Finding the Center Within: The Healing Way of Mindfulness Meditation. (40 page)

minimization, 158

metta meditation, 188–94, 212

mislabeling, 158

mind

mistrust and abuse schema, 165, 166

big vs. little, 48

mitzvoth,
99

busyness of, 48, 58, 60–63

moksha, meditation and, 46

divided, 90–91

“Moments of Mindfulness” practice, 42

reading, 157, 203

“monkey mind,” 24

restless, 61–63

Montalvo, Braulio, 229

mindfulness

moods, negative, 156–61, 169–73.
See

as center, 2

also
negative emotions

in daily life, 81, 109.
See also

morality, authority-based, 111, 113

mindfulness techniques

mother archetype, 139–40

day of, 96–99

motion, incessant, 5

defined, 24

movement, during meditation, 57, 71

dreams and, 134

music, for meditation, 55

eightfold path and, 109

Mystics and Zen Masters
(Merton), 32

happiness and, 79

myths, dreams and, 132

moments of, 42

morality based in, 113

name calling, 203–204

no self and, 2

needs, unfulfilled, 23–24

obstacles to, 5–20

negative emotions.
See also specific

practicing, 41–42.
See also
meditation;

emotions

practices

acceptance of, 52

present moment and, 24, 32

avoidance of, 125–27, 181

purpose of, 81, 244–45

behavior and, 156–57, 169–73

to schemas, 166–68

breath and, 27, 68, 179–80

of speech, 206

calming of, 27, 68, 154–55, 156, 159,

techniques, 81.
See also
mindfulness

176, 179–80

techniques

cultivating, 155

therapy and, 182

distractions for, 172

mindfulness techniques.
See also

journaling and, 219–20, 233

practices

loop of, 26

balance, 92

low self-esteem and, 16–17

beginning of day, 87

schemas of, 162–68, 230–31

bells, 88–90

self-care and, 153–54, 168–69,

centering, 90–91

171–72

end of day, 87–88

self-love and, 191

environment, 92–94

slowing down and, 84

mindfulness day, 96–99

taking responsibility for, 181, 203

religious traditions and, 99–100

therapy for, 181–82

saturation, 81–82

thoughts and, 17, 26, 155, 156–61

slowing down, 82–85

walking meditation for, 171

tasks, 94–96

working with, 25, 64

“Where am I?” 90

neutral experiences, 25, 26–27

wu-wei,
85–86

never
statements, 204

Mindful Recovery
(Bien and Bien), 113, 169

New Seeds of Contemplation
(Merton), 79

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Nhat Hanh, Thich

mindfulness practice and, 35, 79–80

on anger, 173, 182

needs and, 23–24

on bells of mindfulness, 88, 89

obstacles to, 5–20, 29, 35

gathas of, 67, 69, 73, 118

return of, 93–94, 245

on life as a walk, 237

in present moment, 1

on meditation, 45, 51

as purpose of mindfulness, 245

on negative emotions, 181

perfectionism, 166, 243

on right speech, 201

personalization, 158

on thought patterns, 164

Phenomenon,
48

Nietzsche, Friedrich, 35–36

phrases, using in meditation, 67, 70, 71

nirvana, 46, 104

planning, 7–8

noble truths, four, 109

pleasant/unpleasant filter, 197

nonattachment, 105, 106–107, 108

pleasure, lowering threshold of, 114–15

no self

Po-chang, 164

dangers of, 118

positions, for meditation, 54–55, 57

discovering, 37–40

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),

environment and, 94

26

interconnectedness and, 211

practice, mindfulness.
See
meditation

mindfulness and, 1, 81

practice of the presence of God, 99–100

practical nature of, 39, 41

practices

in relationships, 187, 211

Acknowledge Your Many Roles, 10

situations, 40–41

