Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2) (11 page)

33

JADE

I leaned forward
on my knees and let out a gasping breath. My lungs felt like they were protesting; my ribs felt like they were breaking. I was grateful for my hair falling over my shoulder like a curtain that shielded me from scrutiny.

”
That was better.” Giovanni was circling me.

“
Sure it was.”

“
It was. You actually hit me that time.” I could hear the smug smirk on his face.

I could hear the step of his boots on the snow circling me.
“Next time, you just have to...” his words bit off and I tried to look up to spot him to see if he was sensing danger coming. He was standing to my right and staring at me.

“
If you are trying to check out my ass, then you aren’t really in the right spot,” I joked, breathlessly.

He didn
’t smile. His gaze didn’t even falter from the spot he was staring at. I looked at my shoulder and saw nothing. “What are you looking at?”

He didn
’t answer. Instead, he yanked me up to my feet by my arm and forcefully pivoted me around so my back was to him. He lifted up my hair, his large hands grazing the back of my neck. I felt a shiver steal down my spine and wanted to curse myself aloud for it. I stood straighter and clenched my jaw. He leaned down, inspecting something on my neck, and just below my hairline. His fingertips traced something, and then I felt him... his heat rose to a boiling rage. I stepped away before the explosion. He roared a growl and whipped his sword clean through a tall barren tree slicing it in half. The sound of it falling was a slow, cracking sound and I had plenty of time to get out of the way. The snap against the ground felt like it sent a slight vibration up through my feet and calves. Dazed, I spun toward Giovanni and the stump he was bracing himself on. His shoulders were rising and falling as if he was inflating and deflating. I was afraid to break the silence, but I had to ask. “What—what is wrong?” I asked, stunned. “What did you see?”

“
I—I saw.” His words clipped off and it was one of those rare moments where Giovanni seemed flustered and unsure. He shook his head and yanked the sword out of the stump he had stabbed with it and turned around. Desperation. Rage. Uncertainty. All flashed across his expression.

Again
, I asked, “What did you see?” I raised my hand to touch just under my hairline. He was quick to stride forward and grab my wrist. I could see the trained calm and authoritative mask slide back over his features. “I didn’t see anything.” With a rough shove, he flung my wrist back towards me and stalked off. “Let’s go. We, have to find a place to camp before sundown.”

“
But I—”

“
Let’s go!” The finality in his voice left little room for hesitation.

I snatched up my things and followed him. Not before, however, I snuck my fingertips to the back of my neck and felt the slight raised ridges of something etched there. I gasped quietly.

What was it? And why did Giovanni not want me to see it? And why did he become so enraged when he did?

I couldn
’t ask any of those questions, but with every step I searched for a possible answer. And with every step, I didn’t find not one.

It wasn
’t until later when I was lost in dreams that I found it. And it all started with his warm and tender voice and the words:

“
Do you know how much I love you?”

34

CONNOR

“Do you know
how much I love you?”

Jade slyly looked up at me from under a dark fan of long lashes, her brilliant green eyes sparkling.
“Why don’t you show me?”

Exhilaration was already pulsing through me like a heartbeat, banging against every nerve like a drum. It was too much
for to me to be delicate, or soft with her, too much to tentatively touch her like I always had.

“
Maybe I will,” I grinned. I wasn’t sure what she would do. Push me away? I didn’t care. In a swift motion, I pushed her back against the wall and my lips were on hers. The first taste of her was intoxicating, and I needed more. So much more. I deepened the kiss, feeling her gasp under my lips, her tongue reaching back to touch mine. I was gasping too. Her fingers twined in my shirt, scratching my back only slightly, edging me on more. I moaned against her lips. She looked up at me, her lips ripe and swollen. They were so pink and delicious that I leaned down to taste them again. She was teasing me, letting me in for a quick kiss, then turning her head just to come back and nip at my lower lip. I ached for more of her. I craved to kiss her until there was no more oxygen in the world to gasp in. She let out a little giggle, and it sent a shudder of pleasure through me. I sighed, lifting my arms to bracket her in, not let her get away. She was mine now. All mine. I nuzzled her ear and kissed her neck—slow and deliberate. Her breath caught and I felt her heartbeat stutter and quicken as if it was fervently trying to get away. I smiled against her skin and kissed her again, letting my lips travel lower and lower. To her collarbone, down her shoulder. I hesitated as I leaned in to kiss just above the neckline of her shirt. I didn’t want to scare her away or overstep.

