Finding My Highlander (26 page)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The men gave little more than cursory greetings to Andra as they strapped on their weapons and tied their gear to the horses. It was still dark when the guard lowered the bridge and opened the gate for them to ride out of the castle. Heavy swirls of misty clouds draped the upper ramparts and towers. She cast one final, longing gaze on the place that had become her home and refuge during the past months. A worried, forlorn ache welled in her chest, and she could not prevent the tears that slid down her face. No one had come to see them off. Kendrick left the castle’s defense in the hands of his chief guard, Alec. The previous evening, Kendrick had informed the family they’d be gone for a few days. His manner of declaration informed everyone he would not tolerate questions about their absence.

Under a steady drizzle of rain, they rode fast and hard. The ghost-gray sky seemed to droop against their heads making it impossible to judge the passage of time by the sun. A somber mood enveloped the now well-wet travelers.

“We’ll rest here to refresh ourselves and the horses.” Kendrick announced as they approached a small clearing beside a copse of young saplings and a few scattered pines.

The area was not familiar to Andra. “Is this a different route than we took to return to the castle from the cave?” she asked, stretching her stiff back and legs, pushing off the sopping plaid she had worn over her head.

“Aye, ‘tis a much steeper and harder ride, which was not possible when we carried the bairns and Lorne with his grave injuries.” He scanned the scraggy peaks shrouded in fog.

“Don’t blame it on me.” Lorne chided, his mood more jovial once they stopped. “I did just fine. ‘Twas Cormag and his renegades that you sought to avoid on the ride home.”

Andra flinched, sucking in a breath as if the words had punched her in the stomach.

“Och, beg your pardon. I dinnae mean to remind you of any unpleasantness.”

Struan piped in on the subject as well. “Dinnae fash yourself over the likes of him. You did the world a great favor wiping that filth off the face of the earth.”

She doubled over, bile burning her throat, feeling as if she would hurl everything in her stomach.

“Hold your wheesht, you fools,” Kendrick admonished.

“Well, ‘tis nothing to be ashamed aboot is all I’m saying,” asserted Struan.

Andra stood up abruptly. “I know all of you are accustomed to killing your enemies and the blood and guts and violence don’t faze you, but I still find it overwhelming.” Kendrick moved to comfort her but she lifted a halting hand.

“I’m not saying I would not do exactly the same thing if faced with similar circumstances. I’m certain I would. I’m just not ready to discuss it, if you please.” On that note, she turned and stomped a few feet away.

She caught a few of the Gaelic phrases they spoke. As far as she could tell, none of the men raised a question about why they were traipsing over the countryside. She hadn’t thought to ask Kendrick what reason he had given them for the trip, if any. The powerful connection she felt for these men surprised her. They had shared hardships, laughter, fear, passion, and love, all of it at a visceral level. It stunned her that she did not miss daily newspapers, magazines and forgot about television. Why had she ever wasted time on that medium when there was so much life to be lived?

“
The hapless five
.” She laughed aloud.

Kendrick moved behind her. “You find something amusing, lass?”

“Not really.” She dropped her chin shaking her head with a smile quirking the corner of her mouth. “It’s just a name came to mind for our auspicious group.” she chuckled.

“Och, I’m thinking it might be unflattering of me and my men?”

“I mean nothing derogatory, but the term hapless five popped into my head and made me laugh.”

“Humph. No offense taken then.” His attempted scowl failed miserably.

She searched the hills, afraid to focus on Kendrick for fear she would lose her nerve. “How long before we reach the cave?”

“If we ride hard and keep our stops brief and infrequent, we might arrive there by midnight. Depends if the weather continues to hold.”

It had been drizzling steadily since a short while after they left the castle. “You consider this,” she waved her hand and wrung out her soaked plaid, “to be
held
weather?”

Rabbie had been quiet the entire ride, but piped up with a smirk, “This is a veritable bonny day in the Highlands. Winter will be upon us soon, and then you’ll think on this day as extremely pleasant.”

A frown quickly replaced the brief smile. She thought Kendrick had advised his cousin of their purpose, and the possibility she would not be here come winter.

They made only two other quick stops. For the most part, she thought they made them for her benefit and not their own. Her back ached; her butt and legs had grown numb. It seemed as though she’d ridden her blasted horse for a lifetime when they came around a small loch and started another assent. Night had slipped its dark fingers around them hours ago. The men seemed capable of riding indefinitely without conversation. They could doubtless ride in their sleep. She’d suspected they were simply riding around in circles, completely lost, until they passed a loch that reminded her of the place where they’d encountered Rabbie the night of the children’s rescue. Perhaps they were not lost after all.

