First Love, Last Love (15 page)

Alex gave a strained smile. ‘You’re seeing this through a romantic haze, Lauren. What makes you
think this other woman was free to love him?’

‘Well—because—’

‘She wasn’t. She was a married woman. Laurence had an affair with her and walked out when it got too hot to handle, using his crippled wife as an excuse.’

‘How do you know all this?’ she asked sharply.

‘Most of it I know to be fact, the rest is obvious.’

She shook her head. ‘Not to me. There could have been any number of reasons—’

‘You like him, don’t you?’ Alex cut in.

She coloured bright red. ‘Why shouldn’t I?’ She was on the defensive. ‘What he did in the past is none of my business. I like the man he is now.’

‘I hope you still feel that way later today.’

‘What do you mean?’ Lauri asked sharply.

Alex shrugged. ‘It isn’t up to me to tell you, although I’m sure Laurence thinks that I will. No doubt he’ll tell you himself, in his own time.’

‘This is hardly the time to keep secrets.’

‘It isn’t my secret,’ he rasped. ‘Thank God!’

‘Does this secret concern me?’

‘Oh yes,’ he gave a harsh laugh.

‘Then I have a right to know,’ she told him stubbornly.

‘Not this,’ he shook his head. ‘It may once have given me great pleasure to hurt Laurence, but not any more.’

Lauri frowned. ‘But if it concerns me …’

‘Not now, Lauren.’ He stood up. ‘The doctor’s coming over.’

‘Mr Daniels’ relatives?’ The young doctor stood in front of them, a tired-looking man with long hair that grew wildly down to his shoulders.

‘Yes,’ Alex nodded tersely.

‘Well, I’m afraid Mr Daniels has suffered a slight heart attack. You probably guessed that?’

‘Yes,’ again Alex nodded.

‘Yes, well, I won’t deny the seriousness of it, but for the moment he’s out of danger. Rest and no worries should take care of his speedy recovery.’

‘Oh, thank God for that!’ Lauri felt quite faint, not realising the strain she had been under until this moment. ‘Thank God!’

Alex turned to her. ‘Sit down, darling,’ he encouraged gently. ‘It’s been a great shock for you.’

Lauri did as he said, colouring at his easy use of the endearment. ‘When will we be able to see him?’ she asked the doctor.

‘He’s in intensive care at the moment, but later on today he should be moved to a private ward. Your instructions I believe, Mr Blair?’

‘That’s right.’ Even in denims and casual shirt Alex managed to exude an aura of authority.

‘You and your wife can go and see him for two minutes now. No more than that,’ the doctor warned. ‘Mr Daniels is still a very sick man.’

‘We understand. And thank you.’

‘Why didn’t you tell him I’m not your wife?’ Lauri demanded as soon as the harassed-looking doctor had left them in order to go to another emergency.

Alex shrugged. ‘It wasn’t important.’

‘It was to me! So far today I’ve been called Laurence’s daughter and your wife, neither of which is true.’

‘Let’s go and see Laurence,’ he said impatiently. ‘What does it matter what or who people think you are?’ he snapped. ‘Stop being so damned stupid!’

Her mouth set in an angry line, but she made no comment, realising that to argue with him now would be in very poor taste. No matter how he denied it he was concerned for his brother-in-law, conscious that it was the argument between them that had caused
the other man’s collapse.

Laurence was awake when they entered the room, although the greyness of his face and the blue tinge to his mouth showed how ill he still was. He put a hand out towards Lauri when he saw her, a slight smile on his lips as she took it into her own.

‘Stupid thing to do,’ he muttered.

Lauri smiled. ‘It didn’t happen through choice.’

He turned to Alex. ‘Not your fault,’ he said weakly. ‘I’ve been heading for this for a long time.’

‘But I didn’t have to precipitate it,’ Alex scowled. ‘Lauren said it was my fault, and it was. I’m sorry, Laurence. I had no right to try and interfere.’

