Fire With Fire (32 page)

I smile and click my phone shut. I look around for Alex
and spot him over by the bar, leaning against the corner, sipping something brown from a glass. He lifts his glass to me
and I laugh. I can’t help it. He’s wearing a button-down and
suspenders and a hat his mom must have found him. He looks
adorable.

He makes his way through the crowd over to where I’m standing. As he walks, I see him reach for something inside his pants
pocket.

“You left my house before I could give you your present the
other night.” He comes up next to me and holds out his hand. In
his palm is a small orange box with a narrow brown ribbon tied
around it. The ribbon says
Hermès
.

I can’t believe it.
Alex puts the box in my hands. “Open it, Lil.”
I untie the ribbon and open the box. It’s the bracelet I wanted,

the one I saw in Boston. White, enamel, perfect. “Alex, this is way
too expensive! I can’t accept this.”
“You said you wanted it, remember?”
“I know, but . . .”
He smiles, pleased. “So I want you to have it.” Alex takes the
bracelet out of the box and puts it on my wrist.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because . . . it’s too much.”
“Don’t worry about that. I used the money my grandma
gave me for a new guitar.” Alex shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. About
that weekend in Boston.”
I give him a quick, nervous nod.
“If . . .” He looks down, and then back at me again. “Remember
when we went on that walk, in the snow? If I would have tried to
kiss you that night, would you have let me?”
My mind flashes back to that night. How beautiful it was, in
snowy Boston. How I felt so safe with Alex. How easy it was with
him, especially compared to Reeve.
I think I would have. Maybe.
I’m about to tell him so, but then everything falls away and goes
to static because over Alex’s shoulder, across the room, I see him.
Reeve. On the couch, next to a girl who at first I think is Rennie,
but then see is not. She’s a sophomore; I think her name is Kendall.
He’s wearing the outfit we bought together. He looks so good it
makes me feel sick. She’s wearing a feather boa around her neck,
and he keeps playing with it.
Our eyes meet, and then deliberately he looks away. He says
something in Kendall’s ear and puts his hat on her head, and then
she scoots onto his lap. I can feel all the blood rush to my face.
I break away from Alex. “I have to go.”
Alex’s face falls. “Are you not even going to answer my question?”
“I . . . I can’t right now.”
I look over at Reeve again; I can’t help it. He catches my eye,
takes a big sip of his drink, and then he puts his hand on Kendall’s
thigh.
I have to get out of here. I start backing up, pushing people out
of my way.
I stumble toward the hallway. Then Reeve pops up in front of
me, blocking my way with his arm. “Excuse me,” I say icily.
“Oh, so we’re still not speaking?” Reeve oh-so-casually crosses
his arms and leans against the hallway wall.
I glare at him. “Why would we need to speak? We don’t even
like each other, remember?”
Reeve gives me a condescending smile, like I’m just a silly
girl and he’s so mature and above it all. I try to push past him
again, hard, and his smile drops. He says, “Look, I was pissed
that you blew me off, but I’m over it now, so you don’t have to
run away every time you see me. I won’t bother you anymore.
It’s cool.”
“Awesome,” I say.
Reeve reaches out and touches the bracelet on my wrist. “Nice
bracelet,” he says.
I know he’s being insincere, but I still say, “Thank you.”
With a smirk he adds, “Lind must have worked really hard to
save up for that for you.”
“He did.” I should smile and leave it at that, but I can’t resist
adding, “Classy of you to be talking to another girl at Rennie’s
party.” I throw a pointed look in Kendall’s direction. “Or are
you and Ren already over? Why am I not the least bit surprised?
How very Reeve of you, already on to the next.” I’d assumed
the reason Rennie invited me to her party was so that she could
flaunt her relationship with Reeve in my face. But maybe not.
Maybe they’re over and done with too. Without Reeve in the
mix, Rennie has no reason to hate me.
Reeve’s not smiling anymore, and I know I’m getting under his
skin. “Like I said a million times, Rennie and I are friends.”
“Oh yeah? Is that what friends do? Have sleepovers? Cuddle
in your bedroom together?”
Reeve puts up his hands. “Believe what you want. I don’t care.”
“I’m believing what she told me, you dummy. I saw her at your
house! She was more than happy to throw it in my face.”
“When?” he demands.
“That day. The day of your family’s open house.”
Reeve jerks in surprise. “You came?”
