Fixed on You (21 page)

“Mom!”

An immense wave of rage swept
through me. Not only because Madge had insinuated pretty shitty things about me
and my sex life, though that did sting.  But also because Celia, the woman who
was probably Hudson’s closest friend, had called him a psycho. No wonder Hudson
kept himself so guarded and shut off from the world. Even the people who were
supposed to care most for him seemed to have no understanding or empathy for
the inner demons that he likely fought on a daily basis.

No wonder he’d come looking for
me.

I spritzed cool water on my face,
attempting to fan my fury. Then I dried my hands and rejoined the Werner women.
Even though I’d just been with him, I suddenly couldn’t wait to be with Hudson
again. I regretted that I’d pushed him away. He needed me, I realized now, in a
very profound way that I couldn’t put into words. And I needed him. I
practically ran to the box.

Hudson put his arm around my
waist when I came to him, though he continued his banter with Mr. Werner and I
melted. Wanting even more contact with him, to share physically the epiphany
I’d had in the bathroom, I slid my hand under his jacket, desperate to touch
him more, gliding my fingers along his lower back.

He stiffened.

I withdrew my hand and he
relaxed.

I had to concentrate to not let
the sting of his rejection show on my face. Maybe he didn’t realize what I was
trying to tell him. So I tried again in the dark when the symphony started
again, placing my hand on his knee. Then I trailed it higher along his thigh.

He stopped me, taking my hand in
his. He held it there for the remainder of the show, and though it still held
warmth and strength, it felt like a restraint rather than a comfort.

Disappointment wrapped around me
with a cold chill. I was too late. I’d pushed him away and now the invitation
was gone. I was grateful for the dark. He wouldn’t notice my eyes filling.

After the concert was over, we
walked out with the Werners toward the parking garage rather than the pickup
area.

“I drove,” Hudson said, answering
my brow raise.

He kept his arm around me as we
walked. His touch was constant, but it was all pretend. The pressure and
passion he’d shown me in private was missing.

Also gone were his eyes. Before,
whenever I was with him, his eyes never left my body, my face. Now he didn’t
make eye contact once and he barely talked to me at all. Instead, he chatted
comfortably with Celia, sharing inside jokes. With each step we took, I felt
more and more distraught. Sobs built up in in my throat and I concentrated on forcing
them back down, keeping them at bay.

We parted with our companions at
the Mercedes. Celia gave me a quick hug while Hudson shook Warren’s hand and
kissed Madge on the cheek. I nodded to the Werners then Hudson held the door
open for me as I climbed into the passenger seat.

Before getting in himself, Hudson
said goodbye to Celia. I watched through the window, my stomach curling. He
hugged her and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. I wiped away
the stray tear that slipped past my defenses.

Besides destroying me, watching
them made me mad—mad as in crazy and mad as in angry as hell. Wasn’t Hudson
supposed to be proving that he and Celia
shouldn’t
be together? And
after I’d learned her true thoughts about him, I knew they shouldn’t be together.
She was all wrong for him.

Envy spread through my veins like
liquid ice. Celia might not have romance with Hudson, but neither did I. And
she had friendship with him. At the moment, it appeared I had nothing. 

We didn’t speak while we
maneuvered through the long line out of the garage, Hudson humming fragments of
the Brahms symphony as he drove. Was I the only one feeling the thick and heavy
tension? A tension that seemed to grow thicker by the minute.

By the time we were on the road I
couldn’t hold in my feelings of frustration and heartbreak any longer. “So you
knew Celia would be there tonight.” It wasn’t a question. I already knew the
answer, but I wanted him to say it.

His eyes widened, as if surprised
at my harsh tone. “I knew Celia would be there with her parents, yes.” He
glanced at me sideways. “Her parents, whom are friends with my parents,
remember.”

Right. Fooling them was as
essential as fooling Sophia Pierce.

What was my problem? I wrapped my
arms around my chest and banged my head against the window once, twice, three
times. I shouldn’t have been angry—he’d told me he’d be fake with me. I
shouldn’t have been jealous—Celia had him as a friend way before I came along.
And she didn’t have more than that.