The drone of the horses’ hooves over damp ground or rocky escarpment invaded her ruminations. Was she making the right choice? Could she turn back now and forget her past, forge a new future in this land of harsh yet exquisite beauty and even harsher living conditions? A knot formed in her stomach when she considered a future without Kendrick. She knew, without a doubt, that she could carve out a life with him by her side and relish whatever time they could grasp.

Suddenly, an even more disturbing thought punched through her consciousness. The first Jacobite rebellion would be happening in less than ten years. What would happen then? Now her mind fidgeted over all manner of horrific new concerns. Did she dare tell them what little she knew of their history? Would the consequences of such a revelation be catastrophic? Did these thoughts represent more reasons why she should not stay? Exhaustion covered her more heavily than the sodden weight of her cloak.

“Andra, love, we are here.”

Kendrick’s hands lifting her off the horse jerked her to the present. “Was I asleep?” she asked, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“If not, then you were verra deep in thought.” He stepped back but didn’t release her immediately. Tension marred his beautiful face. “We dinnae need to continue with this experiment. We can leave on the morrow after a bit of rest and reconnaissance of the area. It’s not too late to stop.”

“I’m weary and soaked to my bones, Kendrick. Now is not the time to discuss this further. Let us face tomorrow and see what comes.”

Rabbie, Lorne, and Struan busied themselves at the back of the cave lighting a fire and laying out pallets for sleep. She wandered toward the pools and waterfall. Dropping to her knees, she splashed icy water on her face. The thoughts of their last time in the cave swamped her with kaleidoscopic visions, and heat tingled between her legs. If she weren’t so exhausted and confused, she would grab Kendrick’s hand, drag him to her spot under the pines, and beg him to ravish her senseless, making all her worries dissolve under his heated ministrations.

Then what, you dolt?
There was no sense rehashing anything. Sleep, they all needed sleep now.

She could feel Kendrick’s gaze on her. Obviously, he could not rest either. Finally, he moved his pallet next to hers and pulled her back against his chest. She snuggled against his heat until they both finally nodded off.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Andra was running, her legs felt like lead weights. Fire engulfed everything around her, people were screaming and heavy smoke filled the air. Though she tried desperately to scream, no sound would escape her parched throat. Suddenly, the thunder of horses’ hooves pounded toward her and she faced a ghostly charger carrying a golden god. They didn’t see her, and in seconds would trample her under their slashing hooves. She startled awake, her brow drenched with sweat.

The men attended to their business oblivious of her terror. The smell of roasting rabbit made her mouth water while her stomach roiled in revulsion. She went to the pool, splashed moisture on her face, and gulped refreshing water from her cupped hands.

“Are you well, Andra?” Kendrick had approached silently. How did they manage to come upon her unawares all the time?

“Yes, I just need a moment of privacy.” She headed to the entrance noticing the sky had turned a pale gray; it must be at least an hour or more past dawn, she decided.

When she re-entered the cave she stayed by the horses and gear and waved Kendrick toward her. “What have you told the men about our mission?”

“As yet, they only know that you’re looking for something you lost,” He quirked his brow at her inquiry.

“Thank you. I’ll join everyone shortly.” She turned back toward her gear that someone had removed from her horse the night before. She had carried a bow and quiver of arrows on the trip. She took them in hand, and then she went to Struan’s pack and removed his broadsword. The hiss of his sword as she removed it from its sheath riveted eight eyes on hers.

They started to move toward her when she stopped them with a firm command. “Stand down. Hold there, if you please.”

“What danger worries you, lass?” Struan asked, eyeing his sword precariously clasped in one hand while she held her bow in the other, an arrow notched in readiness. Rabbie stood back, his hands loose at his sides. Lorne stepped toward him, a worried look on his face.

“I have something to tell you, Struan, and you too, Lorne. Rabbie and Kendrick are already aware of what I’m about to disclose.”

“Andra, what in God’s name are you on about?” Kendrick yelled. She almost laughed at his shocked expression, but now was not the time for levity. Besides, she suspected he’d be even more shocked before she finished her speech.

She tossed the broadsword to land close to Struan’s feet and then raised the bow and arrow, aiming it directly at Struan’s heart. “Don’t reach for it yet, just listen to me.”

He pulled his arms across his chest, stood to his full formidable height, a fierce scowl wrinkling his brow. “Now, what is this nonsense? You think to threaten me with your wee bow and arrow. You’d be dead a’fore the arrow pierced my heart assuming your aim is true.” He cast an anxious glance toward his companions, perhaps not quite so certain of his claim. He bluffed, as he well knew she possessed excellent aim.

