Fixed on You (17 page)

“We’ll be fine,” Celia assured
him. “And we’ll end our conversation with a pretend catfight if you want to up
the charade.”

Hudson’s jaw tightened. “No
catfight. In my script, you’re friendly toward each other.”

“Then she and I should sit and
chat, since we’re supposed to be friends.” Celia winked at me. “Right, Alayna?”

“Right.” I winked back. I
couldn’t help it. She was sort of adorable. “And since we’re friends, you
should call me Laynie.”

“Friendly, not friends.” He took
a deep breath, but his voice was still tight when he spoke again. “Fine. I’ll
be back shortly.”

I watched him stroll off, the
tight muscles of his butt hidden by his jacket, but his backside attractive all
the same. Suddenly, I remembered I had a witness to my ogling, and I turned my
attention back to Celia only to find she was ogling as well. Plus she had the
adoration look that I’d spotted in the pics of her with him.

“You like him,” I said before I
could help it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

She shrugged then cocked a brow.
“Seriously? I’m probably your one opportunity to get any real information about
Hudson and his life and that’s what you want to know?”

I laughed. “You’re right, I’d
like some info.” The list of questions I could attack Celia with was so long I
didn’t know where to begin. Since I wasn’t sure how much time we had, I needed
to make it good. “Okay, Mira seemed to think I should be jealous of you. Should
I be? I mean, should I be pretending I am?”

Celia pursed her perfectly plump
lips. “Well, isn’t that a clever way to ask the same question? No. Hudson and I
have never been anything but friends. If he were a boyfriend who spilled his
guts to his girlfriend, he’d tell you that I liked him, but that he’s never
felt anything for me but friendship. So unless you’re the shallow type who’s
jealous of all girls her guy’s friends with, then don’t play jealous.”

I was a bit shallow like that,
and definitely the jealous type when in the throes of obsession. But I was playing
a part, so why not make my character void of my own imperfections? “No jealousy
then. What about his family? Is he close to them or is he as withdrawn with
them as with everyone? I can’t quite tell.”

“He loves them all, deeply. As
deeply as Hudson can love anyone, I mean. But it takes quite a lot of
perception to get that.” She leaned back in her chair and eyed me. “I think
someone he was in love with would know that.”

I nodded, taking it in. Then I
dove into the question that had plagued me since I’d first heard about his
predicament. “Why doesn’t Hudson’s mother believe that he’d be in love? Other
than that she’s a cold-hearted bitch herself.” This elicited a grin from Celia.
“Has he never dated anyone before?”

“Sort of. I mean, he’s dated
women. Not women he ever brought to meet his mother, but, yeah he dated.”

The stabbing pain returned.
Simultaneously, I noted a flash of agony darken Celia’s bright face. It
occurred to me that this conversation must be even more difficult for her,
considering she actually had feelings for the guy and I had…well, not feelings,
but something.

“You know, date is not the right
word. He’d sleep with them. And then he’d mess with them. It got him in all
sorts of trouble. More than once.”

I stilled. “What do you mean messed
with them?”

“I shouldn’t tell you. He doesn’t
want you to know. But I really think you should. Otherwise you might be caught
off guard if Sophia says something.”

My voice was a whisper. “How did
he mess with them?”

She sighed. “It’s hard to explain.
Like, he’d say he only wanted to be friends or friends with benefits, but then
he’d manipulate them in that way of his, you know, how he always gets what he
wants?”

Boy, did I.
I could only
manage to nod.

“He’d manipulate these women into
falling in love with him. Which isn’t really hard, I mean, he is Hudson. But
he’d really play them. Lead them on, get them really hooked on him. It was like
a game for him—one of the crappy things spoiled rich kids do just because they
can.” She paused. “I can say that because I love Hudson dearly. Also, I’m a
spoiled rich kid, too.”

The world felt like it had fallen
out from underneath me. Was that what Hudson was doing with me? My throat felt
tight. “Does he, um, still do that?”

