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Authors: Barbara Speak

BOOK: Finding Solace
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"I told
you I never wanted to see you sad and I meant it. This part of your life will
someday lose the emotion you hold with it and just become a story you can tell
others. Maybe someday you can council girls like you were, and show them how to
get through it. But first, you have to move past this yourself. You were a
victim in a terrible circumstance, and you will move past this someday. I
promise. Now enough with feeling sad, it’s time for breakfast and this time we
are going out. So let’s take a shower and get ready, okay?"

 
I don't know
how Colt came to be a part of my life. I truly believe it had to be God’s plan.
I sure do know one thing though, I'm grateful.

 

 

CHAPTER
18

 
Today
was the big day for Shawn. No one wanted to push him to make any kind of
decision when it came to Jason before he was ready. Everybody was at his house
waiting for him when he came home from the doctor. No one wanted to make it a
surprise party because in that case, we would be celebrating a bad day instead
of a good one. Doing things this way, we were just there for support and
grateful that everything worked out for him. The only person that seemed to be
missing was Jason. Heather had begged him to come, but he was just too
uncomfortable to be able to do it, I guess. We all heard Shawn’s car pull in,
there was no mistaking the Mustang that he drove. I can tell you that I was on
pins and needles just waiting for the chance to see the beautiful face he
always sported. When he walked in the door, tears formed in my eyes. Everything
was as it should be. There was no trace or sign from anything that night to
hold memories in their place. He would eventually be able to move past all this
and hopefully forget. A line seemed to form just to be able to hug him. I
selfishly waited in the back, knowing I wanted a longer hug than most. When he
finally made it to the end, he looked like he had been hugged out, but his eyes
found me and lit up one last time. I jumped in his arms.

 
There was
not a place I would have rather been. Shawn was the first one of the guys I
met. We worked together at a steak house in town while I was in Cosmetology
school and before he could pour alcohol. He introduced me to the rest of the
guys when he started at bar ‘51’. He will always be one of my best friends.

 
"You
ready for a drink, my friend?"

 
"Music
to my ears, Sadie girl" Shawn heard my dad say that one night when he came
into the restaurant and has not let it go.

 
"Well
then, let’s get our drink on! I'm legal now. Can you believe it? "

 
"Oh
shit! You are not coming into ‘51’ are you? I can't beat off every patron that
has a dick between his legs. We'd be out of business in no time."

 
"No,
you can’t, but yes, I am. We celebrated my twenty first there. It was fine,
don't worry."

 
"That
is, if you don't count the dude I already had thrown out for feeling you up on
the dance floor that night." Colt had walked up as we were talking.

 
"What?
I knew I wasn't going crazy. What the hell did you do that for?"

 
"He did
it for the same reason I would. You’re special, Sadie. You don't need to have
random assholes feeling you up."

 
Shawn can
try to justify it all he wants, but I know Colt. He was jealous.

 
"Listen
here, both of you. I am a big girl who can handle herself. Thank you for caring
but don't ever do that again. Do you understand?"

 
Both men
looked at each other like they understood silent talk and then turned to me
simultaneously saying, "We understand."

 
Heather
found her way over and handed Shawn a beer before she handed me one.
"Thanks,
chica
! I needed this after the bomb
Colt just dropped on me."

 
"What
did he do now?" Heather looked over at a guilty faced Colt.

 
"Would
you leave him alone? He did the right thing. And I take back my promise. If I
see it, I'm doing it." Shawn stood firm.

 
"What
the hell did he see? I'm totally lost." Heather looked at me for her
answer.

 
Colt looked
at me and then smiled and walked away. He knew I was going to lose this one.

 
"I was
dancing and some guy started to get a little
handsy
.
He was there one minute and then gone. Like vanished! I just found out Colt had
him kicked out. Can you believe that?"

 
"Yes,"
was all she said and then walked
away.
What the heck
was wrong with these people? Shawn looked down at me, then laughed, rubbed my
head and left me by myself.

 
The get
together went well. No one brought up Jason. Everyone stayed a little too long
and then went home. Heather and I stayed to clean up for Shawn. When we were
done, we gave hugs and said goodbye.

 
She and I
got to the driveway when I heard her say, "I'm going over to Jason’s to
fill him in on how it went today. Are you going home?"

 
"I
think so. I might run by ‘51’ and apologize to Colt. He probably did me a favor
with that guy. "

 
"That
sounds like a good idea. Give the poor guy some slack. He cares about you.
Anyone with eyes can see it."

 
I told her
good bye and drove straight over to the bar. The parking lot was packed. I
walked around to the front entrance and saw Clint, the door guy. He was a blast
to bowl with, very competitive. He let me in without paying the cover charge. I
thanked him and kept walking. I couldn’t wait to find Colt. I was getting
butterflies in my stomach. When I walked past the front bar, Dave saw me and
screamed over the music for me to come over for a drink. Of course I wouldn’t
turn Dave down. I walked up to grab the beer when I heard him kick some guy off
of the bar stool he was sitting on.

 
"Dave!
You didn't have to do that."

 
"I
absolutely did, Sadie. You’re royalty here. Haven't you figured that out
yet?"

 
"What
are you talking about?"