“I have no desire to harm any of you. I love you all as though you were my family, my blood, and I think my actions have proven that sufficiently. But…” she took a deep breath and focused steely attention on one man.

“Struan, do you see that I hold your life in my hands?”

“Mayhap, mayhap no,” he grumbled lifting his chin boldly.

“Good, now pick up the sword at your feet.”

“Andra, stop this!” Kendrick started to move and she swung the arrow toward him. “What are you doing? I can see your mind awhirl with some mad scheme. Put down your weapon, Andra, before someone is hurt.” His rigid stance suggested he might be questioning everything she’d told him. Perhaps he wondered if she was insane or a witch after all.

“I will do this my way, Kendrick. Please just hold your peace and give me a moment.” Swinging back to Struan, she said, “Pick up your sword, Struan.”

He warily reached for his sword without taking his eyes off her. She released a sigh of relief because so much hinged on the wild tactic she had decided upon. Struan was the most superstitious of the bunch and what he would shortly witness could have devastating consequences to her and possibly to everyone else.

“Will you allow me to speak without threat, until you’ve heard everything I wish to tell you?” She stared at Struan and glanced quickly to Lorne. Lorne lifted his palms in supplication.

Struan answered, “Aye, whatever grave news you have to impart, I will listen. You needn’t threaten my life for the consideration.”

“Good.” Never wavering, she dropped the bow to the dirt and lifted her arms wide. “You now hold my life in your hands, my friend. What I’m about to tell you will be shocking, no doubt, but consider that Kendrick and Rabbie have already been apprised of this information and have accepted it as truth.”

She squared her shoulders, keeping her arms outstretched, she took a great gulp of breath and plunged ahead. “I am from the future, from many, many years and a place far away in the future.” So began the saga of her time travel to when they found her and why they had returned here today. Before she half-finished the story, Struan tipped his sword into the ground, his mouth agape in astonishment.

When she finished, she lowered one arm, fisted the other hand, and pointed a finger at Struan. “And I do not want to hear you accusing me of being a witch again. Do you understand me, Struan? I won’t stand for it. I do not understand how this happened. We have come here today to find out if this time travel thing can be reversed.”

“Is this some sort of crazy joke?” asked Lorne. Struan stammered incoherently.

“Nae,” Rabbie laughed. “‘Tis no joke. Andra has shown us information that makes her story plausible, though downright astounding.”

“Have all of you completely lost your minds?” Clearly, Struan could not grasp Andra’s disclosure. “I do not find this amusing.”

Kendrick burst into raucous laughter. He turned to Andra shaking his head. “You’ll have to grant him that you are a wee bit mad. After all, who in their right mind would hand Struan his claymore and then rattle his senses with such an outburst. You might have considered a more orthodox method of disclosing your story.” Then he burst out laughing so hard he had to gasp for breath.

“Well, ‘tis unbelievable. Absolute madness and nothing less,” Struan sputtered, his face blanched of all color. “I cannae comprehend what you’re saying. If ever there was witchery...” He stopped abruptly as both Kendrick and Andra glared daggers at him. Struan continued to stare at Andra as though a fearful apparition had appeared in their midst. “Mayhap she has bewitched all of you.”

She did not want this to end in an altercation between Kendrick and his most trusted men. She must convince Struan, so she marched up to him and stood, once again toe-to-toe in challenge. “There is no witchery, and no one has been bewitched. Can we just agree that there are many mysteries in this universe that no one understands and due to some bizarre quirk of nature I find myself inexplicably here—in your time—a time that is not my own. I am not a witch. I am only flesh and blood, no different than you.”

“Do you think I’m insane, Struan? Do ye doubt your laird?” Kendrick had adopted his most lairdly timbre, and she could feel the heat of him as he moved to stand behind her.

Struan did not look at her, but at a point over her shoulder. “Well now, that ‘tis not exactly what I meant. I would ne’er disparage you, Kendrick, but I’m having great trouble accepting her declaration.”

He blew an exasperated huff toward the roof as if he would find an answer etched in the rock above his head. “Mayhap the wee fairy folk are playing mischief with us.” He finally turned his gaze on Andra. “However, I’ll not dispute the matter with you. I owe you a boon for leveling the odds against my opponents in our recent battle. And if there’s magic in you, it has only been to our good. Though I’ll not deny it unsettles the mind, but if Kendrick and Rabbie believe this wild story, then I will not argue.”

Kendrick turned her toward him and swung her into his arms, pressing a firm kiss on her mouth. “You’re going to be the death of me, woman. I am not in favor of this scheme you’ve set your mind to, but now we’re here let us see to it.”

