Fireflies From Heaven (9 page)

“No, Ellie,” he
whispered almost desperately, clasping my shoulders when I would’ve turned
away.
 
“You have to hear this.”

“When Amber and
I…became more than friends, it seemed right at the time.
 
I thought that I was in love with her,
but we were both so young.
 
Looking
back, I realize that the kind of love I felt for Amber was like what I feel for
Isabelle.
 
I never meant to hurt
Amber, but I never should have slept with her.
 
I never was in love with her. I never
felt for her the way I feel for you.”

I closed my
eyes, letting what he’d said sink in.

“Okay?” Reed
asked, and I could tell my answer meant a great deal to him.

“I’m sorry for
doubting you, Reed.
 
I won’t do it
again.” He reached for me and dragged me into his arms.

I’d never had a
boyfriend so it felt strange to say the word, but it was also exhilarating. It
wasn’t until later that I remembered that not only did I have a boyfriend I had
a date tomorrow night with Stephen Hotchkiss.

When I told Cora
how I’d used my door prizes on Reed, she’d laughed so hard that she choked on
her iced coffee and kept on laughing until tears filled her yes.

“That’s
hilarious.” She took a breath. “And hot.”

I’d left out a
few details that seemed too private to share like what had happened after our
little experiment with the riding crop.
 
I still got hot thinking about the way he’d touched me, with a mixture
of tenderness and urgency, like I was as a necessary to him as air, and he
treasured me.
 
I had burst with
pleasure, literally.
 
In the two
years since I’d made love with Reed I’d learned to make myself come by fantasizing
of him, but no pleasure I’d ever felt came close to the ecstasy I’d experienced
in Reed’s arms.

“You look
happy,” Cora commented once she’d stopped laughing.
 
“I’m glad one of us is.”
 
A shadow fell across Cora’s features, but
it was gone as fast as it appeared and hidden beneath a smile.
 
I’m sure she hadn’t meant to say that
last sentence aloud.

“What’s going
on with you?” I asked, doing my best to sound casual. I knew Cora didn’t like
people fussing over her. “We’re always talking about me lately.”

“We’ve talked
more about me during our friendship than we have about you, and my life isn’t
nearly as exciting,” Cora told me, taking the straw out of her drink and
bringing it to her lips.

 
“What are you and Clayton doing
tonight?”

“Not sure.” Her
eyes lit up. “Maybe I can borrow your sex toys,” she suggested.
 
I knew she didn’t mean it.
 
Cora might be still a virgin at
twenty-two, but her innocence had been stolen long ago, and I hadn’t stopped
praying that she’d find a way to get it back.

“Stop,” Cora
ordered me. “I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t want to go there.
 
We don’t always have to try and fix me.
I’m not that screwed up.”

“You’re not
screwed up at all,” I protested.

“Ellie, you
were hung up on Reed. That’s why you never had ‘normal’ relationships that
women our age have had.
 
I am
screwed up and we both know it,” she said with uncharacteristic frustration.

It didn’t feel
right leaving things unfinished with Cora, but I’d learned that not everything
could be fixed over a cup of coffee and the ear of a best friend.
 
Some problems were like knots, the
harder you pulled on them the tighter and more intense they became, and the
only thing left to do was leave it alone.

“When you’re
ready Cora, I’ll be here.”

She smiled. “I
know.”

I was a little
nervous about what to expect from Reed the next time I saw him.
 
Would he expect us to pick up where we
left off before Jase interrupted us?
 
I was excited and couldn’t wait to find out.

I gave
considerable thought to my underwear before deciding on a lacy black bra with
matching panties.
 
Since I had
several patients to see before I could go to Reed I’d be dressed in my scrubs
when I saw him, which was good because I didn’t have to decide what I was going
to where and bad because, well, scrubs were about as sexy as a paper bag.

Trying to
compensate for the scrubs, I applied a touch more mascara and made sure my
tinted lip-gloss was fresh before I went to see Reed.
 
I also worked a handful of mousse
through my wavy hair, scrunched it and let it dry naturally so that it fell in
soft curls around my shoulders.

Reed’s handsome
face split into the sexiest smile when he saw me, and my heart squeezed.
 
