to hold his
mamm
’s hand. They bowed their heads and gave silent thanks.

Mamm
reached for her spoon when she was finished praying.

Alvin was thankful
Mamm
could still feed herself. He dreaded the day when the indignity of not doing so would be heaped on her. But perhaps
Da Hah
would have mercy and spare
Mamm
that humiliation. He sincerely hoped so.

Daett
’s voice from the front door filled the house. “
Gut
evening. May I help you?

And then the voice that sent shivers up his spine seemed to reverberate throughout the house. “Is this where Alvin Knepp lives?”

Alvin was already on his feet when his
daett
asked, “What business do you have with Alvin?”

“Well… ”

Alvin rushed to the door and wondered how to handle this situation. He should have known she’d make contact. She hadn’t come just for the church service that morning. He’d hoped his rapid departure after the meeting would have sent the message that he had no interest in seeing her. Apparently the message wasn’t received. And now his
daett
was involved.

“Excuse me,” Alvin said as he pushed past his
daett
. “I’ll speak with Crystal outside.”

“What is this?” His
daett
sounded suspicious.

Alvin ignored him and plunged on toward Crystal’s car. He figured Crystal would follow him, and they’d be out of earshot for whatever this conversation might entail.

“Alvin, please stop! Have I done the wrong thing in coming here?”

Alvin stopped and faced Crystal. He held his anger and tried to even his breathing. “We’re not in Philadelphia, Crystal. I’m home, and you know what home is to me. Why have you come?”

“Alvin… ” She reached out and touched his arm. “Please, Alvin. Let me explain.”

He drew back. “Explain what? There’s nothing to explain. It’s over between us. I have no more feelings for you.”

Her voice was soft. “I know that, Alvin. And that’s why I’ve come tonight. I respect you. I wanted you to know that I’m not here for that.”

“Then why are you here?” His voice sounded unnecessarily harsh, but he couldn’t help it.

“I wanted to see where you came from, I guess. What kind of world produced a good man like you.” Crystal’s expression was intense.

“Crystal, please. Your being here isn’t going to work. There are too many questions that will come up. You can’t just come here without expecting to cause problems. People will talk.”

She held out her hands. “But I haven’t done anything, Alvin. I went to church with your deacon and his wife this morning. I did that after asking around in Beaver Springs and being directed to the deacon’s residence. I told them I had family in the area and wished to visit an Amish church. And the Amish people couldn’t have been nicer! I was shocked that after the service you raced outside and left without speaking to me. That’s when I decided I’d better look you up to make sure you understood I wasn’t here just to see you.”

“Deacon Mast told you where I live?” Alvin choked out.

Crystal paused for a moment. “Yes. Was that bad? I was visiting family and was curious about your community. That’s all.”

There were a dozen things wrong with this situation, Alvin thought. Among those was what Debbie would think. And what the ministry would do when they discussed Crystal. On top of that, he had to deal with his
daett
on the subject now. “Your presence complicates everything, Crystal.”

“I see.” She seemed deeply hurt. “I meant no harm, Alvin. But you know how life is out there. Do you blame me for coming here? I’m looking for something better. Is that wrong?”

Alvin took Crystal’s hand. “I don’t blame you, and I’m sorry for my outburst. But it’s better if you leave and go back to where you came from.”

Pain showed on her face. “Did you have to change this much, Alvin?”

“You can’t stay, Crystal. It’s that simple.” He forced out the words.

“I’m making it uncomfortable for you. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” She began to tear up.

Alvin was at a loss.

Crystal continued. “So you won’t help me? No one here will help me?”

Alvin glanced up at the sky for a moment. He reached out and took her hand. “Come, Crystal. I want you to meet my parents. I will leave this situation in
Da Hah
’s hands.”

Nine

A
lvin awoke in the morning darkness to the jangle of the alarm clock. He gave the clock on the dresser a whack. That didn’t stop its racket, so he groped until his thumb found the shut-off button. He felt on the floor for his clothing and noted his head was throbbing. He had a splitting headache, which explained why he’d slept until the alarm went off. Normally he was up a few minutes before… if not sooner.

Alvin stood and shook his head as the memory of last night flashed into his mind. Crystal Meyers had paid him a visit, and he had introduced her to his parents. Those brief moments had been awkward but necessary. The gesture had seemed the least he could do. They’d walked in and Alvin noticed the astonished look on his
daett
’s face. Alvin had taken Crystal up to the rocker where his
mamm
sat.

“
Mamm
, this is Crystal. Crystal, this is my
mamm
, Helen. She had a stroke earlier in the year and is still struggling with the effects.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Knepp,” Crystal said, reaching down to shake Helen’s hand.

“
Gut
evening.”