By late afternoon, they had arrived at the place by the boulder where Andra had landed that fateful day. The men reluctantly left her alone while she laid everything out on her plaid. She pulled the urn onto her lap and rubbed its smooth surface like a talisman.

“Well, Dad, it’s now or never.” Her voice sounded loud in the sudden quiet around her. “I wish you could advise me because to tell the truth, I don’t think anything remains for me in San Francisco or my time. Everything I’ve ever wanted seems to be right here. Does that sound completely ridiculous?”

“Of course it does, but you are the one who sent me here. Perhaps you didn’t specifically plan to toss me through a time portal into 1705, but that’s what happened.” She removed the lid and held up the urn listening for the rumble of horses’ hooves.

* * *

She was a wild one, and Kendrick would never be the same if she left him this day. Yet, he could not suppress the delight she elicited with her antics, no matter how unorthodox her methods. The hardest moment in the last few days came when he led his men into the forest, leaving Andra sitting on her plaid with all her possessions spread around her. It took considerable will not to beg her to reconsider, not to grab her onto his horse and hare into the hills. Unfortunately, he knew she had to get it out of her system and he must allow it, even though a part of him wanted to throw her over his shoulder, carry her back to his castle, and tie her to his bed. An erotic image jumped into his head at the thought of her lashed to his bed, naked with her auburn hair spilling across his pillow.

The men had not talked between themselves since leaving Andra. They stopped the horses about a half-mile from where they’d left her.

Uncharacteristically, Struan spoke first. “Why in bloody hell are we doing this? If you truly believe she’s from the future, and you obviously don’t want her to leave, what are we aboot? What if this is the work of some witch—” Kendrick glared at him. “All right, all right—fairy folk or the like? What will happen to her if she ends up somewhere terrible with no family and no one to take care of her? This is bloody well the stupidest thing we’ve e’er done, and I’m not fookin’ in favor of it. Not at all.” His agitation caused his horse to dance and jump under him.

Lorne and Rabbie vociferously agreed with Struan.

Kendrick rubbed a hand through his thick hair, making it stand up on end. “I am not in favor of this either, but it must be done. She will not let it go. It plagues her night and day. She’ll never have a moment’s peace if she does not try this experiment. We’re here. It will soon be done and over with.”

“And if she doesn’t disappear through the threads of time, brother?” Lorne asked. “What then?”

“Although it is none of your damn business, I intend to marry her, and I’ll not be naysaid on the matter.”

“It’s aboot fookin’ time!” exclaimed Struan, startling everyone. The other two men chimed in, resolute in their agreement that he and Andra belonged together.

“Let’s get it done then.” Kendrick spurred his horse through the trees at a full gallop.

* * *

The rumble of horses’ hooves reached her ears. “It’s time, Dad!”

She tilted the urn with her right hand, rubbed the ruby in her father’s ring with the thumb of her left hand, and let the ashes drift on the wind. “As you requested, Dad, I leave your ashes on the soil of your ancestors. Speak to me, please; help me know my course.”

Originally, she had planned to withhold a small portion of ashes, just in case. Now, as she watched the men approach, a shaft of light penetrated the trees, illuminated Kendrick’s blond hair, and shimmered around the horses. The filtered sunlight lent the air a burnished orange like fire. It was a replica of the previous night’s nightmare. Kendrick looked like a bronzed god atop his charging horse.

Holding her breath, she fully upended the urn. “All, or nothing,” she gasped. Andra awaited the crushing blows from the horses’ hooves or their passage, like a whisper of air, through the vacant spot where she had knelt only moments before.

The scene appeared to her as a dissolving palate of form and color as they roared through the trees; a bit like a Monet painting when standing too close. She wondered if she was already gone, no longer visible to them, just a dissipating vapor on the wind.

The horses pulled to an abrupt halt a few yards in front of her. Kendrick was the point man, Lorne slightly behind on his right, Rabbie and Struan the wingmen. Kendrick’s horse huffed, tossed his bridle, and stomped his hooves, turning in tight circles, rebelling against the cessation of their gallop.

The entire vista swam before her in a watercolor wash. When Kendrick slipped off his horse and threw the reins to Lorne, she dropped the urn. “It is done,” she whispered. She could barely see him now.

His hand reached in her direction. “Saints alive! Andra?” He flicked his wrist, fingers imploring her, “Lass? Is it over? Are ye finished?”

She sucked in a gasp of air, only then realizing that the watery vision was due to a torrent of tears streaming over the rim of her lashes.

“Oh my God! I didn’t leave. I’m here.” In a flash, she ran to Kendrick and threw herself into the arms of the man she loved as she had never loved another. “You are here. I am here.” She laughed, cried, and slapped her hands to his face and shoulders, needing assurance that he truly held her in his arms.