He kissed me and my cells jumped up and
did a little happy dance.
 
When he
took my hand, I thought that Reed was leading me to his bedroom where we’d
spend the night in bed making love.
 
Instead, Reed led me out onto the deck, and tears pricked my eyes at
he’d done.

The patio table
was covered with white linen, set with plates and silverware, and in center
flickered candles and a large crystal vase of daisies.
 
It was beautiful and the most romantic
thing anyone had ever done for me.

We dined on
grilled tilapia, new potatoes and asparagus.
 
Reed opened a bottle of wine and we
spent the entire evening talking.
 
When I told him how romantic he was, he got a strange look on his face.

“Don’t laugh. I
watched a lot of daytime TV while I was in the hospital, and I got the idea for
tonight from one of those talk shows titled something like, ‘What Women Want’.”

I smiled.
“You’re telling me you don’t know much about romancing women?”

“I hope you’re
not too disappointed. On my own I’d probably have gone with beer and barbeque,
but I wanted to do something special for you tonight,” Reed said, claiming a
chunk of my heart.

I would never
forget that night, and we didn’t even have sex nor did we any of the nights
that followed.
 
Reed did kiss me a
few times, each kiss shaking me all the way to my core but he never went any
further. I wondered if his leg was bothering him, but when I asked he always
said that he was fine.
 
He was
lying, I knew, even though he never complained.
 
I tried to get him to take the pain
medication that he’d been prescribed, but Reed refused.
 
He said he didn’t like how the meds made
him feel.

 
In a few short days, I felt like Reed was
one of my best friends, and I knew that I was falling hard for him. Things were
going great for Reed and I until the day that flipped our new relationship
upside down.

 
I’d just finished checking his leg when Isabelle
showed up.
 

“Knock, Knock!”
Isabelle called a moment before she swept into Reed’s living room, where he sat
on the sofa.
 
I sat on an ottoman
opposite him.

“Hey, sis.”

Isabelle hugged
Reed first and then me. “Hey, Brother.
 
Hi, Ellie.
 
I didn’t mean to
interrupt, I just wanted to visit.”

“You’re not
interrupting anything,” I said quickly.
 
Catching the amusement shining in Reed’s
eyes, I realized that I sounded guilty like she was interrupting something.

“Ellie just
finished checking me out,” Reed told his sister grinning, my heart flipping
inside my chest at the double meaning.

“She’s the
best.” Isabelle smiled.

“What’s that?”
Reed asked Isabelle, nodding at the large plastic shopping bag in one arm and a
brown paper bag in the other.

Isabelle
beamed.
 
“You’re favorite Chinese food.”
She held up the brown paper bag.
 
“I
know you haven’t had time to get out and shop, so I figured I would get you a
few things.” She indicated the other bag.

 
“You didn’t have to go to the trouble,
but thanks.
 
I appreciate it. I hope
you’re going to help us eat all that.”

He’d used the
word ‘us’ so casually that I don’t think Isabelle thought anything of it, but I
suddenly regretted not telling her about us.
 
Unaware of my upset, Reed got up and
reached to take the bags from Isabelle.

“Sit back
down!” she ordered. “I’ve got this.
 
You need to rest.”

“Isabelle, I’m
fine.”

“The doctor
said you shouldn’t overdo it,” she insisted, holding the bags away from him.

“He also said I
should use my leg.
 
It won’t get any
stronger if I sit on my ass all day.” His soft tone took the sting out of the
words.

“Just sit back
down, and let Ellie do her job while I put these things away.
 
Then we’ll eat.”

I could tell
there was going to be no arguing with Isabelle and apparently Reed realized the
same thing because he reluctantly sat back down, humoring his sister.

“Be right
back,” she said before turning in the direction of the kitchen.
 
Suddenly she stopped.
 
“Hey Ellie, you’ll have to tell us about
your date with Doctor Hot Kiss over dinner,” she laughed. “Reed, did she tell
you that she’s dating the sexiest doctor at the hospital?” Isabelle walked
away, not expecting an answer but she didn’t expect the look of her brother’s
face either.

“No.” He turned
his attention to me. “You didn’t tell me about your date.”