And neither did I. Not since I’d
ended things four days before. Funny how I’d been afraid that being with Hudson
would make me fall into bad patterns. Instead, not being with him had been what
triggered my anxiety that week and what made me feel so rotten at the moment.

Another tear slipped down my
cheek. I dabbed at it with my knuckle.

“What’s wrong?” Hudson asked, concern
in his voice. Or maybe it was simply puzzlement.

I considered what to say. I could
keep the barrier up between us and evade the question. Or lie. Or confess my envy.
Or I could be honest.

Unable to go another minute with
the loneliness that had settled in my chest, honesty won over. “I want you,” I
whispered, my face pressed against the glass, too embarrassed to look at him.

“Alayna?” I felt his eyes on me.

“I know what I said.” I wiped my
eyes, determined to keep the rest of my tears in my eyes. “But maybe I was
wrong. I mean, I don’t know if you’re right—if spending time with you can make
me better. But I know that since we’ve been apart, I’ve been worse.” Taking a
ragged breath, I braved a look at him. “I miss you.” A nervous giggle escaped
from my throat. “Told you I get attached.”

A trace of a smile crossed his
lips. “Where do you think I’m taking you?”

I glanced out the window, having
not been paying attention to our destination. Lincoln. Headed East. We were
blocks away from Pierce Industries. The loft.

I straightened, a blush crawling
on my cheeks. “Oh,” I said, the lonely ache inside burning away with the spark
of desire. Then irritation took over. “I told you no more sex, and you were
taking me to the loft without asking?”

“Alayna,” he sighed with
frustration. “You are a bundle of mixed signals. At the symphony you seemed to
indicate—“

“And you totally blew me off,” I interrupted.
“Don’t talk to me about mixed signals!”

He put his hand on my knee. “I
was trying to avoid mixing business with pleasure. A difficult task with you,
precious.” His voice grew low. “Especially with your wandering hands and how
hot you look in that dress.”

I blinked. “Oh,” I said again. How
did he do that? How did he compartmentalize, dividing the pretend from the
real, never the two to cross while I tied myself up in knots?

 “If you want me to ask, I will,
though you know it’s not my style.” He took my silent stare as a “yes” even though
it was simply me processing. “May I take you to my bed, Alayna?”

His request came out in a rumble that
had my passion buttons going off like fireworks. “Yes,” I half moaned as he
pulled up to a red light.

His hand moved to my head,
pulling me to him. His mouth was greedy and full of need, his tongue tasting of
deep lust and the Amaretto coffee he’d had at intermission. My panties felt
slick, and the corset binding of my dress felt tight against my breasts.

The honk of a horn pulled him
back to the steering wheel. He shifted in his seat and my eyes shot to the
bulge straining his pants. My mouth watered, wanting it inside me.

Hudson shifted again. “Those
hungry eyes are not helping the situation.”

And then we were there. Pulling
in at the valet station of Pierce Industries. I was oblivious to the motions
Hudson went through, greeting the valet, handing over his keys, moving to walk
behind me toward the elevators, his hand firmly on my ass.

In the elevator we were alone.
Hudson entered the code for the penthouse and, as soon as the doors closed, he
pressed me against the sheer metal wall of the car. Pausing inches from my
lips, his breath mingled with mine. “You’re so beautiful, Alayna.”

“Then kiss me.”

One side of his mouth curled up
seductively. “I think I’ll take my time.” Slowly, he traced his nose against my
jawline, and down my neck. I moved my mouth to try to capture his, but he was
quicker, always a step ahead of me. His merciless seduction turned me on to no
end, creating a pool of moisture between my legs.

His slow pace was killing me. “I
think I’ll urge you to move faster.” I slid my hand down to fondle the bulge in
his pants.

“Fuck me, Alayna!” he hissed as I
continued to knead his erection through the material.

“You’ll get no protest from me.”
I felt him growing stiffer under my palm. “Actually, I’d like to fuck you with
my mouth.”

His eyes widened, but before I
could act on my statement, the elevator stopped at the top floor. He pulled me
out of the car, letting go of me to fumble for his keys. I rubbed his back
while he unlocked the door, unable to stop touching him. “Get in,” he growled
as he held the door open for me.

