Fireflies From Heaven
Read Fireflies From Heaven Online
Authors: Rebecca Julia Lauren
Fireflies From Heaven
Rebecca Lauren
Text copyright © 2014 Rebecca Lauren
All Rights Reserved
Cover Design by Melody Simmons of eBookindiecovers
This book is dedicated to my husband and daughter for their
love and support while I worked to bring life to my characters. I love you
both.
When I was four-years-old
my parents took me to one of those pop up carnivals, and I was over the moon
because I’d spent the day having a blast on rides, playing games, and eating
junk food like cotton candy and snow cones. My dad must have thrown at least a
couple dozen hoops before he finally landed one around a bottle and won a huge,
sparkly red balloon.
We were making
our way toward our car when I saw a little boy crying and my happiness vanished,
and I felt like crying with him.
Tears dripped down the boy’s chin and onto his green and white striped
shirt as he stared hopelessly toward the sky at a blue balloon that was heading
for heaven.
I didn’t stop to think
before handing him my own treasured balloon.
For a second he seemed stunned, and then
he smiled at me.
The boy’s mom
looked relieved and thanked me for the balloon and my kindness.
My own parents looked concerned.
I guess they were worried I’d regret
giving away the prized balloon, but I never did.
It still warms my heart to remember the
little boy clutching my balloon in his fist and looking back at me with a grateful
smile.
Two years later
I was playing at the park when I saw some kids throwing rocks at something they
were circled around.
I ran straight
for them and pushed my way into the circle and saw a big dog crouched down, his
brownish-black fur matted with dirt and rocks.
His head was buried pitifully in a patch
of clovers, as if trying to hide himself, and his eyes were closed.
“Leave him
alone!” I cried, moving between the kids and the scared dog.
“Maybe we
should use you as target practice instead,” one of the boys laughed. His
friends laughed too.
“Good one
Austin! Neither one of them has any friends,” a girl said maliciously. I’d seen
her before at school, and I think her name was Caitlin. “Both of you are
losers!” Caitlin shouted.
“We are not!” I
shot back. “My dad is a police officer and if you don’t leave the dog alone,
I’ll get him.
It’s against the law
to be mean to animals.”
“They are
losers,” Austin agreed, but he looked uncertain. “Let’s go,” he told his
friends.
I stood my
ground until they were gone, my heart thundering wildly against my chest. Relieved,
I turned back to the trembling dog and found his big, brown eyes fastened on
me. I took a step toward him and the dog cowered.
“It’s okay, I
won’t hurt you,” I said softly.
The dog didn’t
look like he believed me and I guess I understood the mistrust.
Daring a step closer, I crouched and
slowly reached my hand out for him to sniff.
Then I gently stroked his head.
When Mama said
it was time to go, I wanted to cry. I wasn’t sure the threat of calling my dad
would be enough to stop the kids from picking on the dog once I was gone.
I wished I could take him with me,
but I knew I couldn’t ask it of mama.
She’d been sick a lot lately and Dad was working extra-jobs to pay
bills.
Even at six I knew dogs cost
a lot of money.
Sadly, I left my
new friend.
The next
morning I heard my dad yelling, “Shoo!”
I ran out the
front door and onto the porch and saw my dog lying loyally beside one of the
shoes I’d worn to the park the day before.
“Ellie get
back!” my dad shouted, jumping forward and shoving me behind him.
“It’s okay Dad.
He’s my friend.”
I told my dad
the story of how I’d met the dog.
He talked it over with my mom and I was surprised and overjoyed that
they let me keep the dog.
I named
him Jack, and he followed me everywhere he was allowed, slept in my bed and
became my very best friend.
Mama said I had
the gift of empathy because I could feel the sadness of others like it was my
own.
She said I’d have to be
careful not to drown in an ocean of someone else’s pain.
I wasn’t exactly sure I understood what
she meant, but I loved her and it seemed to please her when I promised her I’d
never do that.
