Five Portraits (27 page)

“Her name is Busy Bee. She hates being caught here. But her feet are tied and she can't move. So she just sort of sleeps, and heaves honey.”

“Could you dive down and untie her feet?”

“Oh, sure.”

“Then go back and offer her this deal: we will untie her feet so she can escape, if in return she will carry us to the island we are going to.”

“Okay.” Squid went back to the Bee's face.

Astrid remained alert, just in case.

Soon the child was back. “She says okay!”

“Then let's do it. Untie her feet and get back to the canoe quickly. We don't know when the demon is coming.”

“Soon,” Squid said. She changed form and dived into the water.

Astrid put her glasses back on and made her way to the canoe. She hauled on Kandy and Ease to make sure they were secure within the boat.

The mountain shook. The Bee's eyes opened. Her mouth closed, cutting off the stream of honey. Her wings spread out, extending far over the water.

Squid reappeared and heaved herself into the boat. “Hang on!” she panted.

Kandy stirred, little planets swirling around her head. “What's happening?”

“The honey is drugged,” Astrid said. “You've been asleep. We're about to be carried a distance. Hold on to the canoe!”

Kandy grabbed on as the planets cleared. Ease slept on; he had eaten more of the honey.

The Bee's wing-beat revved up. She lifted out of the water, leaving the Honeypot behind. She hovered, then lowered down toward the canoe. Her feet took hold of the sides in four places. Then she paused.

“Oops!” Squid exclaimed. “The demon!”

He came, looming like a dust storm, swelling up to horrendous size. “FEE FI FO FUM!” he roared. “SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO GO OR COME!”

“We have to stop him!” Squid cried. “Before he ties Busy up again.”

Astrid thought frantically, but all she could think of was the way they had flashed Fracto Cloud. Well, the demon was male, wasn't he? “Flash him!” she screamed, ripping off her dress.

Kandy joined her in nudity. Then Fornax appeared. “As long as you two are sunning yourselves, I might as well join you,” she remarked.

“Feast your ugly eyes on this, smokeface!” Astrid called. Then all three beauties faced the demon and inhaled.

The demon froze, transfixed. He did not completely freak out, but neither did he move. He was wholly distracted by the scene.

Busy Bee unpaused. She lifted into the air, carrying the canoe. She flew rapidly forward, leaving the demon behind. By the time he reacted, it was too late; they were out of his reach.

In hardly more than a moment, the boat dropped back into the water with a splash. The Bee lifted high, freed of its weight, and ascended into the sky.

“There it is!” Squid said. “That's where we're going!”

So the Bee had honored the deal, delivering them to their stop.

“Oh, bleep,” Kandy said. “That's the Island of Doctor Moribund.”

Astrid recognized it now. They had been here before. Oh, no! That was the worst sort of mischief.

Or maybe not. They had managed to set the evil doctor up with a nice composite mermaid partner, who might have tamed him in the interim. Could this actually be the adoptive couple? Similarly amazing things had been known to happen in Xanth.

“Maybe we should get decent,” Fornax said as clothing formed around her. Astrid and Kandy hastily dressed.

Ease finally woke, seeing them complete their dressing. “Bleep! I guess I missed the greatest show in Xanth,” he grumbled.

“Of course you did, dear,” Kandy said, kissing his ear. “But I'll make it up to you when I can.” That seemed to cheer him somewhat.

“Who the bleep are you?” a voice called from the water. It was an ugly mermaid.

Astrid oriented on it, and recognized her. “Maddy! It's me, Astrid, and Kandy, and Ease. You remember us. The basilisk and the board. We helped you get your tail.”

“Oh, yes,” Maddy agreed. “You freed me to kill myself, only then I changed my mind.”

“How's it working out with Frank?” That was Frankenstein, a man assembled from pieces of other men.

“Great! He's my kind of man, and he loves me.”

“That's wonderful.”

“We're here this time on business,” Astrid said. “Is the master of the island still here?”

“Of course. Frank is serving him now. But Mexine really runs the show.”

“They get along well?”

