Finding YOU Finding ME (You & Me Trilogy Book 2)

Finding You
Finding Me

Published by
THE EDGE

THE EDGE is an
imprint of Sparklesoup Inc.

Copyright ©
2013 Kailin Gow

All Rights
Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or
by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, taping or by any information storage or retrieval system, without
the permission in writing from the publisher except in case of brief quotations
embodied in critical articles and reviews.

For
information, please contact:

THE EDGE at Sparklesoup

14252 Culver Dr., A732

Irvine, CA 92604

www.sparklesoup.com

First Edition.

ISBN:
978-1597480543

To
All the Women Who Took Back the Night.

And
the men who love them.

To
all the women who supported this book series and told me to trust my artistic
voice so Sam’s story of being found could be told uncensored and uncut, right
from the start.

Acknowledgements

To
the ladies of Naughty Mafia – Michelle Valentine, Emily Snow, Katie Ashley, Kristen
Proby, and Kelli Maine; thank you for including me in all the mayhem and fun.
We are going to rock Vegas this year.

To
Kendall Ryan, fun times ahead…looking forward to it!

To
Sylvia Day and EL James, thank you for paving the way for indies, especially other
indie authors of romance fiction. Your kindness in sharing your advice and
expertise to us newbies in adult romance fiction is greatly appreciated.

To
all the bloggers and readers who have been so supportive of me and my books,
getting the word out and suggesting my books to friends and family; thank you
from the bottom of my heart. I love each and every one of you!

To
my editors at theEDGEbooks.com, thank you for your patience. I’m working on the
next book as fast as I can!

Prologue

T
here comes a time in life when you have to
make that decision that you know will determine the course of the rest of your
life. Those are the hard decisions buried between the lines of black and white
and hidden so deep within the murky blur of charcoal grey that it takes heavy
scrubbing to uncover the gem within.

Today
was that time for me…the day I go searching for that hidden gem of truth. The
time when I know there was this decision I have to make, that could not be
reversible, a decision that would change who I was and where I was heading.
Black and white. White and black. Crossing the lines would make things grey.
Was I prepared to turn this shade, was I prepared for this change?

My
hands shook as I handed the envelope to the lady at the post office. “How long
will it take to get there?” I asked.

“A
few days,” the friendly-faced Asian woman behind the post office counter said.
“It’s being sent Priority so it will get there faster. Did you need to send it
faster?”

“No,
no,” I said. “That’s soon enough.”

I
hesitated.

The
woman finished stamping the envelope and was about to throw it into the bin
behind her when I shot out my hand to stop her.

“Wait,”
I said. “I changed my mind.”

Startled,
the woman asked. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,”
I nodded. “I’m sure.”

She
handed the thick envelope back to me, which I deposited into my shoulder bag. I
handed her some cash and quickly shot out of there, feeling the need for some
fresh air.

It
was a simple enough act for me to retrieve my envelope, but acknowledging to
myself that I didn’t go through with it was something else entirely.

It
meant that instead of choosing the path I was supposed to take, I chose the
latter. The one that I was not supposed to take, the one that every ounce of my
five foot five frame was scared to death to take…

I
was supposed to mail out that envelope. I was supposed to move on with my life
and follow the rules, like the Valedictorian straight A Pastor’s kid that I
was. The girl who seemed to have it all – a beautiful family, a scholarship to
Stanford, and now a closet full of tapes.

Collins
McGregor’s tapes.

Beautifully
flawed, handsome, and sexy hot beyond belief Collins McGregor’s hidden tapes,
meant only for his eyes. And now mine. The tapes from which I could not tear my
eyes away. The tapes I found myself wanting to be part of, had even began
dreaming about, with me in it, as well as Collins McGregor.

I
shook my head. The mere thought of him had me blushing. Thank God I was already
in my car, flushed with the thoughts of Collins and those tapes. Collins
McGregor had only been away in Europe for a couple of months, opening up a new
subsidiary for his billion dollar entertainment and media enterprise, The
Collins Companies, but it felt like forever. The effects of his last kiss on my
lips from months ago still linger, and I knew deep within me that was one
reason why I didn’t send that envelope.

My
rational side knew I should mail off my response, move on and out so I can
accomplish what my mind had set out to do to achieve the kind of life I had
dreamed of, but my impulsive emotion-laden side didn’t care, reacting quickly
to snatch the envelope back, not caring about the consequences, but only of my
needs. Which at this moment, consisted mostly of food, water, and Collins.

Oh
Collins. I’m as deeply buried in this as you are.

The
thought terrified me. I should be running away from all of it, as Collins
himself told me to do, but since he gave me that key to his safe deposit box
and gave me the choice to back off or to move forward, I couldn’t help wanting
and needing more. I’ve had a taste of Collins McGregor. He’s let me in. He’s
given me his key not only to his safe deposit box, but to his deep dark
secretive world. The world he’s tried to leave behind for me, but couldn’t. I
should back away and run, but I couldn’t. I should cut myself off completely
from Collins, but I can’t.

