Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (4 page)

“I’d come,” Ida said with sympathy, “but it can’t be, Lois. We can’t show any approval of this choice of yours. Surely you know that.”

Lois gulped. “I guess so. It’s just sad and painful, that’s all.”

“You should have thought of that before you left.” Saloma’s voice had a bite to it.

Lois braced herself before she took another quick sip of hot chocolate. “But I love my new life. And Doug is such a catch. And I’m in my first year of college in Shamokin. We’re setting up housekeeping after the wedding in a small rental in Selinsgrove. What more could I ask for?”

There was silence in the living room. Not because they didn’t know the answer to Lois’s question, but because Lois wouldn’t listen even if they spoke the truth. Lois had chosen her life, which was a jump over the fence to the Amish. And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Saloma moved first. She reached over to touch Lois’s arm. “But at least you’ve come home today. I’m glad for that. Maybe you can
visit again after the wedding—and bring this husband of yours with you.”

Lois pasted on a bright smile and settled in. The conversation soon flowed easily enough—now that the hard part was out of the way. The talk was all about Verna’s baby and the Amish wedding season ahead of them. Lois’s face fell momentarily when that subject came up, but she recovered quickly.

Finally, just before she left, Lois spent some time alone with Ida. The two whispered together near the front door when Saloma went into the kitchen. Debbie watched the sisters with no little sadness that things would never be as they had been. Lois’s happiness in the
Englisha
world made that only too apparent.

Three

T
he next morning as Bishop Beiler preached the main sermon, Debbie shifted to a more comfortable spot on the bench. The group of baptismal candidates had their seats set up near the ministers. She wasn’t used to sitting right out in the open where everyone could see her. Usually she was seated behind a row or two of younger girls. Debbie tried not to move, but that had been difficult for the entire three-hour church service. She clasped her hands on her lap and forced herself to focus on the bishop. The clock on the living room wall crept toward twelve. The sermon would close soon, and she wasn’t about to embarrass herself on the day of her baptism by squirming like a three-year-old.

Debbie sat up even straighter when Minister Kanagy’s gaze came her way. He hadn’t paid much attention to her all morning, even during their last instruction class upstairs. Perhaps Minister Kanagy thought he should make one last check before it was too late.

I look perfect!
Debbie wanted to yell. But that wasn’t even remotely the attitude a baptismal candidate should have. She smiled to think how her lack of being raised Amish sure showed at times. Minister Kanagy, of course, wouldn’t take that as an excuse.

At least Minister Kanagy hadn’t paid any attention to Ida, who was seated over in the unmarried girls’ section. If he had, Debbie might have glared at him, baptism or no baptism. But a glare at Minister Kanagy could have no good end—even after one was baptized.

She hadn’t caught sight of Alvin all day. He was seated somewhere among the row of unmarried men, she was sure. Alvin would be here for her baptismal day, even if some emergency had come up on the farm. Alvin’s
daett
would cover for him, although Edwin was officially retired and lived in a
dawdy haus
with his wife, Helen, who had suffered a serious stroke this year.

Debbie focused again on Bishop Beiler’s preaching. The bishop had his hands clasped now. He paused for a long moment before he turned toward the row of baptismal candidates. “We have come to this important step in the lives of these young people. All summer we as a ministry have tried to instruct them on how a godly and humble life is to be lived before
Da Hah
. We have found them submissive and willing to obey. For this we are grateful, and our hearts are glad. So without further words, if these are still willing to confess their faith before
Da Hah
and this congregation, they may kneel.”

Debbie waited until the others moved first. Since she was the only girl in the class, all she had to do was follow the boys. Debbie slipped to her knees and brushed the long folds of her dress behind her. She bowed her head as Bishop Beiler began to ask the questions at the other end of the line.

The bishop’s voice trembled when he reached her. “Do you, our sister Debbie, confess before
Da Hah
and these many witnesses that you will forsake the devil, the world, and your own flesh, and that you will obey the voice of
Da Hah
alone?”

“
Yah
,” Debbie said softly.

A light touch of a hand came down on her
kapp.

Deacon Mast, who stood beside the bishop, tipped his water
pitcher three times as the bishop intoned, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. You may stand to your feet.”

Saloma had made her way out of the married women’s section by the time Bishop Beiler had helped Debbie to her feet. Saloma took her hand and kissed her on the cheek. The two embraced. Saloma didn’t release Debbie right away as a soft sob escaped her. When Deacon Mast cleared his throat, Saloma held Debbie at arm’s length and gave her a teary-eyed smile.

Debbie wiped her eyes. On the way back to their seats, she almost stumbled over a satchel set up against a bench leg. Saloma noticed and reached back with a hand to steady her. Saloma’s eyes shone with happiness. Thankful for the help, Debbie’s thoughts turned inward. It was almost as if she were born anew today. She’d become someone she hadn’t been by natural birth. But wasn’t that the way it should be? Her heart pounded as she kept her eyes on the songbook for the last song. On this her baptismal day, would Alvin finally make up his mind and ask her home? Surely this would help. If Alvin did ask her, she could move on to the next important goal all Amish girls had—saying marriage vows with the man they loved. And beyond that to raise families for the next generation of people of faith and community.

The singing finished, Debbie remained seated for a moment, catching her breath from all the excitement. Deacon Mast’s
frau
, Susie, was the first to come up and greet her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“You made it, Debbie!” Susie was all smiles. “We all knew you would.”