I didn
’t want her to move from within the little cage I had made for her between my arms. I must have hesitated too long, because she lifted my chin up and looked into my eyes. They searched me exploratory, studying the way my mouth was slightly open, the swallow of my throat, the way my shoulders rose and fell with my desperate, deep breaths. And she kissed me. She pressed against me, pushing me back. Her fingertips grazed the skin beneath my shirt, just above my jean’s waist button. “Jade, I—” I stammered as her fingers traced upwards and touched the muscles that were clenched along my torso, the expanse of my chest, curling and tracing at the base of my throat. She pulled off my shirt and I lifted my arms to let her do it. Before my shirt even touched the ground, her lips were on my chest kissing me. I let me head fall back and close my eyes. Her kisses were tender and sweet, but the jolt of desire that shot through me every time her lips touched my skin was not sweet or tender. No, it was primal, desperate and aching, and a pure storm of want and desire. I groaned and then tipped her face back up to mine. “Do you love me?” I asked. I held my breath, devastated and ashamed that I even asked. Why did I have to ruin this moment? Why didn’t I just shut the hell up. Her fingertips were still tracing lines along my chest. Her lips slowly edged their way up into a smirk and I wanted to kiss her again and forget the question, but then she started to speak. “Oh, Connor...I—”

Wind gust into my bedroom and I flinched awake, flailing and falling out of bed. It took me a second to realize that I was in my room alone. It took me
another second to realize that every touch, kiss and word that I had been clinging to was just a dream. Another icy chill blew into my room from the open window. I lifted my head and stared at it. I thought I had closed it before going to bed. I rolled up to my feet, my blanket tangling up my legs. I let out a shaky sigh and walked over to close it. I could almost still feel the warmth of Jade’s skin against mine. The shadow of the ache and want was still thrumming inside me. I could feel the heat rushing up to my cheeks as if someone could see the thoughts in my head. Even so, I replayed them as I locked the window and got back into bed pulling the covers over me. I replayed them and drifted back to sleep hoping the dream would continue and I would get to hear what Jade had to say. Even if it was a dream, I wanted to hear the words. Even if it was a dream, I loved the feeling of her being mine.

“
Everything all right?” Mom asked as I came down the stairs. I groggily nodded, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I wondered why she asked at first, but then I realized that it was because I was smiling. Even as I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. “Yeah, I slept well,” I lied. I slept terribly. I kept waking up, the dream jolting to a stop right along with Jade’s last words. “Oh, Connor...I—” The frustration grew each time, but it couldn’t quite match the giddy intoxicating feeling of dreams with so much touching, so much kissing, so much Jade against me. I grabbed a cereal bowl, and a box of cereal and the milk, and sat down at the table. I poured everything, letting the cereal drown in the milk, and as I chewed, I still was grinning. I could see my mom’s worried face from my peripheral vision. She had no clue what was going on.

It was then that I felt it, something quick and strong and familiar invading my mind in a flash, just to settle quietly there.

Well, that was some dream.

The milk and cereal came spitting out of my mouth as I flinched back knocking the cereal bowl over, spilling milk everywhere.

“Oh, my gosh, honey, what happened?”

Mom
probably thought I was epileptic with the amount of flailing I’d been doing. “I’m fine, Mom. I just... saw a bee.” How lame was that. She looked around the kitchen, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t see...”

I heard a sweet giggle in my mind and I immediately flushed red. I heard that exact giggle in my mind last night
; and just the thought of it sent a little shudder through me. I swallowed hard, painfully aware of the girl in my head and the one outside it, both looking in and staring as I cleaned up spilled Cheerios. “Hey, Mom, aren’t you going somewhere today?”

“
Yes, I need to go into New Orleans today. I actually was going to leave in a minute, but do you need help?” She started to kneel down and her eyes became intense. “Do you need me to stay?”

“
No!” I barked and her eyes grew wide. “No,” I said softer, “just go ahead. I got this. I am just getting clumsier with old age.”

“
You sure? You sure you feel all right?”

“
Yeah.”

Mom left the room reluctantly and I toweled up the rest of the milk. I was holding my breath waiting for Jade to say something.
“I—uh—good morning.”

“
Good morning, lover boy.”

I was shaking.
“I can’t believe it! I can hear you!”

“
I know! I have no idea how it happened. I thought I was going crazy...”

“
No! No. Nanan, Matt and I found a way to link me to you so we could figure out if you were all right.”

“
Freezing my ass off, but all right,”
she
said. “Are you okay?”

“
Yeah... just dealing.”

“
Connor, you have to believe me. I didn’t want to leave you. I was so worried about you and I know that a note would never be able to explain everything...”