I look around and spot Rennie in the crowd, surrounded by
guys from the football team. So she didn’t tell him I came by. Big
surprise. Not that it makes a difference. It’s all over and done
with now.
I shrug. “Yeah, I stopped by. Rennie told me you didn’t want
to see me, so I left.”
Reeve’s staring at me. “Are you serious right now? You came
to my house?”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” I say, and I try to duck under his arm to
get past him.
But he backs up and blocks me again. “Wait! Look, I don’t
know what Rennie said to you, but I spent the whole day alone
in my room, pissed at you for bailing on me. I wanted you there,
Lil. Only you.”
For a second I close my eyes, and then I open them again. “It
doesn’t matter anymore.”
Which is when Kendall makes her way over to us and says,
“Hey, Lillia. What’s up?” She puts her head on Reeve’s shoulder,
which he tries to shrug off.
“Hey,” I say. I’ve got my eye on the front door. There’s a
line of people coming into the party now, so I can’t get out
through the front. I’ll just go out through the back. I flash
a quick smile at Kendall and say, “Have fun, you two!” and
squeeze past them both.
I’m halfway down the hallway when I hear Reeve coming up
behind me, calling my name. He yells out, “You still like me. I
know you do. So I reject our breakup on the grounds that this is a
bullshit misunderstanding.”
I stop and turn around and face him. “We’re not broken up,
because we were never together.”
“You like me! Admit it, Cho.”
“I do not!” God, I hope Kat and Mary aren’t here yet. If they
see us like this, they’ll want to start the ruse up again. I can’t do it
anymore. So I say it again, more calmly. “Reeve, I don’t like you.”
“Yes. You. Do.” Reeve takes my hand, and I try to pull it away,
but this time he won’t let go. “You like me, and I like you. So can
we just—can we stop with the games and be together already?”
He pulls me closer and closer to him until we’re close enough to
kiss. “It doesn’t have to be this hard, you know.”
“What about your girl Kendall?” I challenge.
He makes a dismissive sound. “I was talking to her to make
you jealous. It worked, too.”
I’m about to deny it when suddenly he cups his hands to my
face and kisses me. I try to resist for like a second, and then I kiss
him back. My hand snakes around his neck to pull him closer, and
his hair feels so soft against my fingertips.
Then I hear a gasp. I break away from Reeve, whose arms are
cradling me against the wall.
“What the fuck?” It’s Rennie, standing at the other end of the
hallway, staring at us. Stunned. She points at me, her arm shaking.
“You’re so done, bitch.”
Reeve turns around and sees her and says, “Hold up, Ren.”
She backs away from us, into the kitchen. I follow her, with
Reeve at my heels. “Rennie . . . ,” I start to say.
She spins around, pushes me to the side, and pounds her
fists on Reeve’s chest. “You picked
her
over
me
?” Rennie lets
out an angry sob and steps away from him. “She’s not who
you think she is, Reeve. Sweet, innocent Lillia? What a freaking
joke. She’s a slut.”
“Don’t talk about her like that,” Reeve warns.
Rennie ignores him and advances toward me. “I let you be my
little shadow, I took you under my wing, and I basically made
you!” Rennie’s whole body is trembling with rage. “You would
be
nobody
if it weren’t for me.”
Reeve tries to get in between us. “Ren, stop it. Lillia didn’t steal
me, so don’t put the blame on her. You know I love you, you
know I do. But it was never gonna be like that with us.”
“Don’t you dare defend her to me!” Rennie screams, whirling
on him. “You can’t see her for what she really is!”
I take a raggedy breath and step toward her. “Rennie, you’ve
got it backward. You’re the one who’s always wanted what I have,
not the other way around. Our whole lives, you’ve been jealous
because I have what you want.”
Her mouth twists into a sneer. “I can’t believe this. I can’t even
believe you’re turning this around on me right now.”
I wet my lips. “You know what? I think that on some level you
were glad about what happened that night with those guys.”
Rennie’s eyes dart over to Reeve and then back to me.
“Shut up,” she warns. “Don’t say another word.”
“I think you were glad because it brought me down to your
level,” I say, my voice shaking. “I wasn’t innocent Lillia anymore.
I wasn’t a princess, or a virgin. I wasn’t special. I was like you.
Both of us damaged goods.”
Rennie’s hand strikes lightning fast, slapping my cheek so hard
I rock back onto my heels and almost fall. Reeve yells, “What the
hell, Ren!” And he pulls me away from her and stands between us.