Something
inside of me called out and craved this part of Collins, something that so
desperately needed this sordidness, as though it was an answer to a deep dark
mystery within that I needed to find. Whatever it was, I couldn’t turn back.
With Collins McGregor, it was either black or white, never anything in between.
No shades of grey here, just a journey from white to black, or was it the other
way around?

*****

I
was halfway to Sawyer House, the teen and young adult crisis center I
volunteered at as a peer counselor when I heard the familiar ringtone on my
phone going off.

Pachelbel’s
Canon in D Major.

It
was familiar, but also a surprise…haven’t been used in weeks.

I
was exhilarated hearing it go off, but nervous at the same time.

I
let it ring for a little while before summoning my strength to answer. “Hi,” I
said, my voice instinctively turning breathy and an octave lower.

“Hi,”
he said in an equally breathy tone. It was as deep, yet soft and velvety as I
remembered. Downright sexy as hell. “Today’s the day,” he said. “Have you
decided, Sam?”

“Yes,”
I said softly. “I have.”

“I’ve
been waiting for months for this,” he said. “I can’t wait any longer.”

“You
don’t have to,” I said. “I watched your tapes. I watched all of it.
Everything.”

There
was a soft gasp at the other end of the phone, one that made my stomach
flutter. Daggers. Soft and vulnerable Daggers. Even in Europe, so far away from
where I was in Newport Beach, California, I can feel his boyish vulnerability,
feel his pain and insecurity. By giving me those tapes, by trusting me with
them, he had opened himself widely to me. He had opened up and cut through all
the deep layers within him, the many layers that made up the beautiful and
powerful, but deeply pained man that he was. It was not an easy thing for him
to do, and no matter what my answer would be, I would always appreciate Collins
for trusting me with his secret.

He didn’t say
anything for a while.

I didn’t say
anything for a while. It would take a lot for me to make the next move and
answer him, but it was something I had to do for him, and for me.

“I,”
I started. “I’m not going.”

“You’re
not going?” he asked.

“No,
Collins, I’m not.”

“It’s
what you dreamed of,” he said.

“Still
dreamed of,” I said, “but some things are better left there.”

“You
should go, you know,” he said.

“I’ve
decided not to,” I said.

“Why?”
he asked. “I thought you’ve always wanted to go to Stanford.”

“Things
change,” I said quickly.

“So
you don’t need the scholarship,” he said.

“No,”
I answered. “I’m not taking it. Nor am I taking your money.”

“Sam,”
Collins tone changed immediately. Harsher, more insistent. “You’ll need it for
whatever you decide to go into. It’s yours to keep.”

I swallowed.
Collins was being so generous right now and I never would take advantage of
that generosity. “No, I’m not taking it, Collins.”

“If
you’re not taking it, then I assume you’re agreeing to the other condition of
my proposition,” he said in all seriousness but with a hint of wicked amusement
in his voice.

“I’ve
seen your tapes, Collins,” I said, barely a whisper, “and I can’t seem to stop
thinking about it and about you.”

Another
gasp, but this time, deeper and more in charge. “Sam, you do know what you’re
getting into, don’t you?”

“Yes,”
I said, feeling an inferno of heat shoot through me as I answered him.

“And
you still want to be with me…after this discovery?”

“Yes,”
I said again, feeling bolder from hearing his voice, as if hypnotized.

“Then,
Samantha Sullivan, my dear sweet girl,” Collins said. “I can’t wait to see you
in an hour.”

Chapter
1

            “
A
n hour?” I protested. “But you’re in Europe.”

            “Apparently
I’m not,” Collins said. “I didn’t forget today was the day. Believe it or not,
Sam, I would make a special return flight home just to hear your decision
whispered into my ears in person. Clear your schedule, Sam. I’ll be at your
house in about an hour.”

            “But
I have to be at Sawyer House,” I said. “I’m training a new counselor today.”

            “Have
you taken the place of that man boy as trainer?” Collins asked, slightly
amused. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you do, Sam.”

            “Derek,”
I said. “No, I won’t be replacing him,” I smiled into the phone, thinking about
the handsome trainer at Sawyer House who quickly became my friend months ago
and had become my closest friend in the last couple of months since Collins
left. A psychology major at the University of California at Irvine, he had
taken me under his wings, at Sawyer House, training me and giving me advice on
some of the social situations that came up there during the intense calls. Just
a couple of years older than I, but more experienced and worldly than I was
because of his college experience and upbringing, being raised by a single
mother in a rougher part of town, he also tried to show me a little more of the
world. Given how sheltered I was because of my upbringing, it opened my eyes a
bit. But when it came to knowing everything about the world and its hidden
riches and secrets, no one was like Collins McGregor…my beautiful, but raw and
edgy billionaire boy wonder/former lover.