Ask: Who’s in Charge? 95–96

noble silence, 97

Basic Meditation, 76

“not doing,” 85–86

Be Aware of Self-Punishing

numinous personalities, 140, 141

Thoughts, 17

nurture, self-, 153–54, 168–69, 171–72

Become the Beloved, 20

Challenge Depressive Thinking,

objects, types of, 25

161–62

“Observe Filters” practice, 198

Challenge Your Busyness, 116–17

old age, remembrance of, 104, 105

Change
Must
to
Prefer,
107–108

“om” mantra, 58

Change Your Environment, 93

opening the heart, 187–88

Choose a Living World, 121

optimism, 30

Count the Breath, 27

overexpectation, in relationships, 17–19,

Find Your Self, 38–39

141

Identify Your Maladaptive Schemas,

overgeneralization, 157

167–68

ox-cutting, 86

Listen Actively, 201

Metta Meditation, 191–93

pain, during meditation, 54, 55, 57

Moments of Mindfulness, 42

painful experiences, 25, 26, 27, 159

Observe Filters, 198

Patanjali, 189

Practice Mindful Consumption,

peace

113–14

as acceptance, 61

Practice Mindfulness of Livelihood,

environment and, 92–94

110

flow of, 49–50

Practice the Five Remembrances, 105

meditation to achieve, 46, 79–80

Reconnect with Your Roots, 15–16

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Psychotherapy East and West
(Watts),

Begging Bowl, 22

20–21

Tea Meditation, 41–42

puns, in dreams, 147

Things to Do on a Day of

Mindfulness, 98–99

Quaker traditions, 71

Twenty-five Healing Things, 171–72

Visualize Slowing Down, 85

radical acceptance, 24, 35–36

Week Eight, 183, 250

Ramakrishna and His Disciples

Week Five, 100–101, 248–49

(Isherwood), 207

Week Nine, 213, 250–51

rationalizations, 109, 111

Week One, 21–22, 247

recognition, mere, 62

Week Seven, 150, 249

“Reconnect with Your Roots” practice,

Week Six, 122, 249

15–16

Week Ten, 235, 251

reflective listening, 199

Weeks Three and Four, 77–78,

refuge, taking, 73–74

247–48

Reinventing Your Life (
Young and

Week Two, 42, 247

Klosko), 164, 182

Where Are You?, 8

relationships

Work with Anger Thoughts, 178

action in, 208–10

Work with Worries, 179–80

anger in, 175

Write Your Life Chapters, 231–33

anima and animus in, 141–42

“Practice Mindful Consumption,”

appreciation in, 210–11

113–14

ends of, 211, 12

“Practice Mindfulness of Livelihood,”

happiness and, 186–87, 212–13

110

heart and, 185–87

“Practice the Five Remembrances,”

inner dialoguing and, 229–31

105

letting go of, 211

prayer, 67, 70, 71, 188

listening in, 196–201, 202

preparation, in relationships, 188–89,

metta meditation and, 188–94

195–96

overexpectation in, 17–20, 142

preparedness to hear, 227

preparation in, 188–89, 195–96

present moment; presence

skills for, 194–96

in daily life, 81

speech in, 201–207

entering, 104

relaxation, 52

mindfulness and, 24, 32

religion, “getting,” 242

peace in, 1

religious faith, incorporating into

practicing, 8–9 41–42

meditation, 73, 74, 99–100

returning to, 34, 90

remembering vs. reliving, 26

problem solving, 206

remembering who you are, 48

process orientation, 216

remembrances, five, 105

Progoff, Ira, 218, 232

resistance, 49, 70, 193–94

props, for meditation, 55

rest, 83–84, 87

protests, 175

restlessness, 61–63

Psalms, 58, 67

restoring experiences, 25

psychotherapy, 26, 181–82, 208–209,

returning

211, 216

to breath, 64

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returning
(continued)

