Five Portraits (28 page)

Then they both paused. “Uh-oh,” Ease said. “Now they don't need a child. They've got their own.”

They all looked at Squid. She had rescued the diamond and abated its curse—and effectively nulled the prospect for her own adoption.

“I'm so sorry,” Mexine said. “But I can't handle two children. I'm a first-time mother.”

“That's all right,” Squid said bravely.

Kandy reached out and silently enfolded her.

Mexine finally went to sign the receipt and pick up her baby. It was a little girl, with legs rather than a tail. She had indeed made the transition to human mother.

“Heh,” the baby said.

They had to smile. It was clear who the father was.

“Well, I didn't see that coming,” Fornax said. “Of course I didn't think to look.”

“Let's go on home,” Astrid said. What else was there to do?

They walked back to the boat. They got in. Kandy became the board, and Ease started paddling back the way they had come. There was no sign of bad weather.

“What happened?” Maddy asked from the water. “Why didn't you leave the child?”

“The stork arrived,” Squid told her.

“Oh.” The mermaid faded back. What could she say?

“This isn't over,” Fornax said, and faded out herself.

“Maybe not,” Squid agreed thoughtfully.

After a time, Ease paused to rest. The board became Kandy. “I've been thinking,” Kandy said as they drifted. “Splashing through cool water is marvelous for contemplation. You children Communed.”

“Yes,” Squid agreed.

“And you got a direction for your adoption that led you to the island of Dr. Moron. I mean, Moribund.”

“Yes.”

“So why wasn't that the right place?”

“I don't know,” Squid said. “It was pretty sure, until it changed.”

“It was a paradox,” Astrid said. “Your presence there changed it. Your Communing isn't sharp on paradox.”

“I guess not,” Squid agreed.

“When you went down that well,” Kandy said, “I feared awfully for you.”

“I was safe enough.”

“I know. But my feeling didn't—It was almost as if—”

No one else spoke. She had to come to it by herself.

“As if you were my child,” Kandy continued. “I just couldn't help being concerned.”

“Yes,” Squid whispered.

“And when Mexine said to set up the adoption, I thought my heart would break.”

“You too?” Ease asked, surprised. “I know men aren't supposed to get all squishy, so I didn't say anything.”

“You mean mushy,” Astrid said.

“Whatever. It hurt.”

“I didn't want to give you up,” Kandy said. “But neither did I want to ruin your prospects, so I stifled it.”

“Yeah,” Ease agreed.

“Mexine and Doc M were perfect, and it's a great island,” Squid said. “But I didn't really want to do it. I didn't want to be ungrateful, but I wasn't sorry when the stork came.”

“When I took Firenze to be adopted,” Astrid said, “it was much the same. The journey made me realize that I wanted him myself.”

“Yes!” Kandy said. “I think what you did influenced me, Astrid, and not just because we're friends. I realized that there were other prospects. And I want Squid.”

“
We
want Squid,” Ease said.

“And I want you,” Squid said. “You understand about changing forms, Aunt Kandy. And you're so easygoing, Uncle Ease. You've always been good to me.”

Kandy opened her arms. “Come here, dear.”

Squid went to them. They tearfully hugged, rocking the boat. It was clear that another adoption had fallen into place.

Fornax reappeared. “Now it's over, at least what counts.”

“Let's get on home,” Astrid said. “Before anything else happens.”

Kandy became the board, and Ease resumed briskly paddling.

“I do so love a happy ending,” Fornax remarked to Astrid. “I wish I could have told you about what to expect, but there are very sharp limits on my behavior.”

“We appreciate your incidental observations,” Astrid said. “Not that they influence us.” But she crossed her fingers.

“I wish I could participate more directly. It's quite an experience, placing these wonderful children.”

“And it has enhanced our friendship. Just as Wenda Woodwife suggested.”

“It has,” the Demoness agreed. “In all the time I've been watching you, I have not been bored once. Nervous, angry, relieved, but never bored.”

“That's what mortal life is like,” Kandy said. “We don't live long enough to have time for real boredom.”

“It's more than that.”

“Well, we have souls.”

“Your souls don't make you unbored. They merely motivate you to care. Now I am coming to care, and becoming unbored.”

“You told me how when Jumper Spider associated closely with several humans, some of their souls attached to him,” Astrid said. “So he developed a composite soul that served as well as an original one.”

“True.”

“Now you have associated closely with me and the children. You may be developing a similar soul.”

“Why so I may,” Fornax agreed, surprised. “That would account for a lot.”

Astrid smiled. “It will do.”

“It will do, for now,” the Demoness agreed. “But of course the job is unfinished. Three children remain to be adopted. Once that is done, the doubt will abate, Xanth will be saved, and the boredom may return. I dread that.”

“We'll still like you, Aunt Fornax,” Squid said. “We know we owe a lot to you, and you're nice, and so's your castle.”

“Thank you, dear.” There might have been a tear in the Demoness's eye.

Chapter 14:
Win

“So that's how it worked out,” Astrid concluded. “Squid will be with Ease and Kandy. We are getting there.”

“Now that we see how we can keep the children, instead of sending them away, maybe we don't need to make more complicated journeys,” Tiara said. “Mitch and I like Win, and she likes us. We are compatible.”

Indeed, the child was sitting with them, satisfied. “We can fly,” she announced.

Astrid was surprised. “Tiara can float and you can blow, but that's not the same as flying.”

“We'll show you,” Win said. She went to sit on Tiara's lap. Tiara's hair lengthened and spread below them, forming a kind of chair. They floated gently up.

Then Win turned around to face Tiara. Her wind blew the woman backward. Then she squirmed around to sit behind Tiara, still on the woman's bed of floating hair. Now her wind pushed the woman forward. “See? We're flying!”

The others nodded. “So you are,” Astrid agreed. “That's a clever combination of your two talents. You are indeed compatible.”

“Bleep!” Fornax muttered, and faded out.

“Uh-oh,” Mitch said. “When she does that, it means there's something she can't tell us about.” He looked at the flying pair. “Better come down now, dears.”

“But this is so much fun!” Win protested, blowing harder so that they sailed up to treetop level.

“All the same,” Astrid called. “We've had a warning for caution.”

“We'll come down,” Tiara agreed.

“Awww,” Win groaned.

They began to settle toward the ground. But then an abrupt gust of wind caught them, blowing them higher. It wasn't Win's wind; it was swishing through the branches and stirring up leaves. It quickly increased, carrying them out over the tops of the trees and rapidly away.

“Oh!” Tiara cried. “I can't—” But the rest was lost in the roar of the sudden storm.

She couldn't come down, because they would crash. They were going too fast, and out of control in gale-force winds. Win could blow, but she couldn't stop this from blowing them away.

Astrid looked up. There was a malignant cloud face. “Fracto!”

“Oh, bleep!” Kandy swore. “He must have been waiting to pounce. This is more anonymous interference.”

“To stop the adoption,” Astrid agreed. “Stopping any one of the five will be enough to doom Xanth.”

“I've got to rescue them!” Mitch said.

“Not by yourself,” Kandy warned. “There is more here than a mean-spirited cloud. Even if you could catch up to them, they are likely to be forces beyond your resources.”

“But I love them!”

What could they say? The case seemed hopeless.

Fornax appeared. “This of course has no relevance to the problem at hand, but I have restored the Sequins of Events dress. It's purely a guess, but I suspect that certain parties are being taken to a site that just happens to be keyed in by one of the sequins. Experimenting with the dress might, purely by chance, put a person there. Not that this is of any present interest.” She faded.

“Well, now,” Mitch said, understanding perfectly. The empowered dress had some remarkable properties that had given their group quite an adventure on the way to eliminating the anti-pun virus. Knowing its properties made all the difference.

Astrid delved into her belongings and found the dress. Sure enough, the sequins on it were bright with energy. She quickly changed into it. “I think it is you and me,” she said to Mitch.

“Yes. We do know how to do this.” He squatted before her and took hold of a sequin. He pulled it off.

The dress became translucent, showing the outline of her legs and panties. But Mitch had closed his eyes, avoiding any freakout. Blindly, he replaced the sequin.

“Farewell!” Kandy called.

Then they were at a new location. They looked around. Astrid knew immediately it was another planet. “Alpha Centauri,” she said. “Where the centaurs set up their independent society.” They had helped rescue the centaurs from Fornax's clutches. How Astrid's perspective had changed on that!

“They won't be here,” Mitch said. “Fracto can't blow across worlds.”

“I agree. Let's move on before we have to explain things to the centaurs.”

He picked off another Sequin, eyes closed, and her dress did its trick. Astrid was glad that at least she had good legs; bad ones would have been even more embarrassing. He replaced it.

Now they were in a bustling office with video screens all around. “I don't remember this,” Mitch said.

“Neither do I,” Astrid agreed. “Could it be from a sequin we didn't use before?”

“I thought we used them all.”

“So did I.”

Then a wall charged into them. They passed though it, and found themselves on a windswept plain.

“The Cloud!” Mitch explained. “It's moving. It just moved on past us.”

“The Cloud,” Astrid agreed. They had been caught in an electronic cloud infected by a virus, and had had a time getting it clear. “Are Tiara and Win likely to be here?”

He considered. “I suppose it's possible. But this isn't the same kind of cloud as Fracto. I doubt they would get along.”

“So do I. This is more Com Pewter's kind of cloud.”

“So let's move on, and hope we're right.”

“Let's move on,” she agreed.

He squatted to remove another sequin.

After a moment, Astrid looked down. “Oh, bleep,” she muttered. He had forgotten to close his eyes as the sequin came off. He had seen her panties and freaked out. She put one hand down to shield his eyes, then snapped the fingers of her other hand. “Wake.”

Mitch revived. “What happened?”

“Close your eyes. You saw too much, and freaked.”

“Oh. I would have thought I'd become partway immune by now. I mean, I've been with Tiara.”

“My anatomy is new to you.”

“That must be it.” He closed them, then found her dress and pinned the sequin back on.

The scene changed. Now they were in a forest near a cave. “Com Pewter's cave,” Astrid said. “They couldn't be here, for fear Pewter would return.”

“Not a very good hiding place,” he agreed.

They did another sequin. This time the scene was of an island amidst other islands, all fairly pleasant. “I don't recognize this,” Mitch said.

“I do. It's where we found Tiara, locked in her tower, before we encountered you.”

“Tiara,” he echoed. “So this is where she came from.”

“Yes. There's her tower on the other side of the island.”

“Her tower.” He seemed bemused.

“I don't believe she wants to return here. Not without you.”

“I wonder: could she have been put back in her tower? That would prevent her from returning to us.”

“Not since she learned how to use her hair to float. But if they barred the windows, maybe so.”

“We'd better check.”

They walked along the path to the tower. There at the base was a pretty girl. “Tiara!” Mitch cried.

She turned to look at them. It was not Tiara. Her figure was similar, but her hair was way too neat. “Who are you?” the woman asked.

“I'm Mitch. I—I'm looking for Tiara.”

“So am I. I'm Cry, her sister. She has disappeared. It's awful.” She started to cry.

Astrid put together the likely pun: Cry Sis, who cried in a crisis. The pun virus had not passed by here. Still, there was an issue. “Didn't you lock her in the tower?” Astrid asked sharply.

“It was for her own good. Her hair was too wild.”

“That was because it wasn't meant to be restrained,” Astrid said. “Now she can fly with it. That's her talent.”

“Oh, it worked!”

What? “What worked?”

“We thought if we put her in a place where she could escape only by flying, she would either develop her hair or tame it. Then she would be complete.”

“She could have fallen to her death trying!”

“Apopto was afraid that would happen. But Elip managed to avoid the subject. We were afraid she would never get a man unless she dealt with her hair.”

Apoptosis and Ellipsis. More puns, meaning programmed cell death and omission. Astrid decided not to comment.

“Well, she got a man,” Mitch said tightly. Then, to Astrid: “Let's move on.”

Because obviously Tiara was not here. “Let's.”

They walked away from Cry. Then when they were alone, Mitch removed and replaced another sequin, this time keeping his eyes closed.

This time they were in a field they recognized: “This is where we insulted Fracto, and he blew up a storm, flooded us out, and we wound up at the island of Doctor Moribund,” Mitch said.

“Kandy and I were just there,” Astrid said. “If she showed up there, they would help her return.”

“So let's try again.”

They tried again. And found themselves in the castle in Fornax Galaxy. No one was there, and of course Fracto couldn't have blown anyone from one galaxy to another.

The next site Mitch recognized instantly: “Punic Curse, my home village. Let me check.”

He did, and soon verified that they were not here.

The next site was the maze of paths through tall cornstalks next to the alien Zoo, where they had been trapped for a time. The maize maze. “We don't want to stay here long,” Astrid said. “The aliens will try to make us another zoo exhibit.”

“Right. We'd better move on.” Then he paused. “I just picked up a thought. I think it was Tiara's.”

His talent was in receiving and sending thoughts. “Is she here?”

“I think so. Let me see if I can establish better mental contact with her. It's not my normal ability, but I love her, and we have been getting closer mentally.” He concentrated. “I connected! She is here! So is Win. We almost missed it. They're an exhibit.”

Astrid's feelings were mixed. “That means they're safe. But also that it will be difficult to free them. Those aliens are sharp.”

“Don't I know it!”

“Can you send the aliens an idea to free the captives?”

He shook his head. “It doesn't work that way. The idea has to originate with someone else. Then I can relay it. And no, I can't work it out in discussion, as we are doing now. That's not an original idea, it's a manufactured one.”

That made sense. Most talents had limits. “When we were here before,” Astrid said, returning to the subject, “Ease managed to get away. But he would have been caught, and we all would still be there, if we hadn't managed to recover my dress and jump to another Event. If the aliens catch us this time, the first thing they'll do is take away the dress, and maybe burn it.”

“Maybe you should remove it and hide it.”

“I don't have a change of clothing. Can you handle my nudity?”

He considered briefly. “No. I'd constantly freak out. You are a very fine figure of a woman, Astrid. I love Tiara, but I can't afford to look at you bare.”

She knew he was being honest. “Suppose I change to my natural form?”

“That would not freak me out,” he agreed. “But I would be in danger from your Stare.”

“I may look funny as a basilisk wearing dark glasses, but I can do it.”

“Then maybe that's best. We can sneak in and try to rescue them without the aliens knowing we're here.”

“I don't trust this. Those aliens are too knowing.”

“They are,” he agreed morosely.

“Still, we have to try. About my clothing: suppose I give it to you, and you hide it away, and return it to me once we're there? Then I will dress, and be ready to flash any other male I need to.”

“That will do,” he agreed. “But first we need to find them. They're within my idea exchange range, but they could be anywhere in the zoo compound. I don't have a mental sense of direction. In fact it's not even telepathy; it's just spot ideas.”

Astrid considered. “Win's talent is wind. To always have the wind at her back. An anonymous party enhanced it to enable her to control it and make it stronger.”

“Yes, of course. What is your point?”

“The air is still, here. A stray breeze would be noticeable, if anyone thought to notice it. At night few if any would be noticing.”

“Win could make that breeze!”

“That was my thought.”

“Astrid, I could kiss you!” He paused, reassessing. “Not that I would, of course, because—” He broke off, embarrassed, caught between illicit interest and unintended insult. He was a good man, stumbling.

“Three reasons why no kiss,” she said. “One: we are friends, not lovers. Two: my touch is intoxicating and perhaps deadly. Three: we have more important things to accomplish than any stray dalliance, even if we were inclined, which we aren't.”

“Those will do,” he agreed gratefully.

“You have become a marvel of diplomacy,” Fornax murmured in her ear.

“So I am thinking that such a wind would be convenient,” Astrid said. “Once darkness falls.”

“I will relay that idea,” Mitch said. “That much I can do.”

“In the interim, we should find a place to hide, before anyone sees us here.”

“Oh, yes.”

They walked cautiously along a path through the stalks. This was a good place to hide if the invisible giant didn't come looking for them. It was also a good place to get lost, if they weren't careful.

“Let's lie down and cover ourselves with corn husks and dry leaves, so we are hidden. We can sleep until dusk.”

“Good enough. But I am getting hungry.”

“There's some ripe corn on the plants.”

“That will do.”

They ate ripe, raw corn, attended to private functions, then lay down and covered themselves.

“Oh,” Astrid said. “My clothing. Avert your gaze.” She removed her dress, bra, panties, and slippers. Everything except her dark glasses, because it was dangerous for her to go without them. She handed them to Mitch, who bound them into his voluminous hair. It was amazing how effectively they disappeared; it was an excellent hiding place.