‘Then you haven’t—’

‘No, I haven’t,’ Alex sighed. ‘We’ll be back to see you tonight. You’ll be better for a few hours’ rest. And don’t worry about a thing.’

Lauri squeezed Laurence’s hand. ‘I’ll come back tonight too, shall I?’

His eyes lit up. ‘Please,’ he said huskily.

‘She’ll come with me,’ Alex told him.

‘I—’

‘Won’t you?’ His hand was under the hair at her nape, exerting pressure.

She squirmed as much as she could without letting Laurence know what was going on. ‘Yes,’ she finally agreed. ‘Rest now,’ she advised the man in the bed.

She turned on Alex as soon as they were in the Ferrari on their way to her home. ‘You’re getting altogether too bossy for your own good,’ she snapped. ‘I don’t like being ordered about.’

‘Did you want to cause a scene in front of Laurence?’

‘You know I didn’t. But I can find my own way to the hospital tonight. If Laurence hadn’t been there this morning I would have told you that I don’t
want to see you again.’

‘Because of last night?’

‘Of course because of last night!’

‘Because I tried to make you admit you love me?’ he taunted.

‘Because you tried to
make love
to me,’ she corrected.

‘And I would have succeeded too if Steve hadn’t interrupted.’

Lauri blushed. ‘I know that,’ she admitted huskily. ‘That’s why I don’t want to be alone with you any more.’

He gave her a mocking glance. ‘You’re alone with me now.’

‘It isn’t the same thing,’ she said irritably.

‘You still haven’t told me whether or not you’re in love with me.’

‘And I don’t intend to!’

‘How about if I tell you first?’ he asked throatily.

Lauri’s mouth set. ‘I’m not going to have an affair with you, so you can stop the lies.’

He raised dark eyebrows. ‘Why should I lie?’

‘Well, it certainly isn’t the truth. I may like you—a lot,’ she added at his scornful snort. ‘But I’m certainly not going to fall for that old routine about loving me and how about I prove I love you, by hopping into bed with you, of course.’

‘Did I ask for proof?’

She stared rigidly ahead, glad that they were almost at home. ‘Not yet, but you would. And then when you got tired of me you would say it was all a mistake, that you didn’t love me after all.’

‘And what makes you think I would get tired of you?’ He had stopped the car outside the house and had turned in his seat to look at her, his hand caressing the nape he had bruised earlier at the hospital. ‘So far,
knowing you has been far from dull,’ he drawled.

‘My—inexperience would soon pall.’

Alex grinned. ‘You wouldn’t stay inexperienced for long.’

‘I’m sure you’re only too willing to teach me everything you know,’ Lauri retorted sarcastically.

‘Mm,’ his hand still caressed her. ‘And that should take some time.’

‘I’ll bet!’ She jerked away from him. ‘Forget it, Alex.’

‘But you told me at the start that an affair would suit you better than marriage.’

Her eyes flashed deeply green. ‘Maybe it would, if I loved someone and they loved me! But I’ll make sure it’s someone who’s as innocent as I am.’

‘For innocent read inexperienced,’ Alex mocked.

‘Perhaps,’ she snapped, pushing open the car door. ‘But I won’t just be another conquest for any man!’ She got out on to the pavement. ‘Goodbye, Alex.’

He restarted the engine. ‘I’ll see you later, Lauren. We’ll be going to the hospital together. Seven o’clock. Be ready.’

Steve was out when she let herself into the house, so she was able to fume in private. She had been right to presume Alex’s mention of marriage to Steve was just a ruse, his suggestion of an affair was evidence of that. And he was a man who didn’t give up easily, so she would have to beware now she knew his intention.

Jane telephoned just before five to say she and Robin would be leaving shortly. And by her tone she would have a lot to say to Lauri when she got here. All the more reasons for Lauri to be out, and besides, she had told Laurence she would visit him.

Alex wasn’t put off by her cool attitude towards him later that evening, talking to her easily about impersonal subjects as they drove to the hospital. Most
of his conversation required no answer, so she didn’t have the satisfaction of showing him she wasn’t speaking to him. Damn him!