selfishness, 190

in meditation, 64–65

self-loathing, 190

of peace, 93–94

self-love, 52–53, 189–92

to present moment, 34, 90

self-punishing thoughts, 17

reverence for life, 121

separation, 12, 13–15, 212

right action, 109, 111–15, 208–10

Sermon on the Mount, 99

right concentration, 109

Shadowlands,
103–104

right consumption, 112–15

shadow figures, 142–43

right diligence, 109

Shema meditation, 58

right livelihood, 109–10

“should” statements, 158, 177, 178

right mindfulness, 109

sickness, remembrance of, 104, 105

right speech, 109, 201–207

signs, 133

right thinking, 109

silence, 71, 97

right view, 109

sitting posture, 55

Rinzai Zen, 20–21

sleep, 47, 87, 88, 129

rivers, as dream symbols, 148

sleepiness, during meditation, 63

road rage, 173

slowing down, 82–85, 96, 217

rocking, during meditation, 71

smiling, during meditation, 56

Rogers, Carl, 31, 199

snake, Buddha’s teaching as, 28

Rogers, Peter, 175, 177, 182

social exclusion schema, 165, 16–67

roles, conflicting, 9–11

sounds, during meditation, 54, 55, 71

romantic love, 17–20, 141–42

speech, right, 109, 201–207

roots, finding, 14–16

speed, 83, 217

rules, for spiritual life, 119, 120

“spiritual,” becoming, 28, 126, 242

rushing, 111, 217, 219

spiritual bypassing, 126–27

spirituality, healthy, 118–19

Sabbath, 97

spiritual paths, 242

sadness, 151–52, 155, 159, 233

spiritual practice.
See
practice,

sages, 32, 74

mindfulness

samyak,
109

squares, in dreams, 145

sangha, 73–74, 241

standards, unrelenting, 166

satori, meditation and, 46

Star Trek,
38, 244

saturating life with mindfulness, 81–82

statues, for meditation, 55

schemas, negative, 162–68, 230–31

stillness, 71

schools, as dream symbols, 147

stimulation, 114–15

Schweitzer, Albert, 121

stimulus control, 95

self

stranger rule, 206

dangers of, 118

stream-of-consciousness journaling,

no self vs., 37–41, 187

224–25

preoccupation with, 37–38

struggle

in relationships, 187

acceptance vs., 53

true, 48, 189

giving up, 115–16

war on, 52–53

radical acceptance vs., 35

self-care, 153–54, 168–69, 171–72

with thoughts and feelings, 62

self-distrust, 5

subjugation guilt, 166

self-esteem, 2, 16–17 54

success, 115–16

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looking deeply at, 157–59

avoidance as cause of, 125–27

loop of, 26

clinging as cause of, 125–26

in meditation, 50, 62–63, 68

eightfold path and, 108–12

negative, 17, 26, 106–107, 155,

liberation from, 79

156–61

as teacher, 125

schemas in, 162–68

truth of, 104, 159

self-punishing, 17

sutras, 59

writing down, 159, 160, 161

Suzuki, Shunryu, 49

three jewels of Buddha, 73

symbols, in dreams, 131, 132–33,

Tibetan Buddhism, dreams and, 127

145–49

Tillich, Paul, 99

synchronicity, 148

time

disconnection in, 12–13

“Take Up Your Robe, Sandals, and

for journaling, 217–19, 221

Begging Bowl,” practice, 22

of meditation, 56–57, 76–77

taking refuge, 73–74

traffic lights, 89

Talmud, 125, 131

trance of pain, 26

Tantric Distinction, The
(Hopkins), 185

transformation, 46, 125, 145–46

Tao, 32, 65

Transformation at the Base
(Nhat Hanh),

tasks

45

finding joy in, 92

traumatic experiences, 26

fragmented, 9–11

trees, as dream symbols, 147

taking charge of, 94–96

true face, accepting, 29–30

teachers, 74–75, 119

true self, 48, 189

teaching.
See also
Buddhist teachings

Trungpa, Chögyam, 241

dilemma of, 119–20

truth, 227

missing point of, 28

“Twenty-five Healing Things” practice,

taking refuge in, 73

171–72

“Tea Meditation” practice, 41–42

type A personality, 174

telephones, 89

television, 172, 219

understanding, 199

Testament of Devotion, A
(Kelly), 23

unrelenting standards guilt, 166

tests, as dream symbols, 147

urges, 61

therapy, 26, 181–82, 208–209, 211,

216

vessel for divine light, journaling as,

“Things to Do on a Day of

215–16

Mindfulness” practice, 98–99

vihara, 69

thinking orientation, 45–46

Vilayat Inayat Khan, Pir, 103

thoughts

“Visualize Slowing Down” practice, 85

angry, 176–78

Vivekananda, Swami, 3

depressive distortions in, 157–58,

vulnerability schema, 165

161–62

destructive, 84

walking meditation, 72–73, 80, 171

flow of, 49–50, 62–63

wants, identifying, 209–10

fluidity of, 159, 164

war on self, 52–53

giving space to, 49

water, as dream symbol, 146, 148

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