“I honestly don’t know. He’s had
a ton of therapy so I’d like to say he’s ‘better’ now, but who knows? Of
course, because of it, his mother got the idea that if he married someone like
me, I could keep him in line. And my parents want me married to the Pierce name
and bank account—they’re disgustingly greedy. But I could never deal with those
head trips—even though I am very fond of him. And I’d love to get in that
beautiful man’s pants. Can you imagine how gorgeous our children would be?
Sigh.”

She said the word sigh instead of
actually sighing. That was what I clung to from her monologue because I didn’t
want to think about the rest. Therapy helped people—it did, I couldn’t deny it—but
I had doubts that it had fixed me. And knowing what I knew about patterns of
past behavior, I recognized that Hudson should not be having just sex with
anyone if he were seriously “better.”

Exactly like I shouldn’t be in an
emotionless relationship if I were “better” since a lack of affection from a
person I desired was one of my triggers.

I put a hand on my knees under
the table to stop their knocking. I had to get out of there.

Celia continued, unaware of my
torment. “But this plan of Hudson’s is brilliant. As soon as Sophia relaxes
enough to believe he’s fallen for you, she’s going to be ecstatic. She wants
him to be normal. She wants him to be happy and in love.
I
want him to
be happy and in love. Too bad it’s not real.”

Yeah, too bad.

She frowned, concern etched in
her brow. “Are you okay? You seem really pale.”

No, I wasn’t fucking okay! I’d
just been informed that the man I shouldn’t have been fucking in the first
place was probably trying to fuck with my head as well as my body. “I’m not
feeling well all of a sudden.” Not a lie. I seriously thought I might throw up.
“Excuse me, I have to…” I couldn’t think of any excuse to leave. I only knew I
had to…“Go.”

I snaked quickly through the
crowd toward the doors, pushing my way into the packed lobby. The show was
starting in fifteen minutes and I was going against traffic. I ducked and
headed for a different door when I saw Sophia by the bar, hoping she didn’t see
me. Not because I cared anymore about Hudson’s stupid scam but because I didn’t
want to deal with her.

Focusing on avoiding Sophia,
however, made me completely miss that I was walking right past Hudson.

“Where are you going?” He reached
a gentle arm out to stop me, and familiar tingles shot straight to my womb.

Accompanying the tingles, my
stomach churned in disgust. I threw his arm off mine. “Don’t touch me!”

Hudson’s brow knit in confusion.
“Whoa.” He put his hands out in front of him, showing he wouldn’t touch me but
blocking my route of escape. “What’s wrong with you?”

I scanned the lobby for a way to
sneak past. “What’s wrong with you would be the more appropriate question.”

“Alayna.” He stepped toward me,
his voice low and stern. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you’re
making a scene. You need to calm down and save whatever this is for later.”

He moved to grip my elbow, but I
pulled away before he could. “There isn’t going to be a later—I quit.” I darted
past him and out the main doors to the sidewalk.

“Alayna!” He followed me.

Anger surged through me, tears
forming in my eyes. I was vulnerable and floundering and he had taken
advantage. I turned on him, hot tears streaking my cheeks. “Tell me, Hudson,
did you pick me because you thought my obsession issues would make your game
more fun? Because really, where’s the challenge in that?”

Hudson’s jaw tightened,
realization setting in. “Fuck Celia and her big mouth.” He took a step toward
me, his hand reaching for me. I stepped away. He softened, but his glare was
insistent. “Let’s talk about this in the limo.”

“I don’t want—“

He cut me off. “Alayna. It’s not
fair of you to listen to a stranger tell her story and not give me a chance to
explain.” His eye twitched, but, other than that, his features and composure
were controlled. “I’m telling you we will talk about this in the limo which is
parked in the lot next door. First, because my mother is watching, I’m going to
bend down and kiss your forehead. Then I’m going to walk over and tell her that
you aren’t feeling well. I will meet you in the car.”

I peeked over his shoulder and
saw Sophia inside the doors, a smug grin on her face. I’d already told him I
was quitting. I’d get a job at whatever loser place Brian wanted me to work at,
because I obviously couldn’t work anywhere that Hudson Pierce would be. But I
knew he wouldn’t let me walk away unless I agreed to his plan. Then, when I got
to the limo, I’d tell Jordan to take off before Hudson joined us.