We’d only made it over the
threshold, the door slamming behind us before he’d pushed me to the wall. He
flipped on one light, then he took my face in his hands and my mouth in his,
thrusting his tongue inside to battle with mine, his stubble chaffing against
my tender skin. I loved his aggressiveness, as if he couldn’t get enough of my
taste. I certainly couldn’t get enough of his.

But I’d been serious about
wanting my mouth elsewhere on his body, and though Hudson liked to dominate our
time together, I wanted to please him. While he still cradled my face,
controlling the intensity of our kiss, my hands unzipped his fly and slipped
inside to stroke him. Even through the material of his briefs, Hudson groaned
against my lips at my caress.

His sounds ignited my desire. I
pulled away from his grip and turned him to the wall. He was going to need
support for what I had planned. Then I wrestled his pants and briefs down his
legs enough to release his cock. “There’s the big boy,” I purred as I swirled
my hand across his head. Catching a bead of pre-cum, I circled my fingers
around his shaft and let the moisture glide my hand down his erection.

He moaned again, and I sank to my
knees. Holding his cock at the base with one hand, I curled my lips around his
crown, and sucked him gently. He gasped, gripping my hair in between his
fingers, pulling it to the point of a delicious sting. “God, Alayna. That’s
so…ah…so good.”

His praise encouraged me. I
stroked my fist up and down his shaft, quickly developing a steady pace, while
I licked and sucked his head into my hollowed cheeks. I gave him the full
treatment, trailing my tongue along his thick ridge and softly grazing my teeth
across his crown. He grew thicker under my attention, and my own arousal
spiked.

I hadn’t thought whether or not I
intended to suck him to orgasm, but suddenly I was desperate for it. I needed
his climax, maybe as much as he did, and my mouth greedily portrayed that need.

“Alayna, stop.” Before I could
react, his hands pulled my head away, his cock falling from my mouth with a
pop.

Shocked and confused, I let him
help me up. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, precious. Your mouth is
amazing.” He reclaimed my lips for a deep kiss. “But I need to come inside your
cunt. I’ve been thinking about it for days.” He wrapped his arms around my back
and began working on the ties of my corset. “And you need to be naked.”

I groaned, knowing it would take
forever to get me out of my dress. “That will take too long,” I murmured into
his neck.

“It has to be.” He pulled me
tighter so he could see what he was doing over my shoulder. “I have to have
access to your breasts. I love your breasts.”

I sighed and began working the
buttons of his shirt. “Then you have to be naked, too.”

He shook his head against mine.
“That will take longer.”

“But I love the feel of my
breasts against your bare chest.”

His chuckle turned into a groan
of frustration. “I don’t even want to know how you got into this dress. Turn
around.” I did so, lifting my hair so he could work better. His fingers moved
deftly and soon he had loosened it enough for me to take over.

I felt his fingers leave me and
heard him fumbling with his own clothing. With my back still toward him, I
slipped the gown off the rest of the way, and climbed out. Then I removed my
panties. I left my shoes on, knowing he liked to do me in heels. Before I
turned around, I took a deep breath, knowing that when I saw him naked, he
would take it away.

And, boy, was I right. I’d only
really gotten to look at him naked the one time in the shower, but I hadn’t
forgotten how the sight affected me. His stomach was washboard tight, and his
thigh muscles strong. And in between his legs, his erection stood proudly, even
more virile and beautiful without his clothing to hinder the view.

Finally my gaze made it to his face,
and I noticed he was leering at me with the same amount of intense desire I
felt for him. Our eyes met. Then I was in his arms—his strong, beautiful arms—as
he kissed me with deep hunger, my breasts smashed against his torso. Soon, he
tucked his hands under my ass and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist
and my arms around his neck, as he adjusted my hips over his cock.

He paused at my entrance. “I
haven’t gotten you ready.”

“I’m close enough. Come on in,
Hudson.”

He smirked as he rammed into me
in one fierce drive. His cock burned inside my not yet fully wet pussy, but it
also felt so wonderfully good. So deep and so hard.