I narrowed my eyes at my new bowl of
Cheerios, concentrating. I could feel a headache building. “What note?”

“
I—I left you a note... about why I had to leave and... how I felt.”

I clenched my jaw.
“I never got a note.”

There was silence.

“Jade?”

“
I am so sorry. You must hate me.”

My answer was quick.
“Never... I will never hate you.”

I could hear a little laugh in my head.
“Actually, I believe you. I don’t think that a dream like that would be for someone you hated.”

I blushed.
“So, you are spying in on my dreams, huh?”

“
No, somehow... I dreamed it too. It took me a little while until I realized the dream wasn’t mine. It took me a little while for me to realize it was yours.”

“
How did you know that?” I asked, trying to see if there was a way to wiggle out of oh-yeah-I’m-a-pervert or sure-all-I-am-doing-is-sitting-around-having-wet-dreams while you’re away; although, I was proud to say that my sheets were dry and clean this when I awoke.

“
It was all from your perspective.”

I paused over the kitchen sink and held my breath. I would have been perfectly fine with blipping out of existence or melting into a sloppy mess on the floor, but instead
, I said, “I guess, I miss you.”

“
Apparently
.” I could hear the lightness in her voice. It made me feel like I wasn’t about to be evicted from her mind. I wasn’t sure if she was amused or...
“I miss you too.”

I let out my breath.
“Um, I’m sorry... about the dream.”

There was only a pause for a moment.
“Don’t be
,” she said, and then as if I could feel her sigh in my mind, she added,
“I just wish it were real.”

My eyes blinked open wide and I felt a spike of exhilaration stab into me.
“You wish it were real?” I clarified, making sure I heard her right and didn’t invent the words in my head.

“
Yes, I wish I was there with you and not here... alone.”

“
You are alone? What about Lynx?”

“
Lynx was taken by Lilith, my mother. That’s why we had to leave... they took him, Connor. They. Took. Him.”
I could hear the shaking in her voice.

“
Oh Jade, I am so sorry... I wish you weren’t alone. I wish—”

“
Technically, I’m not. It just feels like it...”

“
Technically?” I blinked.

“
The angel that came to the lake. He is with me.”

I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to remember. The angel. There was Dominic and then there was that pale, blue-eyed guy... he was an angel?
“An angel? I don’t remember seeing wings on this ‘angel’.”

Jade
’s voice seemed strangely uneven.
“He doesn’t reveal them often. He keeps them tucked away.”
I wondered what else he did or didn’t keep ‘tucked away’. I bit my lip realizing there were bigger problems going on.

Jade giggled.
“You are cute when you are jealous. He doesn’t count, though. Seriously, I think he adds to my loneliness factor. It is hard to hear how I am the daughter of Hell and weak, or failing on a regular basis.”

My brow furrowed at this
; although, I couldn’t help perking up at the idea that she’d rather be with me than some otherworldly guy. I only saw him for a few moments in the woods, but I could have sworn I had seen those blue eyes staring into my window one night before. “Then, then why is he with you?”

“
He’s my guardian and guide. He’s training me to fight. Connor... war is coming.”

“
I know. Matt and I have been decoding the prophesies. We are trying to figure out a way to free you from Dejanira.”

“
Free me?”
Jade asked and then repeated as if she was settling into the thought and holding it tight.
“Free me.”

“
Where are you?”

There was a pause.
“I—I am not sure. North I think.”

“
Well, that narrows it down.” Desperation leapt up within me. If she could tell me where she was, I could just go and find her. “Can’t you give me any details to go on?”

“
I wish I could. Giovanni and I have stuck to the woods
. We
rarely even get within earshot of a road. Giovanni says that it’s too dangerous to risk being seen.”

I grumbled nonsensically.
“There is a way, you know. A way to portal to you,” I said at last. “I am trying to figure it out.”

“
Don’t!”
I flinched at her shout.

“
Don’t?”

“
I
—
I don’t want you to get hurt, Connor. I want you to stay safe.”

“
Honestly, if the world is about to combust, then there really isn’t anywhere to be safe,” I said it lightly, trying to pull a joke, but her silence turned into a shiver that rattled my bones. “I am sorry, Jade. I wasn’t trying...”

“
Connor... I have to go. Be safe...”

“
Jade, no, Jade, wait!”

“
We are about to get moving again and I can’t concentrate enough to move and speak with you.”

“
Jade, I am sorry...”

“
Don’t be. You are right. Figure out what
you can...and keep me posted. If I get any clues, I will tell you
.”