‘Cheer up, Lauren,’ he told her as they entered the hospital. ‘I’m sure you won’t help Laurence with that long face.’

‘I had no intention of presenting a long face to him,’ she snapped, glaring at him.

‘Only to me, hmm?’ he taunted.

‘Go to hell!’ she flared, the scowl fading from her features as she entered Laurence’s room. She was glad to see that he looked slightly better, a little more colour to his face, the blue tinge to his skin almost gone. ‘How do you feel now?’ she asked him gently.

‘I feel rather stupid,’ he gave a rueful smile. ‘Ah, Alex,’ his gaze passed to the man who had entered the room behind her, ‘I’m glad you’re here.’

‘As it was my fault this happened it would have been pretty callous not to have visited you,’ Alex said gruffly. ‘I should have known … Beth said something about a weak heart.’

‘I’m fine if I take care of myself.’

‘Which Lauren says you haven’t been doing.’

Laurence smiled at her. ‘With one thing and another it was all too much for me.’ He looked keenly at Alex. ‘I’m sure you know what I mean.’

‘Yes,’ Alex nodded.

‘I wonder,’ Laurence said slowly, ‘if I might have a few minutes alone with Lauri?

Alex frowned. ‘I don’t think now would be a good time, her mood isn’t very receptive at the moment.’

‘It has to come some time, Alex.’

‘But not now.’

‘Yes!’ Laurence insisted with as much force as he could in his weakened condition. ‘I have to tell her. I want Lauri to know the truth.’

‘It’s your decision, of course,’ Alex said coolly. ‘But I would advise against it for the moment.’

‘Against what, for heaven’s sake?’ Lauri was sick of this cross-talk they indulged in in front of her. ‘What do you want to tell me?’ she asked the older man.

‘Alex—please,’ Laurence prompted.

‘Okay,’ he sighed. ‘But don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll be outside if you need me.’

Laurence waited for him to leave before seizing Lauri’s hand. ‘I—I wanted to talk to you alone because there’s something I have to tell you—
need
to tell you, for my sanity.’

She looked puzzled by his earnest expression. ‘Surely it can’t be that serious, whatever it is.’

‘I’m afraid it is, very serious.’ He took his glasses off to rub his eyes, looking down at his hand as it pleated the sheet. ‘You see, Lauri, I—Oh God, there’s just no easy way to tell you this! I’m your father, Lauri, your real father!’

She recoiled as if he had hit her, wrenching her hand away from his. ‘No! You—you’re lying!’ She stared at him in horror.

‘No, Lauri, I’m not.’ He raised his lids, looking at her with eyes as deeply green as her own.

L
AURI
had never realised that he had green eyes; the tinted lenses of his glasses made them appear a smoky brown. But the coincidence of their eye colour didn’t make him her father!

Laurence looked at her pleadingly. ‘I know this is a shock for you, Lauri, but I—’

‘Shock!’ she repeated almost hysterically. ‘It’s a fairytale, a fabrication of a sick man’s mind.’

‘No, Lauri,’ he shook his head, reaching over for his wallet. It was just out of his grasp. ‘Pass it to me—please.’

She pushed it within his reach, stepping back before he could make any further attempt to touch her. ‘Why are you telling these lies?’ There were tears in her eyes. ‘Why are you trying to hurt me?’

‘I don’t want to hurt you, God knows,’ he groaned. ‘But you’re my daughter, and—’

‘I’m not!’ she cried shrilly, putting her hands childishly over her ears. ‘I’m not, I’m not, I’m
not
!’

‘Lauri? Lauri, come here,’ he encouraged gently. ‘I have something I want to show you.’

She ignored his outstretched hand. ‘What is it?’

‘A photograph.’

She gave him a sharp look. ‘Of whom?’

‘Come and see,’ he invited softly.

‘No! I—What you’re telling me is that my mother—that she was the one—that you and she—’

‘Loved each other,’ he finished.