I understood
Reed’s scowl, but the hurt in his eyes made me want to beg his forgiveness even
though I hadn’t really done anything wrong.

“It’s not what
you think,” I assured him.

“You didn’t go
on a date some guy called Doctor Hot Kiss?”

I heard the
hopeful tone in his voice and wished that I could tell him no.
 
“Yes, but I can explain.”

He cocked a
brow. “You can explain that you’re dating the sexiest guy at the hospital?” he practically
growled.
 
“Cause I’m not real sure I
want to hear about that, Ellie.”

“Reed, I made
the date before we were together, and I tried to call him to cancel, but he was
in surgery and I didn’t want to break it off in a voicemail.”

“So you went
out with him?” he asked dryly.

“Yes.

“Did you sleep
with him?”

“No!” I cried.
“I can’t believe you’re asking me that.”

“I can’t
believe I’m asking you if you’re dating someone. I can’t believe I’m referring
to a guy as
Doctor
Hot Kiss
.”

The situation
might have been funny if Reed wasn’t so upset. My lips tugged at the corners,
but I fought the smile.

Reed stared at
me with a guarded expression, as if he wasn’t sure what to expect from me.

“I only went
out with him to break it off.
 
We
met at Luciano’s and over dinner I told him I’d met someone.”

He shot me an
uncertain look. “You told him about us?”

“I’d never do
anything to hurt you, Reed.”

“Why does Isabelle
think you’re dating him?”

“I haven’t
talked to her. I haven’t even told her about us yet.”

Surprise flashed
across his face a second before Isabelle stormed back into the living room
carrying the handcuffs and riding crop I’d left at Reed’s house last week. I’d
actually thought that the evening couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong.

“What the hell
is this?” Isabelle demanded, holding the items in front of Reed.

He took a deep
breath. “You shouldn’t be going through my stuff, Sis,” he said calmly.

Isabelle’s blue
eyes flashed with emotion foreshadowing trouble.
 
“I wasn’t going through your stuff.
 
This was lying out in the open on a
shelf in your closet!”

“Isabelle—“

“How could you
do this to Amber?” Isabelle cried.
 

Reed got to his
feet and faced his sister. “I haven’t done anything to Amber,” he said quietly.

Isabelle didn’t
seem to hear him.
 
“You have no idea
how much she loves you, do you?
 
You
broke her heart!”

It was like
watching a train wreck in slow motion.
 
I stood up ready to tell Isabelle that all the stuff was mine when I
caught the warning in Reed’s eyes.
 
He didn’t want me to say anything.
 
I felt helpless and stared stiffly at Isabelle.

“What’s this
about Reed?
 
Do you have some lingering
issues from our abusive childhood?” Isabelle’s teary eyes were full of
accusation.

I couldn’t
breathe.
 
Isabelle was dealing with
something more than Reed not taking Amber back, and Reed seemed to realize it
as well.

“How could you
do that to a woman?” Isabelle was crying. “It’s all my fault.
 
This is because of what she did to you,
isn’t it?
 
I should’ve protected
you!”

“Isabelle
stop,” Reed ordered firmly, taking his sister into his arms and holding her
while she cried.

If I’d been
able to move, I would have left but I was frozen, shocked at the depth of Isabelle’s
emotion. I’ve no idea how long we stood there while Reed tried to calm her
down.
 
Finally, Isabelle quieted.

“Oh my God, I’m
so sorry,” Isabelle whispered brokenly. “I’m sorry, Ellie.”

“It’s okay,” I
told her, but I didn’t know if it was.
 
“I’ll leave you two alone.”

“You don’t have
to go,” Reed told me, and Isabelle agreed.

I knew that he
didn’t want to leave things unfinished between us, and neither did I. But he
and Isabelle needed to talk. “I should visit my dad.” Reluctantly, I grabbed my
bag and turned to go.

“Can I come
over later?” Isabelle asked.

“Sure.”

I knew that she
wanted to talk, and so did Reed.
 
Catching the disappointment in his eyes, I knew he didn’t want me to go but
he didn’t argue and I think it was because he knew Isabelle needed to talk to
me too.