Mamm
appeared to not comprehend what was going on, but this whole situation was incomprehensible, Alvin thought.

When they turned to
Daett
, his face looked like a thundercloud. Apparently he’d put two and two together. Alvin tried to keep the tremble out of his voice. “
Daett,
this is Crystal. Crystal, this is my
daett
, Edwin.”

“It’s good to meet you,” Crystal said, offering her hand.

Daett
shook it after a brief hesitation.

Then Alvin said, “We really have to be going.” He took Crystal’s hand and headed for the door. He urged her on when she turned to smile and say goodnight over her shoulder.

Once he escorted Crystal to her car and opened her door, he said, “Crystal, you can’t come back here. Please understand.”

“I’m not sure I do,” she replied. “I mean no harm. I’m interested in the kind of lifestyle that produces quality men like you.” She hesitated. “I might even want to become… Amish.”

Alvin almost laughed, but he thought better of it. He kept his voice firm. “Crystal, you would not be happy here. Believe me. And as for you and me, our former relationship out there in your world can’t be continued in my world. I’m dating someone else now, Crystal, and… ” Alvin paused.

Crystal hesitated. “I guess she did wait for you then. I understand.” Crystal gave his arm a quick squeeze and then started the car, shut the door, and drove out of the driveway.

Alvin fled to the farmhouse without a glance at the
dawdy haus
.

And now he was barely up and out of bed. There was pounding on the front door. He didn’t normally lock the doors, but he had last night. An instinct from his childhood, no doubt, after all the times he’d been dragged out of bed and his bottom strapped for transgressions his
daett
had found out about. There would be no punishment this morning, but there would be words said he’d rather not hear.

Alvin lit the kerosene lamp. The noise at the front door was
louder now, but it stopped when he stepped into the living room. Alvin set the lamp on the desk and unlocked the door. It flew open as he stepped back and awaited the inevitable.

“Alvin Knepp,” the first words out of his
daett
’s mouth were clipped, “I will have an explanation for this. Who was that
Englisha
girl you brought into my house last night?”

Alvin sank down on the couch. “I used to date Crystal when I was living in Philadelphia.” Alvin waved his hand in the general direction of the living room window. “I’ve told the ministry about her. I held nothing back in my confession. I even told them about going to a bar and grill with Crystal. That’s when I ‘woke up,’ you could say, and came home. Most people thought it was because of Melvin’s passing, but I’d already made up my mind to return home.”

“You’ve
been
with this woman then?” Horror dripped from his
daett
’s voice.

Alvin sighed. “
Nee
,
Daett
. Crystal is more honorable than that. I don’t know about myself in that regard, but we did nothing like that.”

“But you….you… ”
Daett
searched for the right words. “Your hands were freely on her, and hers on you.”

Alvin groaned. “That’s the
Englisha
way,
Daett.
Perhaps I learned it out there. They touch the arm… the hand… to show casual affection… to show concern.”

“Someone who is not your family?”
Daett
took a step back.

“
Yah
, it is so.” Alvin rubbed his head again. “Is this lecture over now? I have a headache and choring to do.”

Daett
regarded him for a moment. “All I can say, Alvin, is that I’m deeply disappointed in you. If you say you’ve told the ministry everything, and they are okay with your confession, then what can I say on the matter? But as your
daett
, I say you’re a failure. Oh
yah
, you may know how to run a farm and make it profitable. That’s something I didn’t do, and the committee let you take over… all because I don’t change my ways. Well, my ways worked for my
daett
,
and they should have worked for me. They would have if I’d been given enough time to try them.”

Alvin sat up. “
Daett
, this is not about farming.”

His
daett
snorted. “Maybe not farming exactly.” He waved his arms about. “I’m talking about raising a family in
Da Hah
’s ways. That’s something you don’t know anything about, Alvin. You got your heart fixed on an
Englisha
girl. You can’t handle women, Alvin. Not even Debbie, whom I guess the ministry has now baptized. But my heart is not settled on the matter. Debbie was the reason you ran out into the world. Why, I don’t know, but you did. And now you bring another
Englisha
girl into the community? What is wrong with you, Alvin? You are nothing but a flop when it comes to the things that really matter. And all the time, you’ve had a good Amish girl waiting for you. Mildred would take you back with open arms, Alvin. If only you had the sense to see it.”

You were the real reason I left the community and got myself excommunicated
, Alvin almost said. Instead he bit back the words. It wouldn’t help. His
daett
’s words weren’t totally correct, but some were close enough that they cut deep. He, Alvin Knepp,
was
unskilled in the things of the heart. He knew how to run a plow and a disk. He knew how to cut hay. But that was child’s play compared to what really mattered. In that,
Daett
was right.