I gave him a tight nod. He
approached cautiously and kissed me softly on the forehead. I crossed my arms
over my chest to hide my nipples that had pebbled traitorously.

“The limo, Alayna. I’ll meet you
there.”

I wiped the tears roughly from my
face as I walked toward the lot he’d pointed to, picking up my pace as soon as
I was out of his view. There were several limos parked, but I spotted Jordan
leaning against the hood, playing with his phone. When he saw me walking toward
him he opened the door without a word.

“Take me home, please, Jordan,” I
choked as I slipped in.

Jordan shut the door and I heard
him get into the driver’s seat. He hadn’t said anything, hadn’t agreed or
disagreed to my direction, and, for a moment, I feared he’d only take his orders
from Hudson.

Relief swept over me when the car
started...

…and then immediately left when
he pulled up next to the ballroom and Hudson climbed in, the doors
automatically locking after he’d closed the door.

Shit!
Hudson had probably
texted Jordan that I was coming out, to pick him up after, and to not take me
anywhere without him. Unreasonably, I felt betrayed by my driver.

As the car pulled into traffic, I
pressed into the opposite corner, as far away as I could from the man sharing
the car with me.

Hudson pressed a button and
spoke. “Jordan, drive around until I say otherwise. Or find someplace to park
for a while.”

Normally I’d blush, afraid of
what Jordan would think we were doing in the backseat. But I was too pissed and
hurt to care.

We sat a few minutes, not
speaking. I couldn’t imagine that the always-in-control Hudson Pierce was at a
loss for words, so I assumed his silence was meant to calm me down. Or unnerve
me. Some sort of expert manipulative tactic.

It didn’t calm me. Instead, the
silence gave me time to review every moment of the past few days, allowing me
to recognize his domineering hand in all of his actions. It gave me fuel to
hate him for his control over me. And myself for falling in with the prick in
the first place.

Finally he spoke, quietly. “What
exactly did Celia tell you?”

I couldn’t remain silent. “Oh,
just how you fuck with vulnerable women’s emotions. Is it true?”

“Alayna—“ He moved across the
seat, placing his hand on my knee.

“Don’t touch me!” He removed his
hand. “And stop saying my name. Is it true?”

“Will you calm down so I can
explain?”

His soft tone felt patronizing,
emboldening my fury. I needed him to admit it. I had to hear him say it. “Is.
It. True?”

His answer came in a burst. “Yes,
it’s true!” He took a deep breath, regaining his control. “In the past, it was
true.”

I froze, my eyes riveted on him.
I hadn’t expected a confession. Hadn’t expected him to tell me anything—he
never did—and I feared if I moved he’d stop talking. So I remained still.

He took his time, not looking at
me as he made his admission. “I did...things...that I’m not proud of. I
manipulated people. I hurt them and often it was deliberate.” He turned to me,
piercing me with his intense gray eyes and the grit in his voice. “But not now.
I don’t do that now. Not with you.”

His delivery affected me, but I
bit past the emotion, knowing I had proof that betrayed his words. “Really?
Because it seems completely obvious that you did exactly that with me. The way
you picked me out at the symposium and you tracked me down and gave me a spa
vacation and Jesus, you bought the club!” 

He shook his head. “It’s not like
that. I explained the gift and I was looking at the club anyway. When I found
out you worked there, yes, it helped me make my decision—”

I cut him off. “And you ‘hired’
me and seduced me. And when I told you I needed to not have sex with you, you
somehow got me to do exactly that. You
are
manipulative. You’re a bully,
Hudson.” I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping to stop the new onslaught of
tears that threatened.

“No, Alayna. I didn’t want that
with you.” The anguish in his tone set my tears into motion. He leaned forward
and I sensed he wanted to touch me. Instead, he put his hand on the seat next
to me, putting himself as close to me as I’d let him. “I don’t
want
to
be like that with you.”

I swiped at the tears, unable to
keep up with their pace. “Then what do you want to be with me, Hudson?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure.” He sat
back against the seat. His expression confused, torn.

Suddenly, he looked much younger
than I’d ever seen him. He no longer seemed the confident, commanding alpha
male that I knew him to be, but like a group member in one of my therapy
sessions, exposed and accessible.