Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1) (4 page)

"Yes, I am. I'm just dreading letting David know."

"It will all work out, Kayla. Have faith. God will never put more on you than you can handle. He has a plan for you and you have to trust that."

She pats me on the back and goes back to packing up the kitchen stuff. We'll be eating out a lot, I guess.

I have faith. I believe in God and I know he has a plan for me. But I feel I'm so far off from that now. I've done things I'm not proud of, that I know God is not happy with either.

I go back to my room and decide to pack my clothes for vacation. I get lost in the music on the radio. Debbie Gibson is my favorite new pop artist. Her new song,
"Lost in Your Eyes"
, comes on and I start to sing along. As the song ends I hear clapping behind me and turn around to see Tessa and Asher standing in the doorway. I'm mortified. I can feel the heat up my neck and on my face so I know I'm bright red right now.

Tessa snickers and says "I'm glad you're in a good mood, because David pulled in the driveway at the same time we did."

My heart drops and I feel sick.

"Yeah, He doesn't look real happy. Can't really blame him, though, you've been avoiding him like the plague. Wait till he finds out your leaving."

Tessa playfully slaps him in the chest. "You're not helping, Asher."

"I'm just saying she needs to end this. He's not going to walk away on his own.” He looks at me and shrugs his shoulder. “I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just stating a fact."

I smirk at Asher and say, "Well, thank you, Captain Obvious." He just shakes his head and laughs.

Well, time to face the music. I walk down the stairs as Tessa and Asher call out "Good luck" in unison. I roll my eyes, knowing that they can't see me. David decided to wait outside, which leads me to believe he is going to be high. I walk out the door and he is leaning against the hood of his car with his legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles and his arms folded across his chest. He doesn't greet me with a smile this time.

"Hey." He just nods his head at me. "I called your house and left you a message to call me."

"Didn't get that. I haven't heard from you in a week. So I've been riding around trying to figure out what's going on with you. I ended up here. I don't even remember making the decision to drive to your house."

I can tell he has been smoking. His body language is telling me he's angry and hurting. "I'm sorry, David. We've been busy trying to get the house packed up and ready for the move to the lake. Between that and school I haven't had any free time."

He makes a sound that resembles something like a growl. My eyes widen. I'm shocked by his anger he's never shown me this side of him before. When he uncrosses his legs and moves toward me, I take a step back from him. His brow furrows at me and his face transforms into sadness. Honestly, he looks as if I've slapped him.

"I would never hurt you, Kayla. I was just going to give you a hug." He shakes and lowers his head, then turns away from me.

"I'm sorry, David. You just looked so angry. It was just a gut reaction."

He spins around and his face is red. He then speaks to me through clenched teeth. "Don't you think I have a right to be angry with you? We've been together for two years. We are engaged. Yet you, my fiancée, ignore me for a whole week. Damn right, I'm mad." He runs his hands through his hair.

This isn't going to go well. "I think we need a break from each other." I stop to gauge his reaction. He's just staring at me, but he looks like he is about to explode. I take a deep breath and say what I have to say next quickly. "Tessa has invited me to go with her to her mom’s for spring break. We are leaving in the morning and won't be back until next Sunday. I need this. I need time to think. I promise, when I get back we will talk all this out."

He paces back and forth for the longest time. He runs his hands through his hair and he looks like he's pulling on it at the same time. His breathing is rapid as if he is trying really hard to control his emotions.

"Okay. I mean it's not like I can stop you, right? When you get back things are going to be different. This crap is going to stop. I'm not going to stand for it anymore. We are engaged and you are going to start acting like it."

"First of all, no, you can't stop me. Second, you can't tell me how to act. Third, I already told you we would talk when I get back. I think it is best if you just go now. I have to finish packing for the trip and it's getting late."

He walks over and hugs me. He quietly turns gets in his car and starts to back out of the driveway, and then he leans out the window and asks "Am I losing you, Kayla?" Our eyes meet, but I don't respond. "That's what I thought. I'm not letting you go. You go on your trip, but just know I'm not giving up easily."

He doesn't give me time to respond, he just pulls off. I shake from the shiver that runs down my spine. David isn’t violent. I know this. However, the words he just spoke to me keep running through my mind. I walk over to the porch and sit on the steps, contemplating life in general and where I went wrong and how I’m going to fix it.

I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting when I hear the front door open. I don’t turn to see who it is. She sits down with me and instead of her normal light and carefree attitude; she’s quiet as if she is trying to figure out what is the right thing to say to me. She takes a deep breath and puts her arms around me. We sit in silence for what seems like hours, however, I’m sure is only minutes.

“Kayla, it’s all going to work out. We’re going to go on this trip and let you clear your head. We are going to go and have some fun. I’m going to help you see that there is more to life than what you’re doing right now. There is someone out there that will be so much better for you than David. You have to understand that what happened wasn’t your fault. He’s changed and you’ve changed. You don’t belong together and you not forcing him to face that is only going to hurt both of you in the end. It’s keeping both of you from finding the person you are meant to be with. The one that God has already chosen for you.”

I lean my head over onto Tessa’s shoulder and think about everything she just said. She’s right, I know this. She keeps telling me the same stuff and I know she is right. I’ve just got to get the guts to take that step and move on. Even if it means hurting him to save us both.

The door creeks and Tessa and I both turn to see that Asher has his head stuck out the cracked door. He raises his eyebrows and gives us both a smirk. He is too cute for his own good.

“Is it safe to come out? I don’t want to interrupt girl time or anything but you girls are getting ready to spend an entire week together without me. So I’d like a few more minutes with my girlfriend before the parentals kick me out for the night.”