Not too long
after Jack came to live with us, mama got even sicker. I knew something was
terribly wrong even before she told me that she was going to go to heaven and
see Nana and Grandpa, and that she’d be like an angel watching over me always.
I wanted to
break down and cry, to scream and beg her to stay with me because I needed her,
but I knew that my outburst would only make her sadder so I smiled and told her
I loved her and that I understood.
Mama looked me
in the eyes, touched my cheek with her frail hand and said to me, “It’s okay to
cry and be mad.
You don’t have to
pretend with me, Ellie.”
I lowered my
head to her chest and wept while she stroked my hair.
“I love you so
much,” I whispered.
“You don’t ever
have to feel alone, Ellie. I told you I’d watch over you and I’ll keep my
promise.”
I looked up at
Mama. “How will I know you’re there?”
She seemed to
think about the question for a moment, and I felt guilty for stealing what
little strength she had left. “When you’re happy I’ll be the sun that shines
down on your face and warms your skin.
If you’re sad or afraid I’ll cry so many tears that there’ll be a storm
in heaven, and when the raindrops fall from the sky you’ll know that it’s
me.
When you come to a crossroads
and don’t know what to do look outside on a grassy bank just before sunset and
you’ll see a million fireflies from heaven lighting your way.”
After Mama was
gone, I closed myself off to others as a means of self- preservation. I didn’t
have any friends in school.
The
other kids thought I was weird or stuck up, and teachers thought I was shy.
I still didn’t know exactly what leukemia
was, but I knew that I hated it because it had taken Mama away from me.
Our joy had
died along with her, and Dad and I didn’t really know how to go on with just
the two of us.
We survived day by
day, ate a lot of fast food and never laughed anymore.
Dad cried at night, but he did it
quietly and he didn’t know that I heard him.
We were broken.
It was sometime
during the year after Mama died that I realized it would have broken her heart
to see Dad and I miserable.
We had
to go on and try to be happy, if not for us then we’d have to do it for Mama
because I had no doubt that she was watching from heaven.
I shared this with my dad.
He gathered me in his arms and
apologized.
He also agreed with me
and from that day forward, we did our best to make things right.
After this
epiphany, I met my best friend Cora.
Dad started to smile every once in a while, and we bought a cookbook.
Together we learned to cook something
without setting off the smoke alarm—that only happened twice.
Dad discovered he liked cooking, but after
turning his underwear and t-shirts pink we both decided that I’d take over the
laundry. We learned to be happy again, and I knew that Mama was looking down
from heaven and smiling at us.
Holidays were
difficult.
Most of those were spent
with me and Dad and Cora, whose mom wasn’t home a lot. I knew something wasn’t
right about Cora’s mom but it made Cora sad, so I tried not to mention her
mother. Luckily, Cora loved spending time with Dad and I, and we loved her as
well.
Sometimes we’d
visit Uncle Jonathon, Aunt Lacy and my cousin Brooke, but not too often because
my great-grandparents didn’t like my dad.
When Mama and Uncle Jonathon were eight their parents had been killed in
a car crash, and they’d gone to live with their grandparents who were strict and
had little tolerance for my mom and dad’s teenage love affair.
I’d never met
my great-grandparents even though they’d been at Mama’s funeral, which I barely
remember. They’d disowned Mama after she’d gotten pregnant at eighteen then
eloped with my dad. Apparently, the still held a grudge against us.
The years
slipped by with laughter and mishaps.
When I was
thirteen my red-faced, uncomfortable-looking dad sat me down for the sex talk,
and I think he’d never missed Mama more than he did at that moment.
It was embarrassing for both of us, and
I know he was thankful that I wasn’t boy-crazy like many girls my age.
I spent most of
my high school years studying, volunteering at the hospital and hanging out
with Cora. Unlike me, Cora was always crushing on a boy but she never did anything
about it except doodle the boy’s name in her notebook and gush to me about how
hot he was.
Her longest and
most memorable crush was when we were freshman in high-school and she fell
hopelessly in love with Reed Bentley, a senior with a gorgeous girlfriend,
Amber Foster, who happened to be a popular cheerleader.