She gave a harsh laugh. ‘Is that the way you like to think of your sordid affair, the affair you had while your wife was at home, a helpless cripple in a wheelchair?’

‘Your mother and I loved each other,’ his voice had hardened angrily, ‘and there was nothing sordid about that love. Now come over here!’ he ordered.

Lauri’s eyes widened indignantly at his command, but she went to his side anyway. He held out the photograph to her, an old faded photograph with a brown tinge to everything. The colouring of the middle-aged woman was impossible to guess, but the face—the face was Lauri’s own! The widely spaced eyes, uptilted freckle-smattered nose, and wide smiling mouth, all her own features, and yet the age of the photograph denied its being her.

‘Who …?’

‘My mother, your grandmother.’

‘No!’ She threw the photograph down on to the bed as if it had stung her. ‘I—I don’t want to hear any more,’ she ran to the door. ‘I won’t
listen
to any more!’

‘In my experience running away from a situation has never solved it,’ Laurence told her in a strained voice. ‘And if you leave now you will be running away, postponing the inevitable.’

‘Then I’ll postpone it!’ she said shrilly. ‘You stay away from me, just stay away!’

‘I can’t do that, Lauri,’ he told her sadly. ‘I lost one child through death, I certainly don’t intend losing another one—for any reason.’

‘I’m not your child,’ she told him vehemently. ‘Oh I’m not denying you could be my father,
could
be,’ she repeated warningly. ‘That photograph is pretty damning, undeniable evidence you could say. But the act of making a child doesn’t make you my father.’

‘Lauri—’

‘I’m sorry, I know you’re ill, but I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again. Not ever!’ She slammed out of the room.

Alex stood up on her exit, coming towards her with long strides. ‘Lauren—’

‘Don’t touch me!’ She evaded his grasp, seven stone of fury as she glared her hatred at him. ‘You knew about this,’ she accused. ‘You’ve known about this from the start!’

He put his hands savagely in his denim pockets. ‘Not from the start, Lauren, only since we picked Laurence up at the airport. I told you when we went to lunch on Tuesday that you reminded me of someone. As soon as I saw the two of you together I knew who that someone was.’

So that was the reason for his sudden cruelty, for the veiled argument between Laurence and himself as they travelled back into town. ‘What a shock for you, Alex,’ she scorned. ‘To find I’m the daughter of the man you most despise. God, how ironic!’ She began to laugh, a hysterical laugh that went on and on.

‘Stop that!’ One of his hands snaked out and slapped her hard across the face.

‘Oh, I’ll stop,’ she made no attempt to touch her throbbing cheek. ‘In fact I’ll remove myself completely. And I’ll repeat to you what I told
him
, I don’t ever want to see either of you again!’

Her flight was one of haste, wanting only to get away, to think, to—God, it couldn’t be true, Laurence Daniels couldn’t be her
father
!

She walked and walked, not wanting to think and yet finding she could do little else. To think that her mother and Laurence Daniels had been lovers, that they had deceived her father, had even foisted their love-child on to him. Her father had never known of the affair, of that Lauri felt certain, he could never have been so loving towards her if he had known.

To think that her mother had been the woman Laurence Daniels deceived his wife with, that Alex had
been right about its being a married woman. By the time the affair had ended there had been a child, a child whom her father had accepted as being his own. Probably because it had never occurred to him that his beautiful wife could be unfaithful to him.

Did Jane and Steve suspect anything of her parenthood? After all, they had been seventeen and eight at the time, quite old enough to realise that their brother’s wife had another man. Hadn’t Laurence said he had seen Steve a couple of times, and he couldn’t have done that unless Adele had taken him along on some of their meetings.

She knew that what Laurence Daniels had told her was the truth—and she hated him for it. But she hated Alex Blair too! He had known since their meeting on Wednesday, and that was the reason he had made no attempt to see her after that, why he had called for her last night and deliberately caused trouble with her aunt and uncle. He had decided to pay her back too for the pain his sister had suffered.