Black tears run down her face. “She doesn’t care about you!
Trust me.”
I shake my head over and over. I’m crying now too. “That’s not
true.” Despite everything I’ve done, that isn’t true.
A guy in suspenders stumbles into the kitchen and says,
“Whoops, I thought this was the bathroom.”
“Get out!” Rennie screams, and the guy runs off. As soon as
he’s gone, Rennie starts up again, advancing on me this time. “I’m
telling you, she’s not who you think she is, Reeve. She’s an evil,
lying bitch.” She takes a deep, satisfied breath. “And I have proof!”
Oh my God. Oh. My. God.
I feel dizzy. Rennie knows. She knows what I did at homecoming. But how?
“Reeve, please go,” I beg, trying to push him out of the room.
“Just go.” I’m pushing with all my might, but he won’t budge.
Her face is bright red. “You could have killed him!”
“Please, Reeve!” I’m begging, trying to steer him toward the
door.
Reeve stands there like a statue, his arms crossed. “What are
you talking about?”
Rennie sobs to him, “I’m the
only one
who’s been there for
you. After you got hurt, nobody gave a shit about you but me. I
was the one who was at the hospital every day. That’s how much
I care about you.”
The muscle in Reeve’s jaw twitches. Stonily he says, “If you
cared that much, you would have told me that Lil came by the day
of my open house. But you didn’t. You saw how upset I was, but
you said nothing.” To me he says, “Let’s go.”
Desperately Rennie cries, “Wait! Wait.” She stumbles in her
heels and straightens up again. “I was going to drop this bomb
at midnight, but screw it.” She doesn’t take her eyes off me as she
says, “Lillia drugged you at homecoming. She put something in
your drink. I found a picture of her doing it!”
Everything goes slow-motion for me. As I turn my head to
look at Reeve, I feel like I’m underwater.
Rennie is panting. Waiting for Reeve to say something. “Let
me show you the photo. I’ll show you. I’m not lying, Reeve! I’ve
never lied to you.” She smirks at me. “Guess what, Lil? Your
perfect life is over. You’re going to jail, you stupid bitch.”
It’s over. I’m done for. Reeve, my friends, my whole entire life
is ruined.
Reeve’s face is expressionless. He doesn’t look at me. Then, in a
low, measured voice, he says to Rennie, “I don’t need your proof.
I already know what happened at homecoming.”
“What?”
“It was a stupid joke that went wrong. She wasn’t trying to hurt
me. So drop whatever shit you were planning and leave it alone.
I’m serious, Ren. If you ever want to see me again, you’ll drop this
right now.” He holds out his hand to me. “Come on, Lil.”
“Reevie, no!” Rennie cries. “Please!” I let him take my hand
and lead me out of the kitchen and down the hallway where people
are crowding around. They stare at us as Reeve pushes through to
make a path for me. I see Alex in the crowd of people, and I have
to look away.
When we’re outside on the street I say, hiccupping, “I forgot
my coat.”
“Stay here. I’ll get it.” He shoulders his way back inside, and
I’m left alone with the bouncer, who’s smoking a cigarette.
He eyes me. “Damn. Did you get into a girl fight?”
I touch my cheek. It feels warm and pulsey against my hand.
“Sort of. But it’s over now.”
CHAP
TER SIX
T
Y

I swirl the inch of whiskey in my tumbler, and
the ice cube clinks against the glass and slowly, slowly dilutes
the amber into honey. I take a small sip and it burns the back
of my throat in the way that only primo-quality whiskey can.

The DJ goes from a popular rap song to a snappy old jazz
tune. He’s been mixing it up like that since I got here twenty
minutes ago. It’s weird but it works. The kids who are grinding on each other on the dance floor transition into more
jaunty shakes and shivers, and it turns the crackly song into
something sexy and current. I nod my head to the beat, smile,
and take another sip.

I have to admit it. The New Year’s Eve party is as epic as
Ren promised it’d be. Which is saying something, because I’ve
been burned plenty of times by Rennie’s overhype. Once, when
we were eight, she made a big deal about inviting me to spend
the weekend at her grandma’s “summer home on the river.”
It turned out to be a retirement community on the edge of a
sludgy creek. We both got ringworm when we held our noses
and waded in up to our ankles in a case of double-dog dare.

I remembered that weekend while I was getting ready
tonight. It felt good to focus on something nice from back in
the day and not completely totally hate Rennie with all my
being. I’m not forgiving her for the shit she put me through.
I can’t flip the switch like that, even if I wanted to. But I definitely prefer a scab to a bleeding wound.