“Thanks to the Beilers’ help,” Debbie replied at once. Even in triumph, she knew one gave thanks to others for the parts they played.

“You did plenty yourself,” Susie told her. “And now you’re really one of us. Well, I’m glad for you.” Susie’s face fell for a moment. “
Da
Hah
gives and
Da Hah
takes, that’s what I told David this morning. Not that long ago we lost a member, but today we gain new ones.”

Debbie’s voice caught. “That was so sad about Barbara’s passing.”

Susie nodded. “One should never question
Da Hah
though. He always knows what’s best.”

“It’s still so hard.” The words slipped out.

Susie didn’t appear offended. “That’s the part we must work through, trusting Him. Well, let’s not spoil the joy of your day, Debbie. Welcome again.”

“Thank you,” Debbie whispered as Susie moved on. Others came and shook her hand, wishing her God’s best and telling her what a blessing and inspiration she was to many of them. She was surprised to hear that. The community had been a blessing to her more than anything.

Ida soon pulled on her hand. “Shall we go help with the tables?”

“Of course,” Debbie agreed. She didn’t expect royal treatment, even though it was her special day. Back to work it was. There had been no sign of Verna seated among the women today, but she hadn’t expected her friend to venture out again until the birth of her child. Ida seemed to read her glance as they made their way to the kitchen. “I don’t see Verna either, but I’m sure she’s thinking of you.”

“Thanks.” Debbie smiled. The kitchen was crowded, with women and girls everywhere. Ida found Deacon Mast’s wife, Susie, and tapped on her shoulder. “May we help somewhere?”

Susie thought for a moment. “The unmarried men’s table in the back of the house needs help.”

Debbie’s feelings sank as Ida moved toward the bowls of peanut butter and red beets lined up on the counter. She had no choice but to follow Ida’s lead, although at the moment she’d rather do almost anything else. Debbie loaded her hands with bowls. Maybe she could drop out of line and serve the married men’s table instead. But
that would provoke strange glances from the other girls since that table apparently had plenty of servers assigned to it.

She still hadn’t seen any sign of Alvin, but Paul Wagler was here, plain as day. He looked up and smiled at her as they approached the unmarried men’s table.

“What an honor!” Paul cracked. “Our food ought to be so blessed today, being freshly baptized and all.”

“You can shut up!” Debbie snapped before she could seal her lips. This would only encourage Paul further. Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut when Paul teased? The room teetered with laugher, and Paul’s look was triumphant. Ida placed her bowls on the table with a quick sideways glance at Paul. Ida used to have her heart set on the eventual capture of the man’s attention, but that had never happened. Why didn’t Ida try again? Debbie wondered. Instead she planned to settle for Minister Kanagy. Such an effort would so be like the self-sacrificing Ida. She probably didn’t even know how to pursue her own interest in Paul. And Paul wasn’t interested anyway. He wanted a flashier girl—like Debbie, Paul claimed.

“Oh, she’s still in dreamland… ” Paul leaned over to coo in Debbie’s direction. “Well, I say I’m glad to see it myself.”

There was weak laughter from the other men. Paul sounded half-genuine in his appreciation. Debbie’s heart softened toward him for a moment. Surely on one’s baptismal day she ought to think nice thoughts—even of Paul Wagler.

Paul had a big grin on his face. “I see Deacon Mast’s water didn’t wash away any of her beauty.”

“That’s enough out of you!” Ida gave Paul a glare.

Paul appeared chastened for a second before he joined in the laughter all around him.

As she followed Ida back to the kitchen, Debbie stared at her friend in astonishment. What had come into Ida to speak up like that? Normally she didn’t dare stand up to any wisecrack Paul made.

“Thank you!” Debbie whispered. Emery had sat at the end of the table, but he acted like he approved of Paul’s actions. Thankfully his sister disagreed. It would have been nice if Emery had also stuck up for her.

Ida glanced back, appearing pale and surprised at her words to Paul. “That wasn’t a nice thing for him to say.”

Debbie smiled. “At least you noticed. But I know that’s just Paul.”

Ida continued as if she hadn’t heard. “You’re good looking and very decent, Debbie. On that he was saying the truth.”

“Hush!” Debbie felt a rush of heat run up her neck. “Don’t say that.” Now if Alvin said such things she would have accepted them—but not from Paul.

Ida gave her a weak smile. “I guess it isn’t decent to say such things.”

Debbie leaned closer in the press of the crowd of women to whisper, “You ought to pursue him yourself, you know.”

Ida choked for a moment. “Now you’re thinking crazy. You ought to accept who
Da Hah
has laid out for you, Debbie. The two of you are made for each other like peas in a pod.”

Ida’s words stung deep. She meant them as a compliment, but Debbie knew she and Paul were not in any way a match. Paul was an arrogant man. Despite Ida’s own feelings for Paul, she’d tried to push Paul and her together all of last year. Ida acting in her usual self-sacrificing way, of course.

Debbie stepped closer as Ida leaned toward her. “Debbie, did you notice Alvin wasn’t here on your baptismal day?”

Debbie winced. She’d been too distracted by Paul’s teases to see for sure if Alvin was at the unmarried men’s table.

Ida continued. “I really should tell you this, Debbie. It’s not right that you don’t know.”

Debbie gave Ida a quick glance. Ida wasn’t one to spread rumors, so she had to think this was serious news.

Ida came even closer. “Alvin’s
mamm
, Helen, hasn’t been well for some time—since her stroke this summer.”