She had meant it about not seeing either of them again. She despised Laurence Daniels for his affair with her mother, and she hated Alex for what he had tried to do to her last night. If she had admitted loving him, had let him make love to her, no doubt he would then have taken great pleasure in informing her that she meant nothing to him, that he had only done it because of her relationship to Laurence. Little did he know that he still had his revenge, she was still insanely in love with him.

Jane and Robin were in the lounge when she finally arrived home, and much as she would have liked to have gone straight to her room, she knew her aunt would never let her escape that easily. If only Jane realised the shock she had received today.

Jane stood up on her entrance. ‘Lauri, I—
Goodness, are you ill?’ she rushed to her side. ‘What’s happened?’

‘Nothing.’ Lauri sat down—before she fell down.

Jane’s mouth set. ‘It was Alexander Blair,’ she said grimly. ‘He said you were upset, but he didn’t say he was the cause of it.’

She gave her aunt a sharp look. ‘You’ve heard from Alex?’ That was something she hadn’t expected.

‘He came round.’

‘Alex did?’ she frowned.

‘Yes, darling,’ Jane confirmed gently. ‘He seemed—concerned.’

‘I’ll bet he was,’ Lauri acknowledged grimly.

‘What happened?’ Jane frowned. ‘Did he—’

‘Oh no,’ Lauri’s smile was bitter, ‘nothing like that. Alex Blair doesn’t use force, he has other, more subtle ways of getting what he wants. He would never hurt a woman that way.’

‘But he has hurt you, very much. I can tell that.’

Lauri shook her head. ‘Not him. At least, only partly.’

Robin stood up and came over to kiss Jane on the cheek. ‘I can see that the two of you want to talk in private,’ he said understandingly. ‘I’ll meet you tomorrow lunchtime, darling, and we’ll go and choose your ring.’

‘Fine.’ Jane returned his kiss. ‘I had a lovely weekend. I’ll write to your parents and thank them.’

He grinned. ‘I think agreeing to marry me is thank-you enough. Until tomorrow. Goodnight, Lauri,’ he added almost gently.

She forced herself to smile. ‘Goodnight, Robin.’

‘Now,’ Jane said briskly once he had left, ‘tell me what happened to upset you like this.’

In the past she had always found it easy to talk to Jane, but now she was too conscious of her own identity, feeling like an intruder, an interloper in the house
that had been her home all her life. Besides, she could hardly tell Jane the truth. ‘Do I take it congratulations are in order?’ She spoke of something quite different, Robin’s remark was too obvious for him to have meant anything else.

‘Robin has asked me to marry him, yes,’ Jane blushed prettily.

‘So you met with his parents’ approval?’

Jane flushed. ‘I know you don’t think it important, but I happen to think it is. I remember the way my mother and father objected to some of my boy-friends when I was younger,’ she smiled in reminiscence.

‘Did it stop you going out with them?’ Lauri teased, glad that she had momentarily diverted her aunt’s attention from the emotional state she was in.

‘Usually the opposite,’ Jane admitted ruefully. ‘Although when they did approve that approval was hardly ever misplaced. In fact,’ her voice hardened, ‘I think it only ever happened once.’

‘Do you think they would have approved of Robin?’ Lauri asked curiously.

Jane seemed to give this some serious thought. ‘They would have liked him,’ she answered finally. ‘But not as a husband for me.’

‘But you’re willing to risk it?’

‘They were wrong once, they could be again.’

Lauri didn’t think they would be in Robin’s case. But who was she to cast aspersions—look at the man she herself had fallen in love with, someone completely unsuitable for her. ‘As long as you’re happy, Jane.’

‘I think I will be. There’s a lot more to love than sexual desire, fever-pitch excitement. It may not be quite what you have in mind for your life, but for me quiet security is just fine.’

‘The one time Grandma and Granddad were wrong?’ Lauri probed gently.