Tessa and I both start laughing at him. I look at him and smile. “Go ahead Asher. Tell your girl goodbye. I haven’t finished getting everything ready for tomorrow anyway.” I turn back to Tessa. “Thanks.”

“Girl, no problem. You know I gotta keep you straight.”

I walk back inside and leave the love birds alone. I know Tessa is doing this strictly for my benefit. She was looking forward to spending Spring Break with Asher. And Asher is so wonderful because he hasn't complained at all, saying I need this too, I know they are both hoping all this is over soon.

Kayla

I didn’t sleep much last night. I tossed and turned not being able to turn my brain off. So I decided around five o’clock to just get up and get ready to go. I’ve been trying to be quiet so as not to wake Tessa up. She wakes up early anyway so she should be up soon.

I've already showered, brushed my teeth, dried and styled my hair, applied some light make-up, and dressed. I would have thought the hair dryer would have woken her up. Okay, maybe she isn’t going to wake up.

Taking our suitcases downstairs, I sit them by the door, then go into the kitchen and grab some water. The house is way too quiet. I used to welcome the silence, but now I don’t care for it. It gives my mind too much time to think. I return to our bedroom and walk over to Tessa’s bed. She is still asleep and is now lying on her back. So I lean over and begin to whisper in her ear.

“Tessa, Tessa, Tessssaaa,” I get nothing but a groan. Trying again, “Tesssaaa.” Still nothing. Deciding to try a different approach to her defiance, I put one hand on each of her shoulders and gently shake her while shouting. “Tessa! Get your rump up! I’m ready to get out of this town.”

Tessa rolls over and tries to open her eyes. I try not to laugh at her. This is not my bright eyed, bushy tailed Tessa. Her hair is all over the place and she looks angry that I am interrupting her sleep.

“Is this payback for me waking you up all the time?” I laugh at her.

“No, not payback. I’m just ready to leave. I’ve been up for two hours. I can’t wait any longer for you to get up.”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t kept me up all night with your tossing and turning, I would have been up and ready to leave first thing this morning.”

I scrunch up my face and give her a fake toothy smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was keeping you awake. It wasn’t fun and games for me either.”

“I know. I’m getting up. Some caffeine and I will be good to go. Let me shower and I’ll be ready in no time. So we can blow this popsicle stand.”

The things she says cracks me up. I decide to sit and read my latest romance novel. It’s your typical love story, but I love them all. I’m a hopeless romantic. I want to believe that love can be like this, that it can happen in real life, or at least in some small capacity. I don’t want a fairy tale; I just want to be loved.

“I’m ready to go. Get your nose out of that book and let’s roll. We have an almost two hour drive ahead of us. Dad’s already up checking out the car making sure the tires are good and he even went and put gas in it for us.”

“Your dad is so sweet.”

“He is. I’m very blessed to be his daughter.”

A wave of jealousy hits me. I want what she has with her dad. At one point, I had that with my own, but lost it. The fact that I don't know what really happened between us makes it worse. There wasn't something solid that I could grab on to and know that was the reason for our broken relationship. With no solid reason, I can't figure out how to fix it or even if it can be fixed. Shaking my head, I try to push those thoughts away. This week is about relaxing and having some fun.

We walk downstairs to grab our bags, but of course Troy has already carried them out to Tessa’s car. It’s a little silver Mazda RX7 with a moon roof. I love her car.

“Here girls. I packed you a few snacks and some drinks. Just in case.” Lisa hands Tessa a small cooler.

“Thank you.” Tessa and I say simultaneously.

We look at each other and roll our eyes. We do this a lot. Say stuff at the same time. We used to think it was funny, but now it’s just annoying.

Lisa is lightly laughing at us. Troy walks over and wraps his arm around his wife and kisses the top of her head. My heart fills with love for these two.

Troy looks at us with a stern look on his face. “Girls. No speeding. No dancing and singing in the car, so that it distracts Tessa from keeping her eyes on the road. Take your time. There is no reason to rush. Everything is fine with the car; you shouldn’t have any problems. Call us as soon as you get there, not a minute later.” His deep voice conveys that he means what he is saying and that even though he is allowing us to go off on our own that he is worried about us. He leans down and kisses both of us on the head. “Just be careful, please.”

Tessa hugs him, saying, “Yes, sir.”

Nodding my head, I also say, “Yes, sir.”

Lisa hugs us and also tells us to be careful. We get into the car and pull out onto the road. Tessa has visited her mom many times, so she knows exactly how to get there. Once we are down the road. Tessa turns the radio up and we begin to sing along. It’s a beautiful spring day. We have the moon roof open and the wind is whipping through our hair. It’s going to be a great week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is it, girl. We are going to Just Games. It’s local place where all the teens go and hang out on the weekends. It’s not too far from here. They have pool tables, video games, and a juke box. I always go there when I come to visit Mom. There’s not much else to do around here.”

Looking at her, I’m feeling a little nervous, but excited all the same. “Okay. So what do we wear to this ‘Just Games’?” I use air quotes. She shakes her head and smirks at me.

We got here hours ago and, of course, the first thing we did was call and let her dad know that we made it here fine. Tessa’s mom and step-dad are going out tonight for dinner with some co-workers, so we are on our own tonight.

The house is a two story home in an upscale subdivision. It’s beautiful and is surrounded by pine trees. Of course, everywhere in North Carolina except the coast is covered in pine trees. Half of the lower level of the house is partially buried in the bank of a hill, which means some of the lower windows are very close to ground level. Tessa’s room is at the top of the stairs with a large picture window overlooking the back yard that has a stunning rose garden with a water feature. Tessa’s en-suite bathroom is the size of my old bedroom. Everything about this home is luxurious. However, Tessa’s mom and step-dad are not pretentious in any way. They are much like Tessa’s dad and step-mom.