 
"Colt
determined your status. You pay for nothing. Your friends pay for nothing.
Nobody touches you and everybody stays happy. Doesn't that make you royalty
because I have worked here for what seems like forever and no one gets what
you’re getting? Be grateful, Sadie, don't complain."

 
I hopped off
my barstool and started to pan the room. "Don't worry. I'm more than grateful!"

 
"That's
my girl."

 
I needed to
find Colt. I couldn't believe he would do all that for me. When I got ahold of
him, I was going to give him the biggest- Are you fucking kidding me?

 
I found Colt,
if you can only imagine. He was making out with some blonde. And don’t think I
am being
dramatic,
his hands are up her shirt. I
couldn’t do this. I could not see this. I started to walk away as fast as I
could without calling attention to myself when Bryan grabbed my arm and pulled
me into a hug.

 
"Didn't
expect to see you up here tonight, Sadie, but I sure am glad I did. Want a
drink?"

 
At first I
was going to decline, but then I saw Ash Williams at the bar Dave was working.
Pay backs are a bitch and Colt was about to find out.

 
"I
would love one. Are you off work yet?"

 
"I
wish. I close tonight. But have fun and I'm sure I will see
ya
around."

 
"Thanks,
Bryan."

 
I walked
back up to the bar and asked Dave for a shot this time. I needed liquid courage
something fierce to pull this off. I slammed the shot and asked for another.
Dave poured it, but this time asked me if something was wrong.

 
"Not at all, why?"

 
"Oh, I
didn’t mean anything by it. You just came in so bubbly and now you just seem
distracted. Are you sure nobody fucked with you, because I told you about the policy?"

 
"Dave,
I promise, I'm fine. Today was a great day. Shawn is back to health. It’s a
reason to celebrate."

 
"That
it is, Sadie."

 
I drank that
shot and then just asked for a beer. After he handed it to me, I walked away to
find my target. Ash was still sitting at the bar on the other side. I walked up
slowly trying to determine if he was with anyone. When I realized he seemed to
be alone, I approached him.

 
"Hey Ash!
I didn't think I would see you again so
soon."

 
"Sadie,
I can say the same thing. Not partying as hard tonight I see."

 
"No,
that was all for my birthday. This is just me dropping by to see a friend. What
brings you back?"

 
"Would
I sound like a stalker if I told you I have been here every night since, just
hoping I might get to see you again?”

 
I did not
even have to think twice about his question. "Yes. Yes, you would."

 
"Then
that definitely isn't my answer."

 
We both
cracked up laughing.

 
"For
real this time, I promise. This is actually the first time I've been back. It
just seems like a cool place to hang out."

 
"I like
that answer a whole lot better. So Ash, what do you do now?"

 
"I deal
with stocks and trades. What about you? I thought I heard something about you
cutting hair?"

 
"You
heard right. I love what I do. Not many people can say that."

 
"I
definitely can't. But the money's good."

 
"That
always helps. Hey, do you want to dance?"

 
"I
would love to if you’re the one asking."

 
We got up to
walk out on the dance floor and it seemed all the alcohol hit me at once. I was
feeling mighty good. Ash took my hand and led me out to the middle of the
floor. We danced for a while laughing and making fun of other people. I know
it’s
mean, but we all do it.

 
Then he
grabbed my hand and turned me around. I pressed my body into his and just let
go. I was a sweaty mess by this time but I didn’t care. What I cared about in
that moment was the way Ash felt behind me. I know it is a little too forward
for a girl to do, but I took my hands and brought them to his hips and begin
rubbing up and down his thighs. He leaned down and placed his head in the crook
of my neck. At the same time he thrust his pelvis and moaned. It was so
unbelievably sexy. Without warning, he turned me around and kissed me. I would
love to tell you I hated it and was just doing all of this to get Colt back,
but that would be a lie. Ash was an incredible kisser. My hands journeyed up
his back and into his hair as the kiss deepened. When we finally broke for air,
we both just looked at each other in amazement.

 
"I
didn't see that coming? Did you spike my drink or something when I wasn't
looking?" As he said it, he was laughing.

 
"I
think I saw the chick sitting next to you slip something in it, too bad for
her. But think again if you think you’re getting another shot with me after
that comment, asshole." I was also just kidding but the fact I kept a
serious face made Ash’s expression priceless.

 
"Sadie,
I'm sorry. I was just trying to play around. I didn't mean to offend you."

 
I couldn't hold
it in any longer. I cracked up. He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder
and spanked my butt. Thank God, I was wearing pants. He set me back down and
grabbed my shoulders so I was square with him.

 
"So not
funny, pay backs are a bitch."

 
This brought
my train of thought full circle, right back to Colt. Who, when I looked up, was
staring right at
me.
When our eyes met, he turned and
walked away. You would think I would have felt good about what just happened,
yet all I managed to do was vilify myself. Buzz kill would be a solid term to
describe what just happened. I turned my attention back to Ash. He didn't seem
to notice the scene that just took place. He was ready for another drink and
asked me to join him. But I was just ready for this night to end. I explained
to Ash that I had an early day at the shop and I really just needed to be
calling a cab. He understood and waited outside with me. He even paid the cab
fare and told me he would call me sometime. As the cab driver drove away he
said, "Your boyfriend seems very nice."

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