“Very well.” Then she reconsidered. “Except for one thing.

“Yes?”

“The stork won't answer her signals.”

Astrid exchanged a look with Kandy. This was fiercely relevant. She tried to add things up in her head. How long had it been? “They haven't been together all that long.”

“It's faster with mermaids. They've been signaling like mad, but the stork hasn't shown its beak around here.”

“Then they should be interested in our visit. We have a child in need of adoption.”

“Wow! I'll call Frank to lead you in.”

“Thank you.”

Maddy put her hands to her mouth, forming a megaphone. “Meat for brains! Get your backside over here!”

In hardly more than a moment the composite man appeared. “Vot's up, dear?”

“We have visitors. Remember Kandy, Astrid, and Ease? They want to see Dr. Moron.”

“Me love it when you talk dirty!” Then he yanked his eyes off her. “Velcome, visitors! Ve have not forgotten you.”

“Nor we you,” Astrid said.

“You're the lovely basilisk. Come this way.”

They followed him along the winding path to the great old mansion. A shapely young woman in shorts and a halter emerged to meet them. “Kandy! Astrid!” she exclaimed. “I knew you were coming.”

“Mexine!” Astrid said. “I didn't recognize you for a moment. You look so—”

“So human,” she said, laughing. “You remember me naked, with the damaged tail.”

“Yes,” Astrid said, modestly embarrassed. She was the former mermaid with a talent for seeing the future. “I gather that your new life has been good for you.”

“Yes it has. I love the sheer mobility that good legs give me, and the magic of panties. I have been empowered. And I owe it all to you folk, who set up the deal. Everything's great, except—”

“Maddy mentioned the stork,” Kandy said.

“That's it. I feel my transition is not complete until I make a family. So we've been signaling the balky bird several times a day, but there's been no response. I'm afraid that they have a thing against my composite body.”

“But they bring babies all the time to crossbreeds,” Astrid said. “You're really a human/mermaid crossbreed, just not done the traditional way.”

Mexine shrugged. “It's been less than a year. There's hope yet. Meanwhile, what brings you here?”

Astrid plunged in. “We have a child who needs to be adopted into a good family.”

Mexine gazed at her, then at Squid. “This one?”

“Yes. But there are a couple of things you need to know about her.”

“She's older,” Mexine said.

“Six years old.”

“If that's the only problem, it's not a problem. She's cute.”

“She's alien.”

“What, from Mundania? No magic talent?”

“From another planet. Her magic is a different kind.”

“I am intrigued. What can she do?”

“Show her, Squid,” Astrid said.

Squid changed into her natural form, with eight tentacles.

“A shape changer!” Mexine said.

“Not exactly. She's a moctapus. A creature who can mold her tentacles into arms and legs, and change colors to resemble clothing. She's a very special girl. We got in trouble on the way here, and she enabled us to get out of it.”

“Trouble?”

“There was a—a bee the size of an island, with a pot of honey.”

“Don't go there!” Mexine said. “That honey's drugged.”

“You know of it?”

“Yes, it's a sad story. A demon captured the big bee and tied her to a rock under the water and makes her make honey for him. We'd free her if we could, but we don't know how.”

“We freed her.”

“You freed her?”

“Squid dived down and untied her feet. Then we adults flashed the demon so that he couldn't catch her again.”

Mexine nodded. “He's male, so he freaked out.” That covered that aspect. She turned to the child. “You're some girl, Squid.”

Squid reformed as a human child, complete with apparent clothing. “Thank you.”

“And you want Dr. Moribund and me to adopt you?”

Squid fidgeted. “I guess.”

“You're shy,” Mexine said. “Well, come meet the doctor.”

Mexine led them to another chamber, where a professorish-looking man was studying a manual. “Heh?” he asked, looking up as they entered.

“Dear, we are considering adopting this child,” Mexine said briskly. “I thought you should meet her first.”

“She looks like a fine child. Heh. Do what you think is best.” He returned to his manual.