Cora was so
embarrassingly obvious in her devotion to Reed that the kids at school made fun
of her behind her back.
I was always
defending her and praying she never realized how cruel some of the kids could
be.
Cora pretended she didn’t care
what other people thought of her, but I knew that she was one of the kindest
souls I’d ever met and she covered up a lot with quick-witted, sometimes sarcastic
remarks. If she noticed the gossip about her, she chose to ignore it.
I envied Cora
for her courage, and I wished that I only saw the best in people, but I was agonizingly
aware of how unjust things could be if you were born different, didn’t have as
much money, or weren’t as popular as the other kids.
Luckily, Cora
had amazing taste in guys because not only did Reed Bentley never make fun of Cora,
he championed her against anyone that would hurt her feelings.
His girlfriend Amber was just as kind, and
I was thankful to both of them.
Then the
unthinkable happened.
One day after
school I saw a bunch of kids gathered around Cora’s locker, and a knot of dread
tightened in my chest even before I saw the malicious smile on Caitlin’s face.
I’d seen the look years ago when she and
her friends had been throwing rocks at Jack. She held something in her
perfectly manicured hand, a note, and I braced myself for the worst.
“You’re just in
time Ellie! Guess what your geek friend wrote to Reed?” Caitlin sneered.
Laughter and cheers
of encouragement answered Caitlin’s comment and someone began to chant, “Read
it! Read it!”
Out of the
corner of my eye, I saw Brooke cheering along with the rest of the crowd and a
wave of betrayal crashed inside of me.
Dear Reed,
I know that you’ll never read this letter, but I feel like I’ll burst
if I keep my feelings for you inside any longer.
I think about you all the time.
I’d never do anything to hurt your
relationship with Amber, which is why I’ll never show you this letter.
I think about you all the time, and I want you so much it hurts.
I dream of kissing you, touching you and
I want my first time to be with you.
“That’s
enough,” Reed interrupted in a deep, authoritative voice.
I’d stood frozen
and allowed her to read Cora’s letter, but now I turned toward Reed, angry and
horrified. His jaw was tightly clenched and he looked as furious as I felt.
Seemingly
unaware of Reed’s anger, Caitlin laughed.
“Can you believe what Cora wrote to you?
As if you’d ever be with that loser!”
Stepping
forward, I reached for the letter but Caitlin snatched it back.
“Cora didn’t write that letter.
I did.”
I spoke loudly enough so that everyone
could hear me.
The crowd
turned to look at me and I lifted my chin, unwilling to show weakness, sensing
that I didn’t have a friend in this crowd. I was wrong. Reed’s deep blue eyes
found mine and in the instant our gazes locked, I felt compassion, admiration
and sympathy from him.
“I want the
note,” Reed said calmly to Caitlin, who handed it to him with a dumbfounded
expression on her face.
“Show’s
over,” Reed announced.
The crowd dispersed
at his command, but not before Reed shocked everyone and me by taking my hand
and pulling me towards him.
I was
too surprised to say anything, so I just let Reed lead me outside and into the
student parking lot.
It wasn’t
until we reached his old blue truck that he turned and faced me.
“Thank you,” I
breathed with relief.
“I’m sorry I
embarrassed you.”
Reed stared at
me as if I was something he didn’t understand but was determined to figure
out.
“You and I both know you didn’t
write the note, Ellie. And just so you know, I’m only embarrassed at the way my
friends were acting.”
Hearing him say
my name made my stomach dip, and I shifted uncomfortably. “What are you going
to do with it?” I asked cautiously, eyeing the note in his hand.
He handed it to
me.
Our fingers brushed as I took
it, and I felt a tingling warmth slither up my spine.
Startled, I glanced up at Reed and he seemed
as unsettled I was.
Raking a hand
through his short, black hair, he frowned and I found myself staring at his
mouth, suddenly thinking about Cora’s letter and what she had written about
wanting to kiss him.