‘Yes.’ Jane looked down at her clenched hands. ‘But I don’t even want to think about him,’ she said determinedly. ‘Not on the day I’ve agreed to marry Robin. You do like him, don’t you?’

Well, Lauri didn’t
dis
like him. ‘It’s what you feel for him that matters,’ she evaded.

‘No,’ Jane frowned. ‘As you’ll be living with us you have to like him too.’

Lauri looked startled. ‘Living with you? But I shall be staying here.’

‘So will we. Robin has agreed to move in here when we’re married.’

‘Here?’ Lauri looked even more startled. ‘But surely you’ll want to be just the two of you. You’ll be newly married, surely you won’t want Steve and me underfoot?’

Her aunt looked firm. ‘I’ve brought you and Steve up since you were children.’

‘All the more reason—’

‘It’s all settled, Lauri. I only agreed to the marriage on condition that you would always have a home with us.’

‘But what if Robin hadn’t agreed?’ Lauri was aghast.

‘Then I wouldn’t have accepted his proposal. If Steve would prefer that we didn’t live here then we’ll buy a house of our own, but whatever happens you’re going to live with us.’

‘Because I made a fool of myself over Alex Blair,’ Lauri said dully.

‘Not at all,’ Jane denied sharply. ‘Because I love you, and I—I’ve always taken care of you.’ She gave a shaky smile. ‘Habits like that are hard to break.’

‘So I’m a habit now, am I?’ Lauri teased.

‘A nice one,’ Jane smiled. ‘Now, what happened with Mr Blair this weekend?’

‘Not a lot,’ Lauri lied. Too much had happened for her to be able to take it all in. ‘But I’m not going to see him any more. And I’m handing my notice in at Blair’s.’

‘Isn’t that a little drastic?’

She shook her head. ‘If I could I would make it impossible for him ever to find me again.’ Or the man who claimed to be her father!

‘Well, at least make sure you have another job first,’ Jane advised.

‘All right,’ she agreed, determined to hand in her notice the next day no matter what. Still, only being ‘on trial’, she would only have to give a week’s notice instead of the usual month. She might just manage to get through a week of possibly seeing Alex around every corner in the corridor. ‘Now, tell me, when’s the engagement to be?’

Jane blushed. ‘Saturday. We’re going to have a small dinner party here, just a few friends and relatives.’

‘Not Alex Blair, I hope,’ Lauri shuddered.

‘Until you started dating him I never considered he fitted into either of those categories. But Steve said something about Mr Blair mentioning you and a wedding ring all in one breath.’

‘Only in jest. Besides, he knows I would never consider marrying him.’

‘
You
would never …’ Jane spluttered with laughter. ‘My God, Lauri, he met his match in you! There’ve been any number of women the last few years who would gladly have become his wife.’

‘Well, for one thing he didn’t ask me.’

‘And if he had?’

‘Well, I—I told him I didn’t want to get married.’

‘You told him …!’

Again Lauri blushed. ‘Well, the subject came up, just in passing, so I told him I had no intention of ever getting married.’

‘And what was his answer to that, just in passing?’ Jane asked dryly.

Lauri’s mouth twisted derisively. ‘He said that once
I had grown out of this childish ploy to be different I would be in the marriage market like every other woman he knew.’

‘Cynical!’

‘After working for him all this time I would have thought you would already have known that.’

‘I did, but it’s nice to have your opinion confirmed. And the second thing?’ Jane queried. ‘You did say, for one thing he hadn’t asked you.’

‘Oh—oh yes. Well, the second thing is that we aren’t in love.’

‘Aren’t you?’

‘No!’

‘
You
are.’

‘I hate him!’

‘For the moment you do,’ Jane agreed gently. ‘Because he’s hurt you in some way. But once the hurt fades the love will return.’

‘Never! I don’t love
him.
’

‘I know you, Lauri, so much better than you think I do. I fell in love at your age, I was hurt too, and I denied that love until I almost believed it myself. But I don’t think you ever get over your first real love.’