First Love (8 page)

"They loved you, too. You know that, right? I was the reason they wouldn't tell you where I was. I asked them not to. But, I never told them why. I didn't want them to have a reason to hate you. I knew how important they were to you." He places his hand on mine and slowly moves his thumb back and forth over the top of my wrist. Butterflies invade my stomach from his touch and the way he looks at me with those blue eyes. I could get lost in those beautiful blue eyes. The coffee pot beeps and I quickly get up. I pour out two mugs and bring them to the island where he is already prepared with milk and sugar. We sit on the couch. He sits so close to me, barely touching, that I find it hard to breathe. I let out a shaky breath, and breathe in deeply. I can smell his cologne. Eternity. I bought it for him for Valentine’s Day when we were in tenth grade.

"It was always your favorite. I have been wearing it since I was fifteen." Shit, now I get busted smelling him? I need to change the subject. My body is alert and on fire. Having him so close… I take a gulp of coffee hoping it will clear my tequila fog. I’m so close to throwing caution to the wind and saying, “Screw it!” It takes everything in me to not straddle his hips. With the way he is looking at me, I don't think he would put up a fight.

"I know Gram told you where I lived three years ago. Why didn't you ever contact me?" The smirk is gone and he looks so sad. He tells me about the bar and his parents. "Kyle, I am so sorry you had to deal with all of that at once." He gives me a sad smile and nods, taking a big breath.

“About a year ago, just before your grandparents passed away, I did go to get you back. You weren't home, so I waited in the coffee shop across the street." He laughs, but it isn't a happy one. “It was just my luck that I pick the same day some douchey guy decides to propose to you right in front of me."

Oh my God! What are the chances? I cannot believe he was there that day. So close to me and I never knew it. "If I would have known you were there, I never would have said yes."

He grabs my hand and holds it, but I continue before he can say anything. "I didn't date anyone. Four years after I left and I still couldn’t find it in me to date. I was a mess. I met Daniel right after I got to Atlanta. I told him it would be a long time before I was in any shape to move on from you. He said he was happy to be my friend. And, a good friend he was. At a time when I really needed one, there he was. I never should have dated him. I definitely shouldn't have agreed to marry him. I loved him like a friend … not like I love you." Oh, shit! Did I just say that out loud? Maybe he didn't catch that. His head snaps up. Shit…he caught it.

"Did you say love?"

"Of course. I will always love you."

"Enough to be with me again?" he asks, sounding hopeful.

“I thought you were angry? That you hated me for what I did?" My voice breaks up a lot more than I want it to. Kyle grabs my face in his hands and pulls me toward him. We are so close, I can feel his breath on my lips.

"I could never hate you. You are the only woman I have ever loved… will ever love. I was angry for a long time. I had no idea why you left. Actually, I was hurt more than anything. But, you know me, anger is easier to deal with."

"I want nothing more than to be with you again, but I don't think jumping in head first is the way to do it. We have missed out on six years of each other’s lives. We need to get to know each other again." I search his face, trying to see what he is thinking. His expression is one that I can't quite read.

"I can agree to that for a little while, Princess," he says. He moves his lips against my ear and whispers, “We are going to have to get to know each other again quickly, though. It is killing me to be around you and not have all of you." A shiver runs down my spine. He definitely wasn't like this before. This new aggressive side of him may be my undoing. "It’s really late. I am going to stay here with you and fall asleep holding you in my arms. Do you have any objections to that?" He gives me a look that dares me to challenge him. The only problem I have is whether or not I am able to keep my hands to myself with him that close to me.

"As long as that's all there is, I have no objections."

We lock all the doors, turn out the lights, and head upstairs. I give him a toothbrush and head to find something to wear. After he finishes in the bathroom, I go in to get ready for bed.

When I come out he is on the edge of the bed in a pair of black silk boxers. My mouth waters and my knees start to buckle. This is going to be absolute torture. Seeing every line of every hard muscle on his body, feeling him lying next to me almost naked, I’m going to need a really big douse of self-control. Judging by the smile on his face, he knows damn well what he is doing to me. That's okay; two can play this game. Instead of walking around the bed, I crawl over his legs, making sure my ass is in full view in my too-short sleep shorts. As I cross over him, I can tell I accomplished what I set out to do from the groan he lets out before flopping down on his back and squeezing his eyes closed. I roll onto my side with a smile and flip the lamp off. I feel him ease up behind me. He snakes one arm under my neck, the other around my waist, and he pulls me in as close as he can. I gasp when I feel his erection against my ass.

"I told you, Princess. Just knowing you’re here, makes me hard. You don't play fair," he whispers in my ear. I don’t say a word. I just wiggle my backside into him a little more. I am rewarded with another groan and a firm grip on my hip. "I will be breaking our deal if you keep that up,” he growls. I am so tempted to just give us both what we want, but I can’t. I just…can’t. "G'night, Princess … I've missed you."

"Good night, Kyle. I've missed you, too." I entwine his fingers with mine and kiss the back of his hand as I drift off to sleep.

I
HAVE
been laying here awake for the last two hours. I don’t want to open my eyes. I haven't felt this relaxed and peaceful since before she left. This morning, waking up with Amber in my arms, is a dream come true. I don't ever want it to end. Her head is resting on my chest and I can feel her warm breath every time she exhales. Her smooth leg is wrapped around my thigh. Her arm is so tight around my waist it's as if she's holding me in place. I lean my head down just enough to rest my nose in her hair and inhale. God, she smells so good. She uses the same coconut scented shampoo she always did. I breathe her in again. I love that smell. Apparently, so does my cock. It starts twitching, coming to life. I am not a horny, hormonal, teenager anymore, but being around her still makes me feel like one.

I understand what she meant last night about getting to know each other again, but I am terrified of what she is going to think of me after she finds out about all the alcohol, drugs, and women. I am not making excuses, but I was in a bad place trying to forget her any way I could. I am not proud of everything I did, but when it came to the women I was with, I was always up front. They knew before anything happened that I only wanted a physical encounter, no emotions involved. It may make me sound like a dick, but hey, I was honest. At least I didn't lead anyone on, thinking I was going to fall in love. I knew that was never going to happen, so there was no use pretending. There have been a few that thought they possessed something special and would be the one to change my mind. I quickly set them straight. The only one that hasn’t seem to have gotten the memo is Darcie. She can be a sneaky, heartless bitch when she wants something. The last time a girl like her came around, Amber left, and I will be damned if that is going to happen again. I am going to have to make Amber see that she is the only woman I want. For us to work, we are going to have to be totally honest with each other. I just hope she can accept my past and leave it behind us. I guess now is as good a time as any to start our talk, even though the thought has my stomach turning.

I lightly kiss the top of her head. I begin to trail my finger from her shoulder slowly down her arm, then along her ribs to her hip, leaving goose bumps in its wake. I continue over her stomach around her navel, then I trace slowly up between her breasts. She gasps and opens her eyes to look at me. I bring my finger along her jaw, trace her lips, and slowly bring my face closer to hers. I can see her chest begin to rise and fall more quickly the closer I get. Her tongue peeks out to wet her lips. She wants me to kiss her. I wasn't planning on it, I don’t want to push, but there was no denying that's what she wants right now. Who was I to deny my Princess something she clearly wanted? Yes, I am a selfish bastard; I admit it. But, there is something about this woman that makes me lose any self-control I have. I slowly bring my lips to hers and whisper, "Good," then kiss her softly, "Morning," kiss her softly again, "Princess." The last time I press a little harder against her lips.

"Mmmmm." She starts running her fingers through my hair. I can’t hold back. I suck at her lips, teasing them apart. When she opens them, I thrust my tongue in her mouth, ready to taste her. She feels just like I remember. So sweet. I pull her closer to me and my erection rubs against her inner thigh. She lets out the sexiest groan I have ever heard and I almost embarrass myself right there in my boxers. I do not want to stop this, but I have to. I can’t go any further until she knows everything and still wants me, despite. Plus, I made a promise last night to go slow. I intend to keep it until she decides otherwise. I cup her cheeks in my hands and slowly pull away.

"As much as I don't want to ... we need to stop, Princess. We have a lot of things to talk about."

"I know. Can I just say wow? You have gotten a lot better at that, and it was pretty amazing before." She gives me a little wink. I smile, but inside I am worried that when she finds out how I got so much better, she won’t feel the same.

“Okay, Princess, how about you take a shower and get dressed. I will go down and fix us some breakfast." She looks a little shocked.

“You can cook? We are talking more than Lucky Charms, right?" She giggles and pokes me in the ribs. I have to get out of this bed before I lose all self-control.

“Yes, I can cook, a lot more than cereal. I do own a restaurant, remember? I took a few cooking classes over the last few years just in case I needed them." Before that beautiful smile could do me in, I hop out of bed and start putting on my jeans. "Shower, Princess, then meet me in the kitchen." I kiss her forehead and walk out the bedroom door.