“Not so fast, dear,” Mexine said. “If we adopt her, she'll be our child. You'll have to train her in biology. You need to be sure you're compatible.”

Moribund sighed. He had evidently learned not to try to balk his wife. “What can you do, child?”

“I can change my appearance,” Squid said. “I'm a moctopus.”

“A moctopus! The only ones I've heard of live on another planet, light-years away.”

“That's us. We were visiting Xanth as tourists, and, well, I got caught here. My folks are gone. I'm an orphan. So now I need to find a new family.”

“I suspect the halflings on this island would like you. Can you imitate a mermaid?”

Squid shifted into a girl with a green fish's tail.

“Marvelous. My wife was a mermaid before she got her land legs. She surely likes you.”

“I do,” Mexine said.

Astrid was buoyed. It was looking very good.

“But there are chores to do here. Do you work well?”

“I try,” Squid said.

“Let's find out. I dropped the Hopeless Diamond down the water well a few months ago, in a simple exercise of clumsiness. I believe it is poisoning the water we drink, making us feel hopeless. If we could get it out, things would be much improved. But the well is deep and we can't reach the gem, and the bucket can't get it from under the water. If we lower you into the well, do you think you could fetch it?”

Squid didn't hesitate. “Sure.”

They went to the well. It was indeed deep, with a winch and bucket. The bottom was lost in darkness far below.

“I don't like the look of this,” Kandy said. “What if the rope breaks?”

“I'll emulate a snail and crawl back up,” Squid said. “I can do it.” She got into the bucket.

Frank turned the winch handle, lowering the bucket into the well. Squid was just small enough to fit inside the narrow channel. Soon the bucket disappeared into the gloom, along with the child.

“Oh, I feel claustrophobic!” Kandy said, shuddering. “It's so tight and deep!”

“She can handle it,” Astrid reassured her, though she did feel a quease herself.

There was a faint splash from deep below. The bucket had struck the water.

They waited several interminable moments. Squid was diving under the water, searching for what amounted to a single stone amidst whatever other debris was there, in darkness. Suppose she got stuck? She could drown, and they would be completely unable to help her.

“Remember, the girl is competent in the water,” Fornax said. “She can glow in the dark, making what light she needs. This is just a routine point of public information.”

Or so it was phrased. It was the Demoness's way of letting her know, without violating any protocols. Squid was not in any trouble.

Then there was a jerk on the rope. Squid was signaling that she was ready to come back up.

Frank wound the winch. The rope went taut. It accumulated around the winch column as the load was hauled slowly up. At last the bucket came into sight, carrying Squid in moctopus form. A tentacle reached out, holding a huge bright blue diamond. She had found it!

“Marvelous!” Moribund exclaimed, taking it. “I'll put it safely away now. Heh.” He departed with the gem.

“I believe he is taken with you, Squid,” Mexine said. “You have really helped. I'm not sure I credit that business of the diamond poisoning the water, but I do feel more hopeful now. So why don't we set up the adoption?”

Kandy was silent. She looked oddly pained, considering the success of their mission.

“There is one thing,” Astrid said. “We will need to arrange to paint your family portrait. This has to do with saving Xanth from destruction.”

“Well then, we'll arrange it.”

There was a fluttering of a large bird coming in for a landing. They all looked. It was a stork! With a bundle hanging from its beak. A tiny foot projected from it.

“Special delivery for Mexine Mermaid,” the stork said. “If you will just sign this receipt.”

Mexine stood with her mouth open, too astonished to speak.

“That's her,” Astrid said, indicating Mexine. “She didn't expect you.”

“I almost didn't make it,” the bird said. “The island seemed hopelessly lost. I searched for days, and was about to return the baby to the home office as undeliverable. But suddenly the confusion cleared, and I came on in. It's good to get the load off my beak.”

“The Hopeless Diamond!” Kandy said. “It
was
poisoning the water!”

“And once Squid got it out, the water cleared,” Astrid agreed. “Just in time.”

“It must have been spreading from the well into the sea,” Kandy said. “Making the whole island seem like a loss